"Surround yourself with people who make you feel caffeinated." ~Karen Salmansohn

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"Hello, this is-"
"Can I have a root beer float?"
"Excuse me?"
"Yeah, you heard me."
"I'm sorry, but, this is Split Beans Coffee...?"
"Precisely."
"What? What are you up to?"
"Who are you?"
"Who are you?"
"I asked you first."
"I was born first."
"How would you know?"
"Magic."
"Magic doesn't exist dumbass."
"Or does it?"
"I'm the geek here."
"How do you know?"
"..."
"Precisely."
"..."
"..."
"Wait, did you just hang up?"