"You didn't sleep last night, did you?" Katie asked.

"I did, a full three hours." I drummed my fingers against the wood of the tabletop as fast as I possibly could. My eyes darted around the room frantically, looking at the other girls and the banners that hung in the dining hall. I couldn't keep my attention on anything.

"This has to stop, Flick. It's been almost a week. You're making me agitated. There's only so long you can go on next to no sleep."

"I'm fine. In seven days, this will all be over. Six if you exclude today."

"You're taking this too far. We're sitting our O-Levels in the next few days and even we're not as wound up as you are."

Wound up seemed like a small exaggeration. Since Monday, I had spent almost every free hour working on my new project and that included every night. Every evening, Miss Jones would call lights out and when the room fell silent, I would tiptoe out of bed and sneak down to the common room. I'd be back before anyone noticed and even had time for a quick run around the grounds, but it did nothing to calm me down and I was little more energetic than usual.

Still, I had made progress with my project and was well on the way to finishing it in time. A lack of sleep wasn't going to stop me from finishing it and by the time the presentations were over and done with I promised myself I would sleep for at least a week, if not more. For not, the project was more important than everything and that included more than three hours of sleep.

"What's the plan for today?" Jo asked.

"Same as yesterday," I said.

"You need to take a break, Flick. This isn't healthy."

"What are you two doing today?"

"Studying." Katie shrugged.

"So, the same thing you've been doing every day for the past six days."

"The difference is, we're sleeping at night."

"I'm fine. Trust me."

Katie looked at me and exchanged an unreadable glance with Jo. They stared at each other for a few seconds before looking away. I continued to tap my fingers on the table, the metal charms from the bracelet hitting the wood and creating a slight clanging sound. Everyone around us stared at me, but no one said anything about it. After several days of drumming, most people had become used to it, the only person who still complained was Victoria.

After speeding my way through breakfast and spilling more cereal on myself than eating it, I left the table and returned to the common room. I threw myself down on one of the sofas and ran my eyes over the project. Katie and Jo had decided to go to the library to study, they didn't like being in the same room as me when I was working on my project. Apparently, I was a little annoying.

I spent the day building up the creative element of my project, ending up covered in more glue and paint than anything else. At one point, I ended up with my pencil stuck to the palm of my hand and almost threw it half-way across the room when I tried to get it off. I missed the lunch bell and ended up so engrossed in my work that I didn't even notice the sun setting or the supper bell.

"Come on, Flick. The supper bell just went," Katie said. She poked her head around the door and looked at me.

"In a second," I said.

"No, now. You missed lunch. Jo and I had Miss Jones on our backs earlier because of you. I get that this is important, but so is supper."

"Alright, I'm coming." I stuffed my project into a cupboard so no one would find it and wiped my hands on a damp cloth I kept by my side.

Katie opened the door a little wider and gestured me through it, closing it behind me and staying as close to my back as possible so I wouldn't try and return to the common room. She stayed close behind me all the way down to the dining hall and even made sure I was wedged into the seat between her and an unknown third year who didn't appear all that impressed. Jo sat across from me, she had an ink smudge across her cheek and stabbed at the peas in front of her as though trying to squish them rather than eat them.

I tapped my fingers on the desk and dove into the food in front of me. My mind ran through multiple different scenarios and possibilities of the next few steps I needed to take to finish the project. With only a few days left, I needed to plan every single step down to the last detail to make sure I was done in time. The only issue happened to be that despite the project taking the forefront in my priority list, my feelings for Katie kept nudging their way in and forcing me to re-evaluate what I was going.

Every time she had spoken to me over the past week made me feel as though she was mad at me and it broke my heart a little. Part of me wanted to throw in the towel and just spend all that time with Katie helping her study. I hated how upset and mad Katie seemed to be and I wanted to do whatever it took to put our friendship back to rights. Except the project had to take priority. Without the project, I wouldn't be able to come back next year and whatever may have happened between Katie and I would be nothing more a 'what if' scenario.

The project had to come first, even it meant hurting Katie and Jo's feelings.

"Felicity? Mrs Leverton found this floating in the swimming pool. Judging by the little content we can read; I think it might be yours." I looked up and saw Mrs Jones holding several rather soggy sheets of paper.

"So that's where my project ended up. I did wonder."

"This is yours then?"

"Uh-huh. My project grew legs and apparently decided to go for a swim."

"I don't understand," Miss Jones said.

"It was in my trunk on Monday, I went for a run and then it wasn't."

"Are you saying someone took it?" I shrugged. "This needs to be reported to Mrs Maddox if that is the case."

"No, it's fine. I can't prove anyone stole it. It's all sorted anyway."

"And by all sorted you mean you missed lunch to work on a new project? I know this is important, Felicity, but not at the expense of your health."

"Everything's fine, I'm fine. Honestly."

Miss Jones looked at me and said nothing more on the matter, but I saw her exchange glances with Katie. She balled up the soaking wet paper and left the dining hall, dripping water all over the floor as she went. For the past few days, none of us had any idea what had happened to my project after it left my trunk. It turned out Victoria must have had a sense of humour if she thought throwing it in the pool was entertaining. To her, it might have been. To me, it had caused a rather high amount of unnecessary stress and left me feeling bad that I couldn't help Katie and Jo with their studying like I had promised.

I looked at Katie, watching how she seemed to pick at her food without eating, the slight crease on her forehead as though she was concentrating. She didn't seem all that happy, neither did Jo. I was sacrificing my friendship for a piece of schoolwork.

A thousand different thoughts ran through my head and I tapped my fingers a little harder on the table. If I kept up my obsession with the project, then come the end of the week I wouldn't have any friends and no reason to return to Maddox for my fifth year. Something would have to give if it meant Katie would stop being mad at me and I could finally look at her without being overcome by a strong feeling of guilt. The project was important, but so were my friends.

"If you need any help studying, I can help after supper," I said after a little while.

"What about the project?" Katie asked.

"The paint has to dry so there isn't much I can do on it for now. Besides, I promise I would help, and I've been really bad at that recently. You start the exams on Monday, and I haven't helped as much as I should have."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. It can wait for an evening."

Katie smiled and returned to her dinner, eating it rather than picking at it, and even Jo relaxed. Despite the feeling at the back of my mind that I was making a mistake by not working on my project, it was nice to see Jo relax a little. She had been tense all week and I didn't think my disappearing acts helped all that much. At least I had the time to make it up to her, even if the tornado had started to reform in my head that I knew would continue until I returned to my project.

After supper, we went to the library since it was one of the quietest places to work and threw ourselves into the science work that Jo had been struggling with. We worked our way through the anatomy work, which left us with an interesting skeleton drawing, and ended up on chemical reactions. Since it was a Saturday, the library stayed open a little longer than usual and we stayed working until the librarian asked us to leave so she could lock up.

With the library closed, and the teachers about to start their rounds and collect the last few students still working, we went our separate ways. I was one of the last to return to the dormitory that evening, and I ignored the stares that Victoria sent my way. From what I knew, Victoria had no idea I had restarted the project or the lengths at which I was going to make sure it was done on time. Luckily for me, she never spent that much time in the common room, so she'd never find it in the cupboard. I hoped.

I changed into my pyjamas and curled up in bed with my book, but I couldn't focus. It was as though my project was calling me through the darkness from the cupboard in the common room. Lights went out across the room as girls went to bed and I joined in, closing the book and putting it on my nightstand but I didn't get into bed. Instead, I stared into the darkness and listened to the sounds of breathing and occasional bedsprings creaking.

When the room fell silent, I kicked the blankets off and slipped my feet into a pair of slippers. I pulled my dressing-gown on and padded across the room, slipping out and disappearing down the stairs. The hallway was cloaked in darkness as I walked the short distance to the common room, opening the door just enough for me to slip inside before anyone caught me. I grabbed my project from the cupboard and settled into one of the sofas. I flicked a nearby stand-light on.

I set to work adding more to the paint and repeating my notes to myself so I wouldn't have the sheet with me on stage. The only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock, but I tuned it out and focused on the task in front of me. I was so engrossed in my work that I didn't hear the door open.

"Working late again?" Katie said from behind me. I turned around and almost covered her in paint.

"Don't scare me like that, I thought you were a teacher."

"I should have done my Mrs Maddox impression; I've been told it's quite good."

"What are you doing here?"

"I figured you'd be up. That, and I'm worried about you."

"Why? I'm fine."

"You were miles away during the study session, we both knew where you'd rather be. I get that this is important and that there's a lot riding on you passing the presentation, but you haven't slept in days, you barely eat anything, and you fidget more than Jo's baby cousin. It's not healthy."

She walked around the side of the sofa and sat beside me, taking the paintbrush from my hand and laying it on the table. I looked at her, noticing the sadness in her eyes and finally realising what it meant. All this time I had thought it was because I wasn't helping them study, that I had neglected my promise, but it had never been about that. It had always been about me and my obsession with the project or making it perfect and at neglecting my own needs.

"I know. It's just-" I paused. "-this is important to me. Perhaps one of the most important things I have ever done. My dad has supported me my entire life. He's the reason I'm here and I don't want to disappoint him by having nothing to present on Friday. I have to do this for him."

"What about you, what do you want?"

I knew exactly what I wanted.

She was sitting right in front of me, her face only a short distance away from mine.

Without thinking, I finally gave into my heart.

I kissed her.

~~~

First Published - August 2nd, 2020