"Morning, Soojinie!" Jeongin greeted her the next morning, and she smiled faintly. 

"Good morning," she spoke, eyes searching for a certain someone in the hall, but, to her disappointment, he was nowhere to be seen, "Where's Chan?" 

"He left for the studio early today," Changbin spoke, "He seriously looked sleep-deprived, though." 

"He didn't even have dinner last night," Minho remarked, "I wonder what's up with him." 

Soojin felt guiltier than ever. He barely had food, slept, or remained in his own house because of her. How was she ever going to cope with that kind of guilt? And how could she make it better for him? 

"I..." she began, "Can I take some food for him to the studio? Will that be allowed?"

"Of course, you're his girlfriend," Jisung hummed, "Please get him to eat something. He's definitely stressed about the next comeback." 

"I will try..." 

--- 

Chan aggressively tapped on his laptop's keys, eyebrows stressed and eyes narrowed. His stomach rumbled, not having eaten anything since the previous day. His breaths came deep and long, and his mind was clouded with irrational thoughts and scenarios. 

Is this how the rest of his life going to be? Couldn't he do anything to make this right? Was this the end of it all? 

He aggressively took the headphones off his head, placing them on the side and pinching the bridge of his nose. Living had become frustrating, and although he wasn't the type to think of giving up, he had begun hating the life that he once loved. 

Amidst the mind-numbing revelations, he heard someone knock on the door of his studio. 

"Come in," he spoke, clearing his throat. 

And he wasn't really pleased to see the root cause of his life's problems walking in through the door. 

Upon casting a glance at her, he averted his eyes, sighing deeply. 

"Chan, I'm sorry-" 

"Are you here to just apologize?" he cut her short, "Because that's not going to help." 

"I... I got you some food," Soojin spoke, and he noticed the jute bag slung on her forearm. 

Chan didn't reply or acknowledge; he simply turned around in his chair and began harshly pressing the keys on his laptop. Soojin frowned. 

"Please, eat something," she pleaded, feeling sheer guilt for making him end up this way. 

Chan didn't reply. 

"Chan?" 

No response. 

"I know that I cannot make it better," she solemnly spoke, "I know it. I am the one who has caused you so much pain for doing nothing-" 

"Nothing?" Chan turned around, catching her off-guard, "Soojin, even though I don't exactly like you, I'm not putting the entire blame on you. I went to your... place. And I was the one who went there again. Even if I'm absolutely hating your tactics to satisfy yourself and your greed, you aren't the only one at fault. It's my fault, too." 

Soojin was about to speak when Chan spoke again,

"It was my fault that I met you." 

And she didn't know why that hurt her heart so much. 

She stood there silently, biting her lower lip to not end up sobbing, and he simply stared at her. 

"I'll just... place it here," she murmured, keeping the jute bag on the table adjacent to the one he was sitting against, "Please eat something." 

With that being said, she was gone. 

And Chan couldn't deny the fact that he hated himself -- not just for making someone feel so immensely sorrowful, but for still being attracted to her body. 

His hands shook with anger for himself when he unintentionally reminisced about the two nights they had spent together. They might have been the turning points in his life, but he couldn't lie -- while he had been there, in those moments, he had enjoyed every bit of it. 

Chan hated himself for still being attracted to her physically. 

His stomach rumbled, and he stressfully picked up the jute bag, fishing out a box of cooked ramen and chopsticks. And placed on top of the box was a little note: 

I hope you enjoy your meal :) 

(a/n: I UPDATED! I UPDATED! IM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT! 

yeahhhh y'all are gonna absolutely HATE me when you realize how this story turns out to be 

what are your views about the story so far? hehe i just like asking you guys this question bec i REALLY wanna know what you think of it 

thanks for reading! i love you!)