A GOLDEN LEAF FELL OUTSIDE THE CAFE WINDOW. My hands were cool as they surrounded my water—the sun was ruthless today. Calum and I were strolling around the city, trying to find a job for me. I sighed, twirling my straw around as he crossed this cafe off the list.

          "I don't understand why you don't want to work here," he said, looking around. "It's decent and seems like your type of place."

          "Any place away from home is my type of place," I muttered to myself. Then, to Calum, "I just don't like the uniforms. Look at them. They're sleeveless."

          "I mean, why would you need them in the first place?" he asked, looking down, and I knew where he was going with this. "It's not like you're doing something with your arm that you shouldn't be doing, right?"

          I subconsciously rubbed my arms through my jacket, feeling the pain of my troubles. "No," was all I could get out because I hated how much my voice was shaking. It wasn't like I wanted to be a liar, but I knew the truth hurt. I never liked hurting Calum because I knew he didn't deserve to be. It was a mystery to me why he stuck around for so long after all the crap I put him through.

          He started to fiddle with his empty cup of coffee. "So, you wouldn't hesitate to give me your arm if I ask you to?" When I didn't answer, he looked up. "That's what I thought."

          I didn't want to talk about this. "What's the next place on the list?" I asked, changing the subject. I knew he wasn't going to let this conversation go, but a cafe was not the place to talk about my issues.

          He stared at me for a few more moments before glancing down at the paper. "KFC."

          "Is that the last place?" I asked, and he nodded. "Alright then, let's move out."

          Calum insisted that we should've driven instead of walking, but it was a beautiful day today. When I had good days, like these, I enjoyed the fresh air. It wasn't as suffocating.

          As we walked, there was a little tension in the air, but Calum broke it. "Do you ever think about dating someone again?"

          The question threw me off, so I looked up at him, and he glanced off to this side. "Um, not really. I think it would be too soon since...you know?" I said, focusing my eyes on my shoes. "Why?"

          Did he?

          "Curiosity," he replied, a few moments later.

          Calum was a logical person. If there were a problem, he would find a way to solve it, no matter what it took. It pissed me off sometimes because he always had an answer for everything, but without it, who knew where I'd be. So, I knew that his curiousness was for a reason.

          "After you," he said, holding the door open.

          Walking in, I scanned the place. Not that many people were here, only a family of four and a couple of lone stragglers. I came here before to fill out paperwork since Mom decided to seclude herself in her room after Dad passed. I filled them out to the best of my ability, all with the help of Google and legal documents stored in a hidden filing cabinet in my attic.

          Calum took a seat while I proceeded to the register and waited for someone to come out. Looking at the kitchen, I noticed that it was clean and orderly—something that I needed in my life.

          Swift footsteps came from around the corner, and then someone appeared in front of me. I slowly blinked twice, recognizing him. I thought the universe was supposed to be on my side, so why was Ashton standing in front of me?

          "What can I get—" He made eye contact with me, and then blinked. Glad to know we had the same reaction. He then cleared his throat. "Um, sorry, what can I get you today?"

          Instead of asking about the manager, I said, "I didn't know you worked here."

          He rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, we kind of, actually never, interact, so..." he stumbled, awkwardly looking down at the register. Was I making him nervous or something?

          "Hey, Ash," said Calum, coming into the scene.

          Ashton lifted his head at his friend's voice. "Oh, Calum, you're here too?"

          "Yeah, I'm helping out Val 'cause she's trying to get a job," he told Ashton. "Did she mention that yet?"

          I let out a short, but abrupt, laugh. "Actually, Calum, I decided to change my mind about the whole job thing. I don't think I could handle it right now."

          Calum grabbed my hand and looked at me, letting out a fake laugh. "Ashton, give us a moment," he said and dragged me outside.

          "What are you doing?" I said, out of earshot.

          "What are you doing?" Calum shot back. "You seriously changed your mind about working here because of Ashton. Val, come on. That's ridiculous."

          I rolled my eyes. "I just don't like what he's about," I said.

          "You don't even know what he's about!" he exclaimed. "Val, just give it a shot. Besides, you'll probably be too wrapped up in work to even hold a conversation with him. And even if that isn't true, it could help you work on the slight rudeness you have towards people."

          I raised my eyebrows. "I'm not rude."

          "First impressions are lasting, Val, and you can sometimes be coarse," he said. I opened my mouth to respond, but he cut me off. "I'm just saying that maybe if you just get to know a person, you might have a change of heart. Plus, kindness can move mountains."

          There was his logic pissing me off again. Calum ushered to the door, and I sighed heavily. The cold air hit me in the face opening it like I was awaiting my doom. I looked back at Calum, and he shooed me away.

          "Ashton? You there?" I called out. This place was seriously low on staff. Only one person was working the drive-thru.

          Ashton came back out. "Sorry, I was restocking."

          "Serio—" I paused. Don't be rude. Don't be rude. I breathed and then put on a smile and stuck to my first question. "Is your hiring manager here?"

          He nodded. "Would you like for me to get her?"

          "Please, and thank you," I said. He went around back, and I went to take a seat with Calum.

          "Now, was that so hard?" he said, and I flipped him the bird. "The amount of hate in your heart is astonishing. There's no balance."

          You were my balance, I wanted to say, but I kept my mouth shut. We've already been down that road, and it came to a dead end.

          A dark-skinned lady appeared a few seconds later. "Hi, how may I help you?"

          I stood. "Hi, I'm Valentine Nauru. We spoke over the phone a few days prior."

          "Yes, I remember," she said and smiled. "Head through those doors, and I'll be there in a second."

          "Alright, thank you." Calum sent me a thumbs up, and I smiled. I went through the doors, and it had a glass opening. Calum and Ashton were chatting, and Calum said something that made Ashton laugh. Looking at him laugh made me think that, maybe, I was a little rude. I could admit that I was sort of a bitter person, but with my life, it was justified.

          I sank back in the chair and sighed, thinking about what Calum said earlier. There was a period where I wouldn't have hesitated to give him my arm. My mind hadn't been right since I was a kid, but it never led to the point of me wanting to inflict pain on myself. Ever since that one day happened, nothing was the same. My mind became darker, and my outbreaks were more destructive.

          But it's all on me. Everything was, and for that, I accepted the dark fate I caused myself.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

          I threw my remote controller on the ground and groaned, falling against the couch. "How do you keep winning?" I fussed, looking at Calum, who was laughing. "You're cheating, aren't you?"

          "You can't cheat in MarioKart," he said. "Face it: you suck."

          "Whatever, I'm done playing," I pouted, making my way over to the TV to unplug it. I slumped back into the couch.

          "Aw, come on. Don't be like that," he said, making his way closer to me. "It's not your fault you suck. Blame it on that ugly car you chose."

          I scoffed and turned away from him. "Oh, whatever."

          He let out a laugh. "Vaaaaaal. Vaaaaaaaaaal, I know you want to laugh." I held my breath so I wouldn't  laugh and covered my ears. He started to shake me, causing me to lose grips over my ears. I rolled back over, grabbed his arm, and twisted it. "Ow, ow, ow."

          I smiled cheeky. "Are you done?"

          "Ow, yes!" he seethed, and I released his arm. "Goodness gracious, woman."

          I just smiled and squished his cheeks. "Love you, bestie."

          "Yeah, you better love me," he scoffed playfully, still rubbing his arm.

          "Aw, Calum's hurt," I said in a baby voice. He just looked at me with a straight face, and I couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, sorry, I'll be quiet." I laid my head down, pretending to zip my lips closed and held eye contact. I still couldn't help the small smile stuck on my face.

          He rested his hand on his cheek. "You mean everything to me. You know that?"

          My smile faltered a little as his voice turned serious. "I—"

          He shook his head. "I need to get this off my chest because I feel like things will change really soon," he said with a sigh. "I know that we had something—you felt it. I felt it, and I still feel it. But you deserve the world, Val; I want you to have the world, but I need you to know that there's more than just me."

          "But what if all I want is you?" I finally spoke.

          "That's because all you know is me," he said.

          "Good. That means I got lucky on the first try," I told him. "Calum, we agreed that until I got better, we would remain friends. Do you not want me anymore?"

          "I never said that."

          I sat up. "Then, what are you saying?"

          "I'm saying that our fate as best friends is more promising than a romantic relationship," he responded confidently. "Plus, something just came up, and I think it'll let you learn to love. You need balance with the amount of hate in your heart, and I'm not the one who can give it to you."

          I raised my eyebrow. "And you're saying you know someone who can? Calum, why can't you ever be happy for yourself? For the things you have? Why do you always put other people's happiness before your own?"

          "Because I need to learn how to be happy after sadness. If I'm happy for myself all the time, I wouldn't be able to handle the sadness, or know how to be happy afterward," he explained. "We had our chance, and we kind of messed things up, but I think that's how our life plays out. We were meant to fall apart as lovers but remain as best friends. And, for that, I'm thankful because you're still by my side."

          I didn't know that I was crying until a tear fell down my face. "You're the best person anyone could ever ask for. You know that, right?"

          He just smiled and wiped away my tears. "Says you." He held out his pinky. "Promise me that if you find someone else who makes you happy as the sun, you won't say no because of me."

          "Calum—"

          "Promise me," he urged.

          I held out my pinky and latched onto his. "I promise."

: : : : : : : : : :

Damn, I revised the chapter and I still hate it. Honestly, I don't think it'll ever get better. Anyways, wass good, my dudes? This chapter exposeeeeeddd Calum and Val a little about their past relationship. Oooooo. 

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I wouldn't even be sad if you hated it lol.  Stay safe and wash your haaands.

<3