a/n: please read this first 🙏

i never thought i'd have to say it. i had many expectations from this series, for i honestly spent so much time figuring out the plot, the new genre, and making everything work out because ngl this whole TBOE series took a lot from me. i thought i'll get to see a lot of votes or comments, hear your thoughts and opinions about the story. but here is a whole different thing going on. it's really disappointing and discouraging when you don't even get the bare minimum response from the ppl you work so hard for.

ik i've been inconsistent with my books lately, a lot has happened, and forgive, i guess, for having a lide out of wattpad. i didn't want to abandon my books, so i decided to keep updating even if it took some time. when i come back with a big series for my readers (idek how many of you actually like my work anymore or not) i thought you'd be happy and excited just like me. ik some ppl set targets for votes and comments and refuse to publish until that is attained, i'm not really in favour of that, because those who do vote shouldn't have to held back because of those who just don't care. but i don't blane those authors either, it's demotivating to publish smth for barely any response.

this used to be my favourite places because of my readers and my books, but these days, i barely feel like opening this app. it's so empty and lonely here. almost like an abandoned place. sigh. but anyway, i will update, because ik there are still people who wait for new chapters and are considerate about me, even if they're few in number.

just try to vote and comment, i guess. i can only request you. at the end it's your choice whether you wanna press the button or not, whether you like my content or not.

just know that being a silent reader to an author with high functioning anxeity and borderline ocd, isn't too good of a decision. (not even kidding atp)

taehyung's pov

"commander min will assiste you throughout the mission. i don't want a failure. am i clear, enforcer?" dark eyes stare at me from the other side of the round table, expecting an answer. failing is not an option for sure, but only this once have i been feeling uncertain about who my next victim is going to be.

rumour has it that queen sunhee's son is back in the kingdom, dwelling right under our noses and preparing for revenge. according to the king's assets his only motive is to unalive every single person that has the royal blood running in their veins. that automatically puts jimin in danger. he's the future king and he needs to be alive. the securities for jimin, around the palace and even inside has been doubled and tripled, checking each and everything that could potentially be a threat to the royalty.

the palace, however, is safe.

i will get the guy who dares to stand against the system, posing threat to the current and future king. from what i know, he's somewhere in the slums, hidden in plain sight and living a normal life so that nobody finds him suspicious. one thing that i vividly remember from seven years ago when the queen left the kingdom, was that she had a daughter too, apart from having a fourteen-year-old son.

"enforcer!" the king's rough voice makes me straighten up.

"yes, your grace." i bow my head, standing up firm on my spot. "i will bring the offender to you."

"you better. or i will have to take it in my hands to make sure you know your job. understood?"

"understood, sir." my eyes remain fixed on the floor right ahead of his shoes. the only spot i should and am allowed to look when he's angry.

commander min stands up too, bowing to the king before gesturing his hand for me to go ahead first. so, i lead the way, sighing deeply as soon as i leave the king's study. there's so much air in the world, god knows where all of it goes when he's around. "do you know anything about him?" i ask, never glancing at min yoongi, for he too never makes an eye contact with me, respecting the boundaries that we have while working together.

"jungkook. jeon jungkook." he pronounces the name.

"i'm very well aware of that, commander. he was once my brother." i nod, "anything else? where he lives, if he has any family?"

"the king's assets have brought that he's living the slums and is expected to have a little girl with him. other than her, there's no real family for him outside of the royalty."

i hum, taking in the information as we head to the stable. the lad who usually takes care of my stallion bows to me quickly before rushing towards fury's grooming area. he brings him out in a minute and i take my time to admire the beauty i've been gifted with. fury is a five years old stallion, dark brown color with thick wavy hair all the way from his head to down his neck. he's the most pampered and high maintenance horse in the entire stable.

jimin had gifted me fury when just a young foal and i loved him ever since the first day. we used to take laps together, trained with each other and sometimes i even left my room to spend my night in the stable with fury. we just clicked and now i'm happy to call fury my best mate.

patting fury's back, i glance at commander min, keeping a straight face, "i'm going to the slums then. you may ask people and try to find more about jungkook."

"as you wish, prince." he bows before leaving me and fury alone. i appreciate that.

commander min is a tough man of his words, which makes him barely flexible. honestly, he's not very much of a pleaser and likes to remain firm on his grounds, making him quite inapproachable and strong headed. he has great knowledge of weaponry, battlefields and duel fights, which is why he has always been integral part of my training.

the king couldn't always be there to make sure i was tortured till last breath, so he had given the job to commander min.

once the man leaves, i glance at fury, smiling as he taps his forelegs on the stony ground and turns around, ready for me to sit. i get on his back and off we go, towards the slums. let's see where jungkook is hiding. in the last meeting with the king, where he told us (jimin and i) about jungkook being somewhere in the kingdom planning his revenge, jimin had straight up refused to believe any of that.

according him, jungkook was still his younger brother who would never want to hurt his family. we were his family. unfortunately for jimin, he's not in full control yet, and father is the man to make decisions. despite jimin not agreeing with any of the rumours or the king's command itself, he still can't do anything to change the fact that i've been sent out to get jungkook by hook or by crook.

"your highness," i frown at the interruption, as a guard jogs up to me, bowing first then continues with his job. "prince jimin wishes to see you in his chamber."

"later. tell him that i'm going out right now."

"i apologise, your highness. he says it's urgent."

sighing softly, i give in. nodding in response for the guard to leave. stroking fury's side i turn him around, tugging on his ropes gently. he starts walking out of the stable, back to the palace. i leave him open in the courtyard, jogging inside and upstairs, taking a few turns in the massive hallways until i reach my brother's bedchamber.

the two guards outside his room, bow to me, opening the door to let me in. "your highness, prince taehyung is here." one of them tells jimin, only letting me inside to see jimin on getting a green signal.

"you wanted to see me?" i ask.

jimin is standing by the huge window that runs from floor to the ceiling, connecting his room to the spacious, open balcony on the other side. he doesn't turn to look at me or greet me, making me sigh as i reach beside him, bowing my head slightly. "is there anything i can do for you, your highness?" i mutter.

"you can." he hums, taking a deep breath. "tell me about jungkook. what are you doing to find him?"

"you don't need to worry yourself in that matte-"

"just answer." he glares at me. "what did the king tell you?"

i look down, knowing very well that i'm not supposed to tell him anything, for we all know how he tends to favour less violent techniques to run politics. father failed to teach him the cruel reality that he has engraved so close to my heart. i keep my head low, the gesture everyone in the palace needs to follow before the king and his heir, jimin, that is.

"speak up, taehyung. i don't have all day, and i trust you don't either." of course, i don't. i have to go to the slums today and look there a bit deeper to figure out where jungkook could possibly be residing with a child.

"there's nothing. i'm just heading to the slums today. y'know, see and find out more. commander min is also leading his own investigation."

jimin stares me, nodding slowly. "if you do find anything, tae. you'll inform me first. get that?"

"but-" i look away, pushing my hair back. "look, jimin. try to understand that i have to abide by the king's order. he wants jungkook before him sooner than the boy actually poses a threat to the royalty."

"he's our brother, tae. how can you even think like that about him? he is also a prince of schionberg just like you and i."

"his mother left the kingdom willingly, jimin. he's not a prince anymore. moreover, he's a threat to the throne." i state with what i presume to be a serious face. i can tell jimin doesn't like my words and he seems ready an argument to oppose. i don't even have to read his thoughts to know that much. although i speak again, "he's not family, jimin. you're the future king of schionberg. you need to stop caring about every other person, especially if they mean harm to you. you know those people are my headache."

"you aren't going to kill your brother."

"he's not our brother!" i almost yell, glaring at jimin. taking a deep breath, i mutter, "please, get those thoughts out of your head. this is all politics. his mother wanted him to sit on the throne and when she realised that would never happen, she left the kingdom. we found her body stabbed a dozen times. she was killed and jungkook probably thinks we did it. now he's back for a meaningless revenge and the throne. he's a threat to you. that's why i need to catch him before it's too late. now i hope you won't get between me and my work."

"i don't think that's true." jimin says, approaching me with slow steps until he stands in front of me and places his hand on my shoulder. "the queen loved all of us and i don't think any woman would ever leave her family without a serious reason. she had a six months old daughter with her, she wouldn't risk the princess's life just like that. my intuition says there's something more that we don't know..."

brown eyes search mine for answers, perhaps words of agreement and assurance, so that jimin can have something to rely on. something that assures him that he still stands a chance to meet jungkook. the boy had cried his eyes out and thrown the messiest fit he could when he came to know that his mother was leaving and he had to go with her.

inhaling deeply, i focus back on jimin, holding him by his shoulders, "he's not fourteen anymore, and we're no more related. he was our step brother, you know what that means."

"i do. but i think you're the one who has lost their ability to look at things without the politics engraved in your brain."

a sigh works out my lips, as i gather myself back, looking down at my feet, "what do you want me to do?"

"tell me about jungkook and the princess."

"i'm not very sure hig majesty will appreciate me doing that."

"i am the future king. i must have the knowledge of such important things, don't you agree, enforcer?"

i have no option than to nod, glancing at him with an uncertain gaze, "i'll leave now."

"make sure nobody hurts the prince and the princess." jimin states, "if you do succeed in finding them, i want you to respectfully bring them to the palace."

"but he's-"

"am i clear?"

shutting my eyes in defeat, i bow to him, "yes, your highness..."

"you may leave now."

jungkook's pov

when i came back home, lily and suho weren't playing outside like usual and the alley was quieter than what i witness everyday. something seemed off and i realised it as soon as i entered through the door, surprisingly being awaited by none other than the royal martinet himself. the prince of schionberg, taehyung. he looks comfortable despite the poor enviornment and dirty surrounding, considering that he has always had a luxurious life.

the kids are sitting quietly in one side of the single room, looking a bit scared for they both probably know that taehyung is from the palace. areum too is uncomfortable, and it shows in how quickly she approaches me, getting to my side, eyes scared and worried. i smile at her, wrapping one arm around her and the other remains open for the kids as i gesture them come and give me a hug.

the two hurry up to my side, clinging to my waist as they hug me tightly, as though they were relieved with my presence. chuckling, i eventually pull away, and hand suho some sweet buns wrapped in plastic and some vegetables to areum. the trials are generous enough to pay us some shillings, so that we can at least eat one meal a day.

"sweet bun! thank you, appa!" suho exclaims hugging me again.

"you're welcome." i smile, patting his back, "go and share it with your sister too, alright?"

"okay!"

as the kids leave the room, going outside to the varanda, i glance at taehyung and then at areum, "i didn't know we were expecting prince taehyung as our guest tonight." i say before sitting down in front of taehyung. "i'm jungkook, your highness."

"i know." he hums, scanning me carefully with his dark eyes, then looks at areum. "is she your wife?"

"yes." i'm almost proud to call areum my wife even though we're not married and all of this is just fake. a way to help each other out. even the kids have learnt to play along in this, all thanks to areum telling them that we all need stay together to be safe.

"and the children...?"

"yeah, they're ours. suho and lily." i nod with a small smile. "we're just a small family. why are you asking, though? is something wrong, prince?"

"actually, yes." he says, straightening his back. "i'm looking for a man named jungkook, who also happens to have a young girl with him. how long have you been here, by the way?"

"not too long. we came back last year, but we used to live in schionberg before we had children." i say, glancing at areum as she sits with me, smiling briefly as if reminiscing the time i'm talking about. "areum's parents lived here."

"and what about you? your family?"

"my father died in a war. he was a lower ranking soldier in kaedith. soon after that war a marriage of royal convenience took place and kaedith came under schionberg, so i moved here in search of work."

"but you said you came back last year. where you all this time?"

"kaedith. my mother's health was degrading and she needed someone to look after her."

"yes, i was there to help her. and we also had both our kids there, she was really happy to see her grandchildren before she left us." areum says.

taehyung nods slowly and looks around, "call your kids."

"why?" i ask, and taehyung arches up a brow. "they aren't very fond of men from the palace."

"and why is that?" taehyung smirks for some reason, making my jaw tick in anger, having a deep urge to punch that smirk off his face.

"because your imperials have charged at them for no reason. my lily broke her arm because of that, suho was badly hurt and-" i take a pause, glaring at the man in front of me. "i'd appreciate if you let them be."

"i'm sure they did something to have ended up that way. nobody likes to beat kids up without a reason." he has the audacity to say. i raise up in my place, standing tall while he casually keeps sitting. "sit down, jungkook. i'm the one who will decide when this conversation is over."

"i believe it's over now. you cannot force yourself inside my house and say whatever the hell you want. so, with all due respect please leave, prince."

taehyung chuckles, standing up and pats my shoulders, staring into my eyes, but words directed to areum. "alright, he's going to walk me out, areum." taehyung says with a smile, his hand staying firm on my shoulder, urging me to walk outside with him. i do as he wants until we both are standing face to face in the narrow street just a few yards away from the alley that lily and i used to sleep in earlier.

"you seem bothered, prince." i say, eyeing him as his hands move down to his pockets, shoving them inside. his chest vibrates with an airy chuckle that rolls out of his lips.

"you seem to know a lot," he looks at me, "isn't that right, jungkook? or jeon jungkook to be specific?"

now i take my turn to chuckle, shaking my head. "that was a wild guess, prince taehyung. but you hit it right. that's my full name."

"of course it is." he hums, "so, what exactly are you planning to do?"

"get a job..? i'm already a part of the trails." i tell him with a smile, "what else can a slummer like me do?"

"slummer." he repeats under his breath, "alright, if that's how you wish to play. i have my eyes on you and your apparent family, jungkook. remember that i don't go easy on people who mean harm to the realm."

"i'll remember that." i smirk, stepping forward with my hand extended with the intention to shake his. but he probably finds it alarming for his reaction is to instantly reach out for his dagger, tucked somewhere in the back of his belt. okay. "i'm not attacking you, prince. you can relax."

"shut up!" he growls, grabbing my shirt and his dagger is pressed to my throat. the sharp pointed blade digs into my flesh as i feel a drop of warm, thick liquid slowly dripping down my neck. damn you, kim taehyung.

"is that how you use your powers, taehyung? couldn't even tell if i was about to attack or not?" i scoff, "fucking weak. you're miserable. scared of the simplest things. maybe the king couldn't make you so tough after all."

"i can fucking kill you right now and nobody will question me."

"go on. prove everyone that you and your sorry excuse of a king, the whole fucking royalty was shaken by one man. prove it to everyone that you were a coward." i smirk, "go ahead and kill me." my hand grips his, holding it tightly along with the dagger, bit he never attempts to press the tip any deeper into my throat.

maintaining the eye contact, i watch his pupils quiver, veins popping from the side of forehead as if he's struggling to fight me. he is. not physically, but mentally he is fighting me.

"you're the queen's son..." it's like he just confirmed everything now, making my sly smile stretching a little more. the intensity of his faze weakens and so does his hand, loosening the grip on the dagger and i push his hand away.

"whatever helps you sleep at night, prince taehyung. go back to the palace. it's dangerous out here at night for the royalty all alone, without any guards. there are predators everywhere."

"you do know the trials are for you, right?" he grits, eyeing me up and down with a smirk gradually making it up to his face.

"well, let's see if they are actually for me." his glare never lessens, making me smile as i pat his shoulder. "i'm still just a man surviving in the slums with my family."

"i know who are you!" he grits out.

"you don't." i say it so calmly that it ticks him off, but he restrains himself from hitting me even though his right arm has stretched back with his fist balled into a firm punch. the anger is there for sure, however there's something more alongside that makes him lower his hand.

he takes a step back, not saying anything anymore and steps back. sighing softly, he opens his mouth to say something, but again stops himself and walks back to his horse after sending me one last glare. i shake my head, glancing back towards the door, finding lily peeking from there, her doe eyes glistening with fear as she hesitates to step out of the safety of the small house. giving her a smile, i walk towards her, opening my arms which quickly makes her run up to me.

she hugs me tightly, tears filling her eyes when she notices the blood on my neck. her little hand moves to my chest, and the gesture itself makes my heart clench, staring at her with soft eyes. "i'm okay, princess. i'm perfectly fine, alright?" i assure her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "i'm never going to leave my little girl, remember that."

lily sniffles at the words, holding out her little finger in front of me, that i quickly link with mine, "i swear on the stars, the moon, this very earth, on most of all on my heart that beats for my angel, that i'm never going to leave you, lily. you trust me, don't you?"

she nods for an answer, hugging me again and kisses my cheek, before pulling away. she points at my chest again, then at hers bringing my hand up with hers until it rests over her heart, and i feel the racing beat. my favourite rhythm, except for that it's a bit panicked right now. i smile, nodding my head, "i love you more." is what leaves my mouth, more like a whisper for lily's already so close that a tone louder than this isn't needed.

i carry lily up in my arms, heading inside where areum is impatiently standing, ready with plenty of questions to ask. "go and play with suho." i mumble to lily, patting her head as i let her down. she shakes her head, standing on her toes, arm struggling to stay wrapped around me. "i'm not going anywhere, darling. i just promised you that, didn't i?"

the little girl stares at me for a moment before nodding with a heavy heart, "yeah, and you know that i keep my promises, right?" she nods again, letting go of me eventually, making me smile. "now go with suho. suho's eomma and i need to talk."

then she agrees to leave, taking suho's hand as the boy was already waiting, understanding that we elders need a moment. sighing softly, my gaze shifts from the small door where suho and lily went, to areum's quivering pupils. she remains silent, although her eyes let the secret of fear and confusion out. whispers of uncertainties and endless wrongs escapes each breath she takes. yet none of it is actually voiced.

"how long was taehyung here?" i ask.

she blinks a few times, looking down for a short second before focusing back on me, "not too long." she replies, "he kept asking a-about you.."

"like what?"

"he asked how you were related to me. our family history and about suho and lily." she gulps, as i hum in response, about to sit down when she holds my hand, making me look at her. when our eyes meet, it's not just the normal hypnotic ocean, but a stormy sea as though waves were rising high at night to sink and drown everything in sight. to drown me.

i'd love to drown in those eyes.

"he said i don't know who you really are. what does that mean, jungkook?" she hushes out cautiously. "he said that i married the wrong the man and all this- our story... he knew it's not true."

"he's an ass." i scoff. "just ignore him. we made a deal, and we agreed to stick to it for our own good. so, let's just keep doing that."

"the deal..." areum lets out a dry chuckle, shaking her head slowly, "jungkook i'm trying to understand you, but it's so hard. first of all, i don't know anything about you at all. i told you about my life, everything that happened with me and why i..." she gulps, lowering her gaze under mine, "and i told you why i need you. yet you never open up about yourself. we just made a deal, i'm not even sure why you're even in this with me. from what i do know about you, you'd easily manage everything for yourself and lily without my help. then why?"

"what do you want me to do?" i ask softly, "we're pretending to be a family so that nobody bothers us and we keep doing our thing without any-"

"what exactly is our thing, jungkook?"

"that-" i lick my lips, frowning in search of an answer. but i swear to god her eyes and lips are so distracting. so tempting. "your safety, your son's safety. lily's safety. and- well, everything that we mentioned earlier." of course. that's what we agreed on, me pretending to be her man so that she wouldn't have to answer every other person about suho's missing father, and that i bring them income, while in return she would look after lily and provide us food.

"that's what you told me." she pressed on.

"yes, because that is true." i hum. "what are you trying to do here?"

"i'm trying to get to know you! you never open up. but the little things you do make me feel close to you, the things that i'm growing accustomed to, i've learnt that-"

"you're growing accustomed to me?" it's a new thing and might pose very dangerous later on in the game. maybe not so much for me, but for areum. definitely. i'm the last person she should get used to.

"what-"

"you just said it." i point out, stepping closer to her as i cup het face in my right hand, left one circling her waist. "areum, i think you're interesting. your company is devastatingly tempting. i'd kill to just spend another night with you, alone sometimes." my words come out like a murmur to her, very close to her ear, as i'm leaning down, fighting back the need to taste her lips. "however, i'm not someone you should get accustomed to. i might turn out to be the man you wouldn't fancy."

"i knew you were a murderer..." she whispers, clutching on my shirt, making me smirk.

"oh baby, you've no idea."

"tell me then." areum looks up at me, hesitating a little but never pulls away. "i'll listen to you, jungkook."

"no. i can't tell you, and if i do you'll be risking a lot for me whether or not you want to. this way at least i can leave and you'll be free."

"what if-"

"there are no what ifs. if you want me, areum, you should be willing to do anything i tell you. and when i say anything, it means everything that leaves my mouth. will you be able to do that for me?" i ask, stroking her cheek gently with my thumb, "hm, areum, i know you want me. i can see it in your eyes. so tell me, can you do whatever i tell you to?"

areum frowns at ny words, opening her mouth to say something, although something changes in her expression and her eyes soften, nodding gradually. "i prefer hearing you say it."

"i'll do anything you say..." she closes her eyes, releasing a sigh with her words.

"so, you admit that you want me?" i chuckle.

"i do."

i knew it. i close the gap between us, hoping and praying in my mind that the kids don't interrupt us right now, like they've done before. sneaking a quick glance back at the small door, i turn areum around, caving her short figure against the wall, before dipping my head down and smashing my lips on hers. finally.

her soft, pillowy lips make me want to devour her down, drink her in until she's all i have running in my veins. until i feel sated enough, which although feels like never. it takes her a moment to kiss me back, although eventually her lips move fluently against mine, arms circling around my neck, resting her back against the wall, pulling me all to herself. she's just as hungry as i am.

"dammit..." a grunt escapes my throat, eyes fixed on areum's glossy lips, tempting me more than they did a few moments ago and i give in to the urge. kissing her again, she makes a sound that travels all through my body, loving how she loves this just as much as i do. "you're insatiable." i growl against her mouth, between the kiss, pulling her hips flush into mine. "i want to-"

"lily no!" suho's whining voice makes areum push me hastily, and i stumble back, taking a few large steps away from her, coughing loudly to clear out some awkwardness. that's when i realise the kids aren't even coming inside. they're probably busy playing on their own after disturbing us like they've been doing ever since the beginning. why can't they just shut up for a while and let me have a moment with areum?

"uh," i clear my throat, checking on areum and catch her fixing herself, midst of which her hand stops by her chest, probably feeling her heart thumping insanely fast. i smile, stepping nsar her again, "do you want me check your heartbeat, darling?" i mumble, tracing a finger over her hand, watching how effortlessly it slips away and she looks down, nibbling on the lower lip, that i just tasted. damn, can you believe it?

"i know that lamp barely makes it any brighter, but i must tell you that it does a poor job hiding that blush from me." i say, making her break into a silent chuckle, slapping my chest lightly before stepping forward and hugs me. i wrap my arms around her, tightening my grip with a soft groan, "never thought i'd get to hold you. not when your son keeps interrupting me." the last part comes more as a muttering, making areum laugh.

she tilts her head up, arching up a brow, "he's a child and he needs his mother. what's wrong in that?"

"i'll tell you what's wrong." i can't help my gaze frequently dropping to her lips now that i know just how sweet and luscious they are, and the fact i already miss them. "i could've kissed you earlier if he didn't wake up that night, or maybe the next day if he didn't barge in on us, or maybe before dinner the other day? even today... i wanted more. i still do."

she stares at me with her cheeks turning a red, as though all the blood was suddenly rushing to her face with double intensity than it did till now. i lean down to kiss her lips again, only for a second this time. "i could keep doing this all the time. fuck!"

"jungkook, i-"

"eomma! lily is pulling my hair!" this time suho runs inside and i step back again, leaving the way for him to get to his mother while lily stops by my side, pouting at me, sticking to my side.

"you were pulling his hair?" i ask with my eyes narrowed, making lily lower her gaze and stare down at the floor. that's the look of guilt. "that's not good, princess. suho's always nice with you. why did you pull his hair?"

she holds my hand, not gesturing anything and hugs my side. "hey, you cannot do-"

"i just asked if she knew her eomma." suho says, making me pause with my words, glancing at the boy, now releasing a deep sigh. areum too, looks a bit worried when she meets my eyes, virtually apologizing for her son's innocent question that hurt lily. i give her a small smile, shaking my head as a gesture that it's not a big deal.

"suho," areum starts softly, "not everyone is okay discussing everything. maybe lily doesn't want to talk about her eomma."

"no, i asked her if she has her eomma, and she shook her head. means she doesn't have eomma. but- but everyone has eomma, right? appa can be absent, but eomma is always there."

areum shakes her head, "no, baby. who told you that? if someone's appa can be absent- for whatever reason- so can be someone's eomma. but that doesn't make anyone any less of a person than you. and you should be thoughtful of others' feelings, i've always told you that, haven't i?"

"yes..." suho nods slowly, "i didn't mean hurt lily. i was curious..."

"it's- it's fine, suho. it's alright." i speak before areum does and quickly carry lily up, stroking her back as she hugs me tightly. "i'll take her out for a while." i say, walking towards the door, sighing softly as i lower my head into lily's shoulder, pressing a kiss over the fabric of her dress.

"i think lily will like a little walk, hm?" i whisper to my baby, not getting any response from her.

"jungkook-"

"i'll come back in a while. don't worry." i assure areum with a sincere smile, making her stop and nod, letting me walk out with lily.

the streets are all quiet except for a few passerbies who are probably travelling from a long distance. i walk towards the grazing field, closer to lily's favorite tree and i smile, glancing at her sideways, "look, it's your favourite place. it's so nice and cool out here, isn't it?"

she straightens in my arms, looking around and nods slowly, reaching out for a branch hanging low and struggles to break a twig with one hand, for the other is still not healed. so, i help her get the tiniest branch with some leaves on it, making her smile a little, "what are you going to do with that?" she points behind the trunk where she had hid her treasure. "oh, is this going in your treasure?"

lily shakes her head as i walk up to the spot, when suddenly she gasps and hits my shoulder, making me halt exactly where i am. "what?" she glares at me, pointing down at the ground, so i put her down. she just pushed me back. "what's wrong? did i do something?"

her angry eyes lead mine to the ground, where i now see some messy lines made with the help of a stick. i move a little to let the moonlight fall on it, clearing the sight for me better than before. it's a decent attempt from a seven-year-old to draw a little girl with a taller and muscular man. that's me and lily. we're holding hands and both are smiling, or so i'd like to conclude from the upward curve in their faces.

"it's nice." i say, crouching down next to lily and she quietly moves in front of me, holding a stick in her hand, trying her best to draw more. i don't understand what she's trying to do, although after a few curved lines and odd shapes that she makes here and there, joining them all with weird lines, the creation starts sinking in my head.

she was four when it happened.

it makes my throat dry to look at the past so vividly true and real right in front of me, however it's deeper and hurts more than it ever has, for it's still the first time for me to see it from lily's eyes. she never drew anything like this before, neither tried to ask me anything related to mother's death, to her own loss of voice. i never had any interest in telling her either, not until she's old enough to know.

it's just a drawing on the ground, but in my head it all plays out exactly how i saw it. we used to live in the smallest house one can imagine, after the exile. not even in this kingdom. we were in kaedith, which was initially our mother's land. she knew the king had his spies after us to find us, keep an eye on us and inform him of everything that we did. but never kill us. because now i know he wanted to do it himself.

chief seokjin knew all this and so did my mother. they used to be extremely precautious of every move, every decision. chief had started training me soon after the exile began, saying that with an infant, the queen couldn't battle too much. nor was she supposed to when she had her son. to protect all three of us, chief started training me secretly at nights when the only source of light was a dim lantern and the moon.

because during the day the spies had their eyes on us.

we managed to survive that way for three years with chief seokjin helping us at every step that he could, risking his job and entire life at the worst case. yet, he kept training me, putting me through different situations until i gained perfection in the art of weaponry and combat. they probably knew that i was getting better and could protect the queen and the princess, which is why they came when i wasn't with them.

by the time i arrived that day, everything had changed forever. chief seokjin was badly injured, bleeding, but he held on the princess close to his chest, holding his sword in the free hand, cutting open anyone who dared to come closer to the princess. by this time mother was already lying on the side, blood oozing out from her stomach where she had been stabbed. i was the one who took the sword out of her, tears flowing from her eyes when she looked at me for the last time, using whatever energy she had left within to gesture her hand towards the crying little girl.

that was the first time i killed someone and never regretted it. those men took my mother's life, so i took theirs.

when chief handed lily over to me, his clear instructions were for me to run. i did argue with him on staying and fighting, but his strained voice spoke everything in contrast. with the sword he gave me and a dagger hidden in my boot, i ran from there, holding lily in my arms. those who chased me never returned as i killed them before they did any damage, but still they were more in number and i was only seventeen.

one of them had eventually separated lily from me. i still remember the horror that filled me when i saw lily crying on the ground, the man raising up his sword, while i had dropped mine midst a fight. i couldn't stand up due to the deep gash on my leg, but somehow, managed to move and gave a deeper cut to the man. he had stumbled and missed his aim.

i stabbed him continuously until he stopped moving, and everything was still. to my fear, lily too. tears filled in my eyes when i brought her in my arms, noticing the bleeding cut the man had left on her neck. but she was still breathing. i couldn't just sit there and let us die. let lily die. after tying a piece of my shirt around my leg and pressing one on lily's neck, i continued moving until we reached a small village.

a healer from there helped us out. he saved lily, but unfortunately that cut on her neck resulted in permanent loss of voice for her. initially it was extremely challenging for us, especially for lily because suddenly when she woke up she couldn't speak. her lips moved to call my name, crying and eyes scared of everything that her brain had saved. i hated it. every tear that she cried made my heart weep too. it was so tough, she wouldn't let go of me, scared of every other thing and person.

some men had attacked her and her mother. she saw her mother being murdered in front of her eyes, then the some man also tried killing her, and even though she survived, she couldn't speak anymore. all that trauma and fear locked inside her with no escape. i wish i could bring my lily's voice back to her.

that's nothing like what a four-year-old should go through.

the thing that hurts me the most is that lily can't even try to tell me when she's scared, when she wants me to hug her tighter and not leave her alone. most of the time i have to assume that's what she wants.

a gentle tap on my shoulder blinks me awake from the past that is clearly depicted in her drawing that she has completed now. it's all from the very day. some people, big people are shown holding weapons, while a little child and her mother, i assume, are cornered. the mother is holding some weapon too while the child is hiding behind her. on the other side there's another man standing against four people. to show that they're the bad ones, lily has made devil's horns on their heads.

that's what she remembers from that day.

she stands next to me, leaning on my arm as her eyes move to meet mine, trying to communicate virtually. "it's okay." i whisper to her in a soft tone of voice, circling my arm around her tiny frame. "suho doesn't know what happened. he didn't mean to hurt you. he's your friend, isn't he?"

lily thinks for moment before nodding, "yes, and we can forgive our friends sometimes." on that she frowns and shakes her head, making me sigh. "no, lily. suho is such a good friend to you. he always takes care of you and plays with you, you even like going out sometimes with him and his eomma, don't you?"

lily holds onto my shirt, motioning her other hand towards herself then back in the direction where we just came from. her brows scrunch together, as she hesitates a little, probably figuring out how to get her thoughts across me. even after waiting for a while, she does nothing and pouts, tears pooling her eyes in defeat against her inability to speak, i sigh softly, cupping her face, "did he say anything else too?" 

lily sniffles in response, shaking her head, even though her finger points at the drawing where she's hiding behind our mother. "he asked about mother?" lily nods to that, then quickly picks up the stick again, drawing another man, this one with a crown on his head. "king..." the word leaves my mouth as lily shakes her head, making me frown. "he's not the king?"

frustration is evident on lily's expression, which makes tears roll down her cheeks, failing to explain what she has to say. "okay, okay, please don't cry. i'm sorry i'm unable to understand, princess." i sigh, hugging her warmly. lily breaks the hug, however, returning back to the drawing and points at the man. "he's uh prince taehyung? the one who just came home?"

lily shakes her head and draws a female next to her, also wearing the crown. "the king and queen— your mother and father?" i ask, earning a nod this time, "suho asked about father too?" lily nods, rubbing her eyes before hugging me tightly, sobbing on my shoulder.

"it's not his fault, baby. he didn't mean to hurt you. he's your friend. if he knew that you don't like hearing about it, then i'm sure he would never being it up." i say, carrying her up in my arms, holding her closely in my embrace. "lily's my strong princess, isn't she? why's she crying over something her friend accidentally said?"

lily shakes her head as i rub her back, staring up at the stars, wondering if mother's watching us. warm tears fill my eyes too, recalling her pleasant face and the smile she used to wear around us. my arms tighten around lily, lowering my head in the crook of her neck, "everything will be fine..." i mumble, "very soon. that bastard will pay for hurting you, for taking our mother away from us, for everything that he has done in his life."

lily lifts her head up, hastily pulling my right hand in his, holding it tightly and bringing it to her chest. with tears threatening to fall, i smile at her and give a brief nod, "and i'll stay with princess lily as her brother, mother, father, protector, everything. you have my word, princess."

lily tilts her head, rubbing the tears away from her eyes to make a clear eye contact, eyes questioning me if i meant to stay with her forever. "till my last breath." i promise, "don't be scared, okay? you're a princess. royalties never get afraid of anything. we fight for what's right, even if have to give our lives for that. our loved ones, our kingdom, the realm, the people, are all whom we have to protect and cherish."

she points at herself and then at me, making me smile, "yes, lily and koo as well." i let out a soft chuckle, patting her head, "shall we go back now? are you feeling better?"

lily gives me a nod, but hugs me again, resting her head on my shoulder. she must be sleepy now. it's already pretty late. stroking her back, i return back after taking a short walk to make sure lily can fall asleep without having to face suho until morning, when i know she'll quickly forgive and forget, and start playing with the boy again.

areum's sitting down, while her son is lying down with his head on her lap. she pats his hair, putting him to sleep when i enter, drawing attention from her and even suho. the boy quickly sits up, staring at me with guilty eyes. "i'm sorry..." he mumbles, "i didn't want to hurt lily. please tell her to be my friend..."

i smile at his words, getting near him as i lay lily down, patting over her tummy to keep her asleep, "she's still your friend. don't worry." i tell suho, "you can talk to her in the morning when she wakes up. now you should get some rest too, okay?"

"yes, now go to sleep." areum smiles as well, ruffling her son's hair, before glancing at lily and then at me, "he was waiting for lily."

"i understand. it's just lily's... a little sensitive when it comes to our past." i say, taking a deep breath as i put up a smile for suho, patting his head, "just give her some time. she'll be fine. and i'm sorry if she hurt you."

"no, i'm okay. ap— hyung..." he gulps, and i catch areum stiffening at her spot. "is there anything else that makes lily upset? please tell me, so i don't say it infront of her."

his innocent attempt of making sure lily's never upset with him, makes me chuckle, "thank you for thinking so much about her, suho. she's fine, really. and i'm sure you'll eventually learn a lot about her, just go with her pace. she can't speak, i know, but i'm impressed how quickly you started understanding her."

"yeah, we're friends. eomma says that friends don't always have to talk to understand each other." he says.

"your eomma's right." i hum, glancing at areum, who smiles softly, shifting forward and wraps her arms around me. the action takes me by surprise for her son is still sitting here wide awake.

"i'm sorry, suho didn't mean to—"

"i know. it's alright." i pat her side, checking suho's reaction, which makes me want to laugh for he's frowning at us. "someone's got a lot a courage, huh?" i whisper to his mother, earning a silent gasp and light smack on my chest. "look at your boy. he's going to fight me for touching you." i chuckle.

"we're friends too," areum looks at me with a teasing smile, "just like lily and suho."

it's all sweet and cute, until it hits me. i kissed areum. my eyes widen with the realisation, pulling away from the hug, "no. jus-just no."

"jungkook, what are you thinking?" areum grins, "are we not friends?"

"no." i squint at her, "dare you call me a friend, areum..."

"then what do i call you?" she asks, turning to her son and asks him, "isn't jungkook my friend? like you are lily's friend?"

"mm'hm," suho nods.

"no... please, stop saying that." i shake my head, watching areum smiling knowingly. "areum, i'm serious. i'm not your friend."

"then what are you to me if not a friend?"

sighing at that, i tuck her hair behind her ear, "since you're desperate to hear it. i'm your potential husband, darling."

"darling?" suho repeats, "eomma is darling?"

"mine, yes." i nod.

"what are you saying to him?" areum eyes me to keep quiet. but guess it's my time to play the game.

"are you marrying my eomma?"

"suho, it's—"

"do you think i should marry her?"

"yes!" suho smiles widely, jumping forward in my arms as he hugs me tightly. "you're a good man. you don't want to hurt eomma and take her away from me. and you make her smile. i think you should marry eomma."

"oh, thank you." i grin, facing areum, who's blushing hard. "what do you say, eomma? will you marry me?"

"yes, yes! say yes!" suho cheers and i chuckle amusedly.

"okay okay, quiet. you both will wake lily up." areum says, hushing me and suho down, leaving me surprised for even i almost forgot lily's sleeping just behind me. "suho, come here and sleep. we'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

"but eomma—"

"sleep." she tells him a bit firmly.

"she's right." i nod, making the boy lay down next to lily, "turn that side and sleep."

"why that side?" suho asks.

"because..." can i tell him that i want to be beside his mother? "if you do, i'll take you and lily out tomorrow."

"to the palace with you?" suho asks excitedly, and i nod without a thought. "yes! thank you!" he says and faces lily, closing his eyes like a good boy.

"that was easy." i whisper, glancing at areum, who shakes her head. she lets her hair down running her fingers through them as she roughly tries to comb them, which i personally feel is tempting right now. how can anyone be so beautiful? 

holding her hand, i pull her down beside me. she's still next to her son, but he's turned the other side and areum is facing me. i lean closer to her face, almost going to kiss her lips, but she stops me with her hand on my chest, "suho isn't sleeping." she whispers.

"i am." the boy replies.

"see? he's sleeping." i grin, pulling her body closer to mine and whisper in her ear, "come on, darling, don't push me away."

"but—"

"suho's asleep, right?" i ask, holding in a laugh as the boy holds his hand up, giving us a thumbs up. "he's such a sweet boy. i should definitely treat him tomorrow."

"you're shameless. if i knew what kind of man you were, i wouldn't ever let you in my life." areum huffs.

"too late for all that." i shrug, "now please, let me just—"

"lily..." suho mumbles and i sit up too, frowning as i see lily squirming in her sleep. i move to her quickly, laying beside her and wrap my arms around her.

"shh, i'm here." i pat her side as lily moves closer to me, opening her eyes to find me. her lips mould into a pout soon enough, breaking into a silent sob. "i'm right here with you, princess." i bring her on my lap, sitting up against the wall.

"i'm so sorry, lily..." suho mumbles, shifting near us and tries to hold lily's hand. her reaction makes me frown with worry, the way she thrashes to stick close to me, almost hitting suho in the process, trying to stay away from anyone who's not me.

"lily," i cup her face, leaning closer to her, making her look in my eyes, "shh, relax, kiddo. we're alright." my thumb gently wipes her tears, another hand rubbing her back to soothe her down from the sobs and hiccups. "did you have a bad dream?" she crashes into my chest, trembling with fear and worked up like she had just ran a mile.

"get her to drink some water." areum says softly, sitting down beside me, holding a cup of water for lily, watching her with concerned eyes.

"okay, look at me." i sigh, positioning lily to face me, holding her tiny body in my arms, rocking her slowly. "what happened, princess? you're starting to worry me now..." even though i don't intend to say it out loud, the words escape my mouth, knowing that lily probably wouldn't mind them, but it might actually weigh down on me. i cannot lie to my own self.

a warm hand rests on my bicep, stroking in a gentle manner, making me glance at areum, who sends me a reassuring smile, as if saying that lily will be alright in no time. i hope so too. 

i lower my head in lily's shoulder again, pressing a kiss, while keeping her close. "i love you..." i whisper, having a sudden need to hear it back from her. three years and i've not heard lily's voice, her giggles, her laughs when we played together, or even her complaining, calling my name. nothing. i wish i could hear her again. i want to hear my little girl's voice again.

lily pulls back a little, her tiny hands moving up my chest until she finds the necklace i wear all the time. it was from the queen. our mother. she had given one to lily too, but it got lost that day. i'm not even sure if lily has any clear memory of mother, but she often takes her time to memorize the details on the pendant i wear, fascinated by the stone it has and the intricate design which comes from the royal family.

and so, i hold her hand, stopping her from pulling it out right now in front of areum. lily likes to think of the pendant as the purest memory of mother as it is, for i've always told her stories of my childhood, her own baby days when mother was with us, all while letting her admire the gold necklace.

she whines, pleading me with crying eyes and i have no option than to shake my head as subtly as i can. "don't." i whisper, "listen to me, we're fine here and we're going to sleep now. stay still, lily." she obeys without any difficulty, no matter how much she wants to throw a fit and protest against me, but when i ask her to stay still, she has grown a habit of staying still at all costs. that's how i survived hidden with a child for three years.

areum must be surprised how lily's cries slow down and she stays quiet in my arms, eyes shut and hands clutching my shirt, waiting for whatever danger i sensed, to pass. i pat her back in a gentle rhythm, hoping for her to fall asleep again and this time actually get a sound sleep with no nightmares.

in the quiet of the night, i rest my head back against the wall, closing my eyes, while areum stays beside me, slowly hugging my arm and snuggles to my side. her warmth itself lifts off some weight from my shoulders in a way that i've never experienced before. she hasn't uttered a word, yet her presence alone gives me the strength to hold on.

lily crying this way and being haunted by the past was never a pleasant sight for me. it's like someone's forcefully sucking out every last drop of blood from my veins, my nerves being stimulated till numbness. i don't know how accurate i might sound, but the feeling is perpetually tormenting.

"she's going to be fine." the words enter my ears, making me open my eyes, glancing at the door instead of areum, who said them. the door is so old that frame is starting to come off the wall and the wood is almost all rotten.

"tomorrow i'll fix the door and the windows too." i say purely out of context. but they need to be fixed. taehyung will definitely do something after tonight, which might have areum and the kids to stay here for longer duration without me. i must make sure of their safety.

"jungkook," she calls me softly, her warm hand cupping my face and makes me glance at her. when i finally meet the dazzling blue gaze, i see layers and layers of worry and empathy. i'm not sure what she must be finding in my eyes. maybe they're dark and scream warnings of truth ravelled with lies and deceit. i'll probably break her.

"everything will be okay. don't worry." she assures me with a hug, "i'm here for you."

"i know." i nod, tearing my eyes from areum and move to her son, who looks scared too, laying beside his mother, resting his head on her lap while she's leaning onto me. "you both should sleep." i sigh, gesturing areum to lie down with suho and sleep properly.

"and you?"

"i can't move right now. it's alright, though. i've spent plenty of nights sitting like this. i'm okay." it's not a lie, when lily fell sick or needed to be in my arms more than usual, when she felt scared, i often stayed up and held her against my chest, letting her sleep peacefully. it warms my heart how much she trusts me that just by having me holding her like this is a sign of security and privacy for her.

"i'll stay up with you..." areum offers and i look at her, shaking my head. "but—"

"please, areum. go to sleep. we'll talk tomorrow."

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a/n: please take care of yourself. i'm sorry if i said smth that i shouldn't have said in the beginning of the chapter. i was emotional okay? 🤧 sigh, anyway, about the Q/A as you know, i'm accepting questions until the end of this series, so you can think and ponder all you want, ask whatever questions you wish to know more about.

byeeeee see you in the next chapter <3