Oh, you come and set for something
How you fight to keep it under
Tell me something why you're running?
Why you need to be in the shelter from me?
Cold, to lie awake with the thoughts surround you
Come to me, the way it was before

My hands were shaking as I stared down in disbelief at the constant stream of notifications on my phone.

Brock? Failed drug test?

I almost refused to believe it.

But as I kept scrolling through the news sites and gossip blogs, the comments and the videos, I couldn't shake the nausea curdling in my gut. I couldn't control the sickening way my heart seemed to grow heavier and heavier in my chest as I tried to find some inkling that this was all just a joke, a rib, that this wasn't sending the voices in my head into overdrive.

This wasn't a joke.

Brock is under investigation.

Management had known after the pay-per-view that he'd failed a drugs test.

Brock had known before the pay-per-view that he'd failed a drugs test.

And yet none of this had been mentioned to me.

I took a deep, shuddering breath. Switching my mobile to silent, I dropped it behind me on the bed as I leaned forward to prop my elbows on my knees, hands bracing my face as I stared down at the wall.

I was overreacting.

The rumour mill always blew things out of proportion; there was no point in getting himself worked up about something without getting the facts first. There was no point in having a panic without talking to Brock first.

Until then, there was nothing he could do but try to calm down. Relax. This was all just a big mistake, and once he hears those words come out of Brock's mouth, I'll chastise myself for even thinking half of the shit right now.

But I knew that it would not be that easy.

I heard the door open and didn't even bother looking up because I knew that it was him. I didn't want to see him.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Alex, baby?" He asked.

I snapped.

"Don't you fucking 'baby' me, Brock!" I yelled.

My voice was dripping with acid, and Brock flinched at the tone. Actually flinched.

Brock lifted his arms up in a sign of surrender, taking a step towards the unstable me. I held my ground, violently trembling as the tears started streaming once more down my clammy cheeks. My nails digging into my palm.

"Did you do it?" I asked him.

"Alex, please. I made a mistake. It was an accident. I never meant for it to happen." Brock said.

I grabbed my phone and my car keys, stuffing them into my pockets with shaking fingers.

Brock's eyes weren't supposed to glaze over with unshed tears as I pulled my sneakers on.

Brock's hands weren't supposed to stay dangling by his side, defeated, as I shrugged on my leather jacket.

"Alex, please, I'm sorry, just let me explain…" He said. His voice was never supposed to sound like that. Broken.

I let out a deep sigh, the anger in my words replaced with a bitter pain that only made me feel more ill as it seeped out into the room.

"I need air…" I said.

I never looked back once, never saw Brock's eyes fall on the floor, as I slipped out the room, letting the door slam shut behind me as I made my way down the stairs and out the door.

"Dad, is Alexa coming back?" Mya asked entering the room.

"I don't know." He answered.

"You always ruin everything." Mya said running out the room.

✘ ✘ ✘

Heading to Nicole's which she was a 39 minute drive and I needed to vent to someone. I called mom on the way there.

"Hello." My mom said answering the phone.

"Mom I need help and advice." I said.

"I'm all ears." She said.

"I think by now you should know about Brock failing his drug test." I said.

"You're upset about it, ain't you?" She asked.

"So, what do I do?" I asked.

"Well, first of all, you're massively overreacting. I mean, yeah, Brock fucked up big time, but that doesn't mean that suddenly the world is going to stop spinning." She replied.

I winced, biting down on my bottom lip.

"So yeah, you can call Brock your rock, or your world, or whatever sweet shit you wanna dress your relationship up in, but at the end of the day, he's suffering just as much as you are right now, probably even more so seeing a he's just had his all amazing image blown to shit." She said.

"Why didn't he tell me though?" I asked just above a whisper, an almost childlike thread of confusion and hurt colouring my tone.

"Really? Come on, Alexandria, even you could answer that question." She said.

"First of all, Would you want the entire world finding out that you'd made such a fuck up? The quote unquote beast man finally proving all his critics right and showing he can't handle the pressure?" She asked.

"Most importantly, Brock just didn't want to hurt you? I mean, you two are so fucking sickeningly in love with each other. For god's sake, just go and talk to him. Listen to him. I mean, I get that you're upset and spiralling and all that crap, but Brock's the one now taking the wrap and the brunt of all this attention, he needs all of the support he can get." She said.

"How am I supposed to trust him now, though?" I asked.

"I can't tell you what to do right now Alex, only you can tell yourself what you want to do." She said.

"That sounds like some cheesy fairy tale bull-" I was about to say before she cut me off.

"For fuck's sake Alex, please shut up." She said.

"All I know right now is that both of you are hurting. Both of you are suffering. And I'm not saying that one of you has it worse off than the other or that kind of crap, but what I am saying is that the two of you need to sit down, get your heads out of your asses, and figure out things by yourself. You need to listen to what he has to say, and you need to make him listen to how this has fucked you up. You're both in this relationship together, so do the whole relationship thing together and try and fucking fix it, alright?" She said.

"Thank you." I said.

"Don't call me until you guys make up." She said hanging up the phone.