Chan pulled her inside her room, keeping the plate of food that he had brought with him to the side, "What?"

She squirmed out of his grip, not uttering another word.

"You're pregnant?!" 

Soojin stood quietly, not meeting his gaze and simply staring at the ground as if she was shameful of her mistake. Except it was not really her fault this time, she believed. 

Chan paced around the room, his fingers running through his hair and eyes bloodshot, "Shit, shit, shit!" 

She watched as he panicked, and her heart ached. She had always pictured this moment of her telling her significant other about her pregnancy to be magical; the guy she was with to rejoice upon the news, having the biggest smile on his face, treating her like she was his most prized possession. He would have lifted her up in his arms, hugging her delicately but tightly altogether, and would have been gleaming with her. 

And seeing Chan pacing around the room in sheer panic was something she had never wanted. It was so not what she had pictured. 

"We have to tell Jinyoung," he said impatiently, "Come, we're going to him." 

As he began to walk out of the door, she stood behind him, feebly asking, "And would that solve everything?" 

Chan turned around, "But we can find a way out of it." 

"Chan, he'll just tell me to abort it," Soojin spoke, "What other idea would he have about this? Are you really going to tell him what happened that night? Do you really have the ability to say that?" 

He halted, and gritted his teeth, muttering, "Why the fuck did I...?" 

"I don't want to abort it." 

Chan looked at her incredulously, "Are you out of your damn mind, Soojin?" 

She kept silent, and a hundred thoughts raced through his mind. Why was she so quiet now? And why didn't she want to abort the fetus? It was not the result of their love,  was it? Why keep it? 

Chan walked over to her and held both her arms tightly, and trying to be reasonable, he inhaled and exhaled and spoke, "Soojin, this isn't right. This child won't be born out of love, okay? You and I both know what happened and-" 

"No, Chan! I don't fucking know what happened!" she finally burst out, jerking her arms away from his grasp, "I just came to greet you and ask you if you were hungry because that's what humans do! That's what humans do when they love someone! They take care of them! And I tried my best, Chan! I tried my goddamn best!" 

Chan felt chills down his spine at the remembrance of that night yet again. His lustful desires had been fulfilled to a twisted end, but his heart still ached for making her go through that, for forcing his sexual frustration on her. And he hated each bit of it. 

Soojin rubbed her temples, entangling her hair in her fingers at the front, and then said, "I am not aborting, Chan." 

"Why?" Chan gently asked, "Why is not aborting so important to you?" 

"Work, Soojin!" her mother growled, "I need to put you to some use, bitch!"

"I'm sorry, mom," she feebly muttered, collecting the empty bottles of rum and the glasses littered on the table. Her seven-year-old hands could barely handle the number of items in them, but when her father smirked and smashed a bottle on the ground, she squeaked and stepped backward. 

"What?" he spoke, "Pick it up!" 

"B-But it will hurt..." Soojin mumbled cowering away. 

Her mother yanked her by the arm and threw her dangerously close to the glass shards of the broken bottle of alcohol, "Clean it!"

"Okay..." Soojin complied, tears falling onto the alcohol-tainted ground, and she grabbed her tray to slowly collect the pieces and place them on the tray. Just as she was picking up, a piece of glass pierced through her skin and drew out blood. 

Soojin winced, and her mother groaned, shaking her head, 

"I should have aborted her, damn it!" 

"Because I am not like my parents!" Soojin whimpered out as boldly as she could, chest heaving up and down, "I am not like them..."

Chan sensed that something was off in the way she talked about her parents. And he was determined to find out. However, there were things and issues at hand currently, and he was more tensed about those. 

"So... you're not going to abort?" 

Soojin wordlessly shook her head. 

"I guess I will just..." Chan sighed, walking out of the door, "...just learn to live with my mistake, then." 

(a/n: the last line hurt tho. ouch. 

what do you think about this? 

thanks for reading! i love you!)