Growing Pains

"So the circles before the school is the barrier?" Tanong ni Yazmina as Headmistress nodded.

Bumalik na ang mga grupo sa loob ng office matapos ang isang oras na pagdedesisyon nila kung sino ang sasama. Some are still a little uncertain, after all, we're the pawns in this game.

As for me...I don't know. Hindi ko alam kung ano ba talaga dapat ang mararamdaman ko. I just...can't believe it. I feel numb at hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili ko. It's easy for me to understand people's emotions pero pagdating sa akin, hindi ko na alam. I'm sad, masakit dito sa puso. Is this what they call 'heartbroken'? That feeling of being betrayed. Nagagalit din ako, and right now I feel that urge of wanting to beat that guy. I believed him. Every single words he said, I believed them without doubts. Pero sinasabi nilang kasinungalingan lang pala ang lahat?

I clenched my fists. Sisiguraduhin ko talagang mahahanap ko siya. I will bring him back here without fail. And doing so would mean na kailangan kong sumali sa labanang ito, a battle that doesn't have anything to do with me. Pero ngayon meron na. Hoy was one of the most important person for me. I have been betrayed by my family, and even someone like him. Just how twisted and unfair is this world?

I sighed and focused on the map laid on the table na ngayon ay pinalilibutan nila. The only ones here are the SC and the leaders of the other four groups. The Headmistress already had the list of the students coming. And as I watch her scanning through those papers, I could feel her regrets. Well Council's orders are orders, wala soyang magagawa dun. Plus, she can't just go there herself. Isa siyang Saint, at hindi siya pwedeng umalis ng North, dahil walang nakakaalam kung kailan na naman aatake ang clan. Then there comes the Exodus.

"Then we just go straigh through their opening? This is suicide." Vlein muttered.

"Then may mabuti ka bang plano?" Tanong ni Mike.

Everyone went quiet. Wala silang ni isang plano dahil isa lang naman talaga ang entrance. The other opening was left for the South and West. We can't go to other territories para lang doon dumaan. At isa pa, kahit saan din naman kami dadaan halata namang doon ang kalaban babantay. Obviously it's a trap, and they know it. Kaya hindi nila gusto mabawasan ang forces ng Knights dahil lang sa traps na ito, that's why they're sacrificing students instead.

"I don't want to die before I could even get to the center." I said and that got everyone's attention. "I have a plan."

"And can we even trust that plan of yours?" Mike asked, partly mocking me. I can't blame them for not trusting me. After all, isa lamang akong outsider dito. Unlike them, I have a specific goal in mind kung bakit ako sasali sa labang ito. For them, it's just an order.

"I rather work with her plans than anyone here." Sabi ni Iyana. I smiled. I owe her for backing me up.

"Careful though, her plans may be just as twisted." Thane said with a smirk. Ah, hindi parin siya maka get-over sa nangyaring pagpa-plano sa operation capture the blacks.

"Let's hear it." President nodded at me.

"Taking your abilities into consideration, we're coming in with different groups."

"Ibig bang sabihin paghahaluin kami? We're not going with our own group?" I nodded at Yazmina's question.

"Nagkakaproblema na nga tayo sa teamwork, and you expect us to work with diffent people?"

"Mike! Makinig ka nga muna." Yazmina scolded him. May punto naman siya sa sinabi niya. Cooperation and teamwork are vitals in this plan, magiging mahirap 'to kung hindi sila magtutulong-tulongan.

"Unang-una, we need the first group, the baits. Ang unang grupo nito ay ang unang susugod sa kalaban. That mean they have to purposely fall for their traps."

"What?! Nababaliw ka na ba? That means ang unang grupo ang unang mamamatay?!" Mike Thompson is annoying, pero tama na naman ulit ang sinabi niya.

"Let me finish." I heard him sigh. "All the first group must have defensive abilities. Ang unang grupo nito ay hahatiin sa limang teams. Dahil din yun sa dami ng posibilidad na bilang ng kalaban."

"Defensive abilities huh? Marami sa grupo ko amg may ganoon." Yazmina said.

"Mine too. Then Yazmina's people and mine will take care of the first group. We'll break it down in five teams with seven people each." Hanzel said supporting Yazmina.

"Then the second group. The vanguards. While the enemy is busy dealing with the defences of the first group, diyan ang ikalawang grupo dadating."

"Then you're saying, since ang abilities ng unang grupo ay defences, it will reduce the enemy's energy greatly dahil wala din namang magagawa ang mga atake nila sa unang grupo. Tapos dadating ang ikalawang grupo. Their job is to finish the enemies then since they are the vanguards." Thane said narrowing the plan down. Tumango ako sa mga sinabi niya.

"This time, it would be seven teams with five people. Once they arrive at the scene, the first group will immediately change to attacking the enemies, they will help reduce the enemy's forces. Assuming the plan is going well, the third group will block the only paths for reinforcements, surrounding the area and preventing the enemies to retreat. Five teams with seven people is necessary."

"Hmm...then mas makakatulong kung may isang medical specialist sa bawat teams." Freya suggested and others agreed.

"Then we'll go with that. Ang ikaapat na grupo naman ay magiging standby. The borders between the East and North, we'll make it our base. Kung hindi gagana ang plano, may posibilidad na aatake na naman ang kalaban sa North, that's why the fourth group will be on standby. They will send reinforcements too if things go well."

"What of things don't go well?" Tanong ni Freya, looking at me. They all did.

"Kung halata nang hindi gumagana ang plano, the fourth group will not send reinforcements and the rest of the groups will retreat." Marami ang nagulat sa sinabi ko. I felt annoyance and anger from some, ang iba disappointed sa plano. I sighed again. I don't have time to worry about their lives. This plan has to succeed, if not, wala na akong magagawa dun.

"Not send reinforcements?! Paano kung hindi makatakas ang ibang grupo?"

"Then they either get captured...or die." I shifted my head to the right nang maabutan ko ang paparating na kamo ni Yazmina.

Her fist sank to the wall at nag crack ito. Siguradong mawawalan talaga akonng malay kung tinama ako ng suntok na iyon. I could see Yazmina's glaring eyes in front of me as she pulled out her fist na dumugo na dahil sa lakas ng sintok niya sa pader.

"I'm starting to hate you."

"If your members will die then that simply means they're incompetent enough to live."

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mga pinagsasabi ko. Words just...kept running out of my mouth. She has rights to be angry. Mga kaibigan niya ang mga mamatay just because of this plan. And what I said is heartless pero totoo naman. If one dies, ibig lang sabihin nun ay hindi niya na kaya mabuhay.

"Ikaw...sumusobra ka na!" Mike summoned his weapons.

It was a boomerang with spikes at its edges. Kasabay nang pagtapon niya ay ang pagtapon din ni Yazmina ng shurikens, but unlike normal shurikens, mas malaki ang sa kaniya. Darn. I can't dodge. So I have no choice but to catch them. Everyhing went slow motion after that. And before I knew it, Andrea caught the boomerang with her hand, as Iyana let out her magnum gun at binaril ang paparating na shuriken. As a result, the shuriken hit the wall at the corner. Nangyari ang lahat ng ito sa ilang segundo lamang.

"Are you trying to kill her?" Tanong ni Andrea with a serious voice.

"I might just aim this gun at different direction." Sabi naman ni Iyana as she pointed her magnum gun at the two. Yazmina and Mike made their weapons disappeared. I sighed in relief. The two glared at me one last time before going back to their seats.

"Let her finish before you make your decissions." Andrea then sighed before going back to her seat. That was a huge relief.

"If the plan fails and the fourth group would send reinforcements, mas marami lamang ang mamamatay. Plus, sending reinforcements when the plan's already failed is a huge risk. Kung mauubos lang pati ang fourth group, mas magiging madali lang sa kalaban makapasok sa borders." I explained. "Kaya mas mabuti pa ang planong ito than let more die. Do you understand?" Everyone nodded. Ngayon naiintindihan na nila. Naiintindihan nila pero hindi parin sila sangayon. Well, it's just a suggestion. Kung may mas maganda silang plano, then they're free to open up. But base on the situation, wala nang mas magandang plano.

"Headmistress, what can you say?" Tanong ni President. Even the Headmistress is having doubts about the plan. But she knows this is the most effective way.

"We'll go by the plan." What she said surprised some who doesn't agree. Well, only the SC seems to agree to the plan.

"Tsk. If the Headmistress said so, then fine. Hanzel and I will sort out the first group." Yazmina finally agreed.

"I'll take care of sorting the vanguards." Freya said. "Mike, I'm borrowing some of your people too."

"Ugh fine. Wala din naman akong magagawa."

"With how things are going, the remaining ones will be the fourth group." Wika ni Headmistress. "You have until tomorrow to finalise everything."

The plan is going well, or it will go well. Depende sa mga results ng gagawin nila sa bawat teams. Parang maayos na ang lahat pero parang may mali talaga eh. I'm overlooking something here.

Binalik ko ang tingin ko sa mapa na nakalagay sa lamesa. There are x and f marks on the map, and narrowing it down to the Eastern Territories, ang mga nasakop na lugar ay saktong nakapalibot talaga malapit sa borders ng South, West, at North.

Obviously entering the only entrance set by the enemy is a trap. And judging by the situation, the plan is indeed appropriate for this one. They could outnumber us with their numbers, or they are planning something for us, hindi ko alam. The plan will be a failure once the first group fails, kaya kailangan kong masigurado.

I need a team to scout the enemies beforehand. If we were to leave to the base the day after tomorrow, it'll be enough time to spectate the enemies. Pero sino ba ang alam konh may ability that can see through the enemies at far away? The ability of a marksman. I need a team of it that supports each other's abilities. Hmm pero sino?

Iyana's the best one for this scouting mission, but she'll be placed in a vanguard position. At isa pa, the scouting team can't participate in the war, they just have to scout and give information. So they must have the ability to defend and attack as well. And making Iyana as one is a huge waste of firepower and our force. Especially that the Knights can't join this one.

My eyes widened. Of course! Why haven't I thought of that team first? They're perfect for this scouting job than anyone else. The problem is that, hindi ko alam ang mga pangalan nila o ang mga mukha nila. All I know is that they're middle schoolers.

"You'll set out the day after tomorrow. I'll have Knights prepare the base on the borders right now. Then, dismissed!" Isa-isa nang lumabas ang mga nandito and the small chatterings died out as the door was closed shut. Ang naiwan lang dito ay ako, si Andrea, at Iyana..ah then Thane.

"Bakit pa kayo nandito?" Tanong ko as I sat on the couch. Kanina pa ako tayo ng tayo.

"I could ask the same thing about you." Andrea looked at me.

"You're still planning something." Thane said sitting in front of me.

Ah naging kasama lang nila ako sa mga ibang pangyayari alam na nila ang mga iniisip ko. Am I that predictable? Gusto kong sabihan si Headmistress muna nito but guess I have no choice but to let them know as well. And so, I told them that I'll be needing a scouting team at kung bakit.

"A team of spies huh?" Thane muttered crossing his arms. "Wouldn't Iyana alone suffice for the job?"

"I've already considered it. Pero may alam na ako."

"True. Iyana's more suited in the second group." Headmistresss said.

"Sino ba ang iniisip mo?" Andrea asked.

"Remember that three first years sa ikatatlong category sa main event?" Tumango silang dalawa.

"So it's them after all." Sabi naman ni Iyana.

"It turns out mga middle schooler lamang sila, they completely changed their whole appearance."

"Middle schooler? I won't allow it." Headmistress disagreed. No surprise there. She can't let anymore students get involved.

"I need them Headmistress." I said back quickly. "Importante ang scouting team than any other groups. I don't see any students who match the way they support each other."

"I'm already having trouble making some parents cooperate." Sino ba naman ang makakampante lang kung sarili mong anak may posibilidad na mamatay sa mission na ito? "And you expect me to let middle schoolers in such an age to participate in that war?"

"They won't participate. They'll be the spectators. I'm coming with them. That should be enough." Nilagay niya ang kamay niya sa ilalim ng chin niya, closing her eyes as if thinking.

"I still can't allow—"

"Sasama ako sa kanila. That's more than enough to protect them." Andrea suddenly interrupted her mother.

"Headmistress, I think you should trust Keila in this one." Even Thane was backing me up now, usually kasi palagi siyang nasa side ng babaeng 'to.

"Hmm if you're that persistent then I will allow it. Pero pinagbabawalan ko kayong pilitin sila kung ayaw nila. It's only natural for them to refuse." We all nodded. "You're dismissed."

They all started walking out and when I was about to grab the doorknob, tinawag ako ni Headmistress. I turned around pero hindi siya nakatingin sa akin, nakatingin lang siya sa bintana sa labas.

"Ke'ala," she called out again. "Please take care of her." Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya but after a few moments, I nodded.

Thane closed the door at lumabas na kami sa office. We've been there for two hours already, at hindi pa ako nakakain ng breakfast. But there are things I need to take care first. Kailangan kong bumalik sa Academy. First of all, I need to find them, secondly I have to make them agree to the job. I need them to accomplish this mission.

Thane used his teleportation kaya nakabalik na kami sa Academy. Madali nga talaga ang pamumuhay ni Thane sa ability niya. Not only he can do it when he pleases, it just doesn't require as much as energy as Iyana's.

Soon we found ourselves in the middle school department. Kung sa high school ay 16 to 19, ang middle school naman ay 12 to 15 ang ranges ng ages na kailangan, while elementary department is below that. If you've finished high school, there's still that one-to-three-year quest na kailangan mong makompleto para maka fully-graduate ka. Few students fail at that part and either get a new mission or just basically drop-out.

My point it, iba lang talaga ang school system ng islang ito. I had trouble understanting it first, but it seems like there's a logical explanation kung bakit ganito ang sistema. But I won't explain that now.

Andrea and Iyana teamed up at lumiko sa may kabilang hallway para magtanong-tanong since they are already aware of the abilities na meron ang mga hinahanap namin. As Thane and I went straight. Mahihirapan talaga kami nito. We don't have actual clues sa mga totoo nilang pagkatao other than their abilities. If they're famous around this area, then it's a different story.

May mga estudyante sa paligid with their blue long-sleeved uniform and blue skirt. I mean, tapos na siguro ang nga klase nila. After all, it's almost lunch time. So as a result as usual, marami ang nakatingin sa amin. Me being my 'ghostly self' and Thane being his 'so-called handsome-self'. Somehow, being with this guy still irritates me.

"What if we don't find them until tomorrow?" Biglaang tanong ni Thane. He's taking this seriously. Tomorrow's the finalisation of the plans after all.

"We will find them." Dahil may malaki akong pakiramdam na kailangan namin ang scouting team na ito.

"And what if they refuse? The horrors of the upcoming battle might get in the way of their future."

He pulled my head slowly and before I knew it, my head was on his lap. Anong ginagawa niya? Babangon na sana ako pero pigilan niya ako.

"I don't like doing this, so I'm doing you a favor. Now sleep."

I suddenly remembered him. That time nung nasa kweba kami back at Arizole. That was the first time...someone other than my family, even took care of me like that.

"Ke'ala, are you fine with it? Are you fine ruining their futures?"

"Sorry nga pala." Ha? Para saan? "Dahil sa akin nagkaroon ka pa ng sugat." Tapos tumingin siya sa akin. "Sorry din nang dahil sa akin napunta tayo sa sitwasyong to." Bigla kong kinurot ang mukha niya. "A-away! Taffa na nga." Binitwan ko ito nang pumula na.

"Huwag ka ngang mag sorry sory jan! Ikaw nga ang nagdala sa atin sa sitwasyong to kaya panagutan mo at dapat makalabas tayo dito." He nodded.

"Saying 'sorry' sometimes only means you're giving up without even trying anything first, so before you say ' sorry' you have to do your best first and prove that you can change everything with everything you got." Napangiti siya sa sinabi ko. Yun kasi ang sinasabi sa akin ni ate at kuya kapag palagi akong pumapalpak sa training nila.

"Because you can only say 'sorry' when you've done your best already and so, you can say 'sorry' with a smile."

Those were the times na nakulong kami sa malakimg barko ng mga pirata. Thinking about them still sparks a little anger inside me but... I don't know anymore. Why am I even remembering these things now? Thane was asling whether it's okay for me to ruin others' futures sa delikadong planong ito when certainly if we think about it, we could come up with tons of plans. But I'm doing this to ensure the highest probabilitu of survival. I'm doing these for the sake of living for those memories.

Sp even if it means ruining people's futures, I have to do this... to save those memories.

"What if the plan fails Ke'ala? Maraming buhay ang mamamatay."

"Hoy...kaya mo pa ba?" I asked. Pero alam ko naman kung ano ang isasagit niya, and I know he's going to lie.

"Y-yeah...I can manage somehow. Malapit na tayo sa boundary ng Magna Sea at ng isla. Once we passed the boundary, consider ourselves lucky." Malapit na nga, pero ilang minuto mo pa kailangang isakripisyo ang buhay mo?

That time...that time when we were being chased by pirates...wala akong magawa. I feel so useless and powerless na sa kaniya lang ako umasa. He saved my life many times, at siya din ang nagpakita sa akin ng maraming bagay. We did lots of things together only to end up being like this. So that's why I won't make the same mistake again.

"Okay lang ba talaga sayo yun?"

Something began to cloud the vision of my eye. My heary began throbbing again. I kept clenching my fists. I'm angry...but as well as I'm feeling very sad.

"Sorry...I'm—"

"No! You can't give up yet! You haven't even tried everything yet! Kaya hindi ka pa pwedeng sumuko!" Pilit kong sinasabi sa kaniya. He only smiled as he lift his hand to touch my face.

"Kung alam...mo lang..." He kept on coughing. "...kung gaano ka kahalaga sa akin. We only met and been together for few days or a week rather...but I never had so much fun in my life...so I don't even need to try anymore. Because what's there to try kung pinamuka na sa akin ng buong mundo na tama na." Umubo ulit siya. This time, it was blood. He needs to stop talking. He needs to rest.

"Na dapat....tumira din ako para sa sarili ko. I kept on trying and trying and never noticed the beauty behind every failures. And one of those beauty...is meeting you. Kaya tama na, because of you, I'm already satisfied. There's always something wonderful that awaits in every failures that we make." Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya na nakahawak sa mukha ko.

"I'm sorry.." He said with a smile forming his lips. "Now..I can say that word with a smile." I can feel his emotions. Hindi siya nakakaramdam ng lungkot, frustrations, disappointment, or regret, masaya lang siya. Yun lang ang nararamdaman niya ngayon. "Tell me your name..."

"Ke'ala..." I muttered that only he can hear. Hindi ko na marinig ang boses ko dahil sa sobrang sakit na nararamdaman ko. I feel like my heart would explode in a matter of seconds. Hindi ko kaya ang sakit. He only smiled. And that damn smile brought me another batch of pain.

"Ke'ala...I think I've fallen in love with you." My heart was again racing faster than usual.
Kanina lang sibrang sakit ng nararamdaman ko, but now, I can feel the mix emotions inside me. Pain, happiness...hindi ko na maintindihan.

I hate it. I was unable to do anything back then pero ngayon, may pagkakataon na akong mabalik siya. May pagkakataon na akong makita ulit siya. This I will tell him the words I was unable to let out before. Pero bakit ang sakit? I can't stop my heart from racing so fast and aching at the same time.

"Nakikinig ka ba?"

What if I ask him questions at malamang totoo nga na kasinungalingan lang ang lahat ng iyon? That all of those things he showed and told me were just part of a bigger plan. Anong gagawin ko kung mangyari yun? I could feel my heart already breaking in pieces...I can't handle it when that happens. I can't handle that pain!

"Ke'ala!"

I suddenly felt a hand grabbing me by my arm as Thane pulled me to the side of the halls kung saan walang dumadaan. Then he pushed me to the wall.

"Hindi ka ba talaga nakikinig o wala ka lang talagang pakealam sa buhay ng iba—" I look up and faced him...then he stopped talking.

Tears kept falling from my eye. Hindi ko namalayan na kanina pa pala ako umiiyak. I used my hand to wipe my tears away, but they just kept on falling one afer another. Nasasaktan ako dahil hindi ko alam ang gagawin.

"Alam kong maraming buhay ang posibleng mawala sa planong ito."

The plan may sound easy and might have sounded that it's a total success-guaranteed. Pero maraming loop holes at flaws sa planong ito that it only ensures the survival of the few. That's why we need the scouting team. Thane saw through this and backed me up kanina kay Headmistress. He saw through it that's why...he's pointing the facts.

"B-but Thane...I need to—see...him..." my breathing interrupts my words. Wala paring tigil ang mga luha ko. "I-I don't even understand...why I'm c-crying." He pulled me towards him and gently stroked my hair behind me. I could smell his scent...his warmth. I could only clench my fists but my tears remained flooding.

"Someone told me that rain falls because clouds can no longer handle its weight..." his voice changed, more pleasant...more soothing...

"...tears fall because our hearts can no longer handle the pain.."