We were due to sit our exams at the start of March.

They would be added with the final project and the Christmas exams – they were going to use my entrance exams – to determine whether we passed or failed the year. With two weeks to go, the teachers were driving us harder than ever. Our lessons were dedicated to revision on topics done so far and surprise tests so we could find fault in our knowledge. I didn't mind it that much although my mind started to wander a lot faster in lesson then it usually did.

Although I wasn't all that fussed by the added workload, Katie was.

"I don't get why we have to do the exams if we're sitting the O-Levels in June. They don't count for anything," she said, slamming the book shut and scaring everyone in the room.

"It's just to see where we are. That and they need something to give to our parents at Parents Day," Jo said.

"Parents Day is fine and dandy until the results are handed out. Sometimes I wish they'd just post them, so I'd get in trouble over the telephone rather than in person. I think they like handing them out in person just to torture us."

Katie slumped back against the leather of the chair and ran her hands over her face. She pushed her hair back and got her hand tangled in the mass of curl that hung over the back of the chair. Light streamed in through the window, illuminating her skin and hair in a warm glow. I found myself biting back a smile.

The longer I spent with Katie, the more I noticed the small things. The way she would run her hands through her hair when she was stressed or bite the skin on her thumb when she was thinking. I caught myself looking at her that much longer when the sun hit her, smiling whenever she laughed. There was something captivating about her, but I didn't know what it was.

I turned the page of my history book, my eyes running over the page whilst my hand moved across the blank page in the notebook. Katie rested her elbows on the book in front of her and peered over my shoulder. She watched me copy down some notes from the book, none of them coherent but Katie tried to decipher them anyway. My handwriting had been a constant point of discussion amongst my teachers.

"What's it like being so smart that these exams are going to be a walk in the park?" she asked.

"Ha! I wish it were that easy. Being smart can be good for exams, especially if the questions require one-word answers. Essay questions are difficult. I have too many thoughts going through my head and none of them allows for a coherent argument. I have to write everything down before I start the essay," I said.

"That's better than me! I can't even do the one-word answers. My mind just goes blank."

"I'd rather a blank mind than one that never stops." I closed the book and looked at her. "Why don't I help you? I used to tutor a friend back home. I can't guarantee I'll be any good at it, mind."

"Would you? I could love you forever! If you can get me to remember Diogenes, I'm sure this will be easy."

She smiled at me and I slipped the book and paper into my bag since I did not need them. My notes for the independent project had grown exponentially in a short space of time and I needed to stop making more and start putting them into a more coherent structure. I hoped Katie would help since the fifth years were not expected to take part in the projects because their final exams were too close to the presentation day. There would be no way I could sort through it all by myself. I needed another set of eyes.

Katie handed me the sheet of paper that had all their exam topics on it and I quickly scanned through it. I took my pen from my bag and made marks beside the topics that would be harder than others and the ones that needed a little more work. Michael used to marl things he struggled with when he was at school and it always helped to balance his time. I hoped it would help Katie a little.

I took the book from her lap and flicked it open, thumbing through the pages and folding over any that seemed important and might be worth looking at later. Katie watched me the whole time, her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to figure out just what I was doing. She reached over me to take the sheet of paper back, her hand lightly brushing my arm and sending a strange, tingling sensation up to my shoulder. She seemed to do it on purpose.

My heart hammered away in my chest and I swallowed to try and push the feeling down. It had happened several times since that moment all those weeks ago but neither I nor Katie had mentioned it to each other. Either I had been making it up, or she was just as confused as I was about why it was happening. I didn't want to be the first one to bring it up, so I ignored it. Katie seemed to be brushing past me a lot more than usual.

"I should go, choir practice starts in a minute," Jo said from beside Katie. She checked the clock on the wall and started to pack up her bag.

"See you at supper," Katie said.

"If we don't get kept behind. Again." She rolled her eyes.

"More for me."

Jo grinned and slapped Katie lightly with her bag when she passed, shuffling in front of us and out the door of the common room. A few of the other girls who were also part of the school choir left too, thinning out the room a little. Most of those in the common room were fifth years with some of the other students outside in the sun or floating around the various dormitories or the library. Most of the afternoons at Maddox had students fathering to get work done so they'd have some free time in the evening.

Katie shuffled a little closer to me and peered over my shoulder, her knee pressed against mine. My breath caught and I fought to keep it steady, taking a deep breath and putting my attention into the work in front of me. I looked at the words on the page, but none of them made sense. Once again, my mind went blank and I couldn't focus on anything in front of me and even the whirlwind of thoughts that usually spun through my head were silent.

"So how do we go about this? I'm clueless when it comes to studying," she asked.

"Everyone does it differently. My brother used to write everything down and then have someone ask him questions to see what he could remember. I think we need to first go through the material and narrow down specific points that need work. It seems useless to go over what you already know and ignore the stuff you don't."

"Sounds like a plan." She pushed her hair off her face and took the book off me, flipping through the folded over pages. "What lessons are you joining us in?"

"History and sewing. It was going to be history and science, but it wasn't an easy exchange, apparently. Since you have sewing when I have history and the other way around, it just made more sense."

"You can put us all to shame in class now." Katie laughed.

I shook my head and pulled my prep from my bag, deciding it would be better to work on that then add more notes to my project and become inundated with facts that led nowhere. Katie pulled out a sheet of paper and started to make her own notes, running through the book and figuring out what she needed to work on. Once she had gone through one book, she produced another.

Outside, darkness started to fall. The light faded and before we knew it, we were working in the dark with no one having the desire to put the light on. Most of the other fifth years had given up, their books were open in front of them, but they were playing card games or gossiping. Some had even fallen asleep on their books. Katie and I were the only ones still working but it looked as though Katie was starting to nod off as well.

My stomach groaned and I finished up my last few pieces of prep, tucking them into my bag. I swung my bag onto my lap and started to dig through it, pulling out scraps of paper and a new handkerchief. Miss Jones had given me a fresh one and burnt the one I had used to stem the bleeding from my hand, but I wished I had my old one. I tucked it inside and continued to route around, finding a paper bag of lemon sweets tucked away in the bottom.

"Lemon sweet?" I asked Katie, holding out the bag to her.

"Where they come from?"

"Michael sent them to me. His way of celebrating the end of sweet rationing. I forgot about them so they might be a bit sticky."

"What time is it?" She stuck her hand into the bag and pulled out a sweet, popping it into her mouth.

"Half five," someone on the other side of the room said.

"I'm hungry now."

"You're always hungry," I said, taking my sweet and stuffing them into my bag before letting it slide to the floor.

I popped the sweet into my mouth and slumped back against the sofa, staring up at the ceiling. The clock on the wall ticked away and I watched the last spot of sunlight glide across the ceiling, waiting for it to disappear completely from view. Every now and then, Katie would turn the page in her book or scratch a pen against the paper, but the room stayed quiet. Occasionally, a door would slam somewhere nearby.

When I had first arrived at Maddox, I thought the silence to be a little unnerving, but it had started to grow on me. I found I could concentrate far better in silence than I ever could at home with the outside noise that came from the pubs and factory workers. Despite that, I still didn't feel completely at home at Maddox and I didn't think I ever would. Victoria continued to be a pain that I didn't want to deal with.

After the incident in the sewing room and the comment she had made afterwards, I had actively avoided being anywhere near her or her friends. She would stare at me from across the room or grin and wave whenever she saw me. It felt as though she was lurking behind every door or corner to try and catch me out and convince me to leave the school. She had tried to drown me, caused me to cut my hand with a pair of scissors and there would be no telling what she had planned.

I glanced down at the cut on my hand, looking at the line that had started to heal thanks to Miss Jones and her magic antiseptic cream. The plaster had come off on its own three days after the accident and a scab had started to form. My hand no longer ached every time I tried to do anything. I hadn't told anyone about Victoria's comment, not even Katie because I knew what she would do if she were to find out.

Beside me, Katie slammed the book shut and shoved it into her bag, adding the sheet of paper with it and swinging it onto her lap. She caught me looking at the cut on my hand.

"Is it still bothering you?" she asked.

"Not really. It only hurts if I touch it. Miss Jones says it's healing as it should be."

"At least you didn't bleed all over the tapestry," Katie said, mimicking Miss Feldman.

"I wish I had."

"And get given a detention? You? No way!" She paused. "Is Mrs Maddox still watching you?"

"Like a hawk. She's always there when I come out of my lessons. I don't get why; I haven't spoken to Victoria in almost a week."

"She'll give up the ghost eventually, and she didn't tell your parents."

"I suppose." I dropped my head to look at my hands.

"Hey, none of that."

She took my left hand, watching out for the cut, and gave it a light squeeze. The same tingle from before travelled up my arm and a warm heat moved throughout my body. I returned the squeeze, lacing my fingers with hers and not wanting her to go, not yet. We sat in silence, the ticking on the wall filling the room and the low hum of chatter from the other girls blended into the background until the entire room was silent.

The other fifth years just disappeared and it felt like it was just Katie and me alone in the common room with no one else around. Nothing seemed to matter except that moment. Everything else just stopped. The thoughts that filled my head went silent, as they often did when Katie grabbed onto my hand. Not even the clock on the wall could bother me. At the moment, it was just the two of us and that was how I wanted it to stay.

After a few minutes, the lunch bell rang, and Katie released my hand.

~~~

First Published - July 13th, 2020