WARNING*- Mature content, including vulgar language, talks/ attempts of suicide, and trigger themes.

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"I'm only human, and I bleed when I fall down."

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The autumn air was cool, dusty, and it made Finn's nose stuffy, all he wanted was a tissue at the moment.

The leaves fell in a variety of shapes and colors ranging from red to orange to yellow with specs of green showing that the summer wasn't quite gone yet. Leaves scattered the ground as Finn sprinted towards the shed that stood at the back of his home.

Finn's breath was heavy with exhaustion as he slid behind the shed between the wall and a bush with a small rusty fence that had moss growing in the corners.

Mud covered Finn's jeans but he couldn't think about that, all he could think about were the words that escaped Lydia's mouth only mere seconds later. "Ready or not here I come." Lydia screamed from behind the screen door inside the house. Footsteps were heard pattering on the deck. They became louder and louder with each step and Finn found his breath becoming heavier and heavier as she walked.

Finn needed to think of a new hiding place fast because only an amateur at hide & seek would hide behind the shed of all places.

Finn's eyes frantically scanned the small space behind the shed. There wasn't many places he could go without exposing himself to Lydia. But a flicker of light caught Finn's eyes. The sunlight filtered through a small space in the leaves of the bush.

And Finn noticed that when he listened a little harder and blocked out the footsteps that echoed through his head he could hear a small stream of water running.

So, Finn pulled his hoodie over his head before slowly lifting up his hand and pushing the leaves away. Finn's furrowed eyebrows suddenly pulled away as a smile appeared on his face.

Because behind that small bush was a lake so blue that it made Finn's features turn in awe. The sunlight reflected off the lake making it shimmer in sparkles of gold. The water looked like something from a movie and all Finn could do was stare. He knew he'd be found but Finn couldn't move.

The trees blew in the cool wind and the water swooshed and swayed with it. The water ran down a hill from the far left all the way across the land making a cool mist float through the air.

"Finn! I found yo-... woah. This is beautiful." Lydia spoke as she brushed the leaves aside and stepped into the clearing.

"Well come on," Lydia spoke after a long pause. Lydia ran towards the water pulling her shirt off in the process.

"What?" Finn screeched his voice slightly cracking at the sight of Lydia in a sports bra.

"We're going swimming." Lydia smiled before jumping in the water making the water explode and splash as drops of water sprinkled onto Finn's favorite hoodie.

"I didn't know you could swim." Finn tried anything not to make him get in the water.

"You don't know a lot of things about me Finn," Lydia smirked before giggling making Finn roll his eyes.

"I thought I knew everything about you," Finn smiled as Lydia shook her head.

"Sometimes you don't really know someone until you look a little closer," Lydia smirked. "Now come on," Lydia yelled before Finn gave up and threw off his shirt before jumping in to the water.

~•~•~•~

Finn's head still hurt like hell but the tears that streamed down his face no longer ran. His hands were still soaked in blood and for a moment Finn didn't feel a thing. 

So as Finn went numb he settled into the tiny spot behind the shed, his eyes slowly sliding shut.

But right as Finn was about to fall into a deep slumber the sound of water streaming caught his attention.

Finn hadn't gone back to the lake in a long time.  Ever since his sister died Finn didn't do much of anything he used to do.

Remembering the small place that he and Lydia used to come to, he pulled back the leaves to reveal the sparkling lake.

The water was calm and still, and all Finn could do was smile thinking of the time he spent with Lydia meeting at the small clearing at the lake.

He could still feel the blood pooling at the top of his head.  And as he knelt down, Finn scooped the water in his hands.  The water swished and filtered through the cracks of his fingers before Finn scooped some more water and poured it on the top of his head.

The water was cold, but as the cool liquid hit his raw skin a burning sensation ran through his skull.  Finn hissed in pain before sitting down on the cold muddy ground, the grass surrounding his feet tickled his skin.

Time stood still as Finn sat at the lake remembering the time he spent as a child with Lydia.  He remember swimming and playing hide & seek by the bush.  He remembered Lydia's laugh and how happy he used to be.  And all he could wish for was to be that young and innocent again.

"Finn?" Finn jumped a little fearing his father had come back, but when he realized the voice was soft and warm he knew it wasn't his father.

"Lydia?" Finn's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as Lydia stepped out from behind a tree.

"What are you doing here?" Finn asked wondering why she was at the clearing in the middle of the night.

"I come here every night," Lydia smiled with her hair cascading down her back and large t-shirt draped over her body and hung off her shoulder.

After a long pause Lydia's smile suddenly faded as she stumbled towards Finn. "What happened to you?"

"Oh, it's nothing." Finn said moving his head away from Lydia.  Lydia grabbed Finn's head gently before slowly pulling him towards her.

"Did he do this to you?" Lydia asked causing Finn to silently nod in shame.

Finn felt ashamed; he felt ashamed that his own father would do such a thing to him. But most of all Finn felt angry.  Angry that his own parent, the one person in the world who was suppose to protect him, was the one that hurt him the most.

"Finn you need to get help," Lydia said tears pooling at her eyes.

"Lydia you don't understand.  I can't.  He's my father." Finn sighed as he slowly shook his head. "Sometimes I think I'm just stupid to think that he's still my father."

"No, no Finn. You have hope. And sometimes that's all we have left." Lydia spoke and Finn knew she was trying to hold back a sob.

"It's just that, for years I thought maybe my dad was still in there. But I think I was wrong as always.  I hoped for something that would never happen just like I always do." Finn spoke words that he wished Lydia knew the meaning behind but he knew Lydia, and Lydia just nodded her head not even daring to ask what he meant.

"I can't do this anymore," Finn sighed tears threatening to spill in his eyes.
"I'm just a person," he whispered making Lydia's heart shatter.

"You're human," Lydia spoke making Finn avert his eyes towards Lydia.

"And humans, they bleed, they laugh, they love, and they fight. They fight to see another day." Lydia took a breath as her voice cracked slightly from a voice that was so low, but not quite a whisper.

"Do you know why people are scared of death?" Lydia asked suddenly making Finn shake his head in confusion. "Well people aren't scared of the pain that comes with death.  No, they're scared of their memory.  Because people die twice, once when you utter your last breath and the second is when your name is uttered for the last time.  It's a quote by Banksy.  The fear of you being forgotten.  The fear of life moving on without you in it."

"I don't have that fear," Finn smirked making Lydia chuckle.

"Finn, you didn't get the point. The point was that your memory would live on forever with me.  Because if you die I would never forget you.  Please don't put me through that kind of pain." Lydia spoke before her lips flattened trying to suppress her tears.

Finn was speechless. He was utterly and completely speechless.  Finn could feel the words bubbling at his throat but his tongue ran dry and his voice never came.  So, Finn sat and just smiled at Lydia because she never seized to make him smile.

And Lydia smiled back knowing that she cracked him. She had finally cracked Finn of his suicidal thoughts.  Because in that moment Finn saw the meaning in life.  And although Lydia was a big part of his meaning, she had taught him that there was so much more. 

There was so much more to life than just love.  Finn didn't want to die.  He wanted to be free and he knew Lydia was the key to finding it.

"Thank you," Finn sighed before smiling at Lydia to which she spilled a small laugh with tears in her eyes and a smile on her lips.

"Finn, you've gotten me through the worst times in my life.  Now it's my turn." Lydia smiled taking Finn's hand in hers.

Her hand was warm in Finn's cold one and it made him feel warm inside. The night air was cool and his blood ran with frost in his veins but Finn hadn't felt this warm in years. 

The lake was calm and blue and it reflected the stars from the night sky perfectly.  The grass tickled his hands as Finn leant back with Lydia's smile in his eyes.  The mud on the ground dug into his fingernails and soaked into his pores but Finn didn't care.

The cut on his head still burnt like hell but Finn didn't mind.  And as blood still stained his hands and soaked the back of his shirt, he smiled a little.

"Sometimes you don't really know someone until you look a little closer."

And Finn knew deep down that Lydia's words were right.  Because Finn could go days without sleeping, he could come to school, bite his tongue and fake a smile, but there was no stopping the pain that bled through his veins and leaked through his pores.

And at the end of the day when all else had fallen to ash and Finn's world had crumbled at the seams he looked to Lydia.  He looked to her for safety and light.  Lydia built Finn up when everything fell apart.

Because Finn was human.

He bled.

He crumbled.

He cried.

He laughed.

He loved.

And Finn needed Lydia to show him how to live.

~•~•~•~

This chapter is inspired by the song 'Human' by Christina Perry because I listened to it the entire time I wrote this. xD Also, this chapter is dedicated to aaronics- because she gave me virtual food for completing 500 words and she made the amazing cover at the beginning of the chapter. Thank you for that!!!!! <3333 And she made this one too! Don't worry about the author's name it's an inside joke. XD

So as I said in the last chapter, it is summer now which means I will (hopefully) be updating a lot more. Both Lydia and Terminal Chaos updates will be frequently (as I said hopefully) mostly for Lydia though because of reasons that I'll get to.

If you guys have any questions about the book or anything, or even if you just want to talk about the many tv shows I'm obsessed with just DM me and I'll probably get back to you in the matter of hours because I'm on my phone all the time. hehe

Also, BIG NEWS: I will be entering Lydia into the Watty's this year!!!!!!!!!!

I probably won't win because I'm up against so many amazing authors, but fingers crossed that a miracle happens! I'll be adding the tag to my story after I get a few more chapters done to give my story a better chance so hopefully I'll be writing a lot more for many reasons including that one.

Thank you for reading!!!

~ moe