Rowan

Arlette and Serena volunteer to take Marcius home. Luis wanders off, managing to slip away from me when I'm not paying attention.

I corner Chris in an office. "Do you really think destroying Luis's self-confidence is going to help him become the alpha?" I ask him hotly.

"I think he needs a reality check," Chris replies instantly, his blue eyes focusing on me as he crosses his arms over his chest.

"He's doing amazing, Chris. He's gone through shit no eighteen-year-old should have to. All of us have. Insulting him when he fucks up isn't helping anyone," I say.

Chris's eyes fall from mine. He swallows, thinking heavily about something.

I'm not used to this. I have a loud voice, a mean glare, and a towering figure. I'm used to people paying attention to me when I'm angry. Chris's disregard of me catches me by surprise.

"Maria and I..." he begins, his voice soft. "We can't let the things you've seen stop us from teaching you."

I don't understand him. "Chris?"

Chris looks up at me. "We had a war, Rowan. If not for Stephanie, Serena would have died. You would have died. Luis would have died with you. We..." He shakes his head. "I don't ever want you to think we're ignoring what you went through. The violence. The fear."

I realize. Chris is still haunted by that night. I suspect I am, too, though I cover up the fear by spending time with my friends.

American culture doesn't take violence seriously. The act of harming another person, of watching harm, of fearing harm. We watch movies and play video games where people weather severed limbs and dozens of gunshot wounds. But feeling the pain, watching it happen to you and everyone around you... it's a whole new type of trauma.

I swallow. "You want him to stay tough," I say.

Chris does nothing, but I know I'm right. "Luis's best asset has always been his strength. Physical and mental. That needs to stay true."

"Then praise him when he does something right. Don't just scold him for screwing up," I tell Chris. I lean against the wall, suddenly fatigued. "Listen. I'm not a parent. I don't know what it's like to be responsible for turning literal wild animals into sophisticated leaders, and I won't pretend to. And there's a hell of a lot I have to learn about this world. But I'm telling you that Luis doesn't have the self-assurance you seem to think he does. You're setting him up for failure."

I peel myself away from the wall. "You're trying your best, Chris. And you're doing amazing. But you fucked this one up." I step away. "And instead of insulting you, I took you away privately and explained what you did wrong."

I hold his gaze for a moment before I leave the room so I can go find my mate.

I wonder if anyone in the pack is a therapist.

The older I get, the more I realize that the plight of the young is forever thinking that we are smarter than the old. It's an endless cycle because we can never be convinced that we are wrong. From age fourteen onward, I thought I had life figured out. Now I'm starting to realize that no one, including myself, truly knows anything about the world. We are all just stuck on this insane roller coaster, helplessly twisting and turning through life at breakneck speeds, hanging onto our seatbelts and hoping the tracks don't fall out from under us. It's fucking terrifying.

I shift and run out into the forest, following Luis's scent. He's in his human form, taking a hike instead of going on a run. He only hikes when he needs to think. I'm just worried he's digging himself into a mental hole.

I find him deep in the forest, gently winding through a thicket of ferns. He smells me and turns. I cock my head at him, not changing out of my wolf form. He holds his hand out and I walk up to nuzzle against it. He crouches before me and pets my head and ears. The feeling of being petted is hard to describe. It feels a bit like being hugged. Simple, platonic intimacy. I now understand why some dogs don't let strangers pet them.

This is how you found me in the forest, I say over the mindlink. That very first time. Do you remember?

I'll never forget, Luis replies with a smile. Idols, you're beautiful. Your topcoat is turning more of a ginger color.

I lick his face. He laughs and sits down on the earth. I'm too big to fit on his lap, but I sure try. My head and back legs hang off of his thighs, but he seems soothed by my weight and pets the fur of my chest and shoulders.

What's the plan, alpha? I ask, knowing he won't be able to rest until his alpha business is sorted.

I'm not the alpha yet, he reminds me.

I move my head onto his knee. You'll always be my alpha.

He chuckles. Don't let my mom hear you say that.

Laughter in my wolf form is weird. It's a chuff that comes from low in the throat, almost like a grumble. Luis knows the noise.

Marcius gave us the contact of someone on the island who can tell us more about the situation. We'll brief my mom when she comes back and make a plan to do some recon. See what we're dealing with, he explains.

I let the silence linger for a moment. I want you to know how proud I am of you. Other future alphas don't have nearly this much shit on their plates.

Arlette does. Comes with having a big pack, he replies.

My heart sinks when I think of Arlette and Serena. And that's why they have to go back.

He knows my feelings without me having to tell him more. I don't want her to go, either. But she'll be so happy. God, I don't know how we didn't know who her mate was sooner. Serena belongs in the Louisiana Entente.

I knew, I insist. No one believes me, but I saw their compatibility from the moment I met Arlette. They're both so... so much the same, I think. And so different. They can bare their teeth and start a fight, then turn into hopeless romantics daydreaming about getting married and having kids.

Luis smiles. I think Serena likes the idea of playing... housewife, for lack of a better word. Mating into one of the biggest packs of the world and being Arlette's happy little wife.

We both laugh at the idea. She can fantasize about that all she wants, but Serena is as much of a housewife as your mom is, I tell him. I stretch a bit. But I get it. I fantasize the same thing sometimes. The sweet, stabilizing treasure waiting in the alpha's bed for him. Keeping him sane while he does his hard, hard work.

He thinks for a moment. Can I tell you something?

Yes, my love.

Sometimes I have that fantasy, too.

What? Keeping my bed warm while I tell the truth from a lie? I tease.

His smile, helped along by a bit of a blush, doesn't fade. Keeping your bed warm while you turn politics into your own little game.

I don't know what to say to this, so I stay silent. It's a happy silence.

"Shift," he requests, using his real voice. I pull myself off of him and follow his request. He stands up in front of me and reaches to hold both of my hands. He kisses me deeply, leaving me dizzy. I sink into him, letting our skin melt together until we are as close as two people can be.

Luis breaks away from the kiss to nibble and suck on my neck, trailing down until he catches my mating scars in his teeth. My breath hitches in my throat, the sensations reminding me of the ecstasy I felt when he marked me as his.

We don't say anything. We don't roleplay or tease. But piece by piece, bit by bit, in a cascading waterfall of starving touch and shuddering breath, I find myself laying on the ground, my head pillowed upon Luis's shirt. Both of us are naked. The growing darkness of the forest and the cool wind on my bare skin heighten every movement of Luis's body against mine. It feels so strange, but so weirdly right, having the ferns and dirt of the forest floor pressed against my skin.

Luis moves me onto my hands and knees. I close my eyes, clutching handfuls of pine needles and dirt as he rims me. The heat and silky wetness of his tongue make me a panting, gasping mess. His fingers join his mouth in his effort to warm me up. Electric tingles lace my body. An agony that only he can solve consumes my body and mind alike.

"Fuck me," I beg, looking back at him. I can't bear this another moment.

Luis looks up at me. His dark eyes look dangerous, but so loving. His body is so beautiful. All of the curves and angles, the artistic lines forming together this man I love more than life itself. The sight of his cock, stiffened in desire for me, makes my own desire so ravenous I can hardly think of anything but him.

I've never cared much for doggystyle. I like looking at my soulmate too much. But this just feels right, out here in the forest. Like a tribute to the wolf forms that created our union. Our way of acknowledging that the roots of our love have four paws.

His body is slow and careful as he pushes into me because saliva makes poor lubricant. I'll be sore, but I don't care. All I care about is him taking this pain away by bringing me to release. It's all I can think about.

He fills me completely. A deep, peaceful satisfaction claims me as his hips rest against me. I let out a long, breathless sigh that turns into a high moan when he begins moving again. His hands graze over my back and hips before holding my waist, keeping me in place as he thrusts into me. He's so strong, my thin body is like a feather in his hands. My hands slip on the ground and I have to work to find purchase so I don't fall forward. My body jerks and pleasure shoots through me with each stroke. I feel his pulse from inside of me.

My arms are shaking from exertion. My legs are weak. After a few wondrous minutes, I feel an orgasm growing in the bottom of my stomach. I focus on it, focus on him, the feeling of my body giving my soulmate pleasure.

I finish before he does. Spurts of white paint the pine needles beneath me. A deep, satisfied buzzing fills me. The feeling of him is close to overstimulating me. I'm just moments away from asking him to stop when I feel him finish. His relief, his satisfaction, fills me like it was my own. His muscles contract and his dick jerks as he comes. I pull myself up onto just my knees as he gently tugs himself out of me. He holds me against his body, his arms crossed protectively around my chest and waist. I lean my head back against his shoulder, feeling dizzy.

"I love you so much," he whispers, nuzzling against the side of my head.

"I love you, too, Luis," I mumble, my mind still mostly located in my dick. "Holy shit, I love you."

He kisses me deeply, supporting my trembling form with his own strong one. Like a wire cage supporting a young, fragile plant.

He helps me to my feet and we redress in the clothes we tore from each other. We kiss again, linking hands as we fully recover ourselves. The scent of him and the sensation of the gift he left inside of me make the world disappear.

"Come on," he whispers, pulling me back toward the house by my hand. I go with him without question, assuming he is hungry or tired. I know I am both.

Luis leads me through the backdoor and into the living room. "Wait here for me?" he asks. I yawn and nod as he walks down the hallway.