WARNING*- Mature content, including vulgar language, talks/ attempts of suicide, and trigger themes.

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Finn slowly set the photo down back on the ledge of the fire place. With tears threatening to spill and a shaky breath he stepped away from the spot he once stood.

Finn wanted to break down; he wanted so badly just to kneel down and cry. Cry until there were no tears left. Cry until his cheeks were stained in salt water and saliva clog his throat. Finn could feel the tears welling in his eyelids as his vision started to blur.

It didn't snow much in the small town in Georgia. The blizzard of 96 was huge and it covered the ground with blankets and blankets of snow. Powdery flakes of snow stuck to Finn's hair that day and Finn could remember vividly the cold that snuck its way through the cracks of Finn's jacket and caused goosebumps to rise on his skin.

Finn remembered the smile that graced Lydia's face and he remember the giggle that floated through the winter air that escaped Lydia's lips like it was yesterday. But thinking about the whole day, not just Lydia's giggle. The whole day felt like it was ages ago; like the day was so far gone that Finn struggled to remember the color of his sister's hair or the shade of his mother's iris's.

But before Finn could break down and cry because of the lost memories of the past the distant sound of the doorbell stopped him. Finn slowly looked up from the wooden floor towards the front door with furrowed eyebrows.

Finn stepped towards the door before swinging it open, his eyes widened.

Lydia stood there on the concrete steps with a small smile. She wore a hoodie the color of the sunset when it dripped into the dark of the purplish pink and jeans that looked old and torn. Her lips were pulled into a small smile that looked some what forced, but Finn wouldn't have noticed if it wasn't for the small tear that slid down her eyes leaving a trail of salt water in its wake.

"Lydia?" Finn barely whispered with a frown etched on his face. Lydia looked to the side, trying her best to hide the tears that spilled down her cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" Finn spoke again before she quickly turned to him with lips flattened into a line and eyes glossy with tears.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked quietly with a groggy, shaky voice.

"Lydia, I don't know what you're talking about," Finn said holding the door open so she could step inside. Lydia nodded her head before stepping in after Finn to which he shut the door gently behind her.

"Why didn't you tell me that you're father hits you?" Lydia suddenly asked now looking directly into Finn's eyes.

Finn was speechless he didn't think she'd ever find out. Although she saw the cuts and bruises on his arms the day she stopped him from...well.

Lydia hadn't mentioned anything about it making Finn think that she had just not noticed it while being overwhelmed with the thought that her best friend tried to take his own life.

"I was going too..." Finn started but quickly realized that that was a lie on its own. Lydia shook her head frantically before opening her mouth to speak.

"How could I have not known. I mean the cuts and bruises on your arms I thought you had done to yourself, but then I realized that you would never intently hurt yourself with a blade because your irrational fear of knives." Lydia stated as Finn nodded knowing he'd never come near himself with a blade.

"And I wondered how you could've punched yourself because that just seemed quite bizarre." Lydia paused with a confused expression etched on her face. "But then I remembered that you once told me that when you're mother and sister died your father was never the same, I didn't know what that meant until now."

"I'm sorry Lydia," Finn stated making Lydia shake her head once more.

"Why are you apologizing for being abused. No one should ever have to go through that." Lydia stated firmly choking on a sob in the process as her lips trembled.

"I mean I'm hurt because I thought we were best friends and I thought you told me everything." Lydia choked on another sobs and all Finn could do was stand still and watch her cry. "Why didn't you tell me or anyone, you could've gotten help. Someone could've helped you. I could've help you." Lydia looked directly at Finn now instead of at the ground and her voice was no longer strained and shaky but firm and clear.

"I'm sorry," Finn mumbled barely above a whisper. Finn averted his eyes from Lydia towards the wooden floor.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so stupid that I didn't even see that you were hurt. I'm sorry for being so stupid that I couldn't even see that my best friend wasn't happy and that he wanted to kill himself." Lydia snapped. But the venom laced through her voice wasn't directed at Finn. Because when Finn noticed this his eyebrows furrowed knowing that Lydia's words were directed at herself.

Lydia felt like it was her fault that Finn had to endure so much pain for so long because she didn't notice. Because she didn't notice that Finn wasn't happy. Because she didn't notice that Finn wanted to end it all.

"Lydia it's not you're fault," Finn stated reaching out his hand towards her. Finn wanted to feel the only thing he could possibly remember from that cold winter day; the warmth he felt when he held Lydia's hand.

Lydia sniffled as Finn took her hand, the familiar warmth spread through Finn's veins. But right as he took her hand in his Lydia turned and wrapped her small arms around Finn's neck. She hugged him with all her strength. Like it was the last time she would ever hug him.

Moments passed and Finn wrapped his arms around Lydia waist and rested his chin in the crook of her neck. Lydia's tears trailed down her cheeks and onto Finn's t-shirt, but he didn't mind because he was holding the woman he loved.

And that was all that mattered.

Lydia still had her head buried in the crook of Finn's neck before she spoke again,  "You have to tell them."

"What?" Finn pulled away wanting so badly to never let go.

"You have to tell the police." Lydia sniffled before Finn shook his head.  "Y-you have to tell them.  You have to." Lydia said frantically as Finn's eyes widened and his head shook along with her words.

Lydia's eyebrows furrowed in confusion wondering why Finn wouldn't want to lock up the man that brought him so much pain.  But Lydia didn't realize that Finn's situations was way more complicated then it seemed.

Finn, no matter how hard he tried not to, loved his father.  He loved the man that he used to be with his sister and him.  He loved the man that came home with a smile and greeted his wife with a kiss.  Finn believed that that man was still there, buried deep inside the monster that he became.

Finn couldn't send his own family to jail. 

He just couldn't.

"What do you mean no?" Lydia stepped back eyebrows furrowed and lips still trembling as her small hand slipped from his, suddenly leaving Finn cold.

"I can't send my father jail.  H-he's my only family. I just can't do that." Finn whispered the last sentence making Lydia shake her head even more.

"I don't understand," Lydia looked down on the wooden floor beneath her still shaking her head, but now at a slower pace.  "I don't get it.  He's is not your family anymore.  He stopped being so the moment he first hit you.  You can't let him walk free for the horrible things he's done to you." Lydia spat venom now laced in her voice, anger building at merely thinking of Finn's father.

Finn knew she was angry due to her jaw ticking and her lips flattening into a straight line as her hands curled into fist.  Finn rarely saw Lydia angry because of the light optimistic aura she gave off, but when Lydia was angry the situation became ugly.

"Finn you are so infuriating sometime! I don't get you, y-ou just make no sense.  You don't even want to lock up the man that's been hurting you physically and I'm sure mentally for who knows how long!" Lydia's voice began to rise with each word as anger dripped in every word and her cheeks turned slightly red.

"Because Lydia I won't do that to my family.  He's my own father I can't do that to him." Finn spat as his voice began to rise matching Lydia's.

"I don't get that.  If I was in you're situation I would call the cops immediately!" Lydia snapped making Finn's eyes soften.

"But you're not in my situation," Finn's voice lowered as he stepped forward making Lydia match him and step back.  Lydia stepped outside the house as Finn grabbed for the front door. 

But before Finn closed the door he spoke, voice barely above a whisper.

"I can't lose the last of my family," Finn said before shutting the door in Lydia's face.

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Months had past since Finn talked to Lydia. The amount of leaves that scattered on the ground multiplied and the air became colder as the ground turned silver with frost.

Autumn leaves turned from bright reds and oranges to dark browns as the leaves crinkled from death. Halloween came and past as pumpkins sat on porches and stuffed witches hung from trees.

Finn always loved Halloween. He loved the candy, the costumes, the music, the weather, Finn loved everything about it. Finn remembered when he used to dress up with his sister and Lydia and go trick-or-treating around the neighborhood.

Finn remembered watching Halloweentown with Lydia by his side and the smell of acorns and pumpkin pie floated through the air. Sipping on Capri-Sun's while dressed in a beige pillow case that wrapped around his body because Finn's parents couldn't afford both a cloak and a lightsaber.

Finn couldn't help but smile at the children that ran around the neighborhood dressed as ghosts and witches and some with fairy wings that were mixes of blue, pink, and purple attached to their backs.

But soon the sun set and the beautiful light blue that filled the sky melted into pink and dripped into the dark purple that then became the beautiful black color that highlighted the stars and all its glory.

As night fell so did the month and winter soon came. The wind became stronger and faster knocking down plants and toys that children forgot to take in with them for the night. But snow never came, it rarely did in Georgia. And when it did snow it was only at most two inches.

Thanksgiving rolled around and Finn found himself sitting at the foot of his bed waiting for Lydia's call to invite him for their annual family feast. But when the call never came Finn found himself disappointed.

Disappointed was an understatement, Finn was confused and worried. He assured himself that everything was fine and that Lydia would apologize in mere days and that he'd have his best friend back.

Finn told himself that after every leaf had fallen off the trees and once the delicious smell of roasted turkey and mashed potatoes with the sweet smell of Pumpkin left the cool frosty air that everything would go back to normal.

However, as the winter continued so did the rift between Finn's and Lydia's fight. They hadn't spoken since the night in early October.

Finn was worried, no doubt about that. But there was something different about this fight. It wasn't like the usual fights where Lydia would become angry, but a few hours later she'd apologize. This was different, this filled the air with tension and the taste of bitterness that Finn didn't like at all.

Lydia had never gone but mere days without speaking to Finn. And when Christmas came and Lydia didn't show up at the door step of Finn's house inviting him to celebrate with her family for a week, he became frightened.

Finn feared that his friendship with her was over.

And that he'd be stuck with his father with no one to run too when it was over.

Finn feared that without Lydia, there would be no one there to save him.

And that made him petrafied.

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First off I would like to say Happy Birthday to my dear friend motivational penguin !!!!!! <3

I updated early for her birthday so I hope she likes the chapter!

Also, this story is a novella so it will only go up to about 22-25 chapters...maybe? I'm still working out the details. I'm already on chapter five and that's a little exciting for me!

Anyways, there is only about two more months until the summer and hopefully I'll be on chapter ten by then.

But when summer comes along I plan to start Terminal Chaos as well as another book possibly and maybe (just maybe) I might start the rewritten version of Moon Gazing.

If you don't know what Moon Gazing is: It is my very first short story on Wattpad and I wasn't very proud of the writing but I like the plot so I might rewrite it!

So let me know what you think of all that!

So I got the idea below from colourlessness  I might start using it! It's so cool, all credit goes to colourlessness though!

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Hope you liked the chapter! (Comment and vote if you did!)

~ moe