Shintaro was standing in front of the large lake, his eyes skimming along the smooth, rippling surface of the water. He stared wonderingly at the large birds, small mammals, and fluttering reeds that surrounded the body of water. He was always so amazed that such wildlife would choose to live in his family's backyard, especially since their house was so isolated from the rest of society, Shintaro figured even the animals wouldn't be able to find them, either. 

He often wondered why his father had chosen to live in the middle of nowhere, even though Brethren was always busy, going to and from the house at any given time in the day. His arrival from his "job" was never on a specific time, which made Shintaro's days terrifying and anxious filled. 

Surprisingly, he found peace by staring into the water of the lake and admiring the wildlife around it. He had never been taught how to swim, so he kept a safe distance from the parts of the lake that he could slip in. 

The lake was surrounded by a ledge that dropped into the lake, which was deep enough that Shintaro couldn't see the bottom even when he was leaning over just the edge. The ledge immediately dropped off into the pit of the water, turning into a dark abyss of water. 

Shintaro sighed and lowered himself onto his knees on the tallest ledge, leaning forward onto his stomach and propping himself up on his elbows. His shoulder length, wispy white hair slid down his shoulders and obscured his peripheral vision, but he didn't care. 

A lone duck floated toward him, quacking joyously and flipping its tail in the water, sending frenzied ripples dispersing behind it. Shintaro watched it with a small smile on his lips, having never seen a male duck up close. He'd always admired the life from a distance, because his brother, Cami, had gotten to close to a male goose and gotten nipped in the butt twice. 

The duck swam closer, and Shintaro inched forward slowly, cautiously. He was pretty sure that ducks didn't attack people like angry geese did, and he was genuinely curious about this peculiar creature. It didn't seem afraid of humans, so Shintaro shouldn't have been afraid of it. 

When the duck quacked in alarm and opened its wings to fly away, Shintaro realized he'd gone too far.

He plunged into the icy water, barely managing to clamp his mouth over his scream before water rushed over his head, wrapping him in its cold grip. 

Shintaro immediately went into panic mode. His legs kicked wildly under him, brushing seaweed and algae but not finding the bottom. His arms clawed at the water above him, his eyes open, stinging, and trained on the globe of light above his head. His chest was burning because he hadn't gotten enough air before dropping into the water, where he couldn't gain oxygen to suck in a single breath. His clothes felt weightless and heavy at the same time, floating around his body yet dragging him deeper into the darkness. His air billowed around him like a halo, but he batted it away to keep fighting upward. 

His lungs screamed in protest, and his mouth opened involuntarily to try to fill with air. His stomach clenched, and his lungs only filled with water, causing burning fire to course through his chest and bubbles to explode from his mouth. 

He was going to die. 

He was going to drown and sink to the bottom, and his father wouldn't even try to drag him back out. 

He was going to die down in the blackness that was taking him deeper and deeper. 

Shintaro stopped flailing, the strength in his body gone. His chest felt like someone had poured gasoline down his windpipe and lit his lungs on fire from the inside out, its acid-like tendrils licking at his throat. 

He dared not open his mouth again, but his body was telling him to give in, to sink to the bottom and die a lonely death. Maybe he would finally find peace, without his father's face haunting him in his dreams.

From above came a muffled splash, and Shintaro flung his head back, his hair drifting back with him. He was sinking farther away from the surface, unable to move. 

But there was someone. 

There was someone coming to get him.

A small, skinny figure with an indistinct, determined and worried frown came swimming downward toward him, extending his small hands desperately. He was reaching for Shintaro. He was coming to get him. 

He was coming to save him.

Shintaro, through the hazy pain in his lungs, lifted his arms and grabbed his brother's hands.

~

Shintaro jolted on the couch, his eyes flying open and body immediately tensing. He opened his mouth and gulped for air, feeling as if he hadn't breathed in hours. The pain in his lungs was gone, only a distant memory in his mind. He gasped in and out his back for several seconds, grateful that the dream was gone. 

"Daddy?" Abby's small voice asked groggily from his side, followed shortly by a tired yawn. 

Shintaro shakily sat up, wiping his face clean of any lingering terror that he was feeling in his stomach. He shoved his hands under the blankets to hide their trembling, turning his head to look at his daughter.

Abby was propped on one elbow, rubbing her eyes with her other hand and blinking confusedly up at him. "Are you okay?" 

Shintaro forced his mouth to give her a small, knowing and grateful smile. "I'm alright." He forced down a shaky breath that his lungs were wanting him to take and balled his hands into fists under the soft blanket. 

Abby began to frown a little, looking more awake than she had been a few moments ago. "Are you sure? You sounded like you were having trouble breathing." She looked him up and down nervously, her eyebrows furrowed in worry. 

Shintaro shook his head swiftly. "I'm alright, Abby. Thank you for asking." He looked away from her and bit the inside of his cheek to force down the shaking in his shoulders. 

That moment in his life had brought on yet another fear - suffocation, not just from water or lack of air, but from emotions as well. Many times, Shintaro would get so overwhelmed by fear or shock or hate that he would pause his breathing for long periods of time, terrifying himself. 

"Okay," Abby said shortly, lowering herself down into her sleeping bag again. When Shintaro turned to look at her, he saw that she looked defeated, small and helpless. "Just... try to go back to sleep. It's not even dawn yet." She closed her eyes and shut him out. 

Shintaro sighed deeply, feeling a sharp pang of guilt in his chest. He hated that he had pushed her away, he hated the fact that he couldn't - literally couldn't - talk about his past without a small flashback that he didn't want to see. 

He couldn't talk to them.

He couldn't.

He didn't really want to anyway.

~

Second chapter!!! Oh my gosh I'm so excited. 

Sorry these chapters are kinda mostly memories and recaps and stuff, but hey

I think that's a good way to start a book. 

And I'm going to have so much fun showing y'all Shintaro's horrible childhood through flashback memories of hisssssssss-

And yes, sister, he basically has PTSD. 

HA. 

Well, on that nice note, 

P3ac3!!!~~~