Y'all have no idea how much I fucking love the concept of Hanahaki disease

So I decided to make an AU of it with Awsten, except slightly different?? I kinda made my own sort of rules?? So it's not really Hanahaki because it's not just throwing up flowers

You'll see www

also "Mr. Brightside" really reminds me of this for some reason

if you've never heard it are you even human

well

then again

I've only just listened to it in its entirety today

so

EDIT: it's been at least a week since I've started writing this and I've replayed Mr. Brightside at least 100 times help

~

Awsten was walking down a path that cut through a field of yellow flowers; tulips, dahlias, lilies, chrysanthemums, and a range of other flora he couldn't recognize. But they were all yellow.

The weather was most ideal; there wasn't a cloud in the sky but there was a breeze that battled with the relentless beating of the sun's rays. It was a picturesque scene.

As he continued to walk down the path, there was a particular flower that caught his eye. It wasn't anything special; just a simple yellow rose. But it seemed to draw him in as he began to walk towards it.

As he approached it, he thought he heard a voice. A whisper. He whipped his head around. There was no one in sight. But the voice–or rather, voices, continued. Awsten continued to approach the rose, as it now truly piqued his interest.

The voices grew louder. He bent down in front of the rose. He could barely make out what was being said, for there were so many voices. There was a cacophony of noise rolling around his head now, disturbing the once tranquil garden. He reached out to touch the rose, careful to avoid the thorns.

He cupped the flower in his hands, mesmerized by it's inexplicable beauty. Suddenly, a single phrase, a sentence, rang through his ears, clear as the sky above him.

"She doesn't love you."

Awsten jerked up, accidentally pulling up the flower with him. It disintegrated, leaving only the petals behind. He stared at the petals in his hand in shock. He opened his mouth to speak, but the moment he did so, the petals swirled around in his hands, and, seemingly, with a mind of their own, went straight through his parted lips.

He choked, falling to his knees as he clutched his throat. He felt a growing pain in his lungs. He coughed violently, and watched as yellow rose petals fell from his mouth. 

No.

It's not true.

Right?

Awsten sat up straight in his bed, panting heavily, eyes wide. Every breath caused him physical pain in his chest.

No.

He jumped out of bed, careful not to wake his sleeping girlfriend. He ran to the bathroom, nearly slamming the door with the force he used to open it. He fell into a coughing fit, his arms gripping the side of the sink, his legs barely supporting him.

It can't be.

When his vision came back into focus, he saw a pile of yellow petals sitting at the bottom of the sink. He coughed again, and he watched as 2 more petals fluttered down, adding to the pile below.

No...

Why?

~

2 months later

~

"THANK Y'ALL SO FUCKING MUCH FOR COMING OUT TONIGHT! I LOVE Y'ALL SO MUCH! THANK YOU, AND GOODNIGHT HOUSTON!" Awsten yelled into the microphone.

The crowd cheered wildly as Awsten, Otto, and Geoff waved at them, and then walked offstage.

Once backstage, Awsten fell to the floor, falling into yet another coughing fit. Otto and Geoff were immediately at his side as the stage crew started running around, getting water, pain meds, and even a whole oxygen tank for the crippled singer. Otto and Geoff hoisted Awsten up by his arms and sat him down in a chair.

Suddenly, he started choking most violently, jerking spasticly. A yellow rose, like the one he had seen in that dream when this first started, gently fell to the ground. Only it was stained with his blood.

"Dude, you're coughing up whole flowers now," Otto said worriedly.

"We have to take you to the hospital," said Geoff. "This has gone on too long. You're gonna die Awsten."

"Then so be it," he muttered, wiping the blood from his mouth.

Geoff and Otto stepped away from their friend so that the crew could attend to him. It pained them to watch Awsten suffer so much, just for her.

Her.

Her name sounded sour on their tongues. No one spoke of her but Awsten. 

He didn't want to believe it. 2 months, and he still couldn't accept it. He still loved her. Even though it was killing him, he still loved her.

~

It was far past midnight, and Awsten had just got home. He gently opened the door, assuming his girlfriend was asleep.

She wasn't.

His voice was caught in his throat as he beheld the sight before him.

A man, with his arm draped around her. His face leaning in to hers, with a deer-in-the-headlights look on his face as he stared at Awsten.

She turned to the blue haired boy at the doorway. She gasped.

"Cia–"

Awsten never finished his sentence, for suddenly, a flower bud sprouted out from just above his collarbone, breaking the skin. He screamed in agony as a yellow rose bloomed, adorning his neck. Thorns ripped into the skin and flesh around the stem. Awsten collapsed on the floor and passed out from the pain. The last thing he heard was her.

"AWSTEN!"

~

He was in that field again. Only it was barren. Awsten looked around and he watched as the flowers around him disintegrated, their petals getting carried by the wind.

A.N. JUMPSUIT MV W H O ?

He couldn't understand what was happening. Why were the flowers fading? What was happening in the waking world that could cause this?

He bent down to pick up a flower that was still intact by his feet. The second he touched it, memories began flooding back.

"Hey, Awsten! There's this zipline thing nearby! Let's go!" she said cheerily.

"Uh, you go right on ahead, I'll just, um, watch," Awsten said, pushing away his eager girlfriend.

"Aw, come on! It's a lot of fun, trust me!" she insisted, tugging at his arm.

"If the risk of falling to your death is your idea of fun, I want no part of it," Awsten stated adamantly, turning away.

"Awsten, you drama queen, I will drag your ass with me if I have to," she said sternly, putting her hands on her hips.

Awsten groaned and turned around. "Fiiine, but if I die I'm pressing charges."

"Yay!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands together gleefully. "Also, you can't press charges if you're dead."

"I can do what I want when I'm dead," Awsten huffed. "I'll haunt you until your dying days so you'll always feel guilty about sending me to my death."

"You're talking about this as though you're actually going to die," she laughed.

"Because I am!" Awsten exclaimed, throwing his hands up.
"Don't worry, I'll save you if you get stuck or something," she said as she hugged his arm.

"STUCK?!"

Awsten dropped the flower, overwhelmed by the memory, and once it made contact with the ground, it turned to ash, and the wind swept it up and carried it across the plains.

Suddenly, Awsten found that he couldn't remember what he had just seen. In fact, anything in relation to her seemed to be...

Gone.

He racked his mind to find even a sliver of something. But every time he could grasp ahold of a memory, it slipping through his fingers.

Gone.

In one last attempt to remember, he shouted her name, his voice laced with anguish and desperation.

"CIARA!"

~

When he awoke, there was a bright light just above his face, causing him to flinch and hold up his arm to block it. When he did so, he felt a slight tug. He looked at his arm. There was a tube. His eyes followed the tube and he found that he was hooked up to an IV.

The hospital?

What am I doing here?

As he sat up, he felt the urge to cough, but all that came out was a strangled wheeze. Awsten immediately expected there to be a flower of some shape or form to be stuck in his mouth.

But he felt nothing.

What happened to the flowers? he wondered, touching his hand to his throat.

His fingers brushed against something on his neck. Something soft and delicate.

Like rose petals.

A permanent reminder of her.

Her.

What was her name again? Awsten found himself unable to answer that question.

Suddenly, a nurse came into the room. "Oh good! You're awake! That means the operation was successful!"

"Operation?..."

"I'm afraid we weren't able to remove that," she said, pointing to the rose. "It's rooted to your brain, and removing it woukd cause some quite possibly permanent brain damage."

"Oh."

"I'm afraid that you may not have long to live. The flower has grown a lot since you were brought in here 3 days ago."

"3 days?!" Awsten exclaimed, sitting upright in the hospital bed.

The nurse nodded solemnly. "Your bandmates and family visted often. Oh, and a girl who says that this is her fault."

"What's her name?" Awsten demanded. He had to know her name. There was something tugging at his brain, forcing him to try, try remember her.

"She didn't say," the nurse replied.

Awsten plopped back on the pillow, tired and frustrated. Why was she so important to him when he hardly even knew who she was? Who she is?

"Um, sir, if I may give you a recommendation, I think it would be best for you to forget about her."

"Forget?" Awsten asked, astounded. No, she's too important to forget. At least, that's what he thought.

"If she is truly the root of your condition, then the flower will continue to grow, unless you let go."

No.

He refused to let go.

Even if it killed him.
~
Lmao I'm too tired to finish so maybe part 2 or smth it'll be an "x reader" so yeah have this
~
Word count: 1,722 hOO BOYO THAT'S A LOTTA WORDS