I WAS BACK IN SCHOOL BY MONDAY. Three weeks passed since I walked through the double doors, and it made me remember how much I hated it here. The schoolgirls giggling in cliques, the jocks yelling in the morning, sophomores' keychains jingling through the halls, and the lovely post-it notes Mandy left on my locker. I just loved Wayfield so much.

          In all my years of being here, I kept my disorder well hidden. There were times when I had to rush out of class and into the bathroom stall, so no one saw my episodes. It was tough, and since simple things could push me over the edge, I had to distance myself from many people. When you stayed in the background, no one had reason to do anything to you. But Mandy regularly tested my patience, though, and weirdly, she helped me learn how to conceal it better.

          After ripping all the sticky notes off, I checked myself in the mirror and tried to smile, but I ended up looking like Mona Lisa. Sighing, I started to collect my books for the day. Sometimes, I wished I didn't care about my class rank so that I knew what it felt like to slack off. Valedictorian was a goal I've had since middle school because I wanted to see that I could have goals and reach them without anything holding me back. I needed to prove myself worthy for me.

          I recognized footsteps coming from behind me and knew it was Calum. He tried to be stealthy, but my ears were too good at its job. "Boo!" I said, spinning around quickly. He jumped back, and I laughed. "Gotcha."

          "That was supposed to be my line," he said, kicking invisible dirt off the ground.

          "You're never going to be able to scare me," I told him, shrugging my shoulders.

          He pointed a finger at me. "I'll get you one day." He leaned against my locker and checked his watch. "Anyway, so what happened with Ashton Homecoming night? You guys were out there for quite some time."

          My hand froze on my locker as I searched for an answer. When I kissed Ashton, I wasn't thinking about anything else or what would happen after. It was a rash decision, and now that decision could ruin me. There was no way I could tell Calum, the guy I had previous relations with not even five months ago, that I kissed Ashton, his freaking best friend. What kind of friend, let alone person, would that make me?

          "We, uh, sorted out our differences," I decided with an awkward laugh. Then, I checked my invisible watch on my arm and slammed my locker shut. "Oh, wow, look at the time. Gotta blast!" I took off like a soccer mom who was late for her son's game. Turning the corner, I bumped into someone.

          "Slow your roll there, tiger," someone said. "No need to rush. School's not going anywhere anytime soon."

          I glanced up and saw Randy Williams. "Whoops, sorry 'bout that," I said, laughing like a psychopath and then rushing away again. He probably thought I was a crackhead now.

          I made it to homeroom, now breathing like a soccer mom, and took my seat. I brought out a book, pretending to be fully invested in it, so I seemed busy. People would think, "Oh, her? She's just studying real hard," not "Oh, her? She's a good-for-nothing two-timer looking at a book for some reason."

          There was a huge difference.

          The chair in front of me squeaked, and I knew that Brian had just arrived. I could care less about Brian, but I was just so damn awkward. Then, the chair next to me made a noise, and my toes curled. Ashton was an entirely different story for five reasons.

          One, I recently discovered my feelings for him.

          Two, he felt the same way.

          Three, he was Calum's best friend.

          Four, we kissed.

          Five, WE KISSED!

          I was sweating buckets, and I didn't think my toes could curl anymore than they were. As I peeked up from my textbook, I noticed the time. It had only been two freaking minutes. I closed my eyes, wanting to bang my head against this math textbook.

          I officially hated homeroom.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

          I was hiding in a dark red room full of hanging photos. Brian was coming this way, and I quickly slipped into this room for safety. I skillfully avoided everyone all day like I was a ninja. Surprisingly, I found about a lot of places I never knew about in all my years of attending this school. I found a room full of hallway fans and washing machines and dryers. This place was weird.

          As I ducked from the window when Brian walked by, someone cleared their throat, and I bumped my head against the wall, startled. My confidence fell right into the Marianas Trench.

          "Ow," I said, rubbing my head.

          "Valentine?"

          I popped one eye open and almost cursed. Ashton was standing next to a line of pictures with a small box in hand, looking at me with a small smile. He set the box in his hands on the table and walked over to me, crouching down to the floor, where I currently laid. He was too close, and I could feel my body warming.

          "It is so red in here, and I can still see that you're blushing," Ashton said with a laugh, and I groaned, slapping my hands over my face.

          "You. Suck," I said.

          "You're so easy to tease," he said, and I heard his back hit the wall next to me. "But why are you in here? You don't take photography."

          There was no escaping this now, so I sighed. "Well, if you haven't noticed, I've been avoiding certain people all day—you being one of them, but it seems like nothing ever goes my way. So, what about you? Why are you here?" He faced me, and my heart echoed in my chest.

          Stupid feelings.

          "I take photography, and I'm collecting my photos that have finally processed," he said coolly. Was I the only one who was nervous?

          "You like photography?"

          He nodded. "Wanna see some of the photos?" I nodded, and he helped me off the ground and led me to a table. He opened the small box from before. "These are some random stuff I captured when I was out and about. I got some really good shots in the wooded area. And I got some one's in the crowds on the street." He showed me them as he went down the list, and then I noticed someone amid the crowded streets.

          "Hey, that's me and my dad," I said, pointing us out in the photo. We were walking side by side, and he was ruffling my hair, grinning, while I stepped on his shoes. A moment I forgot about and was just so happened to be captured.

         "Jeez, is your entire family short?" Ashton said, and I flicked his arm.

         "For your information, my father was five-five," I told him.

          After a moment of silence, Ashton said, "If you want the picture, it's yours. Makes me seem less of a stalker since we really didn't know each other then." I laughed a little.

          I didn't know if Ashton knew about my father's death, but if he did, I appreciated him for not letting the mood sour. I picked up the photo and slid it in my back pocket. I then continued looking through Ashton's pictures, and our hands landed on the same one. I pulled back, feeling chills.

          "This is hard, Ashton," I blurted out as I ran my hand through my hair.

          He leaned against the counter. "In my defense, you're the one making it like that. I'm just going with the flow."

          I didn't want Ashton to feel like I was leading him because I did like him, but my two-timing days had to end as quickly as it started. Even though I promised Calum I wouldn't break off a relationship because of him, this was different. There was an unspoken code about dating best friends, and I had no intention of breaking them. I wanted to be with Ashton, but I just couldn't.

          Now, if only I could tell Ashton that.

          "What if we went on a date?" Ashton said. "Just one, and then we'll see how we go from there."

          My toes curled again. "A date?" I said, and he nodded.

          "We could start small and get to know one another," he said.

          I sighed. "Ashton, look, I want to get to know you too, but it's just..." I'm a psychopath and would probably ruin your life if you came close to me, and it would cause me to become even more fucked up because I made you leave.

          But I couldn't say all that.

          "I don't want to hurt you," I settled with.

          "You'll never hurt me," he responded.

          "You don't know that," I told him and then paused. "But I do. And it's just something that I hate about me, and I've already hurt Calum too many times. I hate myself for that, and I refused to let anyone get hurt."

          He grabbed both my hands. "I just have this feeling that we're missing out on something that can be beautiful, Val," he said. "I can't let you go until I know I've tried with all my might. We can go out just once, and whatever happens after that, happens. I won't stop you from walking away, okay?"

          I glanced down at the ground and chewed on my lip. One time couldn't be that bad, but how would I talk to Calum about it? I'd have to figure that out along the way, but I trusted myself for now.

          "Okay," I said. "But no funny business."

          "If I do recall, you're the one who kissed me," he said with a laugh.

          I slapped him on the shoulder, and since I didn't have a good comeback, I simply said: "Shut up."

: : : : : : : : : : : :

Wow, looks like I did finish the chappie. I know it was short, and I actually hate this chapter. But anyways. ASH SCORED A DATE! I'm internally screaming.

On another, but the same, note, I'm going to try and work up the confidence to tell this guy I think he's cute. Wish me luck, minions!

Update: he got a girlfriend right after lol.

Update on the update: He works at DQ now, and I've avoided it since.