Mentally and physically XD

Caution: You are about to read my nighttime thoughts. Whenever I think about anything at night, typically they're over-exaggerated. Don't take this seriously.

Physically, I ain't very strong, fast, and I have derpy stamina. Plus, I dun eat a lot of salad or veggies in general, so that's a thing X3

Mentally, I freak out and stress out more than I show it, but I also like it that way.

Honestly, I dun want people to know how much I stress myself out (except for maybe a few, but eh, not important right now)

Another thing~ When I act derpy at school and that jazz, people sometimes say it's "my thing" or something like that, and dun question it.

That's how I like it.

I dun want the wrong people digging into my brain, and quite frankly, I'm happy acting the way I'm doing. I like acting like a derp and doing what I please and knowing that my friends like me for it, the same way I like them for what they do.

When I get emotionally stressed, whatever the cause may be, I always try my best to shut them out, cause that's how I've always dealt with them.

I (subconsciously) tried to show all the emotions that trouble me when I was a smol child, but that usually got me in trouble.

Once a teacher yelled at me for crying in third grade.
Once a teacher said good when someone told her I was crying in second grade.
Once a classmate tried to time how long I cried one year, and even said "She's still crying?"

That's not the reason why I still shut it out. It's only the reason why I started.

People say it's unhealthy, but honestly, shutting those negative feelings out was one of the best thing that happened to me. It gave me more chances to feel happy, joyous, and it helped me stay optimistic.

Sometimes it gets too far, though.

Last year at band, I was bothered - really bothered by some family stuff going down. I tried to hide it, but my friends in the band knew something was up. They tried to help me out, but I was still trying to hold it in, even after it was obvious what the problem was. I thought it was time to start letting more emotions that trouble me out as time goes by, but honestly, nothing really changed. I still hide a lot of things.

But that's okay. I'm happy, and I'm making other people happy. That's what I want to be known for.

I still have MANY years to go, but when I die, I want my funeral to be on a sunny day, bright flowers, light instrumental cherry music, and I want to be in the casket with a small smile on my face before I'm either buried or get turned into ashes. I want it to remind people to remember me as a happy person and keep on smiling.

~~~~~~~

IMMA TALK LIKE A DERP NOW CAUSE I CAN'T SLEEP XD

SO I think mah mom dun have work tomorrow, and there's a uniform thingy or something for marching band tomorrow, so I wanna see if I could get a sim card for mah mom's old phone at walmart if they have any :3

If mah older brother wants the phone though, Imma let him have it, cause he's older than me and still aint got now phone in general, but then again, he aint a big fan of apple products, so I have a chance of getting it B3

And I kiinda wanta play Pokemon Go, but hopefully I won't get too addicted *coughlikeafewpeoplewhoquittheirjobjusttofindpokemoncough*

AND THEY'RE WORKING ON HARRY POTTER GO WHICH IS GREAT CAUSE I'M IN THAT PHASE

The phone is cracked, but eh, it aint that bad. It's just the top :3

That's actually why she got a new phone XD

But it makes sense tho, cause it's cracked near where the ear goes when you chat, and she likes to call her (seemingly countless) friends :3

(Legit, I can't keep track of how many friends she has XD)

ANYWAYS I could use tape to keep the cracked part safe, and I can deal with it cause I wasn't the one who made it (cause I would feel guilty if I cracked it myself XD)

I WANTA GO TO WALMART STOOPID BRAIN STAPH GETTING ME EXCITED I HAFTA SLEEEPPP

I failed at summer homework again XD

IMMA TRY TO OBJECT TOMORROW OR SOMETHING

Or when mah mom has work, cause then I can't go anywhere XD

"Stats for nerds"

Y tho XD