There are several things going down, and this is probably the thing I'm the least worried about compared to the rest, but I'm gonna rant about it because I kept thinking about it and I want mah brain to think about something more useful than this~

So, I've had this same crush since about the middle of seventh grade, and it doesn't go away

But my logic keeps switching whether or not it's possible or not

Cause in the beginning of the school year, I thought "yeah, this could work out. He said that most of his grades are about 97, and he's a decent guy and all that"

But lately he's been derping up some school stuff, like not making the first quarter honor roll and making more than one wrong answer in class, and not seeming to be bothered by it, and I believe grades and knowledge are some things you should care about?

So right now I don't want this crushy-feeling on him?

Heck, I'm not even allowed to date yet, and I have no intentions of doing that kind of stuff anytime soon, so keep that in mind.

But he's also kind of a derp, and has about as much seriousness as me when it comes to different things as far as I picked up, like how he's actually being forced to go to Winter Formal and his "date" actually promised to kill him if he wore an ugly sweater -_- And he doesn't care about the formal either
(You would think that you'd like your date to actually care about something like this as much as you do??)

A lot of things that he has are a lot of things that "attract" me, I guess you would say, but taking school seriously is something that I value heavily??

And there were other things that made me question myself, but I also can't say that I know him cause I think the last time we've had an actual face-to-face conversation was last year when we ended up as partners for a Spanish activity thingy, but that was kinda fun tho...

Again, I do not want to get into a relationship anytime soon, but I'm still gonna rant about this XD

I guess one of the things that kept this crushy-thing with me all this time is the fact that whenever I ended up in some sort of group with him, I didn't feel all stressed or worried like I did with my previous/first hardcore crush *cringe*. I felt calm and chilled

Also, I caught him flirting with me several times in seventh grade, so I'm almost sure that he at least used to like me. Whether or not he still does, I have no idea XD

This year he also apologized for things he didn't do, like when a different dude accidentally kicked me in gym when he was aiming for him when doing "team building" exercises, he apologized before the guy who actually kicked me did XD

I don't remember if the guy who kicked me did apologize or not, but it didn't really hurt, it just spooped me X3

Eehhh, I feel like a ten year old complaining about how her crush doesn't talk to her but does nothing to start a conversation in the first place X,D

But I wanted to rant about it cause this kind of stuff is stopping me from doing useful things like working on outlines for mah stories and that jaaazzzzzzzz

I have a feeling that if I actually had a legitimate conversation with him, a lot of this wouldn't bother me no more, and talking is different from actually getting involved, but I'm too awkward to actually start one XD