Tough girl in the fast lane
No time for love, no time for hate
No drama, no time for games
Tough girl whose soul aches

I'm at home, on my own
Check my phone, nothing, though
Act busy, order in
Pay TV, it's agony

|2 months later|

"Alexa, get out of bed, right now. " Nikki said.

"Why? " I asked.

"Because you haven't been answering people's calls and I don't think you left your house in months so get the fuck up." She said pulling off my covers.

"I don't want to. There's no purpose. " I said putting the pillow over my head.

"Don't you dare say that. That baby growing inside of you is your purpose. He lied or withheld the truth and I understand that hurts a lot but you're a grown woman. Don't let that shit get to you." She said.

"Why? Do you have to be right." I said getting up from my bed.

"Because I'm wise. Go take a shower and I'll pick your outfit." She said taking a sit on the bed.

"Fine." I said getting out of the bed.

I got in the shower, and the hot water felt relaxing. it was just what I needed to help me relax. Plus, my little bump was growing and I was super excited to be a mom. Even though I'm not happy with how things are going with the father of my baby.

"Alexa!" Tammy, my younger sister said walking into the bathroom.

"Tammy!" I yelled.

"Yes, I'm here and I need to pee so don't talk until I'm done." She said.

"Tam, really? These another bathroom and you're in mine because?" I asked.

"Hush, and Brie, is using it. I think she's pregnant because she was talking these cravings and I've been pregnant before so I know." She answered.

"She probably is." I said.

AlexandriaG: When your out and about in Canada and @PandoraMcgregor comes into town. She makes me happy!

PandoraMcgregor: I love you too Boo! You're gonna be an amazing momma, one hot one at that!

When we entered the restaurant, Pandora was chatting with Nicole. Tammy was taking pictures with Brie. I looked up and met blue eyes that I once fell for.

"What is he doing here?" I asked the girls.

"Randy must have told him where we were." Nicole answered.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you're not the only one hurting." Nicole said.

"Alex, man up and talk to the man." Tammy said.

I got up then walked over to the table where he was. I sat down across from him then he looked at me. 

"Alex...." He trailed off. 

"Brock, you want to go somewhere more private to discuss this?" I asked. 

"Yeah, what about the house?" He asked. 

"That's fine, I don't need them staring right now." I replied looking over at the group. 

"Ready when you are." He said standing up.

"Okay, let's go." I replied standing up.

✘✘✘✘✘

We had a little stare down for a couple of seconds until Brock cleared his throat. I felt my cheeks heat up and I looked back down at the floor while I heard a chuckle.

"You're blushing." He said.

I heard brock walking over to me. I felt his hands cup my cheeks to make me look up at him. He slowly started to lean in but I sneezed. He pulled away from me.

"Bless you." he said wiping his face.

"Sorry." I said.

"Lets go and see where my driving takes us." He said.

"The ER but let me get my purse." I said.

"I'll go get the car." he said.

He headed out and I ran back to table and grabbed my purse and told the girls bye. I hurried to outside and saw Brock in blue jeans and a white v-neck standing next to his car.

He looks fucking sexy.

"You ready." he said.

"Yup, let's go." I said smiling.

He opened up the passenger door to his black SUV for me and I got in. So the whole ride I acted like a child pointing at all the places I thought were cool. He laughed.

"Look at that?"

"I don't see nothing."

"Look a McDonalds."

"Ew!"

"Do you know where we're going?"

"Nope." Brock said.

I stared at Brock watching him drive. Everything about him is beautiful. His eyes. His smile. I'm his biggest fan. I paid attention to every word he said. He doesn't talk a lot but that's okay because I like silence.

"Brock look a lake, turn here." I said jumping up and down in my seat.

"Calm down " Brock said.

He parked the car and we got out. We walked to a big lake surrounded by many trees and flowers. We sat at a bench seating besides each other.

"I wish ducks could come out." I said clapping my hands.

"You're a big child." He said. I just stuck my tongue out at him.

"Okay, we need to talk." I said.

"Let's talk." He said.

"Brock, there's something I need to say before I let you explain yourself." I said.

"Okay." He said.

"I'm pregnant but that's not the reason why I left." I told him. 

"I'm all too familiar with the struggles that come with loving someone who has done drugs or something to help their physical appearance. I met Tom my junior year of high school. He was part of the "cool" clique I guess you could say; he liked to drink a few beers on the weekend and do a little drag racing here and there. That "danger" is probably what attracted me to him in the first place. We began dating the summer before my senior year and got married three years later.Like so many others, Tom developed an addiction to prescription pain pills after they were prescribed for a legitimate injury. He actually broke his back from falling off a roof. After several surgeries, he could no longer function without a 24-hour supply of OxyContin. He was eventually referred to a pain clinic and, after missing three mandatory pill counts, he was kicked out." I said.

"Once he lost that "legal" monthly supply of OxyContin, he started buying them off the street. And that's when our finances went down the drain. He took every dime we had and spent it on pills. I knew it was bad, but I just didn't want to admit to myself how bad. I was in denial, you know? After creditors began threatening to sue and we'd had both our cars repossessed, I took on a second job. Tom was getting a monthly disability check. Combined, we could have probably gotten ourselves out of the financial mess we were in, but he just couldn't stop buying pills. I finally got a separate checking account and, without access to my income, Tom could no longer afford to buy OxyContin. That's when he switched to heroin." I said.

"What changes did you see in him once he turned to heroin?" Brock asked. 

"Oh, he was so much worse. He would lay around the house nodding outconstantly. I can't count the times I saw him passed out on the couch with drool pouring from his mouth. He stopped eating; he only left the house to go meet his drug dealers. He was literally just a shell of a man. Tom, the person I'd loved for the better part of my life, was now a stranger. So, I left him. I couldn't take it anymore and I didn't want to live around that anymore." I said.

"How do you leave him?" He asked.

"Believe it or not, I was watching an addiction documentary on TV and felt like it was a mirror image of my life. I knew I had to be strong and put myself first for once. I wanted a better life and, if Tom wasn't interested in improving our lives as a couple, I had to go. Don't get me wrong; I'd done all the research and reached out to counselors beforehand. Tom ultimately entered, and was kicked out of, seven rehab programs. It was an ugly pattern that just kept repeating itself. In the end, I had to give myself permission to leave him in order to save my own life. And that wasn't an easy choice to make; it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I ended up sitting Tom down one night and telling him I was done." I said.

"So that's why you freaked out on me." He said.

"Yeah, that's why." I told him, "I can't spend another day without you. I feel protected when I'm with you. I can't afford to go through that again. So, please next time you decide to something like that talk to me because if I have to find out like that again. I'm not giving you another chance." I said.