Within the week, I'm pretty much settled in. I am used to grueling daily workouts (I had never really ever willingly exercised before. PhysEd was enough). I'm used to Gertrude's withering glances (which I've learned to pretend not to notice). And I'm used to the daily routine of my so-called "classes", which consist of some pretty random things. So far, the only thing that I've learned that's really stuck in my mind is this:

Ass/u/me.

This happens to be the retaliation of one of the mentors when a kid used the word, "assume" in a sentence more than three times. It was written on the board and hasn't been erased since. Let me just say that most of the children in my class should not be trusted with protecting the Earth from aliens. Heck, I wouldn't trust any of these kids to do their part in a group project either. Then again, I wouldn't trust most of the populace to do their part in a project. That may or may not include me.

Today, when I walk into the classroom, the ass/u/me is gone.

Suspicious? Definitely.

I spot Elie towards the back of the room and practically tiptoe all the way there to the seat beside him, just because that's how quiet the whole room is. Another sign that something is up. Did someone die? The death of a person is literally the only reason any of the people in this room would be as quiet as they are now.

I carefully lower myself into the seat--again--to avoid making noise, and turn to Elie. "Did someone die?" I whisper this, but even as I do, a few heads turn to glare. Well, shit. As I turn to the side, I catch Elie giving me a warning glance. "What?"

"SHHHHH!" this comes from several people in the vicinity. What the hell is happening? My eyes widen as a realization hits me; could everyone have been possessed by aliens? It seems possible. I run through a made-on-the-fly checklist:

1)An adolescent has erased the ass/u/me off the board.

2)No one has put it back on the board.

3)It's so quiet that I can hear the quietness.

Conclusion: I'm an idiot.

One the board are the words, "You are being watched. The branch manager will not come in until everyone is completely silent." Of course. Of course, this happens to me. The first impression on the head of our branch, and I screw up. Slowly, I straighten my posture and swivel to face the front of the room.

Not even two seconds later, a lady comes striding into the room. The whole room seems to straighten. Back in the corner of the room, a kid smoothes his shirt and I resist the urge to do the same. This lady just exudes power. Her hair is perfectly pulled back, eyebrows perfectly plucked. The only blemish on her skin is a little scar above her left eyebrow. "Two minutes." she glares at me as she says this. "It took two minutes for everyone to have shut bocas, focused ojos, and still culos." Judging by the ease in which she spouted out body parts in Spanish, she's a native speaker.

"I assume that everyone knows what the drill is today." Assume. While I manage to keep a straight face, several others with less self-control, fail. A guy towards the side of the room looks like he's about ready to pop a vein with the amount of effort it's taking him to try to keep from bursting out laughing. The girl in front of me actually lets out something that sounds like a whimper as she tries to hold it all in.

Lady (my new name for her) doesn't even miss a beat, "Dawson, if you're gonna make a face like that, I will have to assume you're severely constipated." Oh, hell. Please, someone help me get through this. The girl in front of me finally cracks and slumps onto her desk, shoulders shaking as she tries to stifle giggles. No, no, no, don't look, don't laugh.

Lady takes one look at all of us and walks out of the room. The guy--Dawson--cracks too and starts convulsing with silent laughter. That's last straw for everyone, and after three minutes we are still going on strong. Every time someone stops laughing, it just starts all over again.

Finally, Lady comes back in, only this time, she has a paper in her hands.

Immediately, the laughter stops as all eyes go to the paper. It's pink in color, which can only mean one thing--that paper is the harbinger of bad news. With a satisfied smile, she says, "This, my little burros, is the paper that contains your assigned group partners for the testing. I was going to let you pick your own groups, but . . . it seems that you won't able to handle picking on your own." The same eerie silence falls over the class as they process this news, and Lady slides the paper onto the floor. "Each group has been assigned a testing room, enjoy." She leaves the class.

The moment the door closes, the whole class surges forward like a pack of starved hyenas towards the paper. The air is perforated with moans as people find out who they're partnered with. Beside me, Elie preps himself to go into the mob that is our class, surrounding the paper.

"Hey, can you check what group I'm in? I don't want to die trying to see which group it is," I plead with my eyes, hoping he would do it.

Elie considers this, before sighing, "Fine, but next time, you're going in while I stay back." Yeah, not likely. I nod anyway. He takes a deep breath and surges forward towards the paper. After a minute of intense struggling, he reaches the paper.

He struggles back with a satisfied look on his face, "You, me, and Gertrude are all in one group. We go to room 138."

Huh, what are the odds? Grouped with a friend and a person who hates me. Wonderful. A quick glance around tells me that Gertrude has left without us. I sigh out through my nose, "Alright, let's go."

***

It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust to the darkness of the testing room. The far side of the room almost looks like a control room. There are three black screens, and in front of it is a long rectangular table with three chairs each with a pair of headphones in front of it. I look to Elie with a questioning look. Elie had opened his mouth to answer when three people barge into the room. Two women and one man. The woman, obviously the person in charge, steps forward, and gestures towards the simulators and holds out what looks like full-body wetsuits towards us. "Wear these. There is a changing room right outside."

"I didn't have to wear this last time," I state gruffly. This is not what I signed up for.

"It helps to give the full experience," the woman answers.

I take one of the suits and go outside into the changing room. The suit covers everything. And when I say everything, I mean everything. It has built-in gloves and those cool looking feet-gloves with soles at the bottom. It even has a turtleneck and pockets. What bugs me though, is the thickness of the suit. I compared it to a wetsuit before? Scratch that. It's about five times thicker than a wetsuit, not at all comfortable.

After struggling to zip the zipper at the back (my arms weren't made for the zipping of back-zippers) I walk stiffly back into the room. The suit is so thick, it's like walking in a suit of rubber.

The woman looked at me sympathetically, "The reason the material is so odd is because it has little devices embedded in it to check vitals. It's also designed to take care of bodily fluids. Obviously not solids, just fluids. I had one person poop in the suit last year, the clean-up was not fun. We have other more heavy duty suits for solids that are meant for long-term simulations." Holy shit. What if I'm wearing the suit that was pooped in?

She directs me to the last chair. Elie and Gertrude are already seated. As soon as I get situated, she goes to work powering everything up. I close my eyes.

When I reopen my eyes, I'm in a totally different world, and I know this shouldn't surprise me, but for some reason, it does. Currently, I stand in a long hallway with gaudy floral wallpaper. The type you would expect to find only in wallpaper stores, and nowhere else. To my left is a side table with a vase, where Elie is standing. Gertrude appears right in front of me and gasps. "What?" I snap. Now is not the time to be hating on each other. An unresponsive Gertrude just continues to stare.

Finally, I shift my gaze to where her eyes are fixed on the floor. All I see is carpet. The shittiest red carpet in the world. With a wet patch. Wait a minute . . . .

Oh, shit. I should have known this wouldn't be easy. One big sniff confirms it. It's blood.

Farther down the hall, where the bulbs are flickering, is a sound that sounds suspiciously like a moan. The bulb above us flickers, too. Oh hell, no. More moans of pain reverberate through the hall, and the three of us cluster together under the single bulb that's keeping us away from the moans.

"Thank goodness for the light, otherwi-"

All the bulbs except for the one we are under, die.

"Elie, you moron! You just jinxed us," I hiss. "Knock on wood!"

"Shhh!" Gertrude brings a finger to her lips, "Do you hear that?"

"What?"

"There's silence. No more moaning."

We're screwed. Just beyond us, at the end of the hall, I spot the exit sign, glowing an eerie red in the darkness. That's it! We have to make it to the exit! "Guys," I whisper, "We have to get to the exit." All three of our heads turn towards the exit sign. So close, yet so far in the dark. I take a cautious step forward, out of the protective circle of light cast by our single light bulb. I take another step. Suddenly, a growl erupts from in front of me, sounding just a few feet away. Shit, I'm too young to die! I practically knock Elie over with my hasty retreat backward. He grabs my arm and pulls me aside to steady me, "Hey, remember when the light was on farther down?" he asks. I nod. "It was moaning, I bet it doesn't like the light," he whispers. Of course.

"So, we just have to bring the light with us somehow."

Elie nods, "Maybe there's some wood around here. We can make a fire on a stick and carry it with us towards the exit."

"Maybe. . ."

Next to me, Gertrude scoffs, "Really, guys? Where are we going to find the time to make a fire with non-existent sticks?" Hmm.

"Maybe," I say, "we can draw the beast forward so that it's under this light. Then, while it's immobilized, we can escape."

"And how exactly are we going to draw it here?" Gertrude whispers. I shrug, completely out of ideas. "Wait!" Gertrude starts to look around, until her eyes land on the wet patch of blood on the carpet, just beyond our circle of light. From the pocket of her wetsuit, she pulls out a handkerchief. Since when do adolescents carry handkerchiefs around? She edges towards the wet spot and presses the kerchief into the carpet.

She comes back with the kerchief, which is soaked in blood, and waves it in the direction from where the previous growling had originated from.

"What are you doing?" I hiss, "You're wafting the scent to it, it's gonna-oh." I hear the growls coming close, becoming more agitated. It's hungry. When it sounds like it's mere feet away, I tug Gertrude's arm backward. She drops the kerchief and quickly backs away. Just as she does this, the beast pounces on the kerchief. "Run!" I scream. Moans start up again from behind us, but I don't even bother looking back. It's probably the fastest I've ever run somewhere in my life, yet it feels like the slowest. I'm pushing myself to the limit, practically throwing myself across the room to get to that glowing exit sign. Our only hope. I reach the door, and finally, risk a glance behind me to see if the others were with me. Looking around, I see Elie, but no Gertrude. Crap. Where is she? I can't just leave without her. I squint towards the light, and there, standing frozen in horror, watching the beast claw its eyes out, is Gertrude. She hasn't even moved an inch towards the exit. No, no, no. I look around for anything that can possibly help her. The beast is slowly coming to its senses, and I have no doubt that soon, it will look up and see Gertrude standing frozen. Like fresh meat. I frantically look around and my eyes land on the vase.

I burst out into a sprint, grab it, and hurl it towards the wall behind the beast to act as a distraction. Everything is in slow motion, the vase shatters into dozens of glass knives and they fall onto the ground like twinkling snowflakes.

"Gertrude, get the hell out of there!" She snaps out of it and runs towards the exit, me close behind her. Elie, ever the gentleman, holds the door open for us and slams it shut as soon as we've scrambled in. We slump against the door, panting, and completely done.

"We better have passed," Elie mutters from beside me. I nod in agreement. All around, everything starts to fade, and finally, we're back in the testing room.

One of the ladies comes to help me out of the simulator.

The woman from before says, "You're all done. Right now all of you can do whatever you want. Then, next week, we'll see you again for another test."

Another test! Damn it. I don't want to do this again.

We're silent as we walk back to our classroom, still in shock from the whole experience. The car ride back home with Gertrude is silent too. But just before I get out of the car though, Gertrude catches my arm. "Thanks for helping me back there," she says this almost sheepishly.

"No problem."

"I guess I owe you an introduction," she gives me a warm smile that I don't think I've ever seen directed at me before. "I'm Sheila," she says, "Nice to meet you."

Author's Note:

Hello! Please point out any grammar mistakes (I wrote this at 11 pm, they're bound to be lots). I hope you liked it! Also, thank you to my readers! If you liked it, maybe consider voting?
PS: I'll try to update either next Friday or Saturday.