TW: Trigger Warning

"K-Kevin is d-dead..."

Sandra dropped her glass, which shattered on the floor.

She couldn't believe what she had just heard over the phone. The device almost slipped from her hand as well.

She was shocked.

"M-Mary, please tell me you're lying. There's no way K-Kevin..." Her lips were trembling, and her face had lost all color.

But Mary screamed on the other end instead.

"Kevin is dead, sis! Dead! Kevin! Oh no, our Kevin!" she bawled, crying uncontrollably.

Sandra closed her eyes as tears began to flow. She barely noticed the worried looks from people in the café.

She couldn't bear to hear the news but had to hold herself together. She sniffed her cries and sat back down.

"What happened?" she asked her sister, her voice full of sorrow.

"Kevin j-jumped off the building," Mary cried again.

The news was too much for Sandra. Her hands were shaking, and she felt she might pass out any moment.

Her brother died of suicide? Countless thoughts ran through her mind. She couldn't comprehend it. Kevin wouldn't do that, would he? But why?

She was in utter disbelief. Her brother, who was full of dreams and life, who promised her he would become a doctor someday, wouldn't just do this.

"He also left a s-suicide note."

Sandra bit her lip. She needed to gather her strength and leave the café to go back to her studio apartment, where she could deal with her grief privately.

"I have to go home. I'll call you when I get there," she said weakly. "How about mom?"

Mary sniffled. "She fainted when we heard the news. We're in the ER right now."

Sandra felt immediate sorrow for her sister. "I'm so sorry I'm not there, Mary dear. You've always been strong." She held the phone tightly against her ear. "Just hold on a bit longer. I'll be home as soon as I can. I'll be there for the f-funeral service." She ended the call.

Tears still flowed as she hurriedly left the café.

Ding

Sandra heard the notification on her phone but ignored it for now. It must be Mary texting further details about their b-brother's death.

She still couldn't believe it, couldn't process the news as she arrived at her apartment.

Once inside, in the absence of anyone, she broke down.

"Kevin!"

Sandra repeatedly cried her brother's name over and over again.

---

I am so sorry to all I left behind.
Especially to you mom, my dear sisters, Sandra and Mary...
I couldn't handle it anymore...
I am so sorry I am so weak.
I am sorry. You don't have to worry about me anymore.
You are now free.
They made me do this. I couldn't bear it anymore.
Bye...I'm sorry...

Sandra couldn't finish the note her brother left behind. She had run out of tears. She had been crying since she heard the news. Then Mary sent these details over the phone, and it was too much for her to read.

"I need to go home," Sandra told herself, trying to compose herself.

If only she had someone to lean on right now to guide her on what to do next. Her mind was in chaos, processing her brother's death.

It was different from when their father died many years ago. The pain and sorrow she felt about her brother's death were almost incomparable. The pain was more. Maybe because she had more memories with Kevin than with her father. A piece of her felt like it was ripped apart. The pain and grief were too much.

She felt guilty for not being with Kevin during his last moments. Maybe she could have helped him with his problems.

Sandra closed her eyes as tears fell again. She thought she had no more tears left to cry.

Mary also revealed that one of Kevin's classmates told her Kevin was heavily bullied at school. Her family was shocked. They had no idea.

Learning this added to Sandra's pain. It was too much. She had no idea. She had no idea her brother was experiencing this to the point it drove him to kill himself. If only she had been there for him. If only.

Ring

Her phone rang, and she picked it up. It was Bommie. Sandra had texted her earlier.

"Sandy, Oh God, Sandy." Bommie was crying too.

Sandra burst into tears again. "Bommie, oh my God, Bommie. My brother..."

"I'm so sorry, Sandy. I'm so sorry," Bommie consoled, trying to comfort her friend over the phone. If only she could be there for her friend. The news was devastating enough. And worse, Sandra was alone to deal with this devastating news.

Both women were crying. Bommie understood that Sandra needed someone right now. They wept together over the phone.

---

"I'm going to buy your ticket home whenever you're ready. Just tell me the dates. Then I'll handle your apartment rent in Tokyo. I can pay it while you're gone. You can stay with your family as long as you want," Bommie said over the phone.

Sandra closed her eyes. Oh yeah.

Bommie sighed. "I know you aren't thinking straight right now, Sandy. But you have matters to deal with before you go home."

Rent. Contracts. Those were a few of the matters she had to deal with now. Bommie was right. She had to handle this first, especially...

"I'm going to break the lease here, Bommie. I'm planning to stay in the U.S. longer this time."

Bommie was silent for a while. "What do you mean?"

Sandra held back her tears. "Kevin was bullied, Bommie. And it drove him to k-kill himself."

"Oh, God, no." Bommie was shocked. No one expected this.

"I want to know more about the details. That's why I'm staying there longer this time." Sandra gripped the phone tightly. "They killed my brother, Bommie. They have to pay."

Bommie was even more worried hearing this. "Just be careful, ok? You don't know these people. But I'm here if you need anything. I know lawyers who can represent your family if you pursue this and file a case."

Sandra smiled for the first time since the sad news, touched by her friend's concern and thoughtfulness.

"Thank you," Sandra said, heartfelt.

"Don't mention it. Just don't forget to eat and take care of yourself," Bommie's voice said softly. "I'll deal with everything else." She added. "If you're ready, can you also share more details about Kevin? In case... I can help you more,"

Sandra sighed. She couldn't share some important details over the phone as she couldn't bring herself to finish Kevin's suicide note.

"I'll send it by email," she told her weakly.

"I'm sorry, Sandy," Bommie felt even more sorry for her. "You can rest now. I'll contact you soon. I'll book your flight too. Don't worry anymore."

They ended the call. She was left with the deafening silence of her apartment.

Sandra cried again.

---

"Sandra-chan!" Pyo-chan called, raising his hand over the table in a coffee shop.

Sandra tried to smile as she approached him. They had planned this contract signing meeting before Sandra learned about the tragic news. She had tried to decline signing the contract by phone, but Pyo-chan insisted they meet first, probably trying to persuade her more to join his agency.

Sandra decided to tell Pyo-chan the reason in person instead.

"Omatase shimashita." (Sorry to keep you waiting.)

"Iie. Tsuita bakari desu yo." (It's fine. I just arrived too.) Pyo-chan then laid down the papers in front of her, detailing her contract with his company.

Sandra felt a bit guilty.

"Gomenasai." (I am sorry.)

Pyo-chan looked at her and finally noticed her state and the dried tears. "Doushita no? Daijoubu desu ka?" (What's wrong? Are you ok?)

"Gomenasai, Pyo-chan. Sign shimasen ga." (I am sorry, Pyo-chan, but I can't sign this.)

"Eeh? Doushite? Kono keiyaku no naiyou ni, Sandra-chan sign shitara, Nihon de yumei ni naru yo." (Huh? Why? This contract promises that you'd be famous in Japan.)

Sandra smiled as she bowed in apology. "Isogu kikoku shitain desu kara. Riyuu wa kazoku desu." (I have to get home. It's about my family.)

Pyo-chan studied her look and seemed to understand. He smiled sympathetically. "Naruhodo ne. Kazoku wa Sandra-chan no yume ni yori taisetsu da. Sandra-chan wa yasashii ne." (I see. Your family is more important than your dreams. You are kind.)

Sandra just bowed in apology. "Gomenasai." (I'm sorry.)

Pyo-chan laughed it off. "Zannen desu kedo. Sandra-chan no kimochi boku wa wakaru yo." (It's a waste, but I understand your feelings.)

Sandra smiled a bit. "Arigatou gozaimasu." (Thank you.)

Pyo-chan put the papers back in the folder and handed it to her. Sandra was confused.

"Shouganai ne. Keiyaku wo yukkuri yonde, itsuka Nihon wo mudottara, renraku shinasai? Boku no meishi daiji ni shite ne." (It can't be helped. Read the contract, and if you want to return to Japan, contact me. Keep my business card.) Pyo-chan winked at her.

Sandra smiled, grateful for his kindness. She stood up to leave and bowed again. "Arigatou gozaimashita!" (Thank you so much!)

She might return to Japan someday, but for now, it was time to catch her flight home.

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a/n: THANKS FOR READING. Please don't forget to vote and comment. I'm sorry about the sensitive topic. If you or someone you know are feeling down and feeling depressed please reach out to someone for help. I wish you the best of luck and love from here to there.