Chapter 2: Convictions & A Duty To Fulfill
After witnessing the destruction of the place they once called home, everyone who made it onto the boat sat in silence or shivered with despair as you all travelled to Wall Rose. While you were sitting still hugging your knees wondering where your father and sister were, your mother began to make noises and stir around. You looked towards her in worry and brought her head onto your lap as she opened her eyes.
"Mom?" You called her as she looked around in a daze before her vision cleared and she looked up to see you.
"Y/N..." She reached for your face and caressed your cheek as you held her hand as it gave you some warmth. "Are you okay?" She asked you.
"Yeah...I'm okay..." You said as she turned her head to look and see she was on a boat with a bunch of scared and despaired people. "Ngh..." She groaned as she tried to push herself up.
"Don't push yourself too hard..." You said as she sat up and against the wall next to you.
"I'll be okay..." She said as she looked to see Eren and Mikasa sat near you two, but grew confused when she didn't see his mother. "Where's Carla...?" She wondered as she looked to find her, but couldn't before she took a closer look to see the traumatized look on his face. "Oh, no...Carla..." She thought as tears streamed from her eyes and she covered her face to silently weep for the loss of her friend.
You looked over at Eren as he cried while gripping his fists tightly before he opened and stared down at his own hands. You looked to see the marks on his skin that indicated he tried to lift something heavy, as there was some scratches on him as well. As a tear fell into the palm of his hand he suddenly shut it tightly as you looked to see a different look on his face as he stood up to head towards the edge of the ship.
"I'll kill them." He said as you watched him jaw-dropped as only you, Armin and Mikasa noticed what he was saying and doing.
"Eren..." Mikasa stood up with worry as you stood up as well.
"What's wrong, Eren?" Armin asked as he tried to place a hand on his shoulder, but Eren shoved it away. "Eren?" He was confused by his friend's actions as Eren grabbed the rail of the ship and looked out to the land.
"I'll kill them all!" He said with fury as you got a closer look and saw the face of hatred he had on his face. "I'll wipe everyone one of them...off the face of this earth!" He said as the fiery rage in his tear streaming eyes could melt any metal it came in contact with.
"Eren..." Was all Armin could mutter as the words he spoke tugged a certain string in your heart you didn't know was there.
After a long ride into Wall Rose, the boat finally made it's journey to the next set of walls where the Garrison was waiting in shock to see how many people had arrived. You were all taken to the town just outside of Trost district, close to the outer gate. Once the ship was stopped and everyone was being let off, your mother and Armin's grandfather ushered the four of you to the refugee area that would house everyone until further instructions could be given to the Garrison and other lord's of the Trost District. Survivors of the attack were given supper, though it was rationed out with a capped limit of goods, meaning everyone only got enough food that would satisfy their needs for the current night. After eating in silence among the rest of the refugee's, the Garrison was able to clear stables and old war houses to be used as temporary housing. Once dusk had fallen over the lands, the Garrison set a curfew for everyone and you all went to sleep where ever you could, with your small group of survivors and a lot of other people sleeping on the cold hard floor. As you all slept, your mother did the best she could to give the four of you kids the motherly warmth that you all probably needed. If one of you tossed around in your sleep, she would whisper calming words into your ears as gently run her fingers through your hair and if need be, she would place your heads on her lap to make you more comfortable for a while. Due to his old age, Armin's grandfather was unable to really keep watch over the children, but this didn't bother your mother as she offered to watch you all for the night. As she did watch you four sleep however, the sound of footsteps walking through the ware house you were in came closer and closer as she looked around in the dark to see who was awake.
"Who's there?" She wondered as she saw two shadowy figures coming towards their direction as she shifted herself to lay in between you four and the two figures approaching as she pretended to sleep.
As she stared through one squinted eye, she was surprised when she saw Grisha Jaeger walk in, followed by an older looking man who wore the crest of the Survey Corps. When they got closer your mother shut her eyes to pretend to be asleep. As she laid there listening to what was happening, she heard them cross pass her and head towards the four of you kids. Upon hearing this, she turned over and groaned in her fake sleep to play it off like she had a bad dream. This made the two men stop for a brief moment before they passed it off like she wanted them to. Opening one eye once more, she watched as Grisha crouched down and lift up his son's head.
"Eren." Grisha called his son's name to try and wake him. "Wake up, Eren. Was your mother not with you?" Grisha asked as Eren groaned and forced his eyes open when he was awoken and recognized his father's voice as he looked at him with a saddened look.
"Dad..." Eren spoke tiredly as Grisha and the other man listened to him. "Mom was...A Titan had...ate her..." He could barely speak, but the words he managed to say reached the two of them as they were both utterly shocked and horrified, with the man behind Grisha dropping to his knees.
Your mother could only had a sad look in her eye as well as she possibly couldn't imagine the emotions that Grisha was going through right now in his silence. However, he didn't remain silent for long as he spoke to Eren in a calm voice surprisingly.
"Eren. Avenge your mother. You must." Grisha said as both the Scout and your mother were shocked and confused by this objective Grisha was giving his son Eren stared up at his father while Grisha gripped his son's shoulders. "I know you can. Let's go." Grisha said as he led Eren off to a side door of the warehouse.
"Wait. Where are you going?" The Scout asked as Grisha took Eren by the hand and the two of them walked out where there was a forest nearby.
"Don't follow us." Grisha said as he and Eren walked into the tree line of the woods, but the soldier followed them out.
"Wait." The soldier persisted as he was suspicious and worried about the boy and what Grisha had intended. "Why don't you just do it? Avenge Carla...Why? Is it because you're special? Unlike me..." The man trailed off as your mother was now stood at the side door wondering what was happening. "What if your kid is different, too? He might not be a chosen one either." The scout spoke as Eren just stared up at his father wondering what was going on. "Right? Are you going to curse... someone else now?" The man asked as Grisha turned towards him with a look of intent seriousness that scared Natalia with the way he looked.
"This child is not like you. He's my son. I beg you. Stay out of it." Grisha said as he stared at the person who was accompanying him before he noticed Natalia staring from the door with worry.
Without changing the look on his face, Grisha placed his hand behind Eren's back and ushered him to the forest while the soldier was left standing there. In worry, Natalia came out and rushed in front of the man looking back and forth between him and where Eren went.
"Hey, where did he take Eren? What was he talking about? Why did he say Eren has to avenge Carla? Hey! Tell me!" Your mother shook the man by the collar of his jacket while the soldier could only stand there in silence wondering what to do. "Damn it!" Natalia scoffed as she broke away from the man and ran off into the forest to search for them.
"H-Hey! Come back!" The soldier chased after her as they ventured out to find where Grisha was taking his child.
As they climbed up and down the terrain of the forest, Natalia marched on despite the tired feeling that was beginning to hit her. As she climbed up a steep climb and rested against a tree to catch her breath, there was a loud crash of thunder in the distance as the two of them saw a bright light off in the forest.
"What was that?" Natalia said in confusion of the sight she had seen.
"Thunder?" The soldier assumed that was the origin of the noise.
"What did you do, grisha?" Natalia thought as she pushed forward and hurried to where Eren was.
After trekking the forest with the moon and stars now overhead, the soldier finally made it to a clearing where he saw Natalia standing still as the moon's light shined down on her. Confused by why she was staring at, he stepped forward and next to her and saw Eren lying on the floor unconscious with a key wrapped in his hand. What Natalia was staring at though was the pool of blood that was spread over the flowers in the clearing, with Grisha's glasses in a spot between the blood and Eren.
"Hey...What's your name...?" Natalia asked as the man turned towards her.
"...Keith..." Was all he could say as he looked at Natalia who's eyes were wide from shock and the amount of blood in front of her.
"Keith...Take Eren and put him back with the other children he was with...I'll figure out how to handle this..." She told him as he stared down at Eren before picking him up and heading back to the camp. "What happened to you...Grisha...?" She wondered as she rolled her sleeves up, crouched to the ground, and began to pick up dirt and move the soil to cover and hide the blood.
After grueling the entire night until dawn covering up the blood and hiking back down, your mother was able to make it back to a water hole where she exhaustedly began to pump out water and wash her hands, arms and parts of her clothes of the dirt and dried blood. The water ran brown and red under her as she had a tired look on her face as scratch marks were left of the dirt and roots she tore through. After cleaning herself up Natalia returned to the warehouse you were sleeping in and walked through the side door to see the four of you sleeping soundly. When her eyes landed on you however, she walked over and laid down next to you, wrapping her arms around you from behind as you seemed to nestle into her warm grasp. She kissed your head and buried her chin into the crevasse of your neck and just laid there with you, cherishing every moment she had with you as she was traumatized and couldn't imagine what Eren would go through if he ever learned about his father. With the sun rising overhead and people beginning to start the day, bells were rung to wake those people who were still asleep as you groaned and weakly opened your eyes.
"Mom?" You called out for her as you felt a hand get placed on your arm.
"I'm right here, sweetie." She said in your ear as you groaned and stretched your arms out. "Wake up the others. They'll be rationing food again and we wanna be first in line. Armin and his grandpa already left to get in line. Hurry up and wake the other two." She said as you looked around and saw people leaving the warehouse and heading outside.
"...So it wasn't a dream..." You muttered in sadness as your mother closed her eyes and shared the same emotions you were feeling.
"I wish it was...I wish it was..." She said as your forced yourself to your feet and headed over to Eren and Mikasa.
Walking over and rubbing your eyes, you crouched down and gently began to shake Mikasa on the arm.
"Mikasa...It's morning..." You said softly said to slowly wake her up. "Mikasa...Mikasa..." You said her name repeatedly and shook her a few more times before stopping as you noticed her eyes beginning to open.
"Hm?" She hummed in confusion as she glanced up towards you. "...Y/N...?" She looked at you as you spoke to her.
"It's morning, we have to get up." You said as she sat up and rubbed her eyes as you walked over to Eren.
As you got closer to Eren, you noticed that something was strung around his neck. Raising a brow you saw that there was a key attached to a piece of string wrapped around his neck, and that he was tossing and turning in his sleep like he was having a bad dream. Mikasa came over and the two of you stared at him in worry for a few moments before Mikasa went over and tried waking him, but Eren woke in a cold-sweat breathing heavily before she could even try.
"Eren, are you okay? You were tossing and turning." She asked as the two of you were on your knees in worry as he sat up and brought his hand to his head.
"I feel like I saw my dad..." He said as Mikasa was confused at Eren.
"That can't be. It was only a dream." She said to him in reassurance as the two of you looked around and saw that the warehouse was completely empty except for you three and your mother who was waiting near the door.
"Was it?" Eren muttered as he rubbed his head before looking down at himself and noticing the key that was wrapped around his neck, hanging around his chest.
"Let's go. They said they're going to distribute food." Mikasa said as the two of you stood up to leave and Eren looked up to see you extending your hand out to help him up.
He tucked the key away in his shirt and took your hand as the three of you followed your mother out of the warehouse and saw people gathered in lines waiting for food, or standing around minding their own business. As the three of you followed your mother, Mikasa spoke up to let you two in on where you were at.
"This was once a food storehouse. They're keeping refugees who fled by ship here." She said as the four of you walked out to a courtyard and the sun made you cover your eyes as Eren was shocked to see how many refugees there were in this storehouse.
Your looked around seeing the Garrison was only handing out bread to the people that were here, and it seemed like they were only giving out one per person. Hearing a ruckus you turned to see two men arguing about cutting in line and how one of them hadn't eaten anything since last night. Seeing this, you knew that things were still going to get tough from here.
"It isn't yet certain that we'll survive." Mikasa spoke about the living conditions you would all have to meet as a voice called out towards your direction.
"Eren! Mikasa! Y/N!" You all turned to see Arming running over with something in his hands.
"Armin..." Eren called his friend's name out as this was the first time seeing him this morning.
"Look..." Armin said as he held out in front of you four loaves of bread, one for each of you. "I got here in time. My grandpa got these for us kids." Armin said as you smiled when you heard the nice deed they did for you.
"Thank you." Mikasa said as she graciously accepted the offer.
"Thanks, Armin." You said as you took your bread and he handed Eren one who was still taking in the entire situation.
"Thank you, Armin. I'll go find your grandpa and wait with him in line." Your mother said as she patted him on the head while walking off to find his grandfather.
As she left though, Eren noticed someone standing behind Armin and soon he noticed as well as he turned around and saw a Garrison soldier looking down at them with an annoyed look on his face. The soldier turned away and scoffed at the sight of you four before walking away as Eren seemed bothered by his behavior.
"What's his problem?" Eren asked in confusion and defense.
"There's nothing we can do...I don't think there's enough food for everyone. They say that's all we get today. There are too many refugees. And not enough food to begin with. You know the farther out you live, the less they care, right?" Armin explained as Eren stared down at the only piece of food they would be getting for the time being as a fight was breaking out over food between four men and two soldiers, one being the one who scoffed at you four, and another Garrison soldier glared at the fight.
"Why do we have to share our food with outsiders?" The soldier who scoffed at you four said in annoyance as you all overheard him. "If the Titans were breaking through anyway, they should have eaten more, so there'd be fewer mouths." He spoke in spite of not being quiet around the refugees as you were all shocked by his comment and Eren stormed off towards him in anger.
"Eren!" Armin yelled in worry as you followed and tried to stop him.
"Now there's just that much less food." The soldier said in annoyance as Eren was about to walk up and kick him, but before he could, a hand came out of nowhere and slapped the bad-mouthing soldier across the face as you and Eren were surprised and stopped.
Looking over, you turned to see your mother had come from nowhere and slapped the man across the face with a furious look and her teeth gritted. She glared at the man as he winced and rubbed his cheek.
"Ow! What are you doing, lady!?" The soldier yelled as he raised his hand to her, but in an instant, she kicked the man right between the legs and in the groin as he groaned in a high pitch and slowly dropped to his knees. "Gngh...! Ngh!" He breathed sporadically as your mother stood over him.
"How dare you talk as if our lives are meaningless here. We've been uprooted from our homes and came here hoping we could trust our fellow human beings to keep us safe and provide support for us. You have no idea...!" She said as she force the man to look up at her. "You've never even seen it! The way those things eat people..." She said with a terrifying look on her face as she threw his face away from her and he hit his head on the ground as she glared at the other soldier who glared back at her.
"Damn you..." He snarled his words at her as she didn't back down and instead moved towards his face.
"I can report this to your commanding officer and file a report with the Military Police. There's a lot of witnesses here, also. Two Garrison officers wishing for the deaths of fellow humans wouldn't look good on your reports, would it? We're all human beings, so let's try and get along before we start deciding who to throw at the Titans first, and by my guess, I wouldn't be on some high horse." She said as the soldier bit his tongue in frustration as she was right and couldn't raise a hand to her as she walked off towards you two. "You two, go back to Mikasa and Armin, now." She said as you both were speechless from the scene she displayed. "Now." She said in a more serious tone as the two of you immediately backed off and you pulled Eren back towards Mikasa and Armin while she left to find Armin's grandfather again, and the two soldiers were left there in embarrassment.
As the four of you went back to stand in a open hallway off to the side, you and Eren were sat on the small brick wall as Mikasa and Armin were stood in front of you.
"I'm going back to Wall Maria." You heard come out from Eren's mouth as you were eating bread and nearly choked and coughed. "I'm going to kill all the Titans!" He said as you finally caught your breath and stared at him in shock while Armin spoke up.
"Eren, you aren't serious, are you?" Armin said trying to talk Eren down, but he stood up instead.
"I am serious!" He said as you and Armin were surprised by the tone he was speaking in. "I'm not like them, sitting inside the walls and acting tough! I don't need this!" He yelled while throwing his piece of bread at Armin who could barely react and catch it to keep it from dropping.
"Eren, you'll starve!" Armin tried to make Eren rethink himself about the food that was graciously handed to him.
"Hey, they got that for us. The least you could do is accept it..." You spoke in a bit of a timid voice as Eren walked up to Armin.
"This doesn't bother you!? We can't win until we can stop depending on stuff from them!" Eren said trying to strengthen his point of fighting back.
"It's impossible! We can't beat the Titans, anyway. There's nothing we can do but live within the walls...If you do something dumb, you'll die. Like my mom and dad!" Armin tried reasoning with Eren.
"So we should suck up to them instead? Aren't you ashamed?" Eren said in denial of choosing to depend on someone else.
"Right now...Right now, there's no choice!" Armin yelled back.
"That's just an excuse! Then spend the rest of your life as cattle, wekaling!" Eren yelled in fury as Armin was visibly effected by his words.
"Will you two just stop--!" You were cut off when you saw Mikasa head right towards Eren.
Out of nowhere, Mikasa used her right fist and socked Eren across the face as he toppled to the ground like a falling log. You and Armin were completely shocked by her actions as you stared at her and she just looked down at Eren.
"Mikasa?" Was all Armin could get out from his mouth as you were astonished that Mikasa would actually hit Eren like that and she lowered her fist.
The three of you turned towards Eren with saddened looks as he laid there on the ground. As he laid there, Mikasa spoke her mind for him to hear.
"If Armin is a weakling, so are we. We didn't even run from the Titans or from the city on our own two feet. We couldn't even get the food we're eating today without help. Anyone so weak couldn't possibly defeat a single Titan..." She said as Eren sat back up in shock of what she was saying before turning away in frustration. "What matters is survival. Just like your mother said. Just like how Y/N's mother is trying to keep us all together." Mikasa said as she walked pass Armin while taking the bread from him, stopping in front of Eren and shoving it into his mouth, force feeding him.
"Mikasa..." Armin wanted to stop her, but you held out your arm in front of him, signaling to not get in the way, as you knew what she was saying was right.
"Eat...And survive! I will not let you starve." She said as Eren had tears forming in his eyes as the tears of frustration streamed out and he was letting everything in him out while having to eat the bread.
You felt sorry for Eren as you shut your eyes in frustration as this was what the world had now come to. The frustration of losing your home and not being able to even stand and fight back for it, and a constant struggle to survive through the hard and trying times. Several days later after that day, you refugees were sent in droves to till the wastelands, to bring in more food. But even still, there wasn't enough, and in the following year of 846, the central government used many refugees in an operation ostensibly to recover Wall Maria, Armin's grandfather was unfortunately a part of that operation, leaving only the four of you and your mother. Two hundred and fifty thousand, in all...Approximately twenty percent of the population. But there were only just over a hundred survivors. Their sacrifice alleviated the food shortage for the rest of you all for as much as it could have. Once news had returned that there was so little survivors, and your mother couldn't find Armin's grandfather among them, you, Eren, and Mikasa were all sitting under a light of the storehouse as Armin sat against the wall hugging and weeping on his grandfather's hat. You hated the sight of your friend going through the loss of his final family member, and sat down next to him while wrapping an arm around him trying your best to console him.
"It's all because of the Titans. If we destroy them, we can retake our home!" Eren said as he sat down next to Armin as he seemed to be calming down at the moment. "Armin...I'm enlisting next year." He said as Armin turned towards him in surprise of what he said.
"Me too..." You said as Armin turned towards you. "I'm tired of seeing people lose their loved ones to those monsters...I'll fight, too..." You said as you clenched your right fists tightly.
"I'll gain the power to fight Titans!" Eren said as Armin stared at his grandfather's hat for a moment before speaking up.
"Me, too." Armin said as you and Eren were both shocked.
"Armin?" Eren said in surprise of his friend's response.
"What are you saying?" You said in disbelief of the Armin you knew.
"Me, too!" Armin said with a determination to avenge his grandfather and grow stronger along with you all.
"I'll go, as well." Mikasa said as Eren looked towards her in shock of what she was saying, despite her opinion of the entire thing before.
"Mikasa, you don't have to...Didn't you say that it's important to survive?" Eren asked as Mikasa looked at Eren unnerved by her decision.
"That's right. So I'll go, to keep you from dying." Mikasa said as you fell silent for a moment before Eren stood up in the middle to speak.
"All right. The four of us." Eren said as you and Armin stood up and the four of you took a look at yourselves as this was the end to your life as just civilians, and the beginning to becoming stronger than you could have ever thought of.
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Year 847, Wall Rose
Dawn
Play Song At Top (Attack on Titan OST score XL-TT Part B Orchestral/Violin only)
In a small home that was located a little closer to the center of Wall Rose, Natalila slept soundly in a bed as the light from the sun began to shine down through her window, but not directly on her. As she slept in her bed, the sound of the floorboards creaking from the other side of her door could be heard as she slowly opened her eyes from hearing the noise and woke up. As she sat up in bed, a solemn look befell her face as she turned and stood up before opening the door and looking to her right. When she walked out of her room, she came face to face with Eren, Armin and Mikasa trying to head out the house. They were all much taller than before and their faces matured so much after leaving Wall Maria. The three of them were silent and didn't what to say to your mother as they held large brown bags in their hands, however, another voice spoke up.
"If you're going to try and talk us out of it, I'm sorry..." Your mother turned around and her son who had grown so much in the past three years, much more than she anticipated. "We made our choice to not stand down in fear of those monsters..." You said as your mother took a good look at you.
You were standing in the hallway of your home wearing a black shirt and grey pants with a brown bag slung over your shoulder. Your hair remained short, but your body had grown and been molded into the physique you knew you would need in order to pass and excel in whatever the military would throw at you. The same went for the others, except Mikasa who let her hair grown to a shoulder's length. As she stood there, you mother brushed some strands of hair out of her face before speaking.
"I've done my best trying to raise you four into fine adults...I honestly hoped I had led you all off the path of joining something so dangerous, but I should've known I was playing a fool's game..." Your mother said as she walked back into her room and you walked towards her door as you watched her head to a wardrobe and rustle through a box of things. "...I promised your father that ever since you were born, I'd do nothing but support you and try to lead you down the path of a peaceful life, but I should've known better than to try and manipulate your future. You have your father's blood running through your veins, and he's always had this courageous, yet dangerous sense for adventure." She said as she pulled something out and walked over to you before handing you something.
Looking down, in her hand you saw she had two rings in her palm as you recognized these as your mother and father's wedding rings. You looked her in the eye as she took your hand placed her ring on your ring finger, while your father's ring went on your middle finger. She kissed the middle ring before leaning up and kissing your cheek.
"You're father always left it when he went off on expeditions for the Survey Corps. He told me that he would always be with me if I wore his ring while he was gone, and that it would give him good luck." She said as she caressed your cheek. "If you're going to follow this path you've set out for yourself, then I'll support you all the way. Your father and sister went missing that day and we've never seen them since. I don't believe they're dead, but it's starting to get harder and harder to keep having faith. That's why you have to promise me. All of you..." She said as she walked out of the door and looked at the four of you with tears in her eyes. "...My babies...please..." She began to choke up as she turned and hugged you tightly. "...Come home to me..." She said while weeping as wrapped your arms around your mother reassuringly.
"Yeah..." You said as she pulled away and looked you in the eye to see the burning passion that your father had in his eyes as well. "...No matter what, we're all coming back to you...Mom..." You said as you took your things and walked pass her to join Eren and the other two.
As you walked pass your friends and went out the door, you suddenly stopped in the doorway as they all stared at you.
"Y/N?" Armin tried to get your attention as you turned back to look at your mother for the last time until the next time you're destined to reunite.
"I love you. Thank you for everything you've done for us. It's time we pay you and everyone else back by reclaiming our home." You said to her as the four of you headed out the door while Natalia watched the children she raised for three years on her own leave the nest, starting their military lives.
"Take care..." Your mother said as she watched her son go off and carve his own path, choosing to stand for humanity and fight back the not only the Titans, but the cruelness and harshness of this world that has taken so much from so many.
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