Kissing

Warm and soft

Safe

Closed eyes

In our new world, nobody could touch us

We were free

Clouds of dust, fairy dust, and we were cozed up on the puff, golden around us.

You were soft against me, warm as I kissed your warm lips

We were flying

And we were free

That's when we broke the silence, she broke the silence

Scattered apart as she entered the room, erasing the calm atmosphere, the golden dust blinding her, she gasped when she saw us kissing

A boy and a girl

She gasped out

Not what I expected

This is not Boy and girl! She yelled, appalled that we were not what she wanted.

She closed her eyes as our hearts raced, not only from the outburst but from the kisses before, from what would happen after this.

Would I ever see my love again?

"Shut Up!" The woman yelled, my mom, ... Yelled...

As if she could hear my thoughts and worries, her mouth wide open and shocked, appalled.

"How -how," she couldn't even mutter the words.

All there was was her slow steps towards me, ready to say something but once she got close to the bed I sat in, she went silent again.

Her eyes bulging, shock cording through her being, looking like she just lost her mind, she couldn't believe it, she looked at me like it wasn't true.

She didn't just see me kiss a girl.

She didn't just see her daughter kiss another girl, another daughter from another mother.

I could feel her pain too, the disappointment it always brought to see myself, to know I wasn't the same, I was gay, a taboo.

She shook her head, tears swelling up in her gorgeous eyes, shaking her head furiously.

"No," she began, muttering softly, "No...no," they grew louder with each passing second, echoing through my heart at her wails.

"No!!!" She cried, shaking her head, backing away like I was a disease, her finger in the air.

She didn't believe it, couldn't believe it.

She just witnessed the best make out session of my life, entered the fairytale dust land, assuming I was just hanging out with my friend, assuming I was alone, maybe I hadn't told her that my friend came over, maybe she was just surprised I was hanging out with a girl... Maybe, that's a possibility, right?

I mean, my mom always knew I was the quiet kid of some sorts. Never really had friends, I was always the odd one out, short hair, awkward stance with clothes too big to fit with hair to short to think the blond streaks were real. My mom probably was just sad that her little girl was growing up... Making... Friends?

....

Doubtful....

Ya ....

Yep...

Doubtful.

I laid my head low...

Looking down.

I don't deserve her love

I'm a bad person

Disappointed is what I am

The mother shook her head once more, she's no longer my mother, I'm just a kid, a human, no, an alien, not life like, at least not to her anymore.

I kept my head low, not daring to watch her quiver, taking steps back, tripping over her feet as she slowly tried to retreat.

I'm sorry!

I'M SORRY!!!- I wanted to yell

I wanted to cry

And then she was gone, barely left the sunlit room, the door not even trying to stay closed, it was more of an escape, act natural and calm as you made your way out.

Yes... Yes, that's my mom.

Oh, mom

I'm sorry

I'm,- I'm so sorry

I'm a horrible person

Oh ... Oh, SOOO horrible...

....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-A made up story that came to me, a calling that this would relate to someone, that maybe this is someone's story waiting to be told... It just flowed right out.
So, to whoever this story is called to, to whoever related to this, this is meant for you.

This story shows the thinking process of many people part of the LGBTQ+ community when knowing they're Queer.

The thoughts in their heads when coming out and thinking they're a disappointment is very normal.

All the pleasures and the happiness that comes with being a certain sexuality comes also with the consequences, and many forget the happiness and who they are just so they can be accepted.
So they blame themselves and stay hidden, fitting in the norms. Many block out their lover friend instead of staying with them despite what others will think, just to be accepted.

Thinking that when being gay is your fault that your parents, friends, guardian don't love you anymore
When really, that's their fault, their problem...
They have to deal with that not you.

Their reaction just shows you of how true their love for you was... It's not your fault.

There is nothing bad about being gay, just like there is nothing bad with being straight.

I want you to know, that you're amazing and worthy.

You are not a disease, foreign, non human or disgusting for being a different sexuality than someone else.

❤️❤️❤️🌈You are amazing❤️❤️🌈❤️

You are not alone and these feelings you're having are real and true, so listen to them, don't ignore them, listen to them and voice them...

Listen to the voice that tells you "You're AMAZING"

It might be a soft voice, but it'll always call out to you, so listen to that one, try to find it even when the rest of the voices may appear louder.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️