"Do me a favour and ask if you need some help. She said 'do me a favour and stop flattering yourself'. To tear apart the ties that bind, perhaps 'fuck off' might be to kind. Perhaps 'fuck off' might be too kind."

I want to be there for my friends but I feel like I never truly am and that makes me feel awful. I want to help them but I always somehow end up pushing them away in the worst of ways. I don't mean to lose contact with them for days and not respond to there texts. I'm not a good person. I know that. I've accepted it. I sometimes wish I could just be a little bit better though.