Chapter 16; Wipe Away Those Crocodile Tears

We are both dumb, dumb, dumb...

───── ❝ do haru ❞ ─────

Haru was perplexed; she was unable to comprehend the ridiculous desolation that her heart was drowning in. It was a feeling so foolish, it knew itself and refused to fit into a certain category, making it only harder for Haru to understand herself. 

Yoongi hadn't shown up to school, hadn't spoken to her, called her or at the very least sent a message. Haru hadn't seen him at all, and It was odd. She had never spent a day, in the past five years, without exchanging at least a text with him.

Her face felt uncomfortable as it was all scrunched up and tensed, manifesting just how deep in thought was she. 

And as she restlessly marched forwards, with no destination, she had completely forgotten about the kind soul that trudged behind her like a shadow.

At some point, Haru's endless marching came to a halt, and she sighed. Only then had she realised just how cold it was, in fact, a harsh chill ran down her spine. Haru wasn't sure whether it was because of the loneliness, the coldness or Yoongi, but childish tears started to pool in her eyes. 

'Stupid, stupid, stupid!' she mumbled under her breath, wrapping her arms around herself. 'Stupid Yoongi.' Haru pouted, looking up at the sky and moon in a half-successful attempt to thwart her tears from falling. 

'Stupid, stupid, stupid!' repeated someone behind her like a parrot, and only then had her attention been returned to Earth. 'Stupid Haru,' said Jimin as he walked up to her with his ever-so-bright grin. He slowly removed his scarf, cladding it around her neck. 'Keep warm.'

'I am sorry.' she looked down, playing with the white woollen scarf—the only bright item on her. 'I totally forgot I made you follow me.'

'You didn't make me do anything.' Jimin cupped her cheeks, 'I voluntary chose to follow you around like the lost puppy that I am.'

Haru raffled his hair, 'Thanks, Jimin.'

'I did nothing,' he said as he grabbed her hand, intertwining their hands. 'But I want to do something, so let's get that pretty smile of yours out. Anything you'd like to do?' 

'Um, I-I don't know?' Haru stuttered out, making it sound more like a question. She sniffed, 'Maybe we can just take a walk?'

'Anything.'

The two wandered around, stopping by some shops here and there. It was a chill evening spent well. So well, that they both felt like they had to part too soon. But it was what was. University couldn't give two shits, it expected you to be there. 

'I had fun.' Haru fiddled with her fingers as she stood at her doorstep, silently cursing herself for acting like a shy high school girl. 'Thanks for cheering me up, Jimin,' she added, turning around. 

As she opened the door to her apartment building, Jimin grabbed her hand gently, stopping her from entering.

'Um, I had fun too. So, um, yeah... ' Jimin stammered, 'Hahaha, I'm ridiculous.' he wiped a hand down his face, trying to regain his composure. 'We should do this again.'

Haru grinned from ear to ear, 'Indeed. We should.'

'Or maybe I should just properly ask you on a date sometime?' 

'I-I...' Haru turned redder than a tomato.

However, Jimin wasn't helping at all, especially when he decided to grab her chin between his index finger and thumb, pulling her face closer to his. He stared at her, silently asking for consent as if he were too shy to verbalise this courtesy of his. Just like Jimin, Haru was embarrassed, so she gave Jimin a simple reply: she closed her eyes. 

Without any further ado, Jimin cut the little space that was left between their lips. Haru's back, in a mild thud, met the wooden door behind her. And as the two got ballsier, Jimin cupped her face and Haru gripped onto his coat. Once the two pulled away, they were breathing heavily. 

'I'll leave now,' whispered Jimin, throwing her a last smile before disappearing into the darkness. 

Haru kept on panting. She waited for a minute as if to make sure that Jimin was far away enough since she could not see him through the blackness of the night before moving away from the door and squatting down.

She felt overwhelmed, but that wasn't the problem. What frustrated her was the fact that she didn't know why. No matter how much she disliked Mrs Hwang, she had always followed her advice: 'Feel what you need to feel, but find out the reason, and from there, you learn to control your emotions.'

And right now, she was unable to find it in herself to understand her mind, to understand herself. Those crybaby tears made a comeback. All the pent up rage, frustration, and confusion burst out like an exploding volcano.

And Haru almost literally forgot she was squatting on the sidewalk right in front of her apartment building. Her nose, cheeks and eyes became redder, and she buried her face into her hands, rocking on the balls of her feet.

'Wipe away those crocodile tears,' said a familiar low and husky voice.

Haru instantly looked up, only to be greeted by her best friend's frowning figure. She stood up and stared at him for a few seconds. Then, instinctively, she threw a sudden punch into his nose, leaving her hand hanging straight in the air as Yoongi stumbled off the sidewalk. 

He rubbed his nose. After recovering, Yoongi said nothing, waiting for Haru to start talking first. 

'What the fuck, Min Yoongi? You didn't reply to my texts and you didn't show up yesterday! Do you even care about me?' she yelled, and she was livid. More than she would have liked to be.

Yoongi felt a pang of guilt in his chest, making him realise that Haru must've been on tenterhooks because of him. He was just spending a day with his girlfriend, dedicating his time to her, so he regretted nothing.

'Sorry, Haru,' he said awkwardly, 'I was with Haneul. I think I've been a bit too distant from her, plus, my phone died. I am really sorry.'

Yoongi's phone had run out of battery yesterday, and yes, he could have charged it, or simply use Haneul's phone, but he didn't want to. Now, however, he felt like a miscreant from seeing the disappointment painted oh-so-clearly over Haru's red face.

'Oh,' mumbled Haru, her face morphing into something unreadable. 'You could have at least used her phone or something. Whatever, um, it's okay.' she looked away, swallowing a lump that she didn't know even existed in her throat.

'What happened yesterday? Did you solve the issue? I am seriously sorry, I literally overslept and that's why I decided not to come to school...'

'So you knew—' Haru attempted to speak but was cut off.

'No, I, um...' Yoongi groaned and grabbed her shoulders, 'I think we should go inside. It's freezing in here.'

Haru pulled away from him, giving him an almost hateful scowl before pulling the door open. 

...

After making it through a couple of hallways and a minute of tension in the elevator, they had finally made it inside Haru's apartment. They both plopped onto the couch tiredly, away from each other.

Suddenly, shifting could be heard in the nearby distance. A purring sound filled the room as the two friends turned their heads towards the hallway, noticing Yeongi stretching cutely.

'Aw, my little bro,' Yoongi almost cooed, ripping a giggle out of Haru's mouth. His eyes met hers and the speed of their hearts accelerated as their grins faded away slowly. 'There is something wrong...' he muttered.

'Yeah, what's wrong? Why are we so stiff? Why are we so tense with each other?' Haru bit onto her lower lip as Yeongi rubbed himself against her forearm, releasing a high-pitched meow. 'Why don't we talk it over some Soju?'

'You freaking alcoholic,' Yoongi grumbled whilst jumping onto his feet, lightening up the atmosphere as he ripped a laugh out of his friend's mouth.

He sat at the table, watching as Haru firstly took care of Yeongi by giving him some dry food and changing his water. As the cat munched on his meal, Haru gathered some junk food and pulled out a couple of bottles of Soju from the fridge.

'Hey! When did you buy these?' Yoongi huffed, saddened by the fact that she had bought unhealthy crap without him.

'Well, yesterday we were supposed to go to the marker together 'cause you know... it's what we usually do on Mondays, but you were busy, so I went with Jimin instead,' she responded calmly, tearing a pack of Pringles open and shoving a big chunk into her mouth, quaffing it all down with some Soju.

'Ew.' Yoongi cringed, scrunching his nose, he really wasn't up for the messy eating. Nonetheless, the cringe wasn't enough to cover up the mild twinge in his heart.

Haru had replaced him and gone shopping with Jimin instead. The minty-green-haired bloke reached for a glass, pouring himself some alcohol before hastily chugging it down. He repeated this action thrice, panting after his third shot.

'Bloody hell, my guy, chill!' gasped Haru, taking the bottle out of his hand. She poured herself the liquid and took a shot. 'Why are we like this?' she slammed the glass onto the table, the alcohol stinging her throat. 'Fuck, why?'

'I need at least a couple more shots for this dross to kick in.' Yoongi wiped a hand down his face.

'Okay, fuck.' Haru stood up, wobbling slightly. The alcohol started to kick in. Fast.

'Here.' she poured him his first shot—or well, depending on how you look at it, fourth shot. Yoongi instantly chugged it down, exhaling right afterwards, gesturing for her to glug him another glass. 'You good? Is your head spinning yet?'

'Don't you know me, wally? This is nothing, it's barely getting to me, can I just finish the bottle, for fuck's sake?' he insisted, plucking the bottle out of Haru's hand before she could even respond.

'Whatever the fuck...' she rolled her eyes, snatching the bottle back from Yoongi once he was finished before disposing of it.

Yoongi opened a new bottle, now decently filling both of their glasses but not drinking just yet. He squeezed his eyes and tilted his head, the alcohol finally doing at least something to him.

'Fuck, I lied okay?' Yoongi glared directly into Haru's glistening eyes. 'Goddamn, don't give me the puppy eyes.' he huffed again, not being able to hold back the heaviness in his chest. 'I woke up late because Haneul turned off my alarm, I then saw your messages, so I ditched her as always. I ran to school but Jimin had already made himself useful. Saw you two kissing, so I left.'

'Y-you saw that?' Haru went scarlet. She reached for her glass once again before boozing down the hooch.

'I fucking did and I don't know, it like... got me upset? So I went back to Haneul's and we dressed like fucking clowns before going to her mother's grave. We had a hearty conversation and ate a fancy dinner. I'm broke now,' Yoongi chuckled, reminiscing the previous night; Haneul's comely smile flashed in his mind.

'It's good you guys talked.' Haru nodded bitterly. 'I felt upset when you told me you basically ignored my messages and prioritised Haneul, but well, I didn't know you actually did show up at university.' 

She slapped her forehead, then punched the side of her head three times. 'Stupid, stupid, girl,' she mumbled, 'I am sorry, Lil' Meow Meow...'

Haru laid her head down on the table, inhaling lazily before exhaling loudly, the tiredness clear in her expression. 'We are both dumb, dumb, dumb...' she chirped fatuously, her voice muffled as her cheek was squashed against the table.

Her eyelashes fluttered, almost like she was forcing her eyes not to close.

'We indeed are, Ms Nuisance.' Yoongi stood up after noticing that Haru was already snoring before carrying her in his arms and placing her on the couch as if she were lighter than a feather.  

'What am I gonna do with you?' the man mumbled as he, in a very cliché manner, brushed the hair out of her face. 'You dozed off fast...'

The minty-green-haired man took a seat on the couch, mimicking his friend's previous position by laying his head on the table. His dark eyes were glued to his best friend's sleeping figure, something stirring in his heart as he mentally compared the two most important women in his life.

Haneul and Haru—

'Meow!' Yeongi meowed loudly all of a sudden, demanding to be patted instantly. Yoongi pressed his index finger against his lip, shushing the cat.

'Come here,' he whispered, opening his arms and happily taking Yeongi into his arms before placing him on his lap. 'What's wrong with me, Yeongi-ah?' the man mumbled as he caressed the cat's head, receiving content purrs in return.

↳ TO BE CONTINUED... ❞

Published date: 30/04/2022.

Word count: 2,169.

—jiminandhisjams