Elena

I felt like I had a pit in my stomach that I would never be able to fill. The house was plunged into darkness as I tiptoed around the furniture so as not to wake any of the servants. Victor would never let me into the kitchen to do anything by myself. The thought made me smile. I thought I was happy, but to hear him tell me that he loves me, repeat it to me morning, noon and night, that was many times better.

I stopped in the kitchen doorway and looked back. Victor is sleeping, I know he is, because after I put on a tampon, I stayed in the bedroom to make sure he didn't feel me when I got out of bed and then showered. But at night sometimes guards came in, or maybe one of the maids got up earlier. I took a deep breath and my heart fluttered as I tiptoed past the kitchen island, grabbed the handles and opened wide the Heaven, or the fridge, depending on the point of view.

The light hit me in the face, but in front of the pasties with chocolate glaze, the cake with Bavarian cream and sugar flowers, the fruit yogurts, the puddings and the glazed almonds, no light was enough to make me squint. With a big smile and a mouth full of saliva, I grabbed the bottle of cream, the cake and a pudding and turned to place them on the counter, barely dropping them.

"Victor!" I would recognize his silhouette even blindfolded. He was standing with his legs slightly apart, his hands on his chest, and from what I could only see from the light of the refrigerator, he didn't look happy. "I just wanted to..." he leaned forward slightly and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw his smile. The dream was still visible on his face. "The red moth appeared and my wife didn't wake me up?" I felt my face burning and looked down at the sweets in my hands.

"I...I'm just hungry and..." Victor sighed, walking around and behind me, closing the refrigerator and turning on the light above the kitchen counters. "I saw you taking painkillers last night, do you still have a headache?" he stood behind me and took the pudding and the cake from my hands. "From where..." I turned to look at him and he surprised me with a small kiss. "You are my wife Elena, on Koh Samui you had the same headache and a few hours later your period came. Do you really think I won't feel it if my wife slips out of bed in the middle of the night?" he put the sweets on the counter, turned me towards him and with his hands on my waist, lifted me up and made me sit on the counter.

"Are you missing anything at all?" I rested my hands on the edge and kicked my feet, watching him take out two plates, forks and a knife. "Not when it comes to you,my love" he pecked my lips and I watched as he cut off two pieces of cake, smashed the pudding, opened it, spread it over the two cakes, took the cream from my hands and formed a decent amount of flower on one. "Say aaaa" I raised my eyebrows but opened my mouth and he scooped up a nice piece and put it in my mouth.

"What have I done to deserve you?" I asked chewing and Victor shrugged his shoulders, scooped up the piece without cream and ate it. "Where do I start?" he asked jokingly and handed me a second piece. "Will you ever let me do something on my own?" i smiled and he licked the fork. "I let you spend twenty minutes in the bathroom alone and even though I know you're uncomfortable in your own skin right now, I let you go down the stairs alone" he shrugged and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't tell me you were awake the whole time" I sighed and reached for my piece, but he just pulled the plate further away, stuck a new piece, scooped up as much of the pudding as he could and, putting his hand underneath, handed it to me. "Elena, do you have any idea how tiny you are compared to me?" he asked and I slid my gaze down his bare chest, smacking in bliss. "You can say that I have some idea" Victor smiled and leaned towards me, I decided that he wanted to kiss me and I brought my lips, but instead of a kiss, he licked my chin. "There was some pudding" his eyes lit up and I blushed profusely.

"There's no way you're going to get out of my arms and not feel you Elena, the only reason I'm letting you stand in the middle of the bedroom for so long before you come out is because I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable again with your period sickness . Although I don't see why you're so embarrassed" he sighed and I felt guilty at the disappointment in his eyes. "I'm still trying to get used to it,Victor" he put down the fork, opened my knees slightly and settled between them. "I know, my love, I don't blame you, but I wish you could freely tell me that your period came instead of me tracking the dates and secretly filling the fridge with whatever you might want. So much easier it will be" my gaze automatically jumped to the fridge and then to the two pieces of cake.

"So you...why are you doing it? I can wait a few hours for some sugar, Victor" waves of love washed over me as I watched him shake his head with a smile. "It's my duty when my wife craves something to provide it my love. I just want you to trust me and our relationship enough to tell me instead of waiting when you don't have to" I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulled him and stuck my lips to his.

"You know you're amazing, don't you?" Victor pulled back slightly and gave me a dark look. "Men aren't amazing,my love" I raised my eyebrows and he made an expression that was as sweet as it was comical. "We're brave, strong, big, tall, dark, sexy, masculine, but not amazing" he finished instructively and I giggled. "And you which of all are you?" he smirked, wrapped his arms behind me and pulled me to him. "For you, my love, all this" his arrogant expression is worthy of poetic description and I burst out laughing, shaking in his arms.

"I'm glad you find it amusing,my love" his face sank and I cupped his cheeks trying to catch the depth of his gaze. "It's funny,Victor" he rolled his eyes and his nostrils flared. "But it's also scary" as if Victorhad an invisible button that turned on some kind of alarm every time he decided I wasn't well or sad. "You should never be afraid of me, Elena" his fingers squeezed my sides, pulled me to the edge and Victor laid his head on my chest.

"In the beginning I was, Victor" I dug my fingers into his raven locks and literally heard him purr as I began to brush his hair. "I was scared of what kind of life awaits me with a man like you, how I will wake up and wonder, the next time I say goodbye to you, will it not be the last?" his head snapped up, but before he could cut me off, I pecked his lips. "After all the stupid things my father has done, that he continues to do, the attacks in the press and the way you always support me, I'm not afraid anymore" I smiled slightly and rested my forehead against his.

"And what do you think now?" his eyes seemed to sink into mine, I shuddered at the way his hands moved over me, possessive and sure, but also gentle and sensual, as if he were touching a treasure. "Now I think I have the strength to face the future, I believe that whatever awaits us, together we can overcome it, I believe that your past, that your work, will never come between us, because we are both ready to fighting" for a moment I couldn't read his expression, but when his lips quivered and broke into a smile, I knew by the pounding of my pulse that I would stand by my every word, whatever happens in the future.

"Come" I blinked questioningly. Victor pulled me up and took me in his arms. "Where are we going?" I peeked behind him, looking pitifully at the leftover cake on the counter. "I want to show you something" my gaze went back to Victor. As if I was watching the determination of a warrior marching towards the battlefield, I thought he was leading me to the bedroom, but instead, Victor rounded the stairs and continued to the back of the house. After all this time here, I still hadn't explored everything, the house was big, like one of those mansions that you are afraid to fully explore, because you don't know what secrets they hide.

"When you found out who I was, what I was like, that was the first time I felt real fear" Victor walked all the way to the back door, carrying me like I weighed no more than a cup of coffee, he opened the door with his elbow and as we stepped out into the backyard, a red slid across my face, realizing that even with a nightgown, I was too scantily clad. Victor, however, didn't seem to care that we could be seen, and the guards we passed wisely looked away or turned their backs.

"As I sat on that beach waiting for your decision, all I could think about is that no matter what you decide, I will accept your answer, even if I have to give up on you and our marriage" he continued and I could feel the pain of his memories just from the tightening of his jaw. "But when you came to me, when my name came out in your voice, it was as if all my determination to give you back your freedom somehow evaporated, just disappeared" my eyes widened as he opened the door and ushered me into a low simple building. Some time ago I asked him what the buildings in the backyard are, which can be seen from the terrace at the back of the house, then Victor said he would show them to me when he knew I was ready.

"Victor, it's..." he slowly put me down. Just from the look of the building, I could assume that it is not exactly intended for family events, but I did not expect such a thing. From the outside, it didn't show just how vast it was inside. To our left was a shooting range closed behind high glass, I could see at the far end by the wall, targets hung on thick ropes, I could see the partitions that were supposed to separate the shooters from each other, giving them enough personal space and security that a stray bullet wouldn't hit somewhere in countries.

Across from us was a fully equipped gym. There is one in the house too, but much smaller and meant more for light daily training, this one was huge and several men were training, naked to the waist. To the right, behind another glass, was something I could only identify as boxing hall, there was a small ring, a little to the sides of it, a cage, the floor of which was covered with sports mattresses. "Get dressed!" Victor's voice boomed, making me jump in startle and turn around, clinging to him.

"I'm sorry my love" he wrapped his arms around me. "I didn't want to startle you, but I can't let you walk around naked men if it's not me" I shook my head taking a breath to calm my heart and patted his chest. "Come on, what I want you to see is over there" he pulled me towards the shooting range, his arms still around me. Victor opened the door and held it for me, nudging me inside with his hand on my back. "In the office" from the outside I had not noticed the small room that looked like an entrance guard's booth.

"You might not like this" he began, ushering me into the cabin and closing the door behind us. Victor walked behind a small desk, too small for his body size, but somehow, he fit into the small space and crouched down, doing something in the back. "But it's for your protection and while I'm sure you'll never need to use it, I want you to have it and know how to use it" he stood up pulling out a wooden oblong box and I uncertainly stepped closer near the desk.

He opened the box and turned it towards me. "That's...no, Victor, I'm not touching that thing!" I stepped back in horror, pressing my hands to my stomach, staring huge eyes at the small silver pistol lying in the case. "This is a Ruger SR22PB, 22 caliber. It's light and has ten bullets in the magazine" he continued, as if I hadn't just told him that I didn't want to touch it. "Victor, I said I don't want it" he ignored me again, took the gun, which in his huge palm looked even smaller. "I'll teach you how to use it, Elena" he finally looked up and I shook my head.

"No, Victor!" I retreated a little further towards the door. "I accept who you are, your way of life, but don't expect me to carry a weapon, I refuse!" I turned and grabbed the lock, opening the door. "Elena" the door slammed back and I stared at Victor's hand. "I know you don't want to, my love" he pressed into my back, I felt his other hand with the gun slide down my stomach, I felt the cold metal through the thin nightgown and my insides turned.

"I wouldn't ask this of you if I didn't have to, Elena" his breath ruffled the hair on my neck and I shuddered, closed my eyes and leaned against him. "But imagine, Elena" his lips crept between the strands and scalded my neck. "Imagine you're alone, you've been attacked, your guards tried to protect you, but they're dead, and you..." his hand on my stomach trembled and I felt him grip the gun handle tighter. "Imagine you're pregnant or our child is with you and your only chance to save him is the one you don't want, the one you despise so much?" I opened my eyes wide and took a deep breath, Victor knows that if it's just me, I won't agree, but if, even now hypothetically, something like this happens?

"I have enemies, Elena, strong and dangerous. If something like this happens..." his voice trailed off into a dull growl. "I won't take it, Elena. I know there was something I could have done to give you even a little more protection, but I didn't because I bowed to your wishes....Please, Elena, don't do it to me" he pressed me harder, I could feel the beating of his heart in my back, the tingling in my limbs, while the gun seemed to make a hole in the nightgown on my stomach. "I can't lose you,Elena. Anything but this" I exhaled and spun around in his arms.

Victor was looking down at me with those eyes that made me both tingle and burn more alive than ever. "Please,my love" the movement of the gun against my back awakened my insides again. I understand him. How many times have I thought the same thing? What if Victor wasn't so physically strong? What if his father hadn't trained him since he was young? What if something happens and I can't protect myself and our children, and Victor is too far away to get there in time?

"Promise me you'll make sure the shooting range will be the only place I use it!" I grunted softly and his eyes flashed. "I promise, Elena, God, I promise!" he grabbed me, pressed his lips to mine and spun me around. I laughed, but inside I was dying of fear. Sooner or later, it would get here. It's not like I didn't know it, but that doesn't make things easier, nor the thought any lighter. "I love you, Victor" I whispered against his lips and his response took my breath away, taking a few steps until I was leaning against the door.

Victor

My gaze jumped from the blinking light of the silencer and I fixed the door. "God, how long have we not met here?" Dominic rubbed his neck as he walked past Simon. Through the open door I saw the back of Marcus, who waited for Simon and closed the door behind him, remaining on post. "Not enough" I replied coldly and sighed, leaning back.

My office at Craven Groups was one of the few places I could hold meetings to discuss my 'business'. Although Simon wasn't an active part of my other life, he knew everything and often used his connections to get me information or cover up my side activities. For this very reason, my office was equipped against all kinds of bugs and surveillance devices.

"Is it ready?" Simon sat across from me and handed me the folders he was carrying. "Are you sure about this?" I raised an eyebrow at Dominic, who was sitting leaning on his knees. "Why do you think I would hesitate?" I asked nonchalantly and arranged the folders in front of me, reaching for a pen. "What do you think? Apart from the fact that this is how you turn the woman you love into the first target for anyone who is determined to take your place, you are left with nothing" his gaze held mine. Dominic may have been a clown, but if the need arose, he could be a serious bastard who would defy death itself.

"I agree with Dominic, Victor. Does Elena know about this at all?" Simon put his hand on the folder in the middle and I raised an eyebrow. "I get that you're in love with her, but to give her everything?" I sighed and tilted my head, looking between the two of them. "I'm not just in love, Simon. It's much more" and I felt myself thinking about Elena, my face turning into a smile, which no matter what I want, I can't suppress. "You love her, we get it. But a female boss? It's like tying a bleeding steak to a chicken's ass and dropping it in the middle of a pack of starving hyenas. Elena isn't trained, mentally equipped to handle that kind of responsibility" Dominic continued firmly and I nodded.

"That's exactly why we're the only ones who know about this sitting in this room. Elena is the woman of my life, she'll be the mother of my children. It may not seem like it, but she's stronger than you think" I patted Simon's hand and saw the reluctance with which he pushed it away. "Think carefully, Victor. Many women have married millionaires, mobsters no less, but no one has ever heard of such a woman becoming a shadow boss" Dominic stood up and I watched as he walked to the window, standing with his back to us.

"That's what I have you for, Dom. If anything happens to me..." Dominic turned sharply and I fell silent. I can see his anger, I know that although he is worried, what made him angry is me talking about my own death. "You're my friend, Vic, more than that, you're my brother. I wouldn't just, I'll do anything you want me to, I'll protect Elena and your children to the death, for God's sake, if you have daughters, I'll wear a pink tutu and I'll have tea with dolls if I have to, but I don't accept your resignation to death!" he growled and I smiled.

"Our feelings are mutual, Dom, you'll be a great uncle and godfather when Elena gives birth" I looked at Simon. "You too" I returned my gaze to the sullen Dominic, who rolled his eyes. "I'm sure that apart from mine, with our children, one day you'll also become a wonderful father, as long as you stay with a woman long enough to at least remember her name" Dominic arched an eyebrow and turned his back on us again, but he couldn't masked how his lips curled slightly into a sneer.

"But I'm a realist, Dom. Don't tell me you haven't thought about it too? Our lives are dangerous, outside of money and women, we have to be honest with ourselves" I reminded him and looked at Simon, whose face expressed sorrow, as deep as Gibraltar. "That doesn't mean you have to have a will ready, Vic" Simon pointed out quietly and I nodded. "I know, but with everything going on right now, Elena's father, his relationship with Bennet, I have to be prepared" Dominich kicked the window frame and the tall glass rattled. "This is no preparation Vic, you are literally orchestrating your own death!" he growled and I dropped my head and closed my eyes.

"With or without a will, as your wife, Elena will get everything anyway. Why do you have to prepare a will and all the fucking paperwork?" Dominic continued and I heard him approaching, so I raised my head. "When you made this decision, did you think about us? Did you think about how Elena would feel when she found out?" he leaned against my desk and leaned over me like a edifying parent scolding his child for a mistake. "Why do you think I do that? Why do you think I'm keeping it a secret from Elena?" I raised my voice and Dominic narrowed his eyes.

"Elena is not interested in my money, she is not interested in my company or my boss's position! All my wife wants is for us to have our little family and for me to be by her side, Dom" I clenched my teeth, angry sweat broke out on my palms and I put the pen down on the desk, covering it with my palm. "Elena doesn't talk about it, but I know she doesn't stop thinking about what's next and it kills me, it tears me up and I want to scream that everything will be alright" I jumped to my feet and went to the small bar in front of the window, poured myself a whiskey and drank it in one gulp.

"That's all I want with her. Elena isn't pregnant yet" I poured more whiskey and turned to the side looking at my two closest friends. I know that it doesn't matter how mad they are at me, how disappointed or hurt they are, no matter what happens to me, they will take care of my family. "I'm not giving up" I sighed and sipped the whiskey. "Don't take it like I've given up on life" I took the bottle, collected two more glasses and went back to the desk, standing between Dominic and Simon, I put a glass in front of both of them and poured them a little.

"I just got married" I moved my glass forward and smiled. "I'm madly in love with my wife, I just found out that Elena loves me too" they both stared at me in shock and I shook my head, grinning idiotically. "Yeah, my wife loves me" I laughed and took a deep breath. "I'm trying not to let Elena notice, but I'm busting my balls to make her a baby, I can only hope she didn't notice how disappointed I was when I found out I didn't make it, but I'll get over it" yes, I have time. Elena will bear me at least two, three or more children before I am ready to truly say goodbye to this world.

But before that happens, I want to make sure that when the time comes, there will be no doubt about who will succeed me. After everything I learned from my father, and because I love Elena, I know that I will not have the strength to do to our children what my father did to me. Yes, I will train them, but I will not pressure them, and the child who shows qualities for this will take over. I would never forcefully break the will of any of our children as was done to me, and if none of my heirs show such qualities, then our bloodline as a head family will die with Elena when her time comes.

"You know" I looked at Dominic. "You told me yourself, Dom, there's never been a female boss. If anything happens to me, the others will tear Elena apart to take my place. I can't let that happen if I don't have one of the kids at the time ready to take over the business. Nor can I leave Elena with no choice. However, if I name her as a successor, even if she doesn't know it, and I die, Elena will be able to decide whether to continue as boss or choose someone else who to take my place" Dominic pursed his lips, took the whiskey and raised the glass.

"I don't like it though" he snorted and we both looked at Simon who also stood up and took his cup. "Once you've thought it over and made up your mind, there's nothing left for us but to support you" he put a hand on my shoulder and his gaze drifted away for a moment. I know he's thinking about Christina. He and Elena's girlfriend have been seeing each other a lot lately and I know that Simon is in love with the little freak who brought colors to his boring everyday life, making him live outside the office. "I understand how you feel Vic, I know why you're doing it, just promise me you won't provoke fate unnecessarily?" I nodded in silent promise and the three of us clinked our glasses together.

"Hey" I leaned down and kissed Elena on the head, looking at the stacks of envelopes in front of her. "You smell like alcohol" she raised her head and looked at me questioningly. "And you smell nice" I pecked her lips and bent down, wrapping my arm around her shoulders, took one of her envelopes and turned it over, looking at it from both sides. "What are you doing?" I asked distractedly and returned the envelope to its place before walking around the sofa and sitting next to Elena, interrupting her work as I crumpled her into my lap.

"I haven't sent thank you letters for our wedding gifts yet. And this" she pointed to the much taller second stack of letters. "They were sent to me by Craven Groups a few hours ago, invitations to charity events to choose from" her face was a palette of desperate confusion and I laughed, adjusting her so that she stepped onto the couch and leaned lightly on one of my arms. "Don't pick too many of them, I don't intend to spend every night for the next month out instead of in bed with my wife" making you a baby, but that was just my thought.

"Easy for you to say" Elena sighed and kicked off her heels, rubbing her feet against each other. "Let's do it this way, choose the ones that are for children and the most famous ones, we will visit them. To the others, that we write and send fat checks?" her eyes darted to me and her face lit up. "Thank you" her arms wrapped around my neck and she brought her lips to mine, an invitation I was unable to refuse.

"I love you" I murmured after our breathless kissing session. To see Elena like this, barely breathing, red, with lips swollen from my kisses, eyes sparkling with excitement and a body that melts from my lightest touch. There is nothing I have done to get here that I regret. "I love you too" her shy voice can drive me crazy. I stood up with her in my arms and she squeezed my neck tighter. "Where are we going?" Elena asked, there was no doubt or question in her words. She just left herself in my hands and was ready to accept everything I prepared for her. "I want to cuddle with my wife, feeling her body against mine, and the best place for that is our bed" I smiled into her hair, walking towards our bedroom.

Once away from anyone curious enough to even think to look at us, I laid Elena down on the bed and stretched out next to her, pulling her onto my chest. "A hard day?" she asked resting her chin on her hands and I sighed. "I don't have to have a bad day to want to cuddle with my wife, my love, can't I just miss you?" slowly, i began to separate her hair into strands, passing the red silk between my fingers. "You've been gone less than six hours, Victor, have you missed me that much?" she smiled playfully and I smirked, narrowing my eyes.

"Is it that bad?" I raised an eyebrow and her smile became wider, and the shy blush on her cheeks seemed to shout to me that Elena may not want to, but my words give her pleasure. "Someone can tell you're a man under a slipper" her delicate shoulders barely lifted and I snorted. "And? I don't see anything wrong with being. I've never cared what people say about me" I gathered her hair, twisted it and turned her over, laying my head on her stomach. Elena immediately buried her fingers in my hair. There was something about the movement of her fingers, the way she played with my hair, that made me relax even when I was so tense, something so soothing.

"Aren't you afraid that your people might think you're weak?" Elena asked softly and I shook my head, clasping my fingers on her stomach under my head and closing my eyes, enjoying her touch. "No, they can try, but they won't live to find out where it will take them" her stomach shook with laughter and my head shook a little. "Is it strange that your words don't scare me anymore?" she mumbled after a while and I turned to look at her. "I'm your husband Elena, it would be weird if anything I say scares you" I reminded her, hoping that her question meant that she not only accepted who I was and what I did, but that she might get used to it. 

"I guess" she sighed and closed her eyes. I hope, at least I can do that, right? Elena has never been a part of my world, she doesn't know its rules like I do and I don't want her to, becoming one of the other bosses' wives who fear their own husbands, shuddering at the mere mention of their names, or in their presence. I don't want my marriage to turn into a bloody nightmare. I want Elena to feel safe with me, protected and happy. I want to feel her love like now, to bathe in her forgiveness, no matter what I have done. I don't want her to feel even the slightest doubt about me, which would darken our happiness.