DO NOT READ THIS REVIEW IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE STORY AS IT WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!

Before I get started with my overall feedback on your story, let me first thank you for applying! I appreciate you giving me a chance to try and help. I hope you are able to find some valuable insight in this feedback!

Please keep in mind that what you are about to read is just my opinion and you don't have to agree with it. They are merely suggestions.

I will break my overall feedback up into three distinct sections: what works, what might need some tweaking/clarifying, and my overall thoughts.

What Works

- Your Description: (You'll also find it in my tweaking/clarifying section, but I'll explain it in more detail there). There were many instances where your description was like a cinematic masterpiece! I could clearly visualize the romantic love story that you were spinning for Aera and Taehyung. I also have to say those latter chapters when we had the drama brought in by the reappearance of Aera's father and stepsister made it so I was anxiously clicking on to the next chapter. This gave the feel of a K-Drama, unfolding through your details in such a way that it felt like it was actually on the television. I could take some lessons on descriptions from you for sure!

- Character Development: I'm absolutely in love with Aera and Taehyung! I love the depth that you give to their characters. You know that your character work is good when I'm already rooting for them as a couple in the first few chapters. They both have equally difficult backgrounds that they have come from that have shaped them into the artistic individuals they are. That scene where Taehyung broke down and Aera offered to be his new addiction...that was applause worthy, I swear. I felt for them both so much.

I also really liked the introduction of a second love story through Jimin and Lara. I realize they weren't the main focus of this story, but I have to say when they were just getting somewhere and we didn't see them again for several chapters, I kept wondering what the state of their relationship was. You were able to create characters that feel so lifelike which can be a really difficult feat! You should be extremely proud!

- Your Storyline: I really love the idea of Taehyung falling for Aera, a blind painter that is able to see the world in her own unique point of view. The struggles they face and overcome together culminating in their happy reunion during your last update (along with an additional surprise) make me eager to see where their journey will go next! There didn't seem to be any major plot holes as far as I could tell. I am over here eagerly waiting on the next update! 😁

What May Need Tweaking/Clarifying

- Aera's Blindness: You might want to clarify just how blind Aera is. I couldn't seem to recall a section where you talked about how blind she was, so I was under the assumption that she was totally blind. I can see in the comments where other readers thought the same. This assumption was challenged though in such instances like when Aera could tell there were bright lights about and wondered if they were fireflies or when she described Taehyung's surroundings as vibrant. There was also an instance in a later chapter in the book where Aera was able to spot a small grocery store across the street on her own. I'm confused as to how she could spot it in her condition.

I also wonder how she accurately knows what certain things look like. I get that things could be described to her, and not having been blind myself I'm not sure how they teach them these things, but her painting an accurate depiction of their surroundings during their first picnic date was also a bit confusing to me.

- Your Description: Your story is filled with vivid descriptions that help to accurately paint the scenes that are unfolding within it. Since you rely so heavily on descriptions though, you need to make sure that you're careful about using repetitive descriptions, especially close together.

Here are some examples so you can see what I'm talking about.

In chapter 17 you used the descriptor "silent promise" twice in close succession.

"He carefully untangled himself from her, his every movement a silent promise to return."

"He carefully transferred it to a plate, a silent promise of comfort and love."

In Chapter 18, you used this descriptor again when you said, "His touch was a reassuring constant, a silent promise of support." There was also another sentence in this chapter that read, "A silent promise hung in the air."

The descriptor that stood out to me the most though was "stark contrast". When I first really started to notice it repeating, I noticed that was a common thing you did. In chapter 18, you even used "stark" as a descriptor twice in the same paragraph: "...the stark contrast to Mr. Lee's warm office..." & "...stark white wall adorned with framed photographs...".

Here are some instances of this descriptor being used again in chapter 19:

"...their soft descent a stark contrast to the storm raging in Lara's heart."

"The delicate china felt alien in her grasp, a stark contrast to the sturdy mugs of her cozy cafe."

"...a stark contrast to the formal chill of the living room."

There are other instances of repetitive descriptions being used, but the one above is the one I seemed to notice the most. This is something that you'll end up catching for yourself during your second draft phase. Please don't take this as me hating your descriptions. When I edit my stories after publishing the initial first draft, I find that I too repeat certain words. First drafts are always for getting our ideas out on paper and we often don't notice these things ourselves until the second run through.

Overall Thoughts

I am absolutely in love with your story and the way you write! It was such a magical experience reading your book and I hope that you will end up updating it soon! I want to read the next installment!

This is my first time writing something like this, so I hope that the feedback I gave you will help you as you continue writing and eventually complete your story. If you have any questions or concerns about anything I said, please feel free to either leave it in a comment on this chapter or reach out to me in some way or form.

Have a great day and thank you again for choosing the Magic Shop! 💜