[[ Self Harm Ahead ]]
You've been warned

(Don't play it yet)

My daily routine was shower eat, work, eat, shower, sleep. It went like that for about 2 months. I didn't say anything to anyone, Tae no longer let me in his room, I gave Jimin back his room. I slept where I could, I didn't talk to anyone. It's not like I didn't try talking to them, I just lost my fighting spirit. I would wait for them one by one, now no one would look at me or talk to me it was like I was invisible.

S

o I stopped talking & I slept in the one place I knew I was safe, my car.

Play The Song Now

Today I plan on breaking my promise to Suga, Namjoon, Hobi, Jungkook. Jungkook promised he would protect me same as Suga. They were rude to me all the time, shoving me like I was trash. They grew distant, everything turned to shit.

No one was nice anymore, I'm so tired I'm back to being a toy. I broke my razor this morning, I cut myself many times in the shower. I'd bandage myself up and act like nothing was wrong, On my rest day, I got a tattoo saying:

My Spirit is Broken
Just Like My Heart

When I got home, they changed the locks on me. I was a total mess, so I slept in my car again, I had to buy my own food now. I was so tired I'm giving up now, I was done I wrote a note to the boys:

To Whomever Cares,

I'll make this a happy
house again, I knew with
me being here I found
out it's me. I'm the
problem, I was just
getting use to this place.

It was starting to
be like a real home,
well for me it was.
I'm so sorry, for invading
home, that was never
my intention at all.

It's good though because
after today, I'll be no ones burden. I won't disturb
within these walls,
your home, your sanctuary.

I just wanted to
tell you that I'm proud,
I'm proud to be apart
of this awesome family you
all have, but I just wanted
to say I found it.

I have finally found it,
where it is and where it's been hiding. It was with the
Seven of you, I Love
You Guys But It's time
for me to say farewell
To say Goodbye to my
Family
Love Bells

I ran to the front door I nailed that shit to the peephole, I drove off. I was crying because I was sad no one loved me anymore, it's my own damn fault though. I prayed they didn't come looking for me, I wanted the pain to go away I wanted to be free.

I drove to the cliff around the corner from the house, I put the same note on the windshield. I felt the sun and the breeze hit me, I took a step over towards the edge. This was it, I jumped I soared thru the air I held back my scream as the water swallowed me up.

- Jungkook & Suga -
We just got home, we had to go to Busan. We needed a home cooked meal, the house was so dead. She never smiled anymore, we were going to confront her about the blood in the shower. But she has left, it was her day off. I noticed a note on the door, I read it over and over.

I handed it to Hyung grab the boys, V says she's always at the cliff. Fuckkk shes going to jump, I run and jump over things in my way. Not caring if I get hurt, dammit we were just giving her space.

How could I be so fucking stupid, I see her ahead I yell Bella don't jump. She jumped, no scream or anything. The realization came to my head that we hurt her more with our silence, I took off my coat and jumped in after her.

I dove under to look for her, I search and search till I see her jacket. I use all my strength and I pull her up, I swim up to the surface. I take in much-needed air, I pull her to the rocks. I give her mouth to mouth, BREATHE DAMMIT.

FUCK BELLA DONT GIVE UP DAMMIT WE LOVE YOU. So PLEASE we need you more than you need us. I cry and cry, I look down, I see her eyes flutter open, she was trying to say something. What? Get off me stupid your fucking heavy, I go to hug her.

I pull back my arm and I swing as hard as I can that's for ignoring me you sucking asshole. Dammit, your fave broke my hand, I hit him with my other hand.

I see the others above me as I flip them off too if this is how you treat your family. I feel sorry for your future wives, especially you Namjoon you'd probably break her. I hate you fuckers all 7 of you, I try to sit up but I'm held down.

I'm met with a face inches from me, do you hate me that much? That all 7 of you ignored me, V kicked me out of his room. Namjoon & Hobi said I was a waste of space, Suga & Jimin ignored me like I was invisible.
Jin banned me from the kitchen, I would never marry because I would never be the perfect daughter.

I pushed him off me, I brought my knees to my chest hiding my scars. You guys broke me so much, that In order to feel something or any type of emotion I started cutting. I got a new tattoo to match my mind and spirit.

You guys manage to break my spirit, I don't know if I belong here anymore. I'm done, I thought I was home but it turned into hell all over again. The only difference was, I didn't get beat or raped. This hurts way more than a beating or when my virginity was taken.

I'm human to Kookie, what happened to your promise to me all those years ago? When I took your first kiss. You broke it, you broke my heart and you broke my spirit.

What more do you want from me? Now I truly need space, I can't I don't want to say anything more I might regret it. I walked away and didn't look back, I had my credit card and that was it. I went to the only place that gave comfort, the tattoo parlor.

When I walked in I time her what I wanted, it would be my 7th one my last one. She gave me one look and she knew, she knew what I needed. She gave it to me, she gave me her embrace and a place for me to cry. Auntie has been my savior since I got my tattoo the first time. I told her, after this, I gotta go buy some clean clothes and a place to sleep.

She told me to stay till closing, I stayed and coated with the customers. They were pretty cool, no asking about the stories about my tattoos but I did tell them that each one resembled a family member of mine. Everyone left, she had me help her sterilize everything and had me follow her upstairs.

She had a cat just like Jimin, A tear fell. Yeah, your cat reminds me of someone, oh honey his isn't mine. I'm cat sitting for my nephew, no way. I took a big breath releasing it slowly, your nephew is Park Jimin isn't it? She nodded, thank you, auntie, for everything but I will not be here when he comes to get him.

Your Bella, then? I nod my head slowly, tell me everything! I told her every single detail not holding anything back. I told her what I tried to do, she slapped my neck but apologized right after. Auntie, I found my true family and where I finally found where I belong. But I'm scared, I don't want to lose them.

Let's find out home much you mean to them! How will you do that? Let auntie think about that.