"The good news is, the bullet didn't hit his heart.  However, the impact of the bullet did essentially create what you may call a shockwave. His heart, in part, was along the radius of this 'shockwave' and caused him to fall into this unconscious state you see him in now.  We can't tell for sure when or if he'll wake up, unfortunately.  We are taking good care of him as best we can, but I'm afraid all we can do now is simply just wait and pray," The doctor frowned.

Lydia's eyes widened with each word.  It was as if each sentence uttered from the man's mouth was a punch to the gut.

She couldn't handle losing him.  She felt as if she would collapse at any moment.  She needed to sit down, she couldn't hold herself up because she felt as if her world was crumbling beneath her with every fleeting moment that passed.

"Does Finn have any family members we can call and notify about the situation?" The doctor asked; Lydia could barely hear him. Her eyes were blurring and she, quite frankly, felt as if she was going to faint.

"No," Lydia gulped thinking of Finn's father. She remembered when Amber was alive and how much she used to love Finn's father. He was always so loving and care-free. She had known that Amber's death hit him hard, but she had no idea it made him into the monster under Finn's bed.

Her nose scrunched, a sudden distaste overcoming her senses. Her mouth suddenly felt sour at the mere thought of him.

Lydia didn't know what to do; She didn't know who to go to. Finn's family was no help to her at this point and she couldn't bring herself to fully believe she was the only one there for Finn in such dire times.

"When can I see him?" Lydia suddenly asked causing the doctor to turn with eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

"Oh, you should be able to visit him in about an hour. They're still checking his vitals, making sure everything is okay for him." Lydia frowned before maneuvering her way through the hall to sit in a blue plush seat next to the door of Finn's room

'116'

Lydia stared at the numbers in disgust, watching as the bright hospital light from above made the metal of the numbers shine and glare bright white.

Everything about the hospital made Lydia sick. Her stomach was turning in abnormal ways and it made her feel utterly vile.

She gulped, the salvia going down her throat like lava, burning her tongue as it slipped down. Her vision was still blurry and the tears that stained her cheeks were still glistening off the surface from the light. Her eyes still red with water as she tried with everything in her not to break down.

All she wanted to do was fall to the ground and cry. Let her knees crumble beneath her before tumbling to floor in pain: Pain, anger, sadness, and guilt. So many emotions were flooding her body that it felt like her body was going to burst.

And that's when it happened.

A tear slipped from her eyes before she let out a choked sob, covering her mouth with her hand.

She was going to lose him.

And there's nothing she could do.

She could've prevented this and she didn't. She wanted to kick herself in the ass for not going to the cops right away.

Why the hell had she not done that?

Maybe the fear in Finn's eyes when she mentioned locking his father away. Or maybe it was just the pure thought of Finn being angry at her that sent her into a pit of fear.

But she didn't do it, and now she would pay the price.

Tears streamed down her face, letting out sobs that sounded like cries for help as they slipped down her red tinted cheeks.

She couldn't believe this was happening. He might die and she couldn't bring herself to see that. If he didn't make it out alive, she would never forgive herself. She would be sent into a maelstrom of pain.

She wasn't ready. 

She never would be.

Lydia tried to think back on how she had put herself in such situation. All the events piling on top of one another, building taller, and taller, and suddenly it seemed to have collapsed from the base.

There were so many signs that her friend was in trouble, that her friend was being abused. But she never took them and she definitely wanted to kick herself in the ass for it.

How could she have missed it?

She couldn't help but feel the blame setting on her like a weight pinning down her shoulders. Finn was there for Lydia when she needed him most, now he might die and she would never be able to tell him all the things that she never got the chance to spit out.

The doctor said all she could do was just wait and pray, but how could she just sit there and cling to the one little strand of hope that her friend would pull through the bloody mess he was never supposed to be entangled in to begin with.

All Lydia wanted to do was scream in frustration. Scream until the anger that seemed to boil in her veins finally fizzled away. Scream until her lungs couldn't take the burning sensation any longer and caused her throat to run dry with lack of voice. Scream until all the guilt that was piled in her heart washed away.

"Ma'am, his condition probably won't change anytime soon, so go home, get some rest, we'll call you if he is wakes." A nurse suddenly emerged from the room making Lydia jump.

Lydia stared at her, not fully comprehending what she had said.  Lost in her own thoughts, Lydia slowly turn away wondering how she would sort the whole situation out in her mind.

Finn, her best friend was shot.  The closest person to her was shot, by his own father.  That had, in fact, been abusing him for years and Lydia never realized because she was too oblivious to see it.  Finn, her best friend,  who was shot, abused, and could possibly die all because Lydia refused to see the darkness within people.

Lydia couldn't help but blame herself,  who else was there to blame.  She could sit and blame Finn's father because yes,  he was a horrible man, but if Lydia had noticed the sadness lurking beneath his eyes and informed the authorities or someone sooner she could've helped Finn before the abuse got worse. 

Before it broke down his self esteem.  Before it broke every bit of happiness left in his life.  Before it broke his will to live.

Her heart was beating a mile per minute in her chest as it thumped against her rib cage.
Too much information was swirling around in her head at once and her brain couldn't handle all of it.  It all seemed to cluster in her mind and it was about ready to pop like a bubble.

Her heart couldn't handle it.

"I have to go," Lydia exasperated before letting out a long breath and turning towards the door.

Lydia knew exactly who to talk to in times such as these. The one person that she'd always run to for help when she didn't want to bother Finn with her problems:

Her brother.

He always somehow knew exactly what to say to her to make her do the right thing. It might not always be the action she wanted to do, but it was always right. He had sort of "a niche" for that. He was good at separating right from wrong and his morals were always good.

He would know what to tell Lydia in this situation, he has too.

She knew exactly where he was at this point and knew exactly how to find him. He was her brother, Lydia believed they were bonded through blood for a reason.

The car ride was silent as Lydia sat in the leather seats that had been torn from years of slipping in and out of the vehicle. Her knuckles white with irritation and the weather oddly colder with every passing minute. 

Lydia now wore a red sweater that she had 'borrowed' from Finn years ago, he never seemed to mention it as a matter of fact.

The car strolled down the street as it started to bloom with life.  It was almost spring and the coldness of the winter was already showing signs of disperse.

But Lydia still felt a cold shiver run down her spine.  Goosebumps rose on her skin as she drove past the house that surely would be in her nightmares from that day forward.

The radio played dimly in the background, creating a somewhat eerie sensation throughout Lydia's car.

"And it looks like it's going to be beautiful day.  Though there is going to be some chilly wind coming up the eastern front, mainly sunshine throughout-" Lydia suddenly tapped the radio off with the push of her pointer finger.

Her eyes brows furrowed in sudden anger.  It wasn't a beautiful day.  It wasn't even decent.  Because as nature thrived and grew, evoking a sense of happiness within anyone, all Lydia could think of was if Finn was going to make it so that they could share spring together.

Lydia felt the familiar pang of gut wrenching guilt twist in her stomach.  Her hand landed on her stomach, clenching uncontrollably.  Lydia felt utterly sick for the second time that day and all she wanted to do was double over and rid all the guilt from within her.

This was her fault.

She didn't say anything when she had the chance.

And this was her consequence.

Lydia's ankle tilted forward, slowly pushing harder on the gas, speeding down the neighborhood road.

Lydia knew it was wrong to let her emotions take over. 

But she didn't know what else to do.

Finn was always the one to think with his brain.  He was the one to always think things through and logically.

But Lydia, she was an emotional thinker.  She did what her heart told her to do no matter what it was, without thinking of the consequences. 

That's why they were best friends.  They balanced each other and together they always found equilibrium between the one another.

But what if Finn never woke up?

Lydia would have no one to stop her from acting on impulse.  From doing things in the moment. 

From getting herself in trouble.

Lydia was suddenly snapped out of her thoughts with a loud, ear-splitting scream.

Her foot immediately slammed onto the break of the car causing the whole vehicle to bounce forward in an abnormal amount of force.

Lydia immediately rushed out of the car and onto the road looking at the ground in front of her headlights, trying so desperately to make sure she didn't hurt anyone.

A small child had run out into the road and stood frozen about one foot away from the car. She clenched her small basket ball, that had obviously rolled into the road, tightly against her chest.

A sense of relief washed over Lydia sending her emotions into a flurry.

Why the hell was she driving so recklessly? She was speeding down a neighborhood road and she knew it was dangerous. But once again she let her emotion overcome her and take over her mind. She couldn't think straight and she had almost hit a child because of it.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Lydia crouched down making sure the petite girl wasn't injured, checking for any bruises.

Lydia could have questioned "where the hell are her parents?" Why would they let her out here all by herself to possibly get hurt in the middle of a street?

But Lydia, as always, didn't think of the possibility of parents neglecting their child. She only thought of the fact that she was speeding down a neighborhood road and the whole scenario was all, and only, her fault for that very reason.

Blaming herself was always something Lydia tended to do.

And she refused to think otherwise.