•••

unwrapping the white cloth from her hands, lily watches her father smile, swelling with the thought of how he would be able to get more cigarettes and alcohol for the weekend. his small salary isn't usually enough for all that he has grown a habit of spending over the years. lily never tried to understand him, his constant cries of need for money and how he loved grumbling to himself after laying his drunk ass on the couch or sometimes on the carpet itself if he couldn't stand up anymore.

it's not a new scene unfolding before her eyes as jaesung collects the bills and shoves them in his pocket, leaving a single crinkled bill of the least value among the rest of it's kind. he says nothing and scurries over to the side of the room, stuffing his dirty sock laden feet into the only pair of black shoes that he owns and stumbles towards the front door with an urgency that matches his addiction.

lily sighs softly and stands up from the couch, locking the door close, relieved that he won't come back until midnight at least. it's almost eight right now, which means she has plenty of time before her father returns and starts acting like a dick that he is. she picks up her stuff, the bandages that are so dirty that if they had a mouth, they would puke first, then beg for her to wash them. lily cringes at herself, realising that all of her clothes are actually in need of cleaning up including her room. it's a miracle she's not stinking yet. or maybe she is and just doesn't notice?

the thought makes her gag and she quickly rushes up to her room, leaving everything aside to first take a shower and get herself cleaned. she wishes to be like other girls in her class who just sit under the shade, share gossip with each other, and don't have to go out of their way to earn money or learn boxing to defend themselves. she hates how she's sweaty half of the day, running from one place to another, convince people that she's not 'too young' to do whatever the heck they wanted in exchange of money.

the worse she ever faced was a old man asking if she was up for a good time, which didn't make sense to lily, but sensing the creepy vibe of him, she had politely declined his offer of wherever he wanted to take her that evening. although she sometimes wonders if he actually had a good deal for her that would pay well, so that she could stuff her father's mouth with that money to have him shut up.

he's annoying when he doesn't get his daily bottle of liquor and pack of cigarettes. lily learnt this ever since she was seven. grew accustomed to the routine so much that she could draw out the pattern and realised that it was the absence of alcohol and cigarettes that drove him nuts to the point where he wouldn't care if he's hurting himself or lily. mostly lily.

so to feed him enough, especially since he started sending her out to get some money home, she made sure that the table in front of him was never empty. she was okay with sleeping on an empty stomach, but never with her father left hanging for his addiction. she usually worked in convenience stores after school, cafés or restaurants sometimes, or both if she got lucky considering that they always made sure to pay her. first, because she's still so young. and second because she agrees to work till a bit late too, when the other girls start complaining to go home.

they always said that it's not okay to make girls work at night, as it gets too late by the time they reach home and the streets aren't very safe for them. however, for lily nothing seemed like a big issue when her own house has the monster called 'dad'. nothing could be scarier than being hurt by your own father, lily believes. she has been living with him since six years of age, when the youngest of her elder brothers- jungkook, left busan for his training to become an idol. he used to say it was his dream and he wanted to accomplish that dream anyhow.

now lily watches him on tv sometimes when she has nothing better to do, wanting to see how good of a life jungkook has made for himself out of her tears and their abusive father's addiction.

he used to get hit too. jaesung never showed any mercy on any neither jungkook nor lily. just that jungkook found a way to escape the harsh reality and took himself out to live his dream, while lily is still stuck, awfully used to this shitty life. it doesn't even hurt now. but she still wonders sometimes if jungkook thinks of her, like she gets his thought once in a while. too frequently for her liking because he's everywhere. on the streets there are his posters and banners, on the billboards, advertisements big and small. even everyone in her school keeps talking about him and the shit group that includes the two eldest brothers as well. jimin and taehyung.

they are called bts together.

apparently their music is awesome, they've got good voices and pretty faces. all seven of them. but only lily knows how fake all of that is, especially talking about her brothers. she has no grudges with the other four members, but that doesn't mean she's into them. nope. never. bts might be the world's biggest boy band or whatever the fuck it's called, but for lily, she'd rather listen to her father yelling at her than her brothers singing.

they probably have no idea how much of a wreck her life is. the shit she has to go through everyday while they get to live midst glory and glamour. millions of people rooting for them all the time, loving them and blessing them with heartfelt gazes and love-struck eyes. lily's only ever got a glare for the mistakes that aren't even hers.

jimin, taehyung and jungkook unfortunately still remember her. they send her gifts around her birthday and christmas. they didn't send anything in the beginning, bur ever since their group has been making progress, she started receiving presents. the first one was probably on her eighth birthday. it was a big teddy bear that jaesung did not like and threw it away, saying that it was taking unnecessary space in the house.

lily was a bit upset that day, staring from the window as the man who took the trash from garbage bins picked up the teddy bear, annoyed because he couldn't fit it in his trolly and had to drag it by hand. after that day, she never kept any of her brothers' presents and grew up to eventually not liking any of their stuff, especially if it were their merch. with a few more years passing, her hatred for her brothers only kept increasing as they were suddenly all around her, on the tv, outside the house, in school everywhere.

lily doesn't like jungkook's face smiling at her everywhere she goes. it's like a reminder that she's nowhere close to having a better life that her brothers have already created for themselves, leaving her alone midst the darkness to deal with. it makes her hate herself for not being older, for not being capable enough of taking care of herself. or else she would've left this place as well and started a new life, a hopefully better one. no one likes to be cursed at and get hit by their drunk father.

she was six when jungkook left. he used to love her a lot and protect her from jaesung in every way he could. even took the beating at times just so the crazy father wouldn't touch lily. maybe he got tired of doing that? maybe he realised that she was still very young to do anything and would take at least ten or twelve more years until she actually becomes strong enough to face their father, and jungkook didn't have that much time. he couldn't possibly keep his dreams waiting for that long.

so he left.

with tears in his eyes as lily still remembers crying and begging him not to leave her. it certainly broke his heart to leave his sister under the care of such an awful dad. it hurt him so much that he never wished to see her again. notice the sarcasm folks. lily waited for a while, then accepted that he's an idol now and he doesn't need her. in fact he never needed her. she was the one who needed support and care, some assurance and love from him because he was her elder brother.

but not anymore. lily found out about this club in her school, an older boy from his senior year in high school who was good in martial arts, teaching younger kids what he knew. he was a boxer and also was pretty good in jiu jitsu. lily decided to learn boxing at thirteen, around the time when jungkook came to see her for the very first time ever since he left. he looked happy and guilty at the same time.

he came alone. jimin and taehyung weren't with him because according to what he said, one of them had fallen ill and couldn't make it. lily wasn't close to them anyway. not after her mother's death at least. she was four when that happened, five when jaesung got her and jungkook's custody from jimin, and six when jungkook left her too.

so back when jungkook came to see her, lily didn't try to make him feel welcomed, never attempted to talk to him made sure that he knows how much his presence bothered her. maybe that was the reason he hasn't been able to show the courage to come back home again. it's been two years to that day, and lily has heard that bts is going to hold a concert in her home city for their band's anniversary this year. it's ridiculous when the festa time arrives and suddenly eveything around her turns purple.

she just hopes that jungkook, with or without jimin and taehyung, won't come home.

•••

"have you taken eveything?" jungkook hums in response to taehyung's question, staring mindlessly at the mug in his hand. it's one of their merch, his bt21 character, cooky, smiling along with tata, chimmy and mang.

"guys, we're leav-"

"oh, jungkook?" it's jimin who enters the room with a smile, grinning about something their eldest member said. his eyes drop to jungkook sitting on bed while taehyung is the one doing the last bit of packing for the younger. "are you okay?" jimin asks, rubbing jungkook's shoulder, making him nod slowly, heaving out a tired breath, "you can tell us, kook. are you worried about something?"

"we're going to busan, jim," taehyung sighs, "it's always the same,"

jimin nods subtly, sighing as well. he sits beside the youngest, smiling sadly at the mug in his hand, "i haven't seen lily for what- like ten years? she was five when we left..."

"yeah," taehyung hums, "let's go see her this time?"

"definitely," jimin smiles, "she must've grown up a lot. do you think she'd look like mom?"

"she has her eyes. i'm sure she must be a pretty little lady," taehyung chuckles, glancing at jungkook, who doesn't find anything worth smiling. the elder boys turn to him, giving a gentle rub on his back in order to comfort him, although he just retrieves back, shaking his head.

"she hates me,"

"you have your reasons for leaving, kook. we'll talk to her. i'm sure she'll understand," jimin assures.

"i doubt that. i don't even know if she'd wanna see me or not. the last time i met her it was so fucking bad. i could barely breathe there... there in that house," jungkook rubs his eyes, leaning on his knees as he buries his face in his hands, groaning in frustration, "her eyes, hyung. they held so much hatred? disgust...? i don't know, but it felt like she didn't want me there. she didn't wanna see me. she just wanted me to leave her... like i did in the beginning,"

"she's a kid, jungkook. she must be mad, and that's okay. she has every right to be mad at us. we haven't been the best brothers honestly," taehyung sighs, "i hate myself for never reaching out to her. we say we're busy but, it's really just that all three of us have been total cowards to face lily. because we know what we did was wrong and if she's hating us today, it's all because of us,"

"you're right," jimin says, brushing his hair back and looks down, "i hope we can apologise to her this time,"

jungkook hums to that, hoping that when they see lily now, she would be willing to meet them and not just fulfilling some kind of formality. the boys would love to have her come to their concert and watch them perform live for the first time, but that feels like a far fetched dream for now when they're not even sure if their sister even loves them or not. jungkook does feel like an asshole for leaving and failing to make time to see her or even just talk to her on the phone, and it's never going to let him sleep peacefully knowing that he's the one who put his relationship with his ten years younger sister at stake for his career.

apologies and explanations are not enough to cover up for his and his brothers' behaviour.

"are you guys ready? everyone's waiting," the leader knocks on the door, standing by the doorway since it's not closed. taehyung nods, dragging two suitcases with him while jimin takes the third one and namjoon offers to help with the fourth one. jungkook stands up quietly, following the elders after putting on a bucket hat and his mask.

"kook? are you okay?" the leader asks, his voice coated with concern, making the younger nod once. "are you sure? we can talk if you want,"

"i'm fine," he clears his throat, "where are we staying in busan?"

"ah we've got a hotel. but if you, jimin and tae want, you can stay at your father's place. it's been pretty long since you went home," namjoon smiles softly at the younger.

"uh yeah, we'll- we'll see," jungkook massages his temples, walking a bit faster and leaves the elder confused.

"what happened to him?" namjoon asks, walking beside jimin, getting a tired aigh from him.

"he's worried about going home. lily- i mean our sister, she's not very fond of us,"

"oh yeah, you told us," the elder hums slowly, patting jimin's back, "i think you should go and talk. it's gonna be okay,"

"i hope so," jimin smiles to return namjoon's soft look of assurance.

the whole way to the airport, jungkook sat with his ear pods playing some r&b music to distract him from the worried looks his hyungs couldn't hide. it's annoying to have people staring at him with that pity, and especially the concern that he knows he doesn't deserve. even the love he receives from his fans feels empty when his mind forces him to look back, telling him that all this fame and name came because he left his sister alone. their father doesn't behave like a father and jungkook left his six-year-old sister with that man for the life he's living today.

ignoring his hyungs, jungkook forces himself to only listen to the music playing right in his ears, blocking all noises from outside. boarding the flight, he finds himself the most distant seat and shuts his eyes close, leaning back against the seat until he falls asleep. the flight isn't long, but enough to let him have an hour long nap until hoseok wakes him up to inform that they're about to land. now jungkook wishes the flight to be longer, that way he would at least have some time to prepare himself to face lily.

"do you wanna go to the hotel first?" taehyung asks, checking his phone one last time before slipping it in the pocket of his pants. jungkook nods slowly, cracking his neck and looks around to find a bottle of water. taehyung gives him one from his place, glancing over at jimin who's busy having some serious talk with their eldest member.

"you wanna go home?" jungkook asks.

taehyung thinks for a moment, barely feeling any attachment, since he never lived there, and the fact that jaesung is the owner of the house, taehyung isn't sure about visiting that place. but it has lily too and that's enough of a reason. yet he shrugs his shoulders, "i'm okay with whatever you and jim wanna do," he says, "i just wanna see lily. be it anywhere,"

"can we call her or something?" jungkook grumbles, touching his forehead, "god, my head's gonna explode,"

"you took a painkiller earlier, right?"

"it didn't work," the younger sighs, "anyway, i think we can send someone to pick lily up from home and bring her to our hotel? i really don't wanna see jaesung,"

"i understand," taehyung hums, patting jungkook's back, "let's go to the hotel for now. we'll think what to do after,"

stepping on the land of busan isn't much different that of seoul other than the guilt that seems to make each step heavier than the last one as the brothers make their way out of the airport, instantly met by crowds of paparazzi and armys waiting for them. jungkook has to bear the noise for a while to the moment he gets in the car waiting for him and his two brothers, shutting door almost instantly to escape the loud screaming and sounds of cameras clicking. how did he even live these nine years as an idol?

people think he has undiagnosed adhd. but he knows it's just his sister's crying voice from back before he left and the hatred he saw in her eyes when he met her two years ago that's driving him towards insanity painfully slow.

"to the hotel, sir?" the driver asks, getting a glare from jungkook.

"where else?" he snaps.

"kook," jimin gives him a look, "it's alright. he's just doing his job,"

"we're sorry. he's not feel that great," taehyung smiles a little, getting an apologetic look from the driver, who instantly starts driving behind the rest of the cars, following them to the hotel.

"fuck," jungkook groans to himself, massaging his forehead with his hand that has started to tremble now.

"is it hurting too bad?" taehyung asks.

"no, i'm okay," jungkook hushes out, "i'm fine. i just gotta sleep, or maybe get a drink,"

"don't drink," jimin sighs softly, "look, we know you're worried about lily, but please stop hurting yourself like this. we have a show here. you have to perform in two days, bud. remember that,"

"he's right," taehyung nods, "it might piss you off right now. but you don't really have an option. we can't keep armys waiting,"

"i know," jungkook looks out of the window, "that's why lily had to wait..."

nobody says anything after that, having nothing so strong that would actually stand against the truth to defend themselves. arriving at the hotel, jungkook turns to face the elders, "i'm gonna hit the gym," he says briefly.

"wait, aren't you-"

"i'll come back soon, don't worry," he says, handing his hat to jimin and walks over to the reception to ask if they even have a gym or not. fortunately they do have one and it's actually under their agency for the time they're staying here, considering that jungkook really needs a gym and the other members too have their own workout routines.

jungkook heads in the direction that the reception lady told him, finding the the door to the gym soon and takes a deep breath. he takes off his shirt, pushing his hair back and starts with some stretches, gradually picking up from there determined to exhaust himself until he can't even think anymore and just fall asleep as soon as he lays on the bed.

meanwhile taehyung and jimin are sitting together in jimin's room, both worried for their younger brother. taehyung takes a sip of water, picking up his phone to check the time, "he won't be back until midnight," he hums, and jimin catches the sight of the screen, realising that it's nine already.

"he's just really disturbed with everything," jimin lets out, laying back on the bed while his legs still hang down and arms folded to support his head.

"i get that. it's hard for him. for us too," taehyung mumbles, "y'know jimin, i don't know what to... like, jungkook is at least feeling something right? i don't even feel anything and it's so fucking weird. it's suffocating. i'm gonna see my sister, our sister, jimin... after years, but i don't feel anything... something's very wrong with me,"

jimin stares at taehyung with a soft gaze, his eyes mimicking the tears that is blurring taehyung's vision as well.

"i should be nervous. i should be- i should be restless or just fucking anything instead sitting numb here," he groans, grabbing his hair as he lowers his head against his arms, "i don't know what to do... what to feel, jimin and it's making it hard to breathe like this. she was so young when we left... i have no idea how we even managed to let go of her. she used to- she used to cry for us, jimin, remember?"

a tear slips from jimin's eye, staring at the ceiling above him while taehyung lifts up his head to look at jimin urgently with his eyes gleaming with tears. "she was five and jaesung isn't a man to-" taehyung inhales sharply, nibbling on his lip, dropping a few tears from his eyes as well and watches how jimin closes his eyes too, letting the guilt course down his locks, "we're so heartless... all three of us. we left our kid with that man. if i were her, i would hate us too,"

jimin sniffs softly, rubbing his eyes and nods slowly, "we've been the worst brothers,"

"we have," taehyung hushes out.

"do you think she'll be able to forgive us?"

"i don't know. i honestly don't know,"

•••

"clean the table inside, lily," the elder worker says as he's picking up the dirty dishes and bringing them to the kitchen. lily gives him a nod, leaving her milkshake that he said she can take since a customer cancelled their order. she takes the mop from the counter and slips down from her stool, heading inside to the private dining hall which usually meant special reservations, like big birthday parties or get-togethers of rich people.

she hums to a song, cleaning the centre round table and fixes the chairs precisely, knowing that she must do her job properly to impress the owner of the restaurant, who promised to give her some extra money if she stayed by to help yeonjun, the guy who let her take the milkshake. he's a nice guy, recently completed high school and is now struggling to gather money for his college. lily met him last year when they both were being scolded for messing up an order of a customer.

"we'll be serving here today," yeonjun says, handing a clean apron to lily as soon as he enters the dining and looks around to make sure everything is ready.

"me and you? what about hansung oppa?"

"he wasn't feeling well so he went home early," he says, "that's why you're staying back to help me, silly lily,"

lily scrunches her face at the nickname, making yeonjun laugh as he ruffles her hair and takes a seat on one of the chairs. lily sits beside him and asks, "who's coming here?"

"i don't know. seong just said that you and me will be here. but it's some important people and we cannot mess up,"

"we don't mess up, yeonjun oppa. don't worry," lily giggles, "but yeah, i do think that one more person could help us,"

"i agree," he sighs dramatically, making lily grin as she stands up and pulls his hand, leading outside where she's yet to finish her milkshake.

yeonjun goes back to work, taking orders and bringing up the food on the tables with other waiters and waitresses minding their own business as well. nobody here gets to sit idle. lily quickly sips her drink finish and returns to her place which is with the cashier today. she takes up the bills and brings it to the customers along with any additional servings if the other waiters are busy.

one good thing about this place is that everybody seems to understand that lily's still a kid and must be treated like one. she's not given any heavy works and usually stays to help the main workers, and to fill in for people who are absent. like hansung today. the owner of the restaurant is a middle aged man who's wife died in a road accident a few years back, and this restaurant is a tribute to her as she wanted to own a place where people found comfort and good food.

working here is a lot better for lily than the last place where she had to work under literal jerks. the couple who owned the café saw her and the other waiters as their slaves, no respect, less payment and constant nagging. lily had once taken a drink back then, she was fourteen, and the woman got so furious that she made her wash all the dishes. it took over four hours and a few tears from lily to complete the task, but she was able to make it home with the daily money by ten o'clock.

here mr lee tells the workers that if an order is cancelled at the last minute, any of them can have it instead of throwing it away. yeonjun mostly gave his parts to lily or tried to divide it into half if the girl refused to eat what belonged to his plate, considering that he worked hard too and deserves equal shares of food.

"your check, sir," lily voices politely, placing the black check holder on the table before picking up the last dishes after one of her elder coworkers.

"thank you," the man says with a smile. he's with his family which includes his wife and two kids. the son looking lily's age and the daughter seems a little younger. "aren't you too young to be working here?"

"uh yeah," lily smiles a little, "but i can do it,"

the couple smiles at her as she bows politely, carrying the tray carefully to the kitchen, and hears the elder girl chuckle. "lily keeps catching everybody's eye," she says, taking the tray from her and puts it by the sink. "go, get the check,"

lily nods, quickly returning to the table where the couple seems to be waiting for her. the wife smiles at her, standing up with her husband and kids, and leans forward with a few dollar bills. lily stares at the money and then at the lady, hesitating to accept it because she's not the one who served them. it's anaya's money. she was attending this family's lunch.

"i'll call unnie," lily mumbles, only to be stopped by the lady as she hands her the money and chuckles.

"her tip is with the check," she tells lily, "this is yours,"

"but i didn't serve you,"

"you did. you brought us our check and also help that waitress,"

lily smiles at the sum in her hand, then looks up at the couple, "thank you ma'am, and sir," she bows to them again.

"you're welcome," they give her a smile before walking out of the restaurant. lily grins at herself, happy with her first ever tip because before this everyone gave her sympathy and not money.

"lily, come here. the guests are about to arrive," yeonjun pats her back, leading her to the lobby and takes off his apron, "we're supposed to change into the uniform," he says, pulling out his clothes from his duffle bag that he brings here every day. the uniform, which is a black skirt and a white t-shirt for the girls, whereas black slacks, and white t-shirt for the guys. a bow tie is common for both. lily said the skirt is irritating and too short for her, to which the elder girls agreed too. it ended up being short because they didn't have her size when she joined and when they got a skirt altered to fit her tiny waist without looking awkward with the length as well, it accidentally became too small.

then the solution was brought up by lily herself when she asked mr. lee if she can wear shorts instead. the man agreed quickly and allowed her to wear shorts to work. the girls often complimented her on how cute she looked with those black shorts not too loose and neither too tight, white t-shirt and a black bow tie sitting confidently around the collar of the t-shirt.

lily has her school bag too where she keeps her uniform. she brings it out, telling yeonjun that she won't take long and walks to the restroom. in one of the stalls, lily gets changed quickly, tucking her t-shirt inside the shorts and jumps a little to pull the pants up and button them on her waist. then she hurriedly folds up her worn clothes, stuffing them in her bag and steps out to stand in front of the mirror.

"oh hey, lily. you're helping yeonjun with the guests?" anaya's there, washing her hands.

"yes," lily nods, "do i look okay? i heard they're important people, i don't wanna go looking bad in front of them,"

"ah c'mere," anaya smiles at her and tells lily to wash her face. she pulls out a moisturizer, lip balm and a hair brush from her purse, helping the young girl look more refreshed. lily smacks her lips, stretching them into a smile and turns to anaya, doing a spin in her place to show the elder.

"perfect- oh wait, turn around," anaya says and fixes lily's shirt from the back, tucking it under the belt of the pants neatly, "now you look perfect," she touches lily's hair that she tied into a pony tail, leaving only the baby hair to stick out on her forehead.

"thanks unnie," lily gives her a quick hug, "now i've to go. yeonjun oppa said they're about to arrive," with that she waves at anaya, running out of the restroom and realises that yeonjun is already gone. maybe the special guest arrived?

lily peeks through the window, watching three black cars that have stopped in front of the restaurant. mr lee is standing there to greet them and that confirms that whoever these people are, they are freaking important. yeonjun and a few other workers are accompanying mr lee, bowing with him to the guest as they step out of the cars. that's when lily's fascination takes a complete opposite turn, leaving her gut chruning with a wierd feeling on seeing that it's bts who have showed up.

lily rolls her eyes, hearing the girls squealing with excitement such that they even forget they already have customers waiting. the seven world famous boys enter the restaurant, lead by mr lee as he shows them towards their reserved room for the afternoon. yeonjun looks over at lily, gesturing her to come quickly.

lily nibbles on her lip, the lip balm tasting like strawberry on her tongue, but that's beyond her concern right now. she takes a deep breath, thinking of ways to avoid going in front of bts. maybe she can swap with someone who would be willing to be the boys' waiter for the afternoon? yeah, she should just go and talk to mr lee and yeonjun. she walks in the direction of the dining, fixing her shitt nervously and peeks inside through the glass, sighing as the mr lee is busy greeting the members and talking to them about something.

she waits for a while, hoping that he would come out and then she'll talk to him. but that never happens, because another hand pats her back, it's yeonjun smiling at her and opens the door, heading inside with her. lily closes her eyes, shrinking in her shoes as she feels all the voices being buried by the heavy silence that takes over.

"this is yeonjun and lily. they'll be serving you today," mr lee speaks with a smile, patting lily's head as he brings her forward. she looks up at him, tears welling her eyes automatically which mr lee probably decides to ignore for now, given that bts is in the same room. he can definitely talk to lily later.

"lily?" she recognises jungkook's voice by heart, and that triggers more tears. she rubs her eyes quickly and looks up at mr lee.

"can i talk to you for a moment?" she whispers, being as subtle as possible, however mr lee dismisses her wish by a gentle pat on her back.

"we'll talk later, kiddo. it's not polite to keep our guests waiting, okay? do your best," he smiles at her, bowing to the celebrities and takes his leave. lily stares at his back with a nervous look, cursing under her breath for being stuck in such a situation. yeonjun nudges her subtly, gesturing her to pour them water while he's bringing over the menus.

"i'll bring the menu," lily mutters, not waiting for a reply and steps away from the table of the seven stars. she picks up a few from desk nearby and places them on the table, ignoring their eyes on her.

"lily-"

"don't," she hushes out, staring at her feet, "please don't. i'll do my work and won't bother you. so you don't bother me too,"

"why are you here? why's dad letting you work?" jungkook asks, not minding her request which irritates lily. "what the hell is even going on here? call that man-"

"stop it," lily glares at him, "you don't have to act like you care," she shakes her head, taking a deep breath to contain herself and picks up the ting notepad from the side, "what would you like to order?"

yeonjun gulps, staring at the bitter scene unfolding before his eyes. but he can barely say anything to lily because he knows the damage is done. yet he pulls her back and bows, forcing her to follow him as well, "i'm really sorry for her behaviour, sir. she's just a child, please forgive her," he pleads.

lily grinds her teeth in anger, but doesn't say anything as yeonjun shoots her a warning glare which means she has to behave herself. "but it's not my fault..." she mumbles.

"just do what you're told to," yeonjun scolds her, then sends a nervous smile to jungkook and the other six men. "she won't misbehave like that again. please don't mind her,"

lily rubs her eyes, waiting with the notepad in her hand. she had hoped that jungkook would drop it now, but what he does next, surprises lily- scares her in fact. he stands up, facing yeonjun with a displeased look and points at the door, "i'd like to have a moment with her,"

"sir, that's-"

"you have a problem?" jungkook's literally threatening yeonjun at this point, getting a subtle bow from the boy before he leaves the room.

lily stares at jungkook with an unsure gaze, gulping her fear down and steps back. her head lowers as a tear rolls down her cheek, "i'll behave... please don't complain to mr lee," she mumbles, stealing a glance towards the door, hoping that yeonjun would wait for her before going to report the issue to mr lee.

"don't be scared," jungkook hushes out softly, standing in front of her, which doesn't help a bit and he notices how tensed she actually is. jungkook sighs softly, blinking away his own tears and makes her look up at him, "nobody's going to complain about anything, okay?"

she doesn't trust him and it shows in the way she nods cautiously, glancing back at his members who are all watching her. jimin and taehyung as well. she holds their gazes for a while and notices the tears in their eyes, both of them looking like they're holding themselves back from hugging her. she rubs her eyes, looking at her notepad and takes a deep breath, "please tell me your order. i'm sure you have a busy day," she says, pulling away from jungkook's hand and gestures him to sit.

"how are you?" jungkook hushes out, nibbling on his lip as he gulps down the lump that keeps making it hard for him to talk, "i know it's been long, and you must be mad at me for not coming any sooner. i'm sorry for that, but trust me we're here for a while this time. jimin and tae hyung wanted to-"

"i didn't ask that," lily fiddles with the pen in her hand, looking up at the six men, "leave him. what do you guys wanna eat? or are you all here just to watch how i'm working?"

"why are you talking like that, baby?" jimin speaks for the first time, "it's been such a long time since we saw you. we were about to go home today, to see you. we missed you so much, princess,"

"don't call me all that," lily glares at him, "i know how you missed me and shit. just tell me if you wanna have something, or get going. i have more work to do,"

"hey, let's talk calmly," taehyung offers, gesturing towards the chair nearby and lily scoffs.

the leader then sighs, deciding to open his mouth to do some good, "you should listen to them once, lily. they're your brothers they realy missed you,"

"are you guys stupid?" lily hisses, "do i look like i wanna talk? i'm trying so hard not to say anything that would get me in trouble because believe it or not i need this job," she hisses, massaging her temples, "you have a big life, lots of money, good for you. i don't have that and i have to work here and make money, okay? so if you wanna order something, go ahead. and if not, don't go without paying because you clearly wasted our time,"

"i'm sorry," jungkook says, pulling out his wallet and places it in lily's hand, "have the money if that's what you want. but please, let's talk. i regret leaving you, princess. i haven't slept the same ever since i-"

"is that my fault?" lily faces him, then glances at the wallet, scoffing as she places it beside him on the table, "i don't need your money, and i don't care if you've slept or not. if you ate or not. if you missed me or not. i don't get why you wanna see me suddenly? did you forget that you left me?"

the boys all remain quiet and lily turns to jimin and taehyung, "do you even remember me? how does it feel to see me after so long? does it remind you of the day you left me? i don't even remember what happened, what went wrong just one day you gave up... i'd be okay if you guys just left, y'know?" she blinks a few times, trying her best to get rid of her tears and not break into a sob, "i'd be okay if you just fucking left me alone like i didn't matter. but then you had to pretend that you care. you were sending me gifts? seriously? you're all older than me but you didn't see that maybe a call or a message once in a while, if you actually cared that much, would've been better? no?"

jimin rubs his eyes, nodding slowly, "we're sorry to hurt you, princess. really sorry. you have every right to be mad at us. we'll do whatever you want, lily. whatever that helps you forgive us..."

"stop pretending like you care," lily breathes out, "carry on with your lives and i'll carry on with mine. you never come home, never see me again and no more sending stupid shit for me,"

"lily," taehyung sighs, "you've said a lot. you gotta hear us out too,"

"i don't want to,"

"doesn't matter," taehyung declares, standing up and faces the young girl, making her gulp for she noticed how he was quiet all this time and with her big mouth, she might have pissed him off. although the scowl is still evident on her face, she takes a step back, glancing at jungkook too because he looks mad as well.

"let's go home," jungkook mutters.

"no," lily states, "i'm not scared of you. you might be big but i know how to fight,"

"you'll fight us now?" taehyung's features soften, "go on,"

lily freezes in her place, looking away and shakes her head, "not here. but you should be scared of me,"

that gives taehyung some hope, because he has to hold in his smile at the rather cute threat coming from his angry little sister. jungkook looks amused as well, stepping forward and takes lily's hand in his, making her sit down and kneels down in front of her, "won't you take us home, lily? we're back after so long... i thought i'd apologize to you, do whatever you want me to do, and when we're good, i'll bring you to seoul with me,"

"no. i'm not going anywhere with you," lily shifts back, pulling away her hand and shakes her head, suddenly not so tough anymore, "don't take me anywhere,"

"why not? we know how jaes- dad is, right?" he says and lily shakes her head again.

"just go away and don't come back," she hushes out, "i'm tired of telling everyone that i'm okay. no one believes me. you go back to seoul, sir. i don-"

"sir...?" a tear slips from his eye now, hearing the word from his sister, who used to call him with cute nicknames never missing a smile and a hint of playfulness back when things weren't so bad.

"what else?" lily stares at him, "you're a superstar and a guest here. everyone told me to be nice because i was the one serving you with yeonjun oppa,"

"i'm your brother, lily," he's holding in a sob, staring at her with his crying eyes begging her for some mercy, "please don't be like that... you probably won't believe me, but i do really love you, kiddo. i know i'm not the best brother out there, i left you and i know dad must've made your life a hell... and that makes me wanna die everyday, lily. it keeps eating me inside because i know what jaesung is and i... i just fucking left you alone with that man... hit me all you want, curse your heart out i swear i won't say a word... just please, don't be like this... don't hate me,"

lily looks away from him, rubbing her eyes as his words make her cry and she pushes him away, trying to get up from the seat, but jungkook holds her hand. sobbing in front of her as he begs for forgiveness, repeating continuously for her not to hate him. "leave me," lily could only whisper, hoping jungkook would listen. her eyes move to his hyungs, all of them staring with teary eyes, especially jimin and taehyung.

"we're sorry," taehyung hushes out, "leaving you wasn't in our hands. but reaching out to you was... and i'm sorry that we couldn't even do that,"

"yes," jimin sniffles, rubbing his eyes and stands up, going near lily and cups her face, "believe me, we love you. it took a lot from us to get back here... to go and see you, because we knew how bad we messed up. but we had to say sorry,"

lily says nothing, glancing at jungkook with a tired look and slowly pulls her hand back, making him look at her face. he wipes off his tears quickly, pushes his hair back and takes a deep breath, "okay, don't say anything. just for once, let me hug you... you didn't even come to me last time i saw you-"

"no," lily moves back, "don't touch me,"

"lily-"

"no!" she whines, pulling her hand back, scared of what he might try to do. she steps back near the door, ready to run out if anyone took a step closer. although watching her reacting that way, the brothers freeze in their places, a sudden fear washing over them with the possibilities of what lily might have experienced to have such a response.

"okay, okay, no one's touching you," jungkook assures, "i'm sorry. i didn't wanna scare you,"

"stay away," she mumbles.

"please calm down, princess. we're only trying to talk to you," jimin says in a soft voice, "we're not going to do anything to hurt you, okay?"

"mm," she nods slowly, rubbing her eyes.

"let's go home and talk?" he asks, stepping closer to her and pats her head, getting an instant glance from her, but she keeps herself from pulling away, "hear us out once. after that whatever you say, we'll accept it,"

lily takes a moment to think, "you won't complain to mr lee and pay for this,"

"okay," jimin agrees, opening the door and sighs softly, "lead the way," lily obeys quietly, glancing at a worried yeonjun in the corner of her eyes and sighs as mr lee is there too. he glares at her, making her look back at jimin, who catches on instantly and approaches mr lee.

"i'm really sorry, sir. i don't know what-"

"it's alright," jimin smiles at him, "don't worry about anything. we're just taking lily with us for now, but i can assure you that everything's okay,"

mr lee nods slowly, glancing at lily who lowers her head instantly, "i'm sorry, mr lee. please don't kick me out,"

the man sighs, patting her head, "come back tomorrow," he says, making lily look up with a smile, and he nods, "yes, and your payment for the day is on the counter. don't forget it,"

"thank you, sir," lily bows to her quickly, heading towards the front desk where the girl smiles at her and slides the envelope towards her. jimin hands the lady his card, getting a confused look from her and a hesitant glance that she sends to the owner of the place.

"you don't need to pay, sir," mr lee assures jimin.

"no, i want to," jimin says, glancing at lily who nods, "i'm sorry for causing inconvenience for you and your staff,"

"please don't apologise, sir. it's nothing,"

jimin smiles politely, making a generous payment then gestures his hand for lily to head out. the cars are lined up not so far and the boys along with the sister make their way towards them.

"we'll go back to the hotel," jin says, "you guys please sort it out, okay?"

"yeah, don't worry," taehyung nods as the hyungs leave in two cars, leaving the brothers and lily with their car.

"come," jimin says, opening the door for lily, and she hesitates a little. "you don't have to be scared, honey. it's just us here. i know we haven't been the best brothers to you, but at least you can trust us that much right? we would never hurt you,"

"that doesn't mean anything. you could still hurt me," lily says, but gets in the car anyway.

"we're your brothers, kiddo," taehyung reasons her, earning a scoff from her.

"so? if my dad can hurt me, why won't anyone else?" she mumbles, shaking her head, "and i said a lot of things to you. jungkook taehyung looked mad when we left... but i'm going with you, i don't know why,"

"because you trust us," jimin smiles softly, "what your dad does is his fault. if he can't see that he has an amazing daughter, that's his problem,"

lily looks at jimin, wondering if he always was this sweet and calm. but then, she reminds herself that he's also the one who left her. maybe it wasn't really his fault, because she knows that jimin actually took the case in court and did everything within his hands to have her custody. it was jaesung who went out of his way to take her from jimin. maybe that's the reason, lily doesn't hate jimin and taehyung as much as jungkook. but yes, she's mad at them equally for never checking on her. it made her feel like she was dead to them.

"are you okay?" he asks and lily flinches, her train of thoughts coming to a halt with jimin's voice.

"yes," she looks down, staring at her lap and gulps, "why didn't you call me ever? you didn't feel like talking to me? i- i remember a little... we used to play and you looked so happy when i was small... then why did you leave me forever? i was still the same lily... why did you stop loving me suddenly?"

jimin blinks a few times, nibbling his lip as he drapes his arm around lily's smaller body, closing his eyes in relief when she doesn't pull away. he pulls her in a hug, taking a deep breath before opening his mouth to speak, "i never stopped loving you, princess. how can i ever stop loving my little girl? i missed you everyday, but i couldn't come back... all three of us, lily. the career we were chasing back then demanded a lot from us. it may look like we're living our best lives, but on the inside if you ask us, i can swear on my life none of us are happy. because the things we had to give up for this costed so much more than we can imagine. i mean, look at us..."

lily doesn't say anything, her eyes gradually moving to jungkook, who quickly lowers his gaze from her, while taehyung holds it for a second before looking away as well. lily sighs softly, peeking out of the window and clears her throat, pointing ahead, "right from there," she navigates and the driver follows, with a few more turns, she finally tells him to pull over in front of a small house.

taehyung and jungkook get off first, then jimin and lily. the girl leads them inside, opening the door slowly as she wishes to first make sure that her father wasn't home. when she's met with silence, she assumes that he's not home yet and enters the house, taking off her shoes in the side. "lily is that you?" his voice makes her flinch, gulping thickly as her hands move to her pockets to fetch out the money for him, so he won't bother her.

"what happened?" taehyung asks, watching fear crawl over lily's expression and slowly on the rest of her body as she can't find the envelope.

"the envelope... money," she mumbles, eyes widening with fear when she hears jaesung approaching them.

"he wants money from you?" jungkook's jaw ticks.

"get out," she whispers to them, pushing them towards the door, "go! he'll be mad,"

"but-"

"lily," jaesung stops right behind her, his scowl gradually changes into an amused smile, stating at the boys, "oh, look who we have here? did you bring your brothers home, lily? did you bring them here without asking me?"

lily looks up at her father, shaking her head and takes a small step back, more scared because she can't find the envelope of money. jaesung scoffs at her, ignoring the boys and holds her arm, taking her inside, "tell them to leave," he says casually.

"i told them..." lily mumbles.

"well, i don't think they heard you then," he chuckles darkly, stopping on his track and makes her face the brothers, grabbing her by her hair, "now do it louder this time,"

"don't you dare!" jungkook roars, glaring at the father and steps forward instantly, his arm stretched to have lily back, safe with him and the brothers. however, jaesung steps back, tugging on her hair harder, making her scream in pain, tears rolling out of her eyes endlessly.

"leave..." she manages to utter between the sobs.

"louder!" jaesung scolds her.

"leave!" lily cries, holding jaesung's hand with her smaller ones, hoping to loosen his grip but it doesn't work.

"leave her," taehyung warns the father, "is that why you took her with you? to hurt your daughter?"

"you have nothing to do with that," jaesung says, "i never considered you anything. you and brother, even your mother. the only thing i hate the most about this girl is that she's daughter of a woman who couldn't stay loyal to one man! sunhee really loved her freedom right? she used to sing her rights and choices. fuck! what happened? she died- and i'm glad she died! women like her don-"

"enough!" taehyung grits his teeth, grabbing the man by his arm and throws a few continuous punches to his face, "you're the one who should've died! talking shit about our mother or our sister won't get you anywhere, jaesung. consider yourself lucky that you're even breathing, because i swear you don't fucking deserve it!"

"fuck off!" jaesung cracks his neck, and turns to lily, "you. don't forget that they're just making things worse for you. they'll leave again, and it'll just be you in this house with me. you're the one who has to go through me everyday, live this shit life here, watch me get drunk and everything! they won't be here, lily. they're just making your life harder,"

he's not wrong.

lily looks over at the brothers with an unsure gaze, withdrawing herself from jungkook's safe arms and goes back where her father is. jaesung nods, wiping the blood from his nose and wraps his free arm around her, "good girl. now c'mon, tell them to leave. we don't want any outsiders here, right?"

lily nods, rubbing her eyes never looking at the elder brothers again, "go away..." she hushes, "and don't come back. i'm not going anywhere with anyone,"

"good, go see them off," he hums and lily opens the door for the three to leave.

"come with us," jungkook tells her, "please, i can't do this again. i don't wanna leave you with him again,"

"wow, really?" jaesung laughs mockingly, "you're offering to take her with you? do you even know what life she's used to? what she's become a part of? tell him, kiddo, what do you often do to bring me money, and ask him if he can actually bear the dread you live in everyday,"

lily sniffles softly, rubbing her eyes with both her hands, crying silently at the father's words. jungkook stands in front of her, holding her hands down and makes her look at him, "shh, don't cry. i promise you'll be happy with us. don't listen to him, baby, you have no idea what he's doing... jimin, tae and i will make sure that you have everything you want. let's go from here,"

"ask him if he's gonna pay you?" jaesung mocks.

"shut the fuck up!" jungkook glares at jaesung, "how can you even say that about your own daughter?! you can't be a good father, but at least be a decent human for fuck's sake!"

"you've got a tongue," he smirks, "i thought your mom didn't teach you to-"

"please," he breathes out, "stop doing this to her. i don't understand what's wrong with you that you're hurting your daughter like this. you want money, right? i'll give you- i'll fucking give whatever amount you say! just leave lily out of this,"

"so, you'll buy her?" jaesung laughs, glancing at lily, "he calls himself your brother, lily. he wants to buy you from me. you know what girls like who're bought are worth right? do you wanna go with him?"

it angers lily how jungkook has the audacity to think that she'll go with him just because he has money to feed their father. jaesung pulls her in a hug, rubbing her back gently and smirks at the boys when she doesn't try to pull away, "she doesn't wanna go with you. i don't blame her, you're the one who left her here. you're the reason she has to work at such a young age, go through shitty people out there and bear all the pain. aren't you the one who gave up on her when she was barely five? jimin, taehyung? and you, jungkook, you're such a coward you ran away and left your six year-old sister all alone, didn't you?"

lily shuts her eyes close, tears flowing like a river down her cheeks. her hands clutch on jaesung's shirt, hating how all his words were true and she wouldn't leave him for shit. no matter what he did, lily grew up to believe that jaesung is her father and she belongs to him by blood, by relation, by everything. he could come home drunk, beat her to death, or starve her for days, and she still wouldn't dare to go against him, because at the end of the day, he is her father.

she doesn't really trust him, but what her brothers did was far more hurtful for her and she fears to have any of her trust broken that bad again. at least this way she doesn't rely on anyone and knows that no one is her own, not even her father. however, jimin, taehyung and jungkook made her believe that they'd be there for her, hold her whenever she felt scared, hug her when she was cold and whatnot. she grew so used to them that when they left, it broke her in more ways than one. lily knows that she didn't deserve that at such a young age, and it felt worse than jaesung hitting her. she's not ready to face it again in her life.

who knows when jimin, taehyung and jungkook change their mind again? who knows when they might suddenly feel like abandoning her again?

they have their fans and four other members to play the game of trust. lily would like to be left out of it.

"lily, come, let's go," jimin says, holding out his hand, "don't listen to your dad-"

"no," lily hushes out, "i'm not going anywhere with you..."

"please, princess, we'll-"

lily stares at jungkook with her teary eyes, tired from crying and protesting, "no,"

"but he's not a nice man!" jungkook grows frustrated with her behaviour, glaring at jaesung and grabs the man by his collar, "you'll regret this! i'll fucking kill you for using my sister like this!"

"go away!" lily cries, pushing him back, "you left me when i was younger, why can't you do it now?! just fucking leave and stop making my life any harder! i don't wanna go with you or your brothers. i hate you! i hate your stupid group, i hate your color purple, and i hate your fans! they should know that they're wasting their time on cowards like you who can't keep their promises! they'll hate you, and they'll leave you just like you left me. please go from here... and don't ever come back..." she trails off, breaking into a sob as soon as she turns around and heads upstairs to her room, slamming the door harshly.

jungkook stands still, just like his brothers, staring blankly at the end of the staircase, tears threatening to fall from his eyes and make it worse for him to see to clearly. jimin wipes his own tears, glancing at taehyung and nods for him that they should get going. taehyung rubs his eyes, placing a hand on jungkook's shoulder and squeezes gently, "let's go..." he hushes out, gaining the younger's attention.

"hyung... lily- we can't leave her alone. she's just mad right now. she doesn't mea-"

"we're going, kook," jimin hushes him down, giving a subtle nod and pats his back.

"no, hyung. why are you saying that? you said we'll talk to her. you said we'll... you said she's just a kid... why?"

"it's no use, jungkook," taehyung mumbles, "she doesn't trust us,"

"but we're-"

"it's okay," taehyung pats jungkook's shoulder, bringing him out of the house while jimin takes one last look at jaesung.

"i would've never let her go if i knew you'd hurt her so bad," jimin shakes his head, massaging his temples, "you make her hate us, fine. but that doesn't help you in any way. she's still young, so you can probably control her, manipulate her right now. but trust me, the day she decides to step up, it's over for you. i know my kid that much, she doesn't need anyone, not even us, to fight for herself,"

with that, jimin ignores the glare jaesung sends him and turns around to leave. jungkook and taehyung are already in the car, telling the driver to head back to the hotel as soon as jimin takes his seat too. a thick silence persists throughout the ride. broken only when jungkook slams the door of his hotel room shut at the elders' faces, leaving them to stand there and stare with empathetic looks.

"jimin, tae, how did it go? did you talk to lily?" it's namjoon who approaches them, although before any of the brothers did answer, they hear some shattering noises from inside jungkook's room. "oh god! what happe-"

"let him be. he'll deal with it," taehyung mumbles, ruffling his own hair as he heaves out a breath and walks to his room.

"what- what's wrong, jimin? did something happen with lily?" the leader asks softly, getting a sigh from jimin.

"let's talk later, hyung. i'm tired... we have a show tomorrow,"

namjoon nods slowly, giving an assuring squeeze on jimin's shoulder and pulls him in a hug, "you can always talk to your members, you know that right?"

"yeah," jimin nods, "i just need some time,"

"sure," namjoon smiles a little.

jimin enters his room, putting down his phone and wallet on the table. he takes off his shoes and socks, heading straight to the bathroom. it doesn't take long for him strip out of his jeans and shirt, standing under the shower with cold water running down. he forces himself to focus on the drops hitting his skin, than letting his mind wander back to the words lily said.

he closes his eyes, taking a laboured breath, standing with his head tilted upwards to have the water washing his face directly, flowing down from his chin and jawline. he knows lily meant what she said, but not in the way to make jimin hate her back, because he also knows that those weren't really her own words, but the ones she grew up hearing from her father. he wouldn't blame her for that.

•••

"do not make a single noise, or i'll make sure you'll be screaming the whole fucking day," jaesung grits, throwing his belt aside once he's satisfied that lily wouldn't even dare moving a muscle, and exits the room. she can hear the click of the door which means he locked it from outside, followed by his fading footsteps that make her sigh softly.

lily moves in her place, curling into a ball. the floor is cold beneath her school uniform but it doesn't feel bad over the bruises other than the hardness. she blinks slowly, staring out of the window at the stars far away, talking to her mother all with her eyes, asking if it hurts her too see her daughter like this. the answer is probably yes, and lily closes her eyes, a single line of tear flowing from her cheek straight to the cold floor.

she needs sleep; a long one to compensate for the losses in her life. it's exhausting to exist everyday. to breathe everyday.

•••

don't think of anything, don't say anything,
not even a word, just give me a smile

today marks nine years of togetherness that the bts members share. the bond that none of them realised became so strong that they started calling each other family ever so often. the stages they lit up together, the smiles they brought to life and the music that kept them bonded, it all comes alive once again tonight with the shimmering purple ocean surrounding them.

they're happy to have this moment with their fans those who are here, and manifesting those who aren't here for whatever reasons. jungkook stands still, eyes closed as he pays close attention to the beats, mouthing every single lyric along with the corresponding member, whether or not it was his line.

i still can't believe it,
all of this seems like a dream
don't try to disappear

he can hear taehyung's soothing voice and it makes him feel at ease like many other people who believe that taehyung's voice is like the calmness of a deep ocean, the kind you can't help but cherish and wish to preserve forever somewhere in your heart.

he's right there, staring at the armys with a soft gaze, glistening with tears. and jungkook hesitates to name all of it as gratitude, because he can see right through the elder brother, knowing it was a maxiture of pain, a hint of guilt and a bit of thankfulness all hidden underneath the thin layer of tears.

will you stop time, if this moment passes
as though it hadn't happened
i'm scared scared scared i'll lose you

butterfly, like a butterfly
just like a butterfly bu-butterfly

taehyung rubs his eyes, smiling at the fans and moves his hand in the air, guiding the wave of the lightsticks which the fans instantly catch on and follow his lead. jungkook's watching them too, never realising when the camera turned to him and caught his tears displaying on the big screen behind them.

the cheers tell him not to cry, unintentionally reminding him again that he indeed built this world on ashes of lily's childhood, fed by her tears and cursed by his own father. yet he forces up a smile, wiping off the tears from his face and waves his arm in the air, following the purple lights.

you're just like a butterfly, from afar, i steal glances;
if we touch hands, will i lose you?
you shine in this pitch darkness that is the butterfly effect

jimin's sitting on one edge of the stage, near the armys, singing when it's his line and admiring the fans from where he is, hoping that he could have lily like this too. hoping that he could have his little girl back and start again from the day he had to let go of her. this time he wouldn't make the mistake of giving in to the law or jaesung's false claims of fatherhood. he would keep lily with him like his a piece of his heart, love her like his own child, and wake up each day to see her smile, only if he could get a second chance in life.

don't go to those woods over there
my heart is still shattering on you
my love that is forever, it's all free for you baby

now he's all alone midst the crowd, wondering if he'll ever get the chance to hold lily again. probably not. not in this life to say the least. tears well his eyes too and he's sure that the armys think he's crying for the show that's ending, unaware of the storm inside which makes it hard for him to sing or even smile when the camera is at him. although he feels the support right behind him, looking over his shoulder to find his two brothers, smiling softly as they drape their arms around him from either side.

will you stop time, if this moment passes
as though it hadn't happened
i'm scared scared scared i'll lose you

butterfly, like a butterfly

__________

a/n- i won't say much, the chapter is already long enough 😪 do vote if you liked it, and make sure to comment. it takes a lot of effort to write such chapters 🥺❤️ love you, take care. see you soon with another update 💜

<june is starting and we needed a festa chapter>

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11.5k words (exactly! so please vote😭)