Insidious Voices Among the Still Glowing Girl

It was still raining heavily the next day. Dark grey clouds hung above, full of rain, and ready to explode. The stars were still shining, though. Lighting up my path for me. Guiding and protecting. Once again I was up on a roof staring down at my latest target.

Another man by the name of Kou Fuse. He was another low life who's name had been whispered by the wind. I heard he was working for a wannabe Dark Wizard.
How desperate was he? Pathetic. Even though this man was not showing that much of a threat, his name still showed up in conversations on the streets.

It was starting to annoy me.

I watched him as he made his way to the same alleyway from before. Hehehe, so...this is where you have all been hiding, eh?
The body of the other guy was already gone. Cleaned up and swept under the rug. No need for an uproar. Clean and simple.

I played with my dagger as I watched Kou press the palm of his hand on the same spot as before. We didn't have to wait long before the brick wall responded to his touch, and slid open with a hiss. Into the secret passage way he went with barely a glance to see if anyone had seen.
Pathetic and stupid.
The wall came back into place, the man disappearing from my sight. I stared at the wall with a menacing glare. I wonder...
I stood up and rolled my shoulders.

Eh, why the hell not?

I jumped down from the roof and stalked over to the wall, sticking to the shadows. My hand raised up, palm facing outward, ready to lay against the cold brink. I hesitated, my hand hovering over the bricks.
What if an alarm sounded?
I would be surrounded in seconds. Not like it's a big matter anyway, I reasoned with myself. I would just be home a little later then expected.

With this in mind, I let out a sigh, and placed my palm on the wall gently. My muscles were tense. Ready to run. Ready to fight. Like I had been trained to do. I wasn't even sure if this was even going to work. I may have very well just enforced my death. Oh, well. Can't be helped now.

I only had to wait for a moment before the wall opened up.

I blinked, surprised that it had revealed its secrets to me, and shrugged my shoulders. Thanks for revealing all you have. I walked in, my eyes on alert, my hearing on high for the smallest, quietest of sounds. My soul nearly ripped itself from my body when music instantly exploded through my sensitive ears. I jerked back and rubbed at my ringing ears. My vision was being flooded with flashing strobe lights.
Blue.
White.
Pink.
Green.
Yellow.
Rainbow.
Repeat.

Squeezing my eyes shut from the powerful flashing lights, I centered myself, steadily calming my heart that was in time with the thumping music. I slowly reopened my eyes, letting them adjust to the new lighting. I scanned the place where I had found myself in. People, hundreds of them, danced underneath the colors of the strobe lights. There was barely any room for any of the dancing bodies to move. That didn't seem to be stopping any of them though.

I can't believe this.

I was in a club.

This was what was behind the so carefully hidden wall?! A club!
This bored and irritated me to no end.
My irritation only heightened when I failed to see my target.
So much for some excitement. I glanced around me. My eyes skated across the lithe dancing bodies to the mini bar against the far wall.
Might as well make up for lost time. I stalked over to the small bar that held many strangely colored drinks. I took my hood off with a flick of my wrist. I ruffled my hair before I sat down at the bar and crossed my legs.

The only other person at the bar, that was not passed out drunk yet, was a young boy. He had to be no older then 18, 20 at the most. My eyes ranked over his hunched over form. He had dark purple hair that was longer in the back then in the front. The young teen must have sensed my eyes on him, because he glanced my way. His eyes were the darkest of blues, reminding me of a bottomless ocean.
I blinked at him. Why did he look so familiar? I stared into his dark eyes and took in his sharp features.
I sighed through my nose.

No way. No way in hell. What are the damned chances?

I needed a drink to even begin dealing with this. I signaled the bar keeper, asked for a strong drink, and after only a few moments of waiting, my drink was being set down before me. It was a odd looking concoction of liquids. The liquid inside bubbled up to the surface of the drink, waiting for its moment to spill over. The colors that made up the liquor were a bright blue and orange. I picked it up, sniffed it, and knocked it back. The cold liquid slid down my throat and settled in my stomach, warming my insides up in seconds. I set the now empty glass down and rubbed at my tired eyes.

I knew the boy who's eyes were now on me.

Romeo Conbolt, Fairy Tail Wizard.

Perfect. Just what I needed. I cursed the stars. The one time I confide in them, they screw me over. Thanks a lot, ya bunch of bastards. I risked another glance at the boy. His eyes had been diverted away from me to a young woman with long, blue hair dancing away.
How's Fairy Tail, Romeo?
I so desperately wanted to ask. But, I bit my traitorous tongue. I would not be asking any questions today.
Or any day.

I put my hood back up with a growl and glanced around the club for my target again. Perhaps he had come out from wherever he had gone to hide himself. I didn't see him. I rapped my fingernails against the slick wood of the bar's sticky counter. Well, I'll just wait for you here, darling. I ordered another one of those warming drinks before I resumed my searching. As I kept scanning the unfamiliar faces in the crowd, someone in the crowd caught my eye.

As I narrowed my eyes at the girl I choked on my drink. Wild, blue hair flying in the air. Bangs held back from her pretty face by a rainbow colored headband. Small hands twisting and turning high above her bobbing head. Her petite body jumping and swaying wildly to the beat. Her dazzling, white smile gracing people with its happiness. Her eyes were closed, her head turned upward, dancing in her own little world.
Levy McGarden was here. Nice to see you again, Levs. A sad smile marked my face. As I watched her swaying body, I noticed someone else close by to her, his own red eyes on her.
Gajeel Redfox was scanning the crowd around Levy. Baring his canines at anyone who dared get close enough to the small woman. Bitter panic began to build inside me.

What were they doing here? This was a small town. It was isolated and barely a blip on the map. What had brought these three Mages here then?

As I kept scanning the thick crowd of withering bodies, I began to see many familiar faces that I really wished I had not seen. Lucy Heartfilia, the Keeper of Zodiac keys, was dancing close to Levy. She looked radiant in the glimmering lights that reflected off her golden hair. Her curvy body easily matched the tempo of the fast beating pace of the music.

I began to scan the crowd faster and with more rapt attention. I saw...was that Wendy Marvell? Little Wendy? Oh, had she changed. She was all woman now and she was beautiful. Now I knew who had stolen Romeo's attention earlier. My eyes took in Bisca and Alzack Connell, Asuka was with them.
Glad to see you're safe.

My eyes fell upon, Gray Fullbuster, who was leaning up against a wall in a shadowed corner of the club. He was shirtless, and he didn't seem to be aware of that fact. I shook my head, a chuckle escaping me, some things never change. A woman with blue hair was with him and, after a closer look, I realized it was Juvia Lockser.

I looked back at the colorful dance floor and saw a flash of blood red hair mixed with light blue hair. I leaned a little to the left and was able to make out the forms of Erza Scarlet dancing with...Jellal Fernandes.
Ah, so, he finally got out of prisoner, eh? Or broke out. I had heard word that he had started up his own Guild. Crime Sorcière, it was called.

I smirked as I took another sip. Better not get yourself caught, darling. Satisfaction made itself known, it steadily filled me, along with pride. Everyone looked well and healthy. Happiness was practically radiating off of them. Amazing I haven't choked on it yet. It was so thick in the air, I thought I might drown in it.
I was glad. But...what were they all doing here? Awareness trickled in.
Something was about to go down.
I closed my eyes, they must be here the same reason that I was here.

I would have to leave soon.

If I knew my...former Guild Mates then things were going to go up in an uproar soon. And I could not be caught in the middle of it. No matter how much fun it sounded like. I paid for my two drinks and with one last lingering glance at everyone, I began to leave.

A pang of disappointment shot through me. I hadn't seen him here. Better that way. If I had, then I would be already half way over to the Fairy Tail Mages to announce how truly alive I was. I let out a breath as I dodged a dancing couple, if you could call what they were doing 'dancing'. I wrinkled my nose at the sight and moved on. I was doing my own sort of dancing. Weaving and carefully picking my way towards the front.
I reached up to make sure my hood was still firmly in place when I rammed right into a hard chest.

My nose gave a sharp throb and a hiss left me. I let out a growl and glanced up, rubbing at my nose as I did so. I was ready to go off on the bastard that had been in my way. My lips parted, my words crawling up my throat, ready to be released. My eyes fell onto his surprised looking green eyes and the words erupted into flames, burning into useless piles of ash.
My world seemed to stop. Hell, it did stop. It always stopped when he was near.
I didn't hear anything.
My hearing had vanished along with my world.
I couldn't feel anything.
Gone like my sanity.
I couldn't see anything.
Expect for the man before me.

His emerald eyes landed on me and I swear I couldn't breath. I was dying.
Of joy?
Or dread?
He put his calloused hands on my shoulders, and as he brushed past me, I heard him mutter an apology.
I should be the one saying those words.
I stood there, with my hands clutching my cloak in a death grip, frozen in shock and turmoil. He was leaving.
Leaving me again.
Without even knowing what he was leaving behind.

My lips parted, the word forming on my dry lips, clawing desperately to get free. Wait.
Please, wait. But, he didn't. They never do. My unspoken words fell into the silence of the air. I slowly looked over my shaking shoulder at the retreating man and blinked back tears. I watched, unable to tear my mourning gaze away, as he disappeared into the crowd. There was a flash of pink...then I couldn't see him anymore.
Come back.
The words howled their agony of not being able to free themselves in time, when they were most needed.
To late. To late to do anything.
Swiftly, I turned away and retreated over to a dark corner where I hid myself. I slumped up against it, my legs no longer able to support me. I covered my face with a shaking hand.
He is here.
He is here.
And, so what?
A voice that was not my own bashed its way into my mind.
Not like you can do anything.
The insidious voice hissed nastily.
I know. My own voice murmured back, no match for the viciousness that the other voice brought.
Yasssss, you. Can't. Do. Anything. Each word was punctuated with a hissy laugh that echoed in my tormented mind.
Yes...I know...

The voice had been with me for a long while now. Calling out to me with a killer's intent to destroy me. Reaching out and grabbing hold of me with it's ugly words. It was killing me ever so slowly.
And I was letting it.
I was losing my mind and I knew it.
Oddly, I didn't care. Not in the slightest. Until now. Even though the hideous voice was still whispering it's evil spell in the dark crevices of my mind, it was dull. The echo of it's evil voice was quieter. More subdued.

It had been since I'd bumped into him.

Nooooo, you can't ever get rid of me...
It whispered, trying to drag me under again. Besides, it's tone of voice became smug. I could already picture it's smirk of victory. Knowing it had me.
He didn't even recognize you.
I tensed, my blood turning into ice, my hand dropped limply away from my pale face.
He...he hadn't recognized me?
Yassss, and even if he did, do you really think he would have acted upon it?
I tried to reason with the voice and my growing doubt.
But, he couldn't have seen my face very well. With all the flashing lights and my hood and-
ENOUGH! The voice suddenly roared, causing me to shrink in on myself. You know, as well as I, that he doesn't want you back!
But-
NONE OF THEM DO!
I jerked as if I had been slapped, I felt like I had. I pressed a fist to my watering eyes. But...they-they were my family...they said that they...trusted me. I had to hold in a sob. Already I was getting strange looks, but I ignored them all. I was solely focused on my battle with my mind. Surely...that must mean that they-that they-
What? Cared for you?
The voice spitted the words out like they were poison. Even LOVED you? There was that word again, 'love.' It had appeared in my life so many times before and it had also caused me grate pain.
And the voice marveled in using that word to bring on even more pain for me. Don't kid yourself, girl. Nobody wants you or to love you. You don't get love.
You only get hatred and violence. As it should be.

I wanted the demonic voice to go away, to take it's monstrous words with it, and disappear. But, things just don't go my way. It was always with me.
When I was awake.
When I was asleep.
It was always there.
Hiding itself in the corners of my mind. Ready to strike and launch its attack. It had risen up to become part of my mind when I had left Magnolia two years ago. And it had not gone away ever since. The only thing that has kept me going this long, was to keep my Guild, my family, safe.

Even if what the voice was saying was correct and they didn't love or care for me anymore, if they ever truly did. Even if they were all glad I was gone...even if he was happy I was gone. I still loved them all.
And I still wanted to keep them safe.
Such thoughts belong to ignorant fools.
Then I suppose I am an 'ignorant fool' then. I shot back, trying to shove the voice away.
Yassss, I suppose you are, girl.
With those last hissed words, it retreated back into my mind, leaving me alone for now. I let out a breath of relief. My energy was gone. It always left me drained when I fought with the other voice that lived in my scattered mind. Sometimes I wondered if I had lost it. That my sanity had abandoned me a long time ago. Leaving behind a lifeless girl, and a horrific voice.

When had I changed so much, that even I myself, couldn't even recognize me.

I had to get out of here. It was to confining. I felt trapped. More so then usually. Get out, now! I threw myself back into the throng of people. Blissfully unaware of the internal struggle I had just fought my way out of. I moved around the dancing bodies quickly. I was drowning. Drowning in a sea of lights, music, and to many people. A whining noise had already began to fill my ears. White dots appeared in my vision, but I still kept pushing forward. I was so close.
I could already see the light of the moon and hear the small putter patter of rain falling onto the waiting ground below. So...close.

A small hand encircled my wrist, stopping me in my tracks.
What?
I whipped my head up, expecting to meet the eyes of a man, only to meet the back of a dancing woman's head. Confusion marred my expression, until I felt a tugging on my wrist, and I looked down this time. My eyes locked onto the eyes of non other then Asuka. The little gun slinger was the one who had grabbed my wrist. Stopping me from reaching my freedom. She was smiling up at me with a big toothy, white grin on her small face. She still held tightly onto my wrist, as if afraid I would run. She had the right to worry about that. "You're the woman who helped me yesterday!" She exclaimed, recognition still dancing in her purple eyes. "What are you doing here?" I blinked down at her and tried to wrench my wrist away from her.
I was suffocating.
It was all to much.

She wouldn't let me go, though. I shook my head at her and pointed to the door. Indicating that I had to leave. A disappointing look crossed her delicate features before her grip on me began to loosen. "I'm sad you have to go-" She was so close to letting me go when a male voice called out her name. Instinctively, her grip once again tightened around my wrist. We both looked over toward where the male's voice had originated from.

My heart stopped beating.
Then picked up until it was matching the wild tempo of the music that was still blasting.
Ba-dum-Ba-dum-Ba-dum-
Wild, spiky cherry blossom hair that resembled the petals on the trees in full bloom.
Ba-dum-Ba-dum-Ba-dum-
A fanged tooth, full blown smile, brighter then the very flames he used adorned his face.
Ba-dum-Ba-dum-Ba-dum-
Eyes, greener then the brightest of emerald stones, danced with a ferocity of a Dragon's.
Ba-dum-Ba-dum-Ba-dum-
The scaly, off white scarf that he always wore, was, like it always will be, wrapped around his neck. The end of it swaying lightly back and forth with every powerful step he took.
Ba-dum-Ba-dum-Ba-dum-
And he was coming straight towards me.
Ba-dum-Ba-dum-Ba-dum-
Natsu Dragneel, who I hadn't seen in years, who my heart was empty without, was now only an arms length away. And the sweetest torture?
I couldn't even touch him.

Those intense eyes that had haunted my dreams for ages, glanced to me for a moment, just a second, before his full attention went to the small girl who he had called out for.
He's not here for you, remember?
"Asuka, Al and Bisca are looking for ya." He said with a smile that stopped my heart. The smile stretched the skin on his scar...and I wondered if that caused him any pain or discomfort. If it did, he didn't show it. Asuka nodded apologetically to Natsu before pointing up at me.

"Natsu! This is the woman I was telling you about!" She told him excitedly, bouncing on her feet. And then, I found myself pinned under his gaze. Natsu's eyes searched for mine underneath the hood, but I kept my face out of sight.
'Doesn't want to see you'
What seemed like ages had passed with him just staring at me, before he tilted his head to the side, and a big grin spread across his features.
'Doesn't love you'
There it was.

That real smile that he always had. He had lost it for a while. But he had found it again. I missed it. I missed him. Do you miss me?
'Doesn't care'
"Thanks for helping, Asuka." He thanked me, that smile still plastered onto his scarred face. I wanted to reach out. To touch. To feel. To swipe my thumb over the raised pink tissue to get it off. Kind of like I wished to do to all of our missing time. To just wipe it all away, as if it had never truly happened. But, it had. And no matter how many times I would rub at it, it would stay, like a scar.

I don't know how I managed to do it, but I forced myself to look away. Even though the part of my mind that was not haunted let out a cry of protest.
How was I to know if this was the last time I would ever see him again? What if he would disappear, like he always did in my dreams? It's best not to look. It's best to look away.
It's best if he does disappear.
With a sharp tug, I finally managed to rip away from Asuka's grip.
I was free, yet I wasn't.
I spun and tried to make it to the door again. Only I was stopped when a warm hand grabbed my shoulder.
No! Don't let anything stop you. Keep going! Escape!

My head was throbbing and my vision was swimming. I tore away from the grip with a hard jerk of my shoulder. A ripping sound filled my ears, my blood freezing to ice at the sound. My body turned to stone as my cloak fluttered like a feather to the floor. Not even realizing what it had done. As my cloak fell to the ground in a heap.
As my heart stopped.
As my breathing quickened and my lungs shriveled up.
I looked up at Natsu with wide, shaking eyes.

NO! Ah, the voice had made itself known again. Run! Escape! Leave!
He doesn't want you!
The uproar that the voice was making was already dull. My attention was on the person in front of me.

Natsu was staring at me in open shock. His eyes flickered with too many emotions for me to decipher. His mouth was agape, a whoosh of air came from between his parted lips. His body was rigid, frozen, just like mine.
We were both enraptured by each other.

Asuka didn't even seem to be there anymore. Nobody did. The people, the pumping music, the flashing lights, they were all gone.

I only saw him.

He only saw me.

We only saw one another.

"F-Fey?" He said, his voice low, fear and disbelief twisted in his tone.
Say it again. It had been so long since someone had said my name. Too long.
My heart warmed at the nickname that he had given me all those years ago. Only he could say it, anyone else who would dare repeat it, left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Once again, so many emotions flashed in his eyes, and this time I did try to make them all out before they vanished back into his green depths.

Fear.

Incredibility.

Disbelief.

Sadness.

Hope.

And they finally glistened with complete and utter joy.
LIES! All lies! So many lies!
I was breathing hard, my heart ready to burst at any moment.
Lies? Can you fake emotions that are this intense?
I awaited for the voices answer, only not to hear anything. Guess not, eh? Still, I was not completely convinced. The ugly words that the second voice had whispered in my mind still echoed throughout it.
Are they all lies, Natsu?
My body was shaking uncontrollably. I couldn't control my breathing. No matter how many shallow breaths I took in, my lungs refused to accept them. My knees were about to fold in on themselves. My arms hung limply by my side, useless, just like the rest of me.

Well, Natsu, why don't I say hello? Like old times. And, if you really hate me, then I shall know.
I took a deep breath, focused my breathing, and centered myself. I could do this, then I could run and never look back. I gathered what little courage I had left, raised my hand, flicked my rigid wrist, and a weak smile made its way to my numb face.
Then, I whispered the first words I have said to him in over six years.
"Hey, Natsu, did you miss me?"
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I dedicate this chapter to my new friend, nightmare798
*NEW BOOK*
Everyone, I have published a one shot book on my account.
It is called Bonus Stories and I have already published a NaLu one.
I do take requests:)
Just tell me what ship you want me to write.
What situation you would like to see them in.
And tell me the genre of what you would like them to be in, as well.
(Angst, romance, hate, happiness, ETC)
Thank you!