Although it has been more than a month since I've come to this island, for some reason I just couldn't the shake this feeling that I had to do something. So once again, I opened my eyes, immediately sitting up from this cozy bed, gently uncovering my lower body with the blanket.

Bilog ang buwan sa ilabas ng bintana, mahangin din at marami ang mga bituin. It was such a beautiful sight, yet there was that feeling of loneliness blending in. What is this, I wonder. Pakiramdam ko naghahalo-halo na ang mga emosyon ko. I used to believe coming here would finally satisfy me, but it didn't. Mas marami pa ang nabuong mga katanungan sa isipan ko. And in the first placw, bakit ko naman ba talagang naisipang pumunta dito?

Looking outside, it told me na nasa kalagitnaan na ng gabi ang oras, sa mga panahong ito ay dapat natutulog na ako. Pero hindi talaga ako makatulog. Kaya pinatong ko ang mga walang takip kong paa sa malamig na sahig, at nang tumayo ako, the sound of the floor creaking made me shiver.

Ayaw ko kasing magising si Caelesti na nasa kabilang kwarto lang, because she's really sensitive at kaonting tunog lang ay naaalarma na siya. I don't want to bother her at all. Naisipan kong lumbas ng bahay para magpahangin, hoping I could finally get drowsy.

Opening the door, I met nothing but the lingering darkness. Only the moonlight shone upon the window through the corner served as my light to find my way. Dahan-dahan kong isinara ang pintuan sa likuran ko at nagsimula nang maglakad papunta sa may sala.

But then I immediately stopped. On the corner of the wall towards the kitchen, may nakita akong mga pigura. Shadows formed the floor, they were moving. I frowned, sino sila? Bakit nandito sila? Is Caelesti even aware of it? Natatakot ako. Hindi para sa sarili ko, kung hindi para sa kaniya. Alam ko namang mas malakas si Caelesti sa akin at tiyak na maproprotektahan niya ang sarili niya, but for once I want to do something for her.

"Why do I feel that sometimes it's as though you don't love me anymore?" My eyes widened for a moment, boses ito na nagmumula sa isang lalaki. Sino ang kinakausap niya?

"I'm sorry." I could barely recognize the voice, it sounded so sincere, filled with unpredictable emotions.

Followed by a bitter chuckle, with pain and sadness all mixed together, the man replied, "you're not even denying it huh?" He then let out a sigh, forcing himself to understand. "Why didn't you say so from the very beginning?"

"Perhaps you could say I was waiting for you to feel cornered."

"Cornered? You mean...kung paano ngayon sumasakit ang lalamunan ko pababa sa puso ko at kung paano parang nanghihina ang buong sistema ko sa tuwing bumago na ang tingin mo sa akin gamit ang mga mala-langit mong mga mata?"

"And the way your heart feels like it's begging to be freed from too much suffocation I'm bringing it."

"Is that your way of telling me to let go?" But only silence answered his question. "Why don't you let me go yourself?"

"I don't want to."

"Why?"

"I choose to spare you from too much pain. So, you can let go. I won't hold you back."

"You do know you're pretty much inflicting too much damage right now, right?"

"That's why I'm asking you to stop being with me."

"But..." the man trailed off, almost hesitating. "I love you. So much."

"I did too." I let out a small gasp, hindi ko na alam kung ano ang pinag-uusapan nila at hindi ko din ito gustong maintindihan. Pakiramdam ko kasi dapat hindi ko ito naririnig.

"For you to be this considerate...may nararamdaman ka pa ba sa akin? Kung meron pa, huwag mo pa sana akong piliting bitawan ka."

"What I feel for you is neither love nor care, you could say it's out of pity." Damn, she's harsh. Kahit sino naman ang sasabihan ng ganoon ay tiyak na masasaktan.

"You sure are blunt." He laughed, bitterly. "But I guess I can't say I dislike that side of you." Nakita ko sa shadow niya kung paano siya tumayo at mukhang mas lumapit pa sa kinakausap. "And if you really pity me, then bakit hindi mo nalang pinalitan ang nararamdaman ko sa'yo?"

"I didn't want you to hate me."

"You manipulate emotions, how can that be? Even right now...you're making me hate you."

"I feel like doing so at the moment."

"Do you hate me?"

"I do."

"Ha...I...I expected that." There was a lomg silence that followed. "But I was hoping you wouldn't say it."

Hindi ko talaga maintindihan. She didn't want him to hatw her but she hates him instead? Ano ba ang pinapamukha niya s amga sinasabi niya? Gusto niyang bumitaw ang lalaki sa kanilang dalawa dahil ayaw niyang masaktan siya kung siya mismo ang bumitaw. It's complicated, and I don't like it.

Humakbang ako palapit s akung saan sila nag-uusap. Halos wala akong naririnig sa bawat hakbang ng mga paa ko kaya sigurado akong hindi nila ako makikita o mapapansin manlang. Hanggang sa bahagya akong napatigil nang may kung sinong kumapit sa akin sa balikat ko.

I gulped before turning around at nakita si Ellise, ibubuka ko na sana ang bunganga ko para magsalita nang inilagay niya ang isang daliri sa bibig niya, telling me to keep quiet. I nodded as she let go. Tinuro niya ang pintuan palabas ng bahay, then she walked towards it, and urging me to follow, I forced myself to do so.

Patuloy lamg kami sa paglalakad kahit nasa labas na kami, kedyo malayo-layo narin sa munting bahay ni Caelesti. Looking from this distance, mukhang maliit nga talaga ito but it was completely different on the inside. Napunta ulit ang tingin ko kah Ellise na hindi nagsasalita sa unahan ko. Seryoso ang mukha niya kahit hindi ko man ito nakikita.

Maliwanag ang buwan ngayon, I was so sure that it was several minutes passed midnight. The air is cool against my fair skin, marami din ang butuin sa kalangitan. Habang sa kanila ang atensyon ko ay hindi ko mapigilang isipin kung totoo ngabang magkakatotoo lamang ang hiling mo kung nakakuha ka ng bituin.

It's a weird belief, I know, I thought so too. But beliefs are there to calm our curious minds. They exists for us to believe them without even knowing if they're the truth or not. Tulad nalang ng mga bituin na ito. Nandiyan nga sila pero hindi naman sila maabot. Sometimes I wonder if I could stop gravity myself and pull them toward my palm, sa ganoong paraan ay matutupad narin ang hiling ko para kay Caelesti, na makalaya na siya sa paghihirap ng mundong ito.

But it is a wishful thinking, it's always that way. We live in a world of magic but still, nothing seems easy. Fairy tales and magic should be one, for they are said to bring happiness, but it makes me laugh. Happiness? Isn't that just one of those beliefs?

Huli na nang namalayan kong nasa tabi ng pala kami ng dagat lumalakad ni Ellise. The waves continued slapping the sand whenever it gets near, kaya napapatalsik talaga ang kaonting tubig sa paa ko. The water is cold, but it wasn't freezing, it only became one when the cool breeze accompanied it.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" Tanong ni Ellise, finally breaking the silence.

"You're seriously asking me that now that you took me here?"

"Wala akong sinabing sumama ka."

"Wala nga, but you looked at me as if I needed to." Ngumiti siya sa direksyon ko matapos kong sabihin iyon.

"You're...you're a lot like her...mostly, but not all of her." Nagtaka tuloy ako sa sinabi niya.

"If you mean 'her', then I don't know how you arrived at that conclusion."

"Hindi mo ba tatanungin kung bakit?"

"You mean you're going to tell me anyway but just waiting for me to ask?" She's hesitating. Ang gulo niya.

"Then I won't tell you." Ha, pinaglalaruan niya ba ako? "I don't know why you're still alove at this point knowing Caelesti, but I think I can see why."

"Why?"

"Now you're asking me."

"If you don't want to tell me then don't."

"Fine. Hindi ko nalamg sasabihin." Tss, iniinis niya ako. Pero hindi din naman ako mapilit kaya hinayaan ko nalang siya. In the first place, why would she even bring me here?

Tumigil muna ako sa paglalakad, bawat buhangin na nadadaanan ng mga paa ko ay may mga naiiwang bakas. I gazed up to that distant moon, and I can't help myself but to think how peaceful this night is. Even birds feel like telling me so as they pass by.

Natigilan din si Ellise at sinundan kung saan ako nakatingin ngayon. Kumunot lamang ang kaniyang noo dahil dito. Hindi ko din maintindihan ang babaeng ito. All of us are in this place together yet...we all feel the same kind of loneliness. We feel like there aren't really anyone but our own selves. It's a vexing feeling. At least that's what I thought while looking at this beautiful sight.

"Do you hate this place?" I closed my eyes after hearing Ellise's question, feeling the air against my face.

"I know I should be...but I can't bring myself to hate it."

"You said the exact words as she once did." So we're back at talking about her again huh? "Pero hindi ko magawang maintindihan kung bakit. We don't find this place lovely at all, dahil ito ang kumukulong sa kaniya, ito ang nagpapahirap sa kaniya, dahil sa galit ng bawat tao sa mundong ito ito ay nabuo ang Mávro Isle. Kaya sabihin mo kung bakit."

"Why?" I actually thought about it. "Hindi ko din alam. Bakit ngaba? But I just...feel as if this place is some sort of protection from the rest of the world. I think I can understand why she doesn't hate it."

"Sometimes she's just too strange. Walang nakakaalam kung ano ang laman ng isipan niya sa kaytagal ko na sa tabi niya. Sa tabi niya nga kaming lahat para sa kaniya but at the same time we don't really feel like we're that close to her. May sarili siyang mundo na kahit sino ay walang makakapasok."

I don't know about Ellise's opinion but looking at the way I see her, I think she doesn't deliberately closes her heart. Wala lang talagang nakakakita at nakakaintindi dito kaya akla ng lahat ay sarado itp, walanh nakakaalam na kahit ilang beses niya man ito iparamdam at ipakita ay paramg mga bulag parin talaga ang iba. So she's just keeping everything to herself, bottling it all up.

"Aren't you supposed to kill her?" Mukhang nagulat siya sa tanong ko dahil hindi siya nakasagot. Kaya binuksan ko ulit ang mga mata ko at tumingin sa direksyon niyang nakatingin sa kain ngayon.

"She's been telling you?" She smiled with relief. "That's a first. Not only you're a stranger, but someone she confides in with her stories."

"Envious?"

"No. I'm satisfied."

"I see."

"Killing her was my option, deciding to come with her was my own decision, but wanting to protect her? I don't know. I just realized one day that I had to do that even at the cost of my life." She sighed. "You mightt think na siya mismo ang bumigay sa akin ng emosyong ito, pati siya ganoon din ang paniniwala, that she gave us all these emotions for us to stay until the end."

"And she didn't?"

"She didn't. Malay ko sa iba pero alam kong akin ang emosyon na ito, at hindi nagmula sa ability niya."

"But she doesn't trust even herself."

"Exactly. So I want her to trust us instead. Pero kanina...alam kong narinig mo ang pinag-usapan nila. She's starting to change. If before she wouldn't care about everything else and just wait by the sidelines, ngayon iba na."

"Ano ang ibig mong sabihin?"

"She's an unpredictable woman. Walang nakakaalam kung ano ba talaga ang habol niya sa mga inuutos niya sa aming gagawin. But she's stopped giving misisons, she's stopped sending monsters outside of this island, she's stopped doing everything."

"You're not saying she gave up, right?"

"At this point, I don't even know anymore. Ang alam ko lang ay dito mangyayari ang lahat, at natatakot ako para sa kaniya. She can't use her full potential inside this cage, at dito pa noya balak tapusin ang sinimulan niya?"

"I don't understand."

"Of course you won't." She smiled at me, wala itong ibig sabihin. "But we'll probably die before her...just like the rest ended up." Ibinalik niya ang tingin niya sa bilog na buwan sa unahan. "We don't want her to be alone, so we may not trust you, but we knew we have to. Kaya ikaw na ang bahala sa kaniya kung mangyari nga iyon."

"You're accepting your death like it's nothing."

"Compared to her pain, it is nothing."

"What drove you to such extent for her? Even though you knew she doesn't need any of your help." Magagawa ng babaeng iyon ang lahat kung gugustuhin niya, tiyak na alam nilang lahat ito.

"Tama ka nga, compared to her strength, we're nothing." Kinuha niya ang katana niya na nakasabit sa beywang niya at mahigpit itong hinawakan. "But that feeling just came over us, it won't go away."

"Feeling?"

"Feeling that no matter how powerless you are, you still want to help anyway." She then swung her weapon around as if stretching her arm. "Pero siguro nakokonsensya lang ako sa mga nagawa ko sa kaniya noon na gusto ko siyang tulungan ngayon, gustuhin niya man o hindi." She did want to kill her before, paano ngaba ito nagbago?

"Now that you've mentioned it...naiintindihan ko ito." Dahil pareho lang naman kami sa nararamdaman ukol dito. "I want to protect her." Pero sino ba naman ako diba? No hindi ko nga kilala ang sarili ko. Nagulat ako nang tinutok niya nalang sa akin ang hawak niyang katana, seryoso na naman ngayon ang mukha niya.

"Spar with me. Show me your real strength. Show me everything you have if you really wish to protect her."

"I don't know how." Tumaas ang isang kilay noya dahil sa sinabi ko, kaya napangiti ako ng kaonti. "I don't know if I'm a mage, an alchmist, an ability user, or an assassin. Hindi ko kilala ang sarili ko."

"Then how will you protect her?" Tumama talaga sa akin ang mga salitang iyon.

Paano ko siga maproprotektahan kung hindi ko kilala ang sarili ko? Nasasaktan lamang ako sa tuwing iniisip ko ito. Hindi ako makasagot sa sinabi niya at napabuntong-hininga na lamang. May pilit lang talagang nagsasabi sa akin na dapat kong protektahan at palayain ang babaeng iyon, kahit ako ay hindi ko din maintindihan kung bakit.

"I...don't know." Mahina na ba ako sa tingin niya? Karapat-dapat ba akong umapak sa lugar na kinaiinisan nila? Here they hold power and seek freedom from this island, pero ako ba, anong ginagawa ko dito? Because I was curious about her? Isn't that just an act of immaturity?

"I absolutely hate people like you." She muttered, enough for me to hear. Sa akin parin nakatuon ang hawak niyang katana, wala yata siyang planong ibaba ito. "You want to know more about her? Then what? What will you do? Don't make her like a mere storyteller who satisfies your lust of curiosity! Don't think of her like the most powerful person in this world! Tao din siya, nasasaktan din siya. That pressure of being locked in here...that pain of not being able to step out of this island..."

Kahit wala man akong ability na makakaramdam ng emosyon ay halatang-halata ko parin ang sobrnag galit niya. Sa una hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit siya nagagalit, pero ngayon alam ko na. She's angry at being how inconsiderate I am, she's hating me for my aimless curiosity, she doesn't like the way I go on around telling I'll protect her when I'm this weak. It's like I'm insulting everyone dahil malapit ako sa kaniya pero wala parin talaga akong maintindihan sa lahat ng ito.

"I...I'm serious. I really want to—" hindi ko na natapos ang sasabihin ko nang may tumutulo na palang dugo mula sa gilid ng leeg.

Her katana has grazed the edge of my skin, hindi ito malalim pero masakit parin at mahapdi, lalo na at nadadaanan ito ng malamig na hangin. May mga dugo ding naounta sa mahaba kong buhok, and I could tell she's really serious about wanting to test me. No hindi ko manlang nakita siyang lumapit sa akin dahil sa bilis niya, just how strong is she?

Napahawak ako sa leeg ko para matigil ang pagturo ng dugo, I hissed in pain. Her eyes continued to shoot me me with her sharp glares, nakakatakot ito pero hindi ako naaaninag sa kaniya. Binalik ko ang tingin niya na may halong determinasyon.

"Prove it to me." Humakbang ulit siya, kaya ngayon nakadikit na naman ang katana niya sa dibdib ko. She will never hesitate to kill me.

"I will." My heart started racing when she pushed the weapon slowly deep into my flesh.

What I feel isn't fear....

Excitement.

Anticipation.

Kailan ba ako nakaramdam ng mga ganito? Almost as if ignoring the pain, I stepped forward. Medyo naging malalim na ang nadatnan ng katana sa katawan ko. I feel like my whole body is in pain, my legs feel awfully weak na pakiramdam ko matutumba na ako. He pain is making me feel numb, ramdam ko talaga ang katana sa dibdib ko habang patuloy niya itong pinasok. I cough. Blood started flowing out of my lips, ang sakit nito.

"That's enough, Ellise." Tumayo ang lahat ng balahibo sa katawan ko nang narinig ko ang boses niya.

The earlier emotions were changed into fear, siya nga lang talaga ang makakbigay sa akin ng ganitong emosyon. Natatakot na ako marinig ko lamang ang boses niya. Halos hindi ko na maramdaman ang sakit dahil sa takot. I'm not scared of the fact that she's powerful, I'm scared of the fact that she might think I'm too weak because I couldn't handle this.

"This is surprising, you'd usually just watch by the sidelines." Mas ibinaon niya ang katana sa dibdib ko at mas napaubo ako ng dugo at pinilit na lamang tumayo.

"Ellise." Seryoso ang boses niya, nagagalit ba siya?

Nagpalabas ng malalim na hininga si Ellise bago niya hinugot ang katana niya at binalik sa lalagyan nito sa gilid ng beywang niya. The moment she took her weapon off my chest, parang nakahinga ako ng maluwag at parang nawala rin ang buong lakas ng katawan ko. Before I could fall though, I feel something warm grab my back, preventing my fall.

"Go." Utos niya kay Ellise. Tinignan muna niya ako bago nawala sa paningin ko na parang bula. "Seriously going against her? You know you do not stand a chance." She's really blunt. Hinawakan niya ang parte ng dibdib ko kung saan ako nasaksak at ramdam ko na naman ang dumadaloy niyang enerhiya. The way she heals is really amazing and pleasant, that I feel like I'm drifting back to sleep.

"I—I deserved it." Hirap kong salita at napaluhod siya sa lupa at hiniga ako sa hita niya.

Kung hindi ginawa ni Ellise iyon ay hindi ako magiging sa katotohanan na mahina akong tao, na hindi ko kayang protektahan ang babaeng nasa unahan ko ngayon. She smell nice, her face being this close to me...I could almost reach it. But then again, I feel like I'm looking to my own reflection.

"Hey..." tawag ko sa kaniya, but she's too focused on healing me. "Why didn't you just kill me? Why let me live? Why—"

"Silence. The wound isn't critical, but you need to stay still."

"You're worried?" I chuckled, lightly though.

"Am I?"

"You do seem like you are." Kahit hindi niya man ito aminin. "Am I bringing you emotions?"

"Who knows."

"Bakit hindi mo nalang ako sagutin ng derecho?" Hindi niya pinilinh sumagot sa tanong ko. "Alam mo kung sino talaga ako, hindi ba?" Dahil ito siguro ang rason kung bakit hindi niya na ako pinatay. She knows my real identity na kahit ako ay hindi alam ito. She's keeping quiet about it, but I do trust my intuitions.

"I do."

"Tell me. Tell me who I am to you."

There was a long defeaning silence before she opened her mouth but closed it again. She's hesitating? This is new. The sound of the waves accompanied the silence, the passing breeze, the rolling sands, all of those echoed deep in my mind...

Along with her words, her voice whispered...

"You're my death."