Chapter 11; Purple Hyacinth

 A day that he planned to be one of the best of their lives ended up being the worst one.

───── ❝ m.yg. ❞ ───── 

After Yoongi left Haru's house, he sat in his car, dwelling on whether her date with Jimin would go well. For a few minutes, he did absolutely nothing. He only stared at the parking lot ahead of him, wondering why was he feeling something so inexplicable. So much that even Shakespear wouldn't have been able to put it into words.

Was it disconsolateness? Regret? Jealous? Perhaps happiness? He just couldn't figure. But on top of that, he didn't even know why he was feeling like that. If he didn't know what he was feeling, he would've at least appreciated to know the reason.

The man had come to his best friend's house feeling very excited to help with her project. And in fact, everything went goodly, no, spectacularly. He had even found himself growing a soft spot for Jimin, so why?

When did his mood take a wrong turn?

Why did his mood take a wrong turn?

Shaking these bothersome thoughts off, Yoongi started the car. In a minute, he was already out of the parking lot. Once again it started raining; was it a coincidence that every time he went to Haneul's house it rained?

The sky seemed furious. Thunders and lightenings roared and flared. 

As he stopped in the traffic with his left elbow rested against the car door and his right hand on the steering wheel, he looked at the road blankly.

The ground was a painting made with watercolours, reflecting the sky, buildings and the lights from the various cars. Almost looking like a broken mirror due to the reflections' unclearness; someone could have mistaken them for a painting.

And right then and there, the view reminded him of that night.

───── ❝ 24/12/2018 ❞ ───── 

Yoongi quickly hopped into his car, giving his watch a quick glance. It was already ten-forty-five p.m., but he hoped that his girlfriend was still awake. He wanted to surprise her on Christmas Eve.

Yoongi had ordered Haneul her favourite flowers: red roses. However, this time he had bought her a huge bouquet of 99 roses. The last one would be handed to her by someone else.

The man shivered as he put the heater in his car on a higher level. Soon he began driving, noticing the light taps on his window caused by the commencing rain.

As he hit his mid-way point, the rain became more violent, creating loud clangours. It didn't really bother Yoongi though.

Frankly, he was kind of glad about the rain's appearance. It would feel way cosier to snuggle up in the sheets during such cold weather as he and his girlfriend would drink hot chocolate. Only to wake up to a crisp yet sunny Christmas morning.

The man, however, was oblivious to the reality that was even nippier than Seoul's wintery nights.

After ten more minutes, he had finally reached his destination and parked his car. Yoongi then made his way to Mrs Shim's shop where Haneul's flowers were waiting to be picked up. 

'Hello, Mrs Shim!' Yoongi greeted the older woman liefly before noticing her husband's presence as well. 'Oh! Hi to you as well, Mr Shim.' he bowed, his smile not leaving his face.

'Hello, Son. I am sad I don't get to see you that often since I have a different job from Jang-ah. But she tells me a lot about you, she always talks about you.' Mr Shim laughed, noticing how Yoongi's smile became shy yet wider. 'You seem very happy,' he noted.

'Yeah,' confirmed the man, 'I am here to pick up those for my girlfriend.' Yoongi pointed at the enormous bouquet of flowers wrapped in an elegant white paper with a Christmas-patterned bow.

Mr Shim nodded, a proud yet cheeky grin spreading over his face, allowing the wrinkles under his eyes to intensify.

'She will be on cloud nine after you hand her those,' the old man said as he grabbed the flowers, handing them to Yoongi once his wife was finished taking the money from him. 'Ouch!' Mr Shim yelled when his wife slapped his shoulder.

'Take notes from this young man, when will you prepare something so lovely for me?' his wife cried playfully, making him chortle. Yoongi couldn't it, although his cheeks were hurting, he smiled again at the wholesome interaction. 

'Merry Christmas, Son,' said Mr Shim, wrapping his arm around his wife's shoulders. 

'Thank you, Mrs and Mr Shim, you too! Merry Christmas.' Yoongi began walking away, almost jumping around like a seven-year-old.

However, he turned around, questioning gazes appearing on the couple's faces. 'I'll give you a call and treat you a meal some time.' he bowed one last time as they simpered at him fondly.

The bouquet was quite heavy, but fortunately, Yoongi had made it to Haneul's house intact.

He cleared his throat, biting his lower lip whilst scanning the perfect, fresh and bright crimson flowers. Once he was ready, he rang the bell, however, even after a whole minute, there was no response.

Yoongi attempted to twist the doorknob, surprisingly opening the door. He had started to feel worried. When he stepped inside, the scenery shocked him so much that he dropped the flowers.

Haru was fisting Haneul's hair as the latter kneeled on the ground with her head thrown backwards, blood tricking from her nose. His best friend looked extremely pissed to the literal maximum of her ability.

Then his eyes landed on a dude that he had never seen before.

The man, who seemed a couple (if not more) years younger than Yoongi was lying on the couch. He wore a simple and comfy-looking grey T-shirt along with black jeans, his light brown hair slightly messy.

The younger guy seemed startled, horrified even. His eyes were as wide as they could possibly be.

'Haru, Haneul!' Yoongi ran up to the two girls, peeling Haru (still keeping his gentleness with her) away from his girlfriend. 'What in the fucking devil is happing?!?'

Haru was breathing heavily as she tried to calm down. She ran a hand through her hair, huffing loudly before speaking up.

'This bitch, also know as your so-called "girlfriend", was all over this man right here on the couch. They were kissing when I came in, even forgetting to lock the door from how eager they were!' Haru shouted, pointing at the man and Haneul accusingly.

Her chest ached at the sight of Yoongi's frown becoming more intense and turning into something indicating dismay.

Back then, the relationship between Haneul and Haru was okay. They weren't best friends or extremely fond of each other, but they managed to joke around and get along. They enjoyed spending time together with Yoongi though they never really went anywhere without him.

It was after that day that everything shattered.

'Haneul did you really—' he stumbled backwards, reaching just in time for the table behind him, 'Did you really do that?' Yoongi questioned in disbelief.

All those two—almost three—years of being together were thrown right out of the window so carelessly. Their day, too, was thrown out of the window. A day that he planned to be one of the best of their lives ended up being the worst one. 

'Yoongi-ah...' Haneul tried to walk up to him whilst wiping the blood under her nose, but Haru stopped her, grabbing her shoulder and looking at her sternly.

Her look clearly said: "do not take a step further".

'Yoongi-ah, I did, she's right. I am so sorry, please don't leave me. I-I promise this was a mistake that I regret so bad—'

'Then why?!?' Yoongi rose his voice as he pushed himself off the table that he was leaning on. 'Why are you with another man? Why did you do it? What was the fucking reason? What's your excuse?'

Haneul sighed, telling him that she'd explain. Haru walked up to Yoongi and grabbed his hand in an attempt to comfort him, which even though very scarcely, still helped.

'You always spend time with her.' Haneul pointed at Haru. 'You're always with her instead of me. You always hug her, always choose and protect her. It's all Do Haru... it's only Haru. You also only talk about her and music, that's it! Haru, Haru and Haru again!' 

Her throat burned, her face was red and ugly tears ran down her cheeks.

'Do you think that threatening me when Yoongi isn't looking and cheating on him is the solution to your insecurities?' Haru asked coldly, her face showing zero sympathy as she crossed her legs and arms, keeping her chin high. 

Yoongi's neck snapped towards his best friend, 'Threatened?'

'That's right.' Haru nodded, confirming that he had heard her correctly. 

'When we went to that Chinese restaurant in Myeong-Dong, perhaps two weeks ago, was it? You went to the bathroom after we ordered. This "gentle pal", took the chance to "warn" me, a little too aggressively I'd say, to back off you.'

'H-Haneul...' Yoongi stuttered, the amount of shock only growing. But all his girlfriend did was bite her lip and look down in shame, unable to disavow Haru's claim (facts).

'I told her that you and I are best friends, that you are my brother. I also promised to try and let you go more often. I even apologized because I knew—' Haru frowned, a pang of agony hitting her chest too. 

'Because every time I looked her in the eyes, I saw that light, one of profound woe and covetousness. But what did she do? She said I was fake and a bitch for stealing you from her. As if you are a fucking possession.'

Yoongi sat there for a moment, his lips parted and his eyes glued onto the pavement. He stared at the red, sophisticated carpet that used to be so familiar and warm under his toes. 

Nonetheless, at that moment, even though he was wearing socks and hadn't even taken off his coat, it was cold. His feet were cold and didn't feel all "snuggly" on that carpet.

'I-I should get g-going...' the man that was once frozen on the couch finally came to life. He shuffled around, picking up his hoodie and belt.

Looking down in shame, he disappeared, and all that was left behind was the faint sound of the door being shut carefully.

The air in the room was tense. Almost like the last second of a race, the audience staring at the person that they were rooting for nervously.

At some point, Yoongi stood up and looked at Haru, wordlessly signalling her that he wanted to leave. She gave him a small nod, and they both walked to the door, putting their shoes on.

'No, no, wait, Yoongi!' Haneul got up hastily, almost tripping as she reached out to grab Yoongi's coat.

She yowled dramatically, her fingers latched strongly and buried in the chunk of material she had fisted. 'P-please... please give me another chance. At least think about it!'

Yoongi's heart was ripped out of his chest by her agonic cries and thrown straight onto the ground, shattering like a fragile piece of glass. He felt a painful tug in his throat, unable to utter a response as his eyes began accumulating salty tears.

His heart was utterly useless, stupid, doltish, helpless. He was hurt from being hurt but also from seeing the woman that had, in fact, hurt him, hurt. 

'He'll think about it. Now, get off and shut up,' Haru replied hostilely in Yoongi's stead, pulling him away. 'Just shut the fuck up and don't do anything.'

With that, the door was slammed shut.

...

The next day Haneul showed up at Yoongi's door, reeking of alcohol and reeling like gelatin. She held herself up against the doorframe, breathing heavily as she looked at the floor.

Her clothes were the same as the previous night. She still wore the same classic, black stiletto heels along with her black blouse and short, leather skirt. Underneath, to protect herself from the winter, she wore a pair of nylon tights.

Yoongi stood frozen, not knowing what to do as Haneul took the chance to peek inside his apartment.

She saw Haru snoring softly on the couch with a blue Sherpa blanket draped over her as her face rested on her elbow. But the thing that really angered Haneul was the fact that she was wearing Yoongi's pyjamas.

'Oh, so now that you ditched me you land her clothes?!?' Ha-Neul growled out, a little too loud for Yoongi's taste. 'Oh, no wait...' she trailed off, chuckling bitterly. 

It's definitely not the first time. She probably comes over here whenever the fuck she wants, meanwhile, I only get to hear about your studio, not see it. You never allow your girlfriend to see your fucking house.'

'I do not believe you are in the position to criticize me right now,' Yoongi replied calmly, refraining himself from slamming the door into her face.

Haneul scoffed, not really knowing what to respond since the piercing pain in her head befogged her thinking. 

'Listen, I still need time. Plus, I don't want to talk to you when you are—' he looked her up and down, almost judgingly, '—in this state.'

'Let me explain...' Haneul sighed. 'He was my ex-boyfriend... the one that was great but got arrested for some reason that I do not know. He got out of prison not too long ago and came to see me. I felt confused and we got carried away, it was a mistake! Please, believe me!'

The rush and exigency in her tone spoke for themselves. Haneul was truly regretful, Yoongi could tell, but did that mean that she was questioning her love for Yoongi? After all, she had admitted that she felt "confused". 

'Alright, Haneul. I believe you.' the man nodded half-heartedly, watching as Haneul smiled drunkenly and lazily. 'But I still need time.' he then watched the grin dissolve off of her face like she knew it was coming. 

'Please, Yoongi! I can't live without you!'  supplicated him Haneul, clinging onto his arm and shaking it.

Yoongi had stated clearly that he needed time. He wanted her to leave, she needed to reflect, and he was just trying to be rational and understanding. Nonetheless, the fight went on and on, but at some point the bloke got tired. Very tired, and vexed, too. 

'Haneul, enough!' and before the man could stop himself, a slap flew to her face.

The two hand't even noticed Haru who had slowly woken up due to the loud screaming coming from the doorway. She was still sleepy. At least until she had heard the reverberating sound of the slap. 

There was a tense silence until Haneul realised that everyone was holding their breath in. She huffed heavily, finally meeting her boyfriend's teary eyes.

It felt like the slap had made all the horrid effects of alcohol vanish and introduced her to the ones of reality instead.

'I am sorry, Yoongi.' she fixed her posture, stumbling a little as she let go of the door and left his apartment.

The lingering footfalls of her stiletto heels hurt, a lot. 

───── ❝ end of f.b. ❞ ─────

He remembered those two days as the worst ones of his life. It was the worst Christmas Eve and Christmas itself ever.

Yoongi wasn't sure why solely the sight of the very same street where he reminisced himself being all smiley, unaware of the soon-to-happen tragedy had made him recall that day.

Truthfully, he often thought about it. And every time he did, he just wanted to run to Haneul and get on his knees to apologise. 

The man was soon snapped out of his thoughts as he noticed her apartment coming into sight. 

He parked his car at his usual spot and went to "Shims' Lily", the flower shop. Mrs Shim wasn't there, she was probably taking a break or something, so he took the time to scan the flowers in the shop.

That day he decided that he would choose something different, something a little more than just "Haneul's favourite flowers".

"Purple Hyacinth: sorrow, regret, I am sorry."

After reading the tag, Yoongi's expression turned into one of pain as he reached to grab the bouquet of flowers, studying them. He nodded approvingly to himself and walked up to the counter, waiting. However, even after seven minutes, no one showed up. 

Since he didn't want to be late to his girlfriend's as usual, he left the money along with a post-it note in one of the drawers of the counter and wrapped the flowers up by himself.

He picked a transparent paper and used a greyish cadet blue string to make an imperfect bow around it. 

Soon afterwards, he had made it to Haneul's apartment and rang the bell. As usual, as she opened the door, he hid the flowers behind his back.

Haneul grinned knowingly, expecting her usual red roses, but was startled to see flowers that she hand't ever seen before. 'Yoongi!' she exclaimed in surprise, 'What are these?'

'I, um, for some reason... I thought about that day and I just can't ever forgive myself for hurting you, no matter what you did,' he explained whilst passing her the flowers.

'The meaning of these is "sorrow, regret, I am sorry". Hence, I am asking of your forgiveness for the millionth time because I can never redeem myself for turning to something so impulsive and awful like violence.'

'Yoongi-ah...' Haneul's eyes became glossy as she quickly placed the flowers on a nearby chair and jumped into Yoongi's arms.

'Gi-ah, I already told you, it's okay. We have both done something terrible to each other! Let's never do that again, okay? I regretted doing that with all of my heart and am afraid of losing you. And for what you did, I have already forgiven you.'

'Sorry for bringing all this up, Neul-ah, today it has just been tormenting me too much for no apparent reason.' he placed her down, moving her hair out of her face before placing a peck on her lips, covered in her usual red lipstick. 

After Yoongi had taken his coat off, the two sat at the balcony where Haneul had set up some snacks along with drinks.

Yoongi served the both of them some Makgeolli, taking a sip afterwards. He reached into his pocket, listening to Haneul's cute ranting about a new girl at university that was getting on her nerves, and took out his lighter along with a cigarette pack.

'So this stuck up girl sat right next to me without even asking. The cold look on her face is so annoying, it was literally written on her forehead: "I am superior to you all peasants". Ugh!' Haneul groaned angrily before the smoke of Yoongi's cigarette began making her cough.

'Sorry,' he murmured, facing the other way to make sure his girlfriend would be unable to inhale the smoke again. 'Well, don't hate her too much. Why do you even care? You don't know her. As long as she doesn't bother you, it should be okay.'

'I know, but the weird thing is that she asked me if I knew my ex...' Ha-Neul fiddled with her fingers uncertainly, scared that Yoongi might not like the theme. And of course, he didn't, but that didn't mean she wasn't allowed to mention it.

'The one that got arrested for some reason you are not aware of?' Yoongi asked, and she nodded. 'Huh? She knows him?'

'Seems like it.' Haneul sighed. 'But whatever, I just told her I knew him and left.'

'Please tell me if she does something that bothers you, even if she just says something stupid,' said Yoongi, his eyes showcasing concern, making Haneul's heart skip a beat.

She nodded as he finished the cigarette and threw it into the ceramic ashtray; Haneul had bought one just for him.

He took another sip of his drink and extended his arms, inviting his girlfriend into a warm hug.

Haneul stood up gleefully and jogged towards him, sneakily taking a seat in his lap, ripping a chuckle from Yoongi's mouth.

'You know, whenever I sit here on the balcony, I can't help but think of the night when we first met.'

Yoongi chortled, 'Me too, Neul-ah, after all, it is the place where we first met.' he looked at the girl down in his lap, 'One of the best, most important and unforgettable night of my life.'

↳ TO BE CONTINUED... ❞

Published date: 11/09/2021.

Word count: 3,406.

—jiminandhisjams