Somewhere Along the Tune of Those Heartbeats

The morning was quiet, and strange as it may be, the tranquility was suffocating. Cold sweat trickled down my forehead, and my clothes were soaked with it. My heart was beating fast, and my eyes were warm with traces of liquids blurring the edges of my vision. I let out a heavy breath, running my palm on my face as strands of my black hair came into view when I let my arm down my side. The soft texture of the cushion behind should have made me comfortable, but mornings would always make me feel the same regardless. That feeling as though I was being chased, and my blood rushing as though being restless. I can't decipher the tightness of my chest as well, and an emotion kept stirring up deep inside me, one that I couldn't comprehend. 

"Memories...again." I mumbled, forcing my aching body up the bed. 

I stumbled on the bathroom, immediately turning the shower despite the nightdress I still had on. I felt the hot temperature that enveloped my body eventually decrease as the water rained from the source above. My skin flinched at the sudden contact of the cold, releasing my mind from its intense throbbing. I unknowingly let out an exasperated sigh, thinking about things that made my head ache in another wave of shooting pain just by remembering. 

It had been more than two weeks since that gathering, and had already been a month since the Endseeker appeared. By now, Exodus and Black Clan must have had already extracted the  power from the Pyramid which would let them open up a realm that could trap the Endseeker there. Though why not just let somebody claim the relic for it to activate rather than waste manpower to extract its power? Extracting is another way of forcing the relic to activate without the need of a holder. But knowing there is an on-going internal conflict between the Blacks and Ends, both wouldn't want anyone to take advantage of the relic's power. 

 According to the reports, the Endseeker was still asleep yesterday and would probably wake up tomorrow or who knows? Nobody could truly predict the time that entity would open its eyes. I had been also told how a number of Ends and the Blacks have been setting up bases underneath where the Endseeker is, so they are directly in the Fallen Empire of Leomer, as what newspapers and books call it now. 

With the help of Zyrendel Kingdom, most people have been evacuated out of Leomer, though naturally there would still be half of the citizens left. They can't really fully take all the people to safety, but this chance would surely widen Zyrendel's scope of reputation. Zyrendel already was a powerful nation, with Kion leading the top brass, I guess a lot would change in there and this opportunity would help. 

Though I wasn't surprise when I found out that organizations and groups from that meeting weeks ago were also helping, they did mention a temporary ceasefire until the Endseeker is eliminated. They've been practically setting up their bases as though making them their territories. They must be confident they can take out this Endseeker which basically almost ruined the world ages ago. Is it because they know they have the power of the relic on their side? Or is there something more?

I was already  in the middle of tying the laces of my boots when I heard a knock by the door. It was followed by another when I stood up. Grabbing the gray-coloured cloak hung unto the wall, I opened the door which smelt of oak as it creaked through the subtle surface of the floor. I wrapped the cloak around me, covering the white elbow-lengthened sleeves with a black leathered corset strapped around my stomach as though a plated armour. Tied on each sides were woven strings attached to the brown fitted pants I was wearing. 

"Have Finé returned?" I immediately questioned Silverrium the moment I saw him waiting outside the door. 

"I didn't think you would get out of your room." He stated, not exactly answering my question. I walked past him, our footsteps leaving silent thumping through the empty corridor. "You have been cooped up in there for three days now without food and water, you are neglecting your health."

"You sound like Lucis."

"He does worry about your health the most. Especially that he would need you today."

"Did he find another tourmaline?"

"He stayed up late with Ziandra digging those black gems up."

"The others?"

"Ellise was with the Dragonborne. For some reason, Astoria began showing interest in swordplay." He looked up, seeing the broken pieces of covers on the ceiling. "Aeryn has been away since yesterday, exploring the area, mapping together with the Guardian. While Theone and Millard have been fixing this old house up. It's truly a wonder how water's still working in this dead-beat place."

"And?"

"And Finé hasn't returned for the last two days. She has always been so keen at gathering information." 

I stopped, halting my steps before placing my hand over the railing by the staircase. "That's so like her." I continued walking down the stairs, each of our steps were careful as to not give unnecessary weight on the loose woods. "What were you up to, Silv?"

My eyes scanned the surroundings. The building dusts visible against the refracting rays of sunlight were also covering the old items laying around on the wooden floor. There were some unrecognizable paintings over the dull-drenched walls and the windows were blocked out by pieces of planks nailed on each side. The building was big, but it needs a lot of work in order for it to be a proper one. 

There was that huge clock with a pendulum attached below, and among all the old objects scattered around, it was the only one that seemed to be working. The carpet was dirty, and everything threats to fall apart if one isn't being careful. There were no signs of anyone ever living in here for some time now, and judging by the blocked out windows and double-layered doors, the building seemed to have been a refuge. From what exactly?

The kitchen wasn't all that presentable when Silverrium opened it either. There were few mosses growing on the corners along with some protruding rocks. The ceiling was open due to the roof barely attached on the pillars. Broken tables and chairs were everywhere, as well as pieces of shattered glass just laying almost everywhere. Sunlight easily penetrated through from above, accompanied by the fresh breathe of wind passing along the time-worn articles of furniture.

"I've been wandering around the building, trying to set out what it looked in the past." He then threw me an apple, which I immediately caught. "Everybody's too busy to prepare some actual food, but do eat that fruit." 

I shook my head, putting the apple back on the table. "I'm not hungry."

"Yeah, right. Three days of locking yourself in that room certainly didn't make you hungry."

I smiled. "You're getting too soft lately, Silv. You always look at me as though I'd disappear." 

"Perhaps you could say that." He leaned over the counter, crossing his arms. "You may not like it, but everybody cares about you. I do too."

"I know. I can feel emotions after all." 

"So? Aren't you going to at least let me know the reason behind your exhaustion? Those dark marks under your eyes, your pale skin, you're even getting thinner...should I also mention the fact that you've been lacking of energy?"

I chuckled, bitterly that is. "You were always so perceptive."

"I'm serious."

"I know." I replied, almost abruptly. "I am too." He did not reply, letting him step in closer until I felt the warmth of his hand against my forehead. 

"You're heating up."

"I'm fine." 

He frowned, staring at me. I fought of his gaze with mine though, and that seemingly have lasted for a minute or two before he closed his eyes with a sigh. "Quit pushing yourself too hard. You can rely on us--"

"I am." I stepped back, turning away from him. "I've only ever relied on you. I barely even do anything."

"You found us this place. You found something that shouldn't even exist. They call it Cretian Plains, because Cretian, in archaic language--means 'non-existent'. Tell me, Ke'ala, how did you know?"

I raised my hand, my fingers tracing the visiting streak of light as dusts danced atop my palm. "People claim they know a future I don't. Do you?" I squeezed the dusts, but they managed to escape from my grasp. "Even if you don't, you and the rest are only drawn to me because of my fate, because I needed you as accessories to complete it. Nobody can truly escape their fates, even the fact that you all care now. All of what you feel are either predetermined," I blew the remaining dusts off my hand before facing him again. "Or it could be that I've been unconsciously changing your emotions that could fit my present situation."

"You might, or might not. But that doesn't really change anything." Silverrium clasped both of his hands, the sunlight then multiplying into several rays. "I know when you're suffering, Ke'ala. I have always been watching after you."

"Then, do you also know that I am being haunted by memories?" His expression remained unchanged when I asked that, but I could feel his questioning silver eyes. "Memories that not of the past, but from something far...far away. Memories that neither feel like nightmares nor just any dream, they felt real as though I have been in the situation myself."

I breathed out a lungful of air before walking out of the kitchen. My steps were slow and deliberate as my feet found themselves on the soil. Tall grasses were seen almost surrounding the whole building, as well as large boulders of rocks that I knew extended deep underneath the ground. The whole sight was nothing beautiful, though it wasn't ugly either. Mountains and cliffs ranged to a distant from here, covered by the grayish clouds which might hint rain. But we soon came to realize the sky here in Cretian wasn't blue but gray.

Sun was barely even seen, though there were lights unfolding from above one by one as though spotlights directed solely for something, like the ruins sighted kilometres away for example. The loud echoing whimpers of monsters were blending through the rustles of the grasses, through the sound of insects aiming for survival beneath, and through the noise that was known as calmness. The wind was cold, they were sharp against the skin but they gave of this soothing feeling as though rejuvenating the senses. 

"I have seen what Caelesti can do. I have seen what they were all so afraid of." I admitted, sitting on a wooden log. "Honestly, that woman scared me. Funny, isn't it? The thought of being afraid of what I can do...the thought of being afraid of this future I am walking on towards. Does that make me weak, Silverrium?"

The demon placed a hand above my head, his gazes were far unto the plains, as though he was looking at something that wasn't even there. "What makes you weak is not because of fear, it's because you care about people around you. One wouldn't feel scared if they stop thinking about the consequences, if they stop caring about those affected. You are only eighteen, Ke'ala. You may have become an adult, but you are still a child. Yet...yet your eyes hold something older even than time."

"I don't think it's wrong caring for people though."

"It isn't. But that's your weakness." He began standing in front of me with a sad smile plastered on his lips. "You are kind despite being twisted. You give too much despite being corrupted. You are pure despite depraved. You take none despite being able to take everything." He drew out his sword, the sound of the steel being pulled out rang against my ears. "These are making you suffer, and I hate seeing your eyes so defeated every time you get out from a victorious battle. If you are twisted, then so be it. Do not be kind. If you are corrupted, then do not give too much. If you are depraved, then let it be so. Do not be pure." He pointed the tip of his blade where my beating heart was. "If you can take everything, then take them all. Do not leave none."

"You are asking me to change myself."

"I am not asking, I am telling you to." The demon backed off, letting his sword down. "How can you change your fate when you can't even change yourself? You know memories they do not, you hold the power to change everything while they all expect you to walk on the same path as your future did. So, why do you keep questioning the things you aren't supposed to do rather than question the things you should have done?"

"I fear something I know nothing of, and I fear myself even more for it is capable of changing into something so unfamiliar."

"Then let it be that way. If you fear it, then so you do. But fearing something does not mean you aren't allowed to face it, to revel in it. Don't let fear stop you in reaching something you never even thought you are capable of." Silverrium swung his sword to the side, letting the tall grasses cut in halves meters away due to the force his momentum carried. "If you can't stop the fear, then you must simply embrace it." 

"Well said for a demon." 

I was startled by the voice, making my eyes look above as a figure's silhouette came into view. My eyes widened seeing a sharp blade of sword about to penetrate through my skull--only for it to stop an inch or two before my face as Silverrium's blade block it out. Not even Silv felt any movements, nor any incoming attack if it hadn't for that voice. The attacker moved away, swirling both of her dual swords on each of her hand. She was wearing a black cloak, one that only extended down her hips. There was no sign of energy being exerted, but that speed just now was inhuman. 

"Is this how you greet your apprentice, Elite?" Naiinis na tanong ni Silverrium. Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya dahil hindi ko alam kung paano niya ako nahanap sa loob ng halos isang taon na naming hindi pagkikita. 

"I don't just use words on her like you do." Sagot ni Andrei. Binaba niya ang hood niya ta kitng-kita ko agad ang pagbabago nito. Maiksi na ngayon ang pinaghalong itim at berdeng buhok nito na hanggang balikat na lang ang haba. May isa din siyang peklat sa gilid na mukha niya, at mas bumilis pa siya lalo kumpara noon. "You're slow as ever, Ke'ala. Natural power is useless if you can't build the right body to house it."

"Spare her some slack. She is tired."

"And Silverrium won't always be there to protect you, Ke'ala." Sabi niya kaagd na hind pinansin ang sinabi ni Silv. 

Ngumiti na lamang ako at tumyo. "You must know I have a lot of questions right now."

"I do too." Agad niyng tinapon ang isa niyang espada sa direksyon ko. 

Mabilis ito, pero hindi kagaya knina n halos hindi ko na makita. Pero nagulat na lamang ako nang hindi kaagad ako nakagalaw dahil sa biglaang pagsakit ng ulo ko. Mabilis umaksyon si Silverrium at agad sinangga ang atake gamit ang sarili nitong espada. Tinaas ni Andrei ang kamay niyang nakakunot ang noo, sabay balik ng tinapon niyang weapon sa kamay nito. Muling lumabo ang paningin ko sa nangyari, pakiramdam ko ay parang biglang naubos ang natirira kong enerhiya sa katawan. 

"Ke'ala, you're--" hindi na ni Silv natuloy ang sasabihin niya nang biglang nanghina ang tuhod ko at mabuti na lang at sinalo nito kaagad ang katawan ko. Pinatong niya ang kamay niya sa leeg ko, at ramdam ko ang lamig na nagmumula dito. "You aren't fine at all."

"Let her stand." Seryosong utos ni Andrei.

"She is sick--" 

 Andrei was already in front of us, interrupting the demon as her dual swords aimed directly at him for quickly blocking her way. Before they could have another clash though, I pushed Silverrium to the side, letting my own scythe cause a friction against her blades. Her expressions were blank, but her gaze were challenging. Just as another breeze came passing by, she moved steadily behind me, her weapons raised. I easily changed the direction of my own weapon, letting it block her attack without even turning to face her. 

The Elite kept her attacks coming without even having a second break, and I could feel my own sweat building up just by keeping up with her speed. One moment she was behind me, then suddenly she would already be beside. My scythe may be big enough to completely parry her swords, but her strength was on a whole another level that every time I block, my feet would drag me back. There was no chance of avoiding either for her speed would make it impossible for me to. All I could make out from her figure were traces of shadows moving in series of motions that predicting where she would go next would only result to a clean hit from her. 

I was panting heavily when I slid back, the soil loosening beneath my feet. A wave of nausea stirred my stomach upside down, the corners of my visions beginning to darken, my knees trembling as though my muscles weren't working, and my mind releasing another intense throbbing. Despite my eyes getting blurry, I quickly changed my weapon which probably caught her off-guard. One of my dual blades was against both of hers while I swung the other from behind, aiming at her face. 

But there was that disappointment that met her facial expression as she easily shifted her body to the side, kicking my weakened knees so hard that I even heard it break as both of them sank to the ground. I bit my lower lip in attempt to keep my own voice hidden. But being the leader of the Elites did not allow her to give mercy, her attacks did not stop as she didn't hesitate to disarm me by leaving open cuts on both of my hands, making me lose my grip around my swords. My heart, again, slowed its beating, my ears were hearing nothing but muffled noises as though distorted by the air pressure. 

I looked down, sweat mixing along the scent of blood coming from the wounds that I barely even noticed were there. My hands clenched around the soil in annoyance, but my body finally persuaded me in staying still as pain seemingly enveloped my body. It felt like my limbs were slowly being torn apart, my heart being squeezed, and my skull being crushed by an unknown force. But there was that something inside me that rings as though as they were ripples, begging to be out, and I knew I needed it but I couldn't bring myself to. Fear, how infuriating that emotion is.

I closed my eyes, sensing figures round up around my body, seemingly blocking Andrei's attack that could have probably severed my head in a single cut. I wasn't surprised when I saw Finé stand beside me, her hand was raised which held a one-handed battleaxe, as what her race was known to wield, that sent Andrei a meter back. Aeryn's katana found its way on the Elite's neck unnoticed because of her unique demon blood, it made the latter immobile while Ellise had her saber disarm Andrei off her dual blades. It all happened in an instant that surprised Andrei.

The Elite sighed, shaking her head in dismay as darkness crept from below me, swallowing my feet as though it was pushing me down--until Silverrium's light dispersed it, scattering through the grasses. A barrier was set around me as Millard stood beside, his height covering my own kneeling figure. Theone's fire burned the surrounding grasses in an attempt to eradicate the creeping darkness, among the heating fire were Ziandra's electric shocks which rained from above like lightnings that pierced down the Elite's moving shadows.

"She had enough, Elite." Lucis declared, fixing his eyeglasses, his hand holding his spell book. Laire crouched beside me, healing my opened wounds that I couldn't afford to heal myself. The Dragonborne remained silent on the corner though, her eyes fixed on another figure hiding behind the broken-down pillar. 

Andrei smiled, clasping her hands together. That action released a wave of energy around her body that make the rest jump away from her reach. "You found yourself some good people, Ke'ala. But have you ever asked yourself if you even deserve their company?"

"I know you're disappointed by my performance, Andrei. No point in making me feel bad."

"I am more than disappointed. My apprentice being this weak...that is ridiculous."

"So, those are the first few things you'll say to someone you haven't met for so long now?"

"I am angry, Ke'ala. You keep holding yourself back, as though you'd give up at any chance you get." She clenched her fists, frustration mixed with exhaustion met her face. "I can't have you meet such fate, not after everything I have sacrificed."

I frowned, but said nothing. Laire seem to know what Andrei was talking about though, I could tell by the way her eyes widened for a second. The rest of my aides remained silent as well, aware of the building tension enveloping the atmosphere. Andrei's eyes have always looked calm, perceptive, calculative, but now--there were something etched though her gaze. Hatred, bitterness, frustrations, remorse...I could only wonder then where she directs all those dark emotions if they weren't for me, even though I knew I was the reason for her to feel that way. 

"Another one who know the fate I hold." I sighed. "Does it has something to do with that anger of yours?" Tumayo ako at hindi na inalala ang sakit na nagmumula sa katawan ko. "You feel so much anger to my own fate that you wish you could just kill me now instead." Lumakad ako papunta sa direksyon niya, hindi ko pinansin ang nagtatanong nilang mga mata at tinaas ang isa kong kamay. Sa isang iglap ay hawak ko na ang scythe. Nagulat ang lahat nang idirekta ko ang matalim nitong kurba sa leeg ko mismo. "I'll even do it myself if you tell me to."

"Ke'ala--" 

"Do not interfere, Theone." Seryoso akong nakatingin sa Elite na ngayon ay blanko ang ekspresyon ng mukha. "I would have died a long time ago if this woman did not give me a purpose. That was to live as your apprentice. I did, and I still am. If you suddenly decide to end that purpose, I won't even blame you for it." She grabbed the pole of the scythe, at kahit ako ay nagulat nung walang kahirap-hirap niya itong binali. 

"That's how you should always look at people, Ke'ala." Wika nito kasabay ang unti0unting pagkawala ng weapon ko. Lumapit ito sa akin at pinatong ang isang kamay nito sa balikat ko, tapos ay nilapit ang mukha sa gilid ng tainga ko. "Always look confident, make everyone think that you're leagues above them, that you have something hidden." 

"Andrei?" Nag-aalalang tanong ko nang mapansin ko ang tumutulong pulang likido mula sa tiyan nito. Hindi ko ito nakita kanina dahil tago ito ng itim na cloak niya. To think she moved that fast without the need of energy while she's heavily injured...I can't help but feel a little powerless compared to this woman.

"You can't look vulnerable in front of people, even if they're allies. After all, you will never know when they'll turn against you." She let out a shaky breath. "It doesn't matter what method you will have to resort to, claim victory. Win, even if others judge you for it. Win, even if you don't like it yourself. Win, as if it's the last thing you'd have to do." 

"Andrei--" and that was it, she was already unconscious. I clenched my fists, before releasing a deep breath. "Ziandra, bring her inside." 

Tinulungan naman ni Ziandra ang walang malay na si Andrei papasok sa bahay, pumasok narin ang dalawa ko pang spirits sa loob. Humarap ako sa kanilang lahat na ngayon ay naghihintay sa sasabihin ko. Sumasakit parin ang ulo ko at pakiramdam ko ay mas lalong uminit ang katawan ko. I can't even feel my energy right now, everything feels numb as though I was being surrounded by water, the pressure pushing me to succumb to it. 

"Why don't we start by hearing what you'll have to say?" Tanong ko sabay tingin sa kanina pa pinagamasadan ni Astoria. 

Nakarinig naman kaming lahat ng mahinang tawa bago lumabas ang pigura mula sa likuran ng wasak na poste. Katulad ni Andrei ay nakasuot din siya ng itim na cloak, at hanggang siko lang nito ang suot na cloak. Wala itong suot na hood, laya kitang-kita ko ang browm na buhok niyang may habang hanggang likod, minsan may pagkakataon kung saan nagiging visible ang pulang bahagi nito sa ilalim. Nagulat man ako makita ang buong itsura nito pero saglit lang 'yun dahil kung sino naman dito ay hindi inaasahang makita ang kahawig ng babaeng iyon. Maliban na lamang sa kulay ng mga mata nitong kulay maroon, isang kulay na ngayon ko lang nakita. 

"Caelesti the Unknown!" She beamed. "That was an impressive performance, but a bit disappointing. I mean, 'yun lang ba ang magagawa mo?" Nagtataka niyang tanong.

 "How provocative. Got that from your mother, I suppose."

She smiled, and the way she does so reminded me so much of Andrea. Hindi ng iba naramdaman ang presensya niya maliban na lamang kay Astoria, nakatago kasi ito. And of all  people I know so well that could masked their presence as though a passing air, only Andrei could do it so perfectly. Me being able to sense emotions makes it useless against me thnoug, maliban na lamang kung ang Elite na ito, that woman's speed is on a different level that noticing it would be way too late. Astoria, being a Dragonborne, can easily sense changes in the air, kaya hindi na ako magugulat kung kanina niya pa napapansin ang babaeng ito.

"She's dangerous." Wika ni Silverrium sabay hawakn g mahigpit sa espada nito. 

"I'm afraid I might not be able to match the Demon Silverrium in my current state." Nakangiti niyang saad sabay alis ng cloak niya. Kitang-kita namin ang mga pasa at galos nito. "My body's a mess inside, and I'm not like Andrei who could still move that well despite a critical injury." 

Mabilis lumapit si Ellise sa kaniya at tinaas ang damit nito. May namumuong maliit na butas dito, pero walang dugo ang lumalabas, tanging itim lang ang loob ng balat at may lumalabas ditong kaonting kakaibang enerhiya. Sa una ay akala ko isa itong dark energy, pero mas kakaiba ang pakiramdam nito kumpara sa masamang enerhiya. Dark energies are heavy and of course, dark, but this energy is strange. It doesn't feel like anything but painful, as though this strange energy's ravishing her insides in a slow manner. 

"It's burning your skin." Wika ni Ellise. 

"That's just rude." Umatras naman ang babae at binaba ang damit nito habang masamang tinignan ang assassin. 

"Dark energy?" Hindi siguradong tanong ni Ellise.

"Dark energies don't cause such an effect on the skin, as well as pure energy." Sagot ni Lucis. "I've never seen or felt like it before. It burns the surface and causes dark molds inside, as though erasing the contacted flesh, the bones, and the blood by this dark spot." Akmang lalapit siya sa babae nang umatras ulit ito.

"Look, before I end up in a worse condition,  let's discuss the the things you should know first." She sighed, obviously exasperated. "Nether energy, I'm sure at least some of you have heard of it." 

Agad namang nagliwanag ang mga mata ni Lucis bago kunin ang isang mliit na libro sa loob ng suot niyang storage ring kung saan lumalabas lang ang mga gamit dito kung kailangan niya. "T-that isn't..." napunta ang tingin niya kay Laire. "Nether energy doesn't even exist."

But Laire, who doesn't usually have any facial expression, frowned. "It isn't supposed to, that is."

"Ano ba ang Nether energy na ito?" Nakakunot ang noo ni Ellise sa tanong. 

"Nether is the lowest form of energy, not because it's weak or something, it's because it was considered as a 'ridiculous theory' since ancient times. Many in the past refused to acknowledge this and was finally officially concluded as being 'impossible'." Paliwanag ni Lucis. "Nether energy is a mixture of both pure and dark." 

"How is it impossible if  Caelesti itself can manipulate and even blend both pure and dark?" Naguguluhang sabi ni Finé. 

"Manipulating dark energy is close to impossible because of a huge chance the user might die even before they could unleash it. It is why even now, there are only so little number of people who can control it. Of course, having dark energy is forbidden, because not only it could possibly kill it's user, it could also deal unfavourable damage to those anything around." Dagdag pa ni Laire, tapos ay lumingon ito sa akin. "Manipulating both is impossible due to a reason that any bodies cannot handle having two energies collide inside. No one in history has ever been reported to have done such a feat, much more end up being successful with it."

"Caelesti can filter energies in her body. She can either choose to release pure or dark, or even choose to blend both which is called Nether." The girl finally said. "It only means that her body had simply adapted to having to contain both when simply put, she should have already been long dead. Maybe it's because of her massive energy capacity that allowed her to live and adapt by forcing her life force to absorb emotions that carry these energies at the same time and by giving it some time, her body was able to evolve. In other words, I'm saying that she's like a human bomb. When she dies, all the energies inside her body will be released and...you get what I'm saying."

"So," I closed my eyes, refusing to acknowledge her words. "...you're saying that I shouldn't even die?"

"For the sake of everything around you, you just can't."

I'm being forced to think about everything around me even at my own death? How can selfish can this world get? When will I actually get to start thinking about only myself? I wanted to finish everything so I could die without leaving everything behind, without any more responsibilities, without me having to understand people, so I could be freed from my own twisted fate. A part of me, deep inside, fears it. Who doesn't fear death? But even if I do, that won't stop me from that desire of grasping death, to open the door to the other side and finally get lost inside it. Because I'm tired, tired of everything, exhausted of having this life where everything seems to be revolving around me when it shouldn't. 

But now, this girl is saying that I can't die for the sake of everything around me? What am I supposed to do then? Accept people's hatred, their scorn, their judgement? To accept the fact that everyone is out there to get my death and I should survive no matter what? That I can't live in peace even for once? I wanted to change my fate, to shape my own destiny, but how can I do that if even now, I'm still thinking about everyone around me? It's not that I wanted to be selfless, it's just that I can't be selfless because of my ability to sense everything. 

"If Ke'ala is the only one who can manipulate this Nether energy, and if this kind of energy can do that to a person, then why do you that?" Silverrium questioned, referring to the dark mold that seems to be eating her flesh out. 

"The formula." 

"What formula?" 

"Even Silverrium isn't aware of this one formula that could literally kill Caelesti?" She asked, sending a grin at me. "How noble, you didn't even tell your aides that you could die in the hands of any enemies now for you will never know who has the perfect formula to kill you."

"They didn't need to, until you blurted it all out." 

"Well, it doesn't matter if your enemies can't use Nether, for they will surely have the formula in exchange. That formula created by you, yourself. Are you that desperate to die? The Caelesti I know in my time was, but I didn't expect you'd be so obsessed with death even in that age."

"Ke'ala." Silverrium glared, anger rising from him so much that veins were starting to get visible on his forehead and neck. I could suddenly feel the rise of fear from people around me. 

I sighed. "I created the formula to lock me in, not to kill me. The blueprint is an island layered with series of magical law formations, intricate enough that even my own energy can't counter it. But that was it, it wasn't supposed to get dangerous, it wasn't supposed to--"

"Kill you." Finé interrupted, clenching her fists. "But now it was made to do just that."

"But if we steal the formula back--"

The girl abruptly interrupted Ellise. "The blueprint containing the formula has been mass-produced, scattered by the World's Organization itself. That Organization really does hate Caelesti, it seems. It was as though they knew what you did in the future."

"What did she do?" Aeryn asked. 

She shook her head, smiling to herself. "The World's Battle didn't happen, it couldn't start. Why? You defeated the candidates one by one, hunting them down before you were locked in Mavro Isle, the island you made in that supposed blueprint, but some other remaining top candidates went there to kill you as revenge for the battle that did not happen because of your interference. Let's just say they were no match for you." She scoffed. "Kaya iba't iba talaga ang lebel mo ngayon kung ano ka sa mga panahong iyon, Caelesti." Bulong lamg ang huling wika nito na ako lang yata ang nakarinig, dahil hindi naman ito maiiintindihan ng iba.

"B-but what if we change the formula?" Lucis suggested. 

"We don't know who has a blueprint." She replied. "We were too late when we sought out to steal the formula, before we were even aware of it, they already produced so many, giving it away like some kind of a reward." Kumuyom ang kamao nito. "Those blueprints...Andrei was so sure that not even the World's Organization is aware whether the formula could indeed kill you or not."

"You're saying they're giving it away like a bunch of prototypes?"

"Exactly." Pinakita niya ang sugat niya kung saan mukhang mas lumaki pa ang itim na marka, para bang nilalamon nito ang balat niya. "It doesn't just for you, people has been using it like some kind of weapon. We were confronted by Knights who each has their own blueprint, and this is the cause of the formula that was stolen and enhanced from you. It has different effects." Her face became grim, clouded in disbelief. 

"Some who used it lost control and ended up dying on spot, some stated the chant and turned into some kind of monster, some went on rampage; attacking anything in sight, while some gets to have dark spots in their bodies, burning the flesh up slowly until not even a single bone left. Some process takes a few days, sometimes a few hours." She continued. 

"You used the formula?" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni Ellise.

"What can I say? I needed to know whether it was effective. But it doesn't do anything on the target, but rather...it has an opposite effect. It only does something worse to the caster saying the chant."

I suddenly found myself preventing a laugh, kaya napatingin sila biga sa direksyon ko. Hanggang sa lumakas na atawa ko na naging halakhak. Hindi ko inaasahan ang mga pangyayari. Just how funny can this situation get? I got all worked up thinking there was that one formula out there that many people now have that could finally kill me and what? Nalaman ko na lamang na ang mga taong may hawak ng blueprint na ito ang maaapektohan, ang mga taong gustong mamatay ako ay ang mamamatay kung gagamitin nila ang formula na ito?

"I wonder if this is what they call karma." I said, still breathing roughly.

 "Can you imagine how many people probably has that blueprint and even right at this moment, chanting the formula without even knowing that it would actually ruin their lives? Can you imagine the chaos it would bring?" I smiled, clenching my fists. "And what? They would blame me for it, saying it was my formula? That reason is why I am hated in that future you came from, is it? The reason why I'm going to be despised by the world..."

"I wonder just how big the mess is going to be that billions of people from now will going to curse my entire existence. When will it happen? Tomorrow? In a few hours? Any second now? When will the name Caelesti of the Unknown will be known throughout the land as the girl who betrayed the world by bringing it chaos?" I looked at the girl directly, sensing the fear behind her maroon-coloured eyes which made her step back. 

I smirked. They were all suddenly feeling the fear now. Have they finally realized how much of a monster the person they were with until now actually is? Are they going to leave me now just because they finally realize how corrupted I appear? Do they hate me too? Are they going to kill me like everybody always turn out to do? 

"Ke'ala." Silverrium warned. I glared at him, but he didn't seem bothered by it. 

"Caelesti." I felt Astoria's hand held the loose ends of my cloak, and that was when I stopped, realizing a fact.

"You're going to suffocate them with your energy." Silv reminded, his hand on my head. "Calm down."

I blinked, then again, and again. Then I touched my head, feeling that throbbing pain return despite ignoring them earlier on. I began to retract the energy I have been releasing without my notice.  "I...I almost lost control again." Anger then slipped from my body like cooling heat, slowly fading away as though I was poured by a cold water. 

The girl sat on the ground, her knees could no longer handle her weight, her breathing also became ragged, and her eyes were closed. "Damn that formula...I'm really impressed it could weaken me like this. Cel would surely scold me when she sees me being this weak, Irona would shoot me and Irvaius would look as though he'd cry." She mumbled, sweating. "Before that though, do you trust Celeztie? I'm sure you've met your own daughter."

"I don't. I can't trust her."

"I guess she saw that coming." She chuckled. "When you killed the Emperor and took the Guardian from him," she pointed at the chain necklace around my neck. "You were supposed to activate Etherion right there and then, and the Great War of the New World Order would have already commenced since a month ago, a day after you activated the Tower. At least, that was what happened in our timeline."

I frowned. "I was stopped by Andrea and Iyana, as well as the rest because Celeztie told them my plan, so I changed how I set things up."

"Hindi mo parin ba napapansin?" Pagod na tanong nito. "If you had activated Etherion, the war would have broken out earlier. If the war did, there would have been a massive annihilation not because both versions weren't prepared, it's because of the sudden appearance of the Endseeker. If the war would have broken out, nobody would have had paid attention to its appearance and nobody could have had done anything when it awakes weeks after its slumber."

"I know. I have always been aware." 

"You knew she planned everything for you and you still won't trust her?" Naiinis nitong tanong. "You weren't met to meant to travel with Iyana and...Andrea, you were meant to do everything alone. You weren't even supposed stay long in Zyrendel and not even supposed to have made a deal with the dwarves. You weren't supposed to acquire another relic, and you're not even supposed to have saved her, more or less even have met." Tinuro niya si Astoria na nasa tabi ko. "Celeztie negotiated with Prince Zen not for the successor seat, but she knew that prince has affections for you and she used it to get him to your side."

"How did you know that?"

"Irvaius. He always reports each others' progress." Sagot niya, napaisip ak na kaya pala palaging may nakasunod kay Celeztie simula nung umalis kami ng Yillusa.

"Zyrendel is currently in a rise of reputation because it is helping the Fallen Empire of Leomer when nobody would in fear of the Endseeker which harbors just above its continent. Zen took down the Arkion Faction, ran way from the country with Andrei back to Magnus to hunt down the top candidates according to what Celeztie told him to who was pretending to be you at the time. But Zen had to return to Zyrendel eventually and Andrei had to gather up her Elites." Napahimalos ito ng mukha gamit ang isang palad niya. 

"Until we found out the existence of this formula and were already too late to stop it from mas-production. Not only that, the Elites were killed one by one in different locations that Andrei wasn't able to gather them." She sighed. "Those Elites were given blueprints with the formula without knowing anything. Individually, they were each attacked by top candidates then probably was forced to use the formula at some point and..."

"And they self-destructed." I looked away then. No wonder Andrei seemed so angry and heartbroken. 

"Andrei was attacked by a candidate, that was where she got her injuries. But she managed to deal an equal damage to the enemy that the guy even escaped. We were able to find you because of that ring." Dahil sa sinabi niya ay naalala mo ang singsing na binigay sa akin ni Andrei noon. "It was made by a witch from West Mages Association with Andrei's spiritual energy embedded through it that the energy would stick around you even if it breaks. That wherever you are, Andrei will always be able to appear near you because of her shadow magic."

Tumigil ito sa pagsasalita at sumdal sa poste na nasa likuran. Lumakad ako palapit sa babae at binaba ko ang sarili para maging magkapantay lang kami. Ngayong malapit na ako ay nararamdaman ko ang enerhiyang tinatawag nilang nether na unti-unting bumabalot sa katawan niya mula sa loob. Nilagay ko ang kamay ko sa gilid ng tiyan nito kung saan medyo malaki na ang itim na marka. May mga linya itong na parang sunog sa paligid, at nagmumukhang parang pinunit ang balat nito. 

"What are you--?" Bulong niya. She flinched when I touched the mark deeper, and as though the dark mold was a ball of cinders, nawasak ang itim na marka at naging abo. She screamed in pain, and tried to move away but I held her down. 

"The energy has even burned her blood." Lucis studied behind me. "If we want to save her life, the nether energy inside her needs to be absorbed before it could completely engulf her whole energy. Unlike you who can filter your own energy, this girl can't."

"It would be a painful process," Aeryn was already beside me then. "Sleep." And with a single touch of her forefinger against the girl's forehead, the latter was already unconscious. "Humans react to little pain, it would be troublesome if she were awake while the treatment is going on. Plus," binuhat niya ang babae at napabuntong-hininga. "She looks like somebody who'd give a punch when touch." 

"I can take the nether energy out of her body, and even if it has already engulfed her original energy, I can still somehow filter it out." I stood up, looking at Finé. "Give me numbers."

"Don't worry, there's a high probability that she'd live no matter how the process would kill her." But seeing her frown made me stop. She shook her head eventually, looking away. 

"Ke'ala?" Napalingon ako kay Silv na nagtataka kung bakit hindi pa ako sumusunod. Tumango lang ako sa kaniya at hinayaan silang bumalik sa sira-sirang bahay. 

Lumapit ako kay Finé na nakamasid lang sa medo madilim na kalawakan. "What is it?" 

"I don't think Andrei will--"

"I know." I closed my eyes, sighing. "Her wounds were deep, she had already lost too much blood, and her eyes were badly damaged to the point she was only relying on her senses. I don't think she'll live for long given the critical injuries on her body."

"That sounded so cold." She smiled, looking at me. "But I know you better than that. To think she could even bring you to your knees, she's amazing. It would such a waste if she were to die--"

"I won't let her." I interrupted again. "Though I do know that's not what you were worried about."

She crossed her arms, her face suddenly becoming serious. "The Endseeker awakened hours ago. It caused such a large energy disturbance that reached even to the surrounding countries."

"What kind of disturbance is this?"

"That Endseeker is named Daeva, and Daeva is an entity known to hold a power that could absorb all kinds of energy among all other Endseekers. You can already guess what happened, the surrounding countries were affected and those with small amount of energy in their bodies died so quickly. It created such a huge turmoil that people are now in chaos, hurrying up to escape to the southern countries. But ships or any means of transportation is  limited, and most countries are currently closed for immigrants because of the New World Order."

"The Empire?"

"Half of the continent disappeared brought by Daeva's single attack." She paused, feeling the cool ambiance around us. "The organizations that set their bases right below the Endseeker surprisingly survived despite the large casualties. I don't know why they're so confident that they can take out this Endseeker, but for them to take such huge risk that could literally reduce their numbers, they must have a secret weapon other than the relic Pyramid, like what you've mentioned before after you went back from that gathering."

"And if each group lost so many of their people, what of the war?" I said, more to myself. 

They were all still unprepared when I triggered the events after I killed the Emperor, a war was supposed to happen right after I activate Etherion led by the Coven, as what Andrea said indicated in the past. But that activation did not happen and so was this war for the Coven did not do anything regarding Kalvin's death. If my future was indeed predetermined, then why did things began changing? Since when have thing even started to do so? Since Celeztie appeared? And that supposed daughter of mine kept saying she's on my side, but how sure is she that things are changing in my favour? 

"The whole situation makes it easier for you, Caelesti."

"What are you suggesting, Finé?"

"To disappear."

I met her serious gaze, before turning myself around back to the house with a blank look on my face. It's not that I was ignoring her words, they made perfect sense actually. With the Endseeker being there, and the blueprints scattered around hoping it could indeed kill me, and with the organizations that are after me too busy rebuilding their people, nobody would even notice me disappearing from the whole picture. As long as I control the Cretian Plains, as long as I am here in my domain, I am safe. I could even slowly build my own forces here.

But choosing that option would mean leaving the world out there in ruins, and no matter how I despise this world, I am on it's side enough that I would even plan my death for it. But then again, why am I even hesitating? Why must I need to care about everything else when someone out there is going to end up claiming my death? When will I actually start doing what I want rather than the things I need to?

 They were all already in the room when I opened the door. On the other side of the bed laid Andrei where my spirits were fixing her wounds and on other was that girl with Aeryn and Lucis both examining her conditions. I walked right in the middle of the room, both beds each on my side were meters out of reach. There was a rectangular window right in front of me, the glass was broken that the wind would make a sound every time it passes by the sharp edges. 

"I want all of you to listen." I declared which made them look at me. I turned to face their waiting and curious expressions. "Silverrium and Aeryn, get the dwarves from Zyrendel. It's time for us to meet the end of our deal. Laire, I need you to continue mapping the entire plains. Astoria can fly, take her." Then I turned to my spirits. "Ziandra, I'll need you to find an electric source together with Lucis, if there's water somewhere, I'm sure you can make things work. I need a fully operated house by next week, and I'm leaving that to Theone and Ellise. Lastly, I need Millard to set barriers around the area. There are still monsters roaming the plains, I do not want any distraction."

Nagkatinginan muna silang lahat bago tumango sa isa't isa. Matapos ang ilang segundo ay lumabas narin sila ng kwarto. Ibinalin ko ang tingin sa dalawang babae na walang malay ngayong nakahiga sa magkaibang higaan. Tinaas ko ang dalawa kong kamay sa magkabilang gilid, tsaka ko unti-unting naramdaman ang pagdaloy ng enerhiya palabas mula dito. Hindi nagtagal ay nabalot ang buong espasyo ng enerhiya ko. Sa sobrang bigat ng enerhiya a narinig ko ang pagbasag ng mga bagay na gawa sa salamin sa paligid, sumabay dito ay ang pagbilis ng paghinga ng dalawa.

Nang makasigurado na ako na pati ang hangin a nababalot sa sarili kong enerhia ay dahan-dahan akong lumapit sa babae na kung iisipin ay hindi ganoon kalayo ang agwat sa edad namin base sa mukha nito. Pinatong ko ang dalawa kong palad sa katawan niya, ang isa ay sa ulo at ang isa naman ay sa bandang itaas lang ng tiyan nito. Hinanap ko kaagad kung saan nagsisimula ang nether energy na ito, hindi ako nagkamali na tuluyan na ngang napalitan ng nether ang orihinal na masamang enerhiya nito. 

I slowly began filtering the nether energy out of her system, and it was so dense already that I could feel my hands trembling whenever I try absorbing it. This nether energy was too unstable that it even leaks out of my grasp but since the air was clouded with my own energy, I could still somehow hold on to it. Her body would writhe in hissing pain as though she was being skinned out alive whenever I was trying to replace her lacking dark energy. Being an irregular who can use dark energy certainly is another factor why she's still alive even now. 

"You're only making things harder for yourself." A voice said, it was alluring despite the obvious confusion that went along with it.

After seemingly an hour of filtering, I moved back, almost stumbling the moment I closed the burned flesh, it would take time to completely heal her but she would live. I was starting to breathe roughly once again, sweat gliding along the corners of my eyes. I took the cloak off me, throwing it somewhere as I stepped towards Andrei. I smiled, a genuine one as my hand reached to touch her forehead. Who would even think I get to see a vulnerable side of her? I had always seen her as a woman worthy of respect, a woman that had sacrificed even her team of Elites for my sake. She was willing to go that far for me because she believed I will be able to bring back Andrea. 

She loves her sister, even when her actions and words do not convey it enough for Andrea to even know. But emotions tell what simple words and mere actions cannot, and sometimes, a part of me feels satisfied that I am able to feel what others don't, that I am able to convey the feelings behind a person's facade for another. But in the end of the day, it's all about other people, it was never me, and that itself is a bit saddening. I had never hidden the fact that I am envious of Andrea for her to have someone out here to still wait for her to return even if she would tell herself that nobody will--or perhaps I did, who knows? It had always felt so challenging to unveil my own emotions compared to unveiling what others feel. 

"Perhaps..." I began unbuttoning the Elite's sleeveless white shirt that was already tainted with so much blood that it turned red. "Perhaps I am deliberately making things harder for myself."

I looked in front, seeing her long grayish hair flutter so mindlessly that it met against the sudden ray of the light, making the strands seemingly translucent. The figure stood with her back against the wall, her lifeless eyes questioning me as though I was a puzzle she could never comprehend despite the lifetimes she must have been through. There was that loneliness behind them though, and she would appear so near yet there was something about her that's so intangible.  

"Do not look at me like that, Caelesti." Her voice was firm this time. 

But I just said nothing, channeling the last spares of my energy to the Elite. Roaming my hands around her body, I could feel my own energy attaching the both ends of her bones, my energy fixing her meridians, and eventually replacing the lost blood. My eyes scanned the bruises and scratches on her fair-coloured skin, and I didn't want her naturally unscathed appearance to stop being that way and thus, I found myself healing even such simple injuries. 

Before I was even aware of it, I was already sitting on the floor, blood dripping from my nose and my eyes once again blurring but only this time, I could no longer see anything but clouded visions of passing, strange motions that I ended up closing them. I suddenly felt something soft and ticklish laid behind my back, as well as the scent of lavender that easily enveloped my senses. I knew I was in a memory again, one that I told myself that I didn't want to see and thus, I remained closing my eyes where I see nothing but comforting darkness.

"You indulge yourself in a life of suffering, unfairness, exhaustion, and pain as a retribution for having a cruel fate that involved people around you without them having any such choice as running away from it." The voice said again, almost as though a low mumbling. "Now, I understand why you are kind despite being twisted. You were never twisted from the start, you were only forced to be for your own survival."

I placed both of my arms behind my head, my eyes still closed. "You always seem to understand me just like that." A small air of laughter escaped my lips then.

"You give too much despite being corrupted for you never claim anything that is yours."

"Why would I need to take something only to let it go in the end because of my predetermined death?"

"You are pure despite depraved, but you only needed to hide your weaknesses that you end up appearing as though a villain, a monster when the truth was far from that."

My ears perked as I heard the rushing water nearby. "I hid my weaknesses too deep, it seems, that I even I can no longer find them when I want them found."

"You take none despite being able to take everything. Though in truth, you merely fear taking too much for you might even take something you shouldn't."

"I see no point in taking everything only to leave them behind eventually, knowing I will not last long to see them."

"Why is it that you fear being freed, Caelesti?" The voice was coming from somewhere very near, that I wasn't even surprise to see her face looking down at me as her shadow overcast mine against the grasses below. Her fingers traced my chest, until it found where my heart resided. "Heartbeats always have their own sound, yours have always sounded so dull and monotonous."

"And yours never even sound." I whispered, and she smiled, one that showed nothing behind it. "I wonder why despite living through lifetimes, fate has never threaded a path for you, Athanasía?"

She moved back, letting me sit up as I look around. I squinted because of the blinding lights, but soon adjusted to the scenery before us. Tall grasses entered the view only to be met by white sand on a far distant, where calm echoing waves would gently slip through above it. Birds flew above the green, swaying trees and their gentle whistles blended in with the reverberating laughter coming from the figures below this hill. 

Children ran across the green field, their fingers brushing along the blooming flowers, the bracts of dandelions dancing through the air. Two figures then walked on the paved road made of pebbles that led from a small, oaken house. One held a parasole which shielded the other from the rising run, their hands intertwined as their backs faced mine. The sight was unfamiliar despite the nostalgia I was feeling, and the scene seemed so far despite being so near.  

"What memory is this?" The memories that Caelesti had...they were never this bright.

Her gray eyes found my pale ones, and they were glowing. "Sometimes, answers don't even have to show themselves for us to realize."

My eyes widened, and my heart swayed in something so light and satisfaction at the thought of it. It was joy, something I was long deprived from and it felt so strange that I am walking through something so unfamiliar yet I do not fear it. 

She smiled, and this time, there was something behind her smile. I knew then, it was one of her rarest ones. "Finally, I'm hearing such a pleasing melody from your heartbeats, and I know they will keep changing from now on, building a lifelong tune of music."

"I'm still not sure about this answer."

"Yet your soul does." She spread her arms, the scent of spring accompanied the passing breeze. "Look around you, Caelesti--no, Ke'ala," she laughed. "Your future is bleak, always changing. But somewhere, if you see it, if you fight for it, it's there."

"What is?"

"The answer isn't lost, nor is it missing...you don't even need to search for it. Feel, and make your answer."

My hand reached for my chest, feeling the fast-beating of my heart. She was right, it sounded different. Somehow, I found myself hearing my heartbeats sound so beautifully, and I didn't mind drowning just so I could revel in it. And somewhere along that melody, somewhere along that pleasing tune, I knew my answer. 

"A world of my own."

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AN: Finally reached the half of the second volume! As always, thank you for supporting Magnus Academy until for I don't know how long, but I do hope you'd still be there to see me through the end. Your reads, votes, and comments made it possible for me to update weekly without fail so I am beyond thrilled and grateful for all of that. 

Nobody's probably going to read this but anyway, this is the longest chapter I have ever made so far in Magnus, and was able to finish just in time before this laptop goes dead. I always plan on doubling my updates, but for some reason, I always end up deciding to stuff two chapters in one just like this chapter so, I am sorry but you have to bear my possibly long chapters from now on. 

And I know it's another late update, I apologize for that. Also apologizing for the fact that nothing much happened on this chapter but the same-old boring character development that I had no choice but to write. I have been told to take a break from writing at least, but decided against it at the end of the day. I enjoy Magnus far too much to stop now. Though I shall try harder next time for this chapter felt like it wouldn't go that well that I kept thinking readers might not enjoy it, but I am happy and satisfied to publish this chapter regardless. So feel free to tell me thoughts, or you could also stay silent as it is and I'm still happy and fine it.

Anyway, thank you for sparing your time reading this late update and as usual, please do have a happy reading.