Angry humiliation. Like a vine, it crawls under my skin, looping around my lungs to steal my breath and up my throat into my eyes. Hot tears reflect my rage; otherwise, I'm silent. It's a silence driven by terror. I can't afford for the humiliation to turn into a ball of aggression that will force my wolf to attack Dante, or worse, the Alpha. The latter would be an act leading to my certain death.

I can't even pinpoint which source of humiliation bothers me the most. There was for one Dante's insistence that we continue with the mating for the full three nights, even after the rogue had left. This compelled me to remain in the stinking lair until my equally appalling mate had finished using me as a breeding machine. Then, when we got home, my welcoming gift was the Luna's harsh words insisting that I encouraged her daughter to masturbate and commit a sin while the Alpha spanked Hailey with a belt.

Since the odds that I got pregnant are in my favor, they refrained from physically disciplining me and sent me to my room instead. Now a hushed conversation is taking place between the Alpha and Lance Ward in the Alpha's study, undoubtedly to determine my fate for stirring up trouble with the younger females. I'm screwed no matter what they'll come up with. Tears of hate roll down my cheeks before getting soaked up by my pillow; I clutch my grandmother's pendant in my fist as if it could protect me. The despair is so crushing that it's almost a relief when I'm finally called downstairs. Halting on the threshold to the kitchen, I meet the Alpha's glare.

He folds his arms. "On your knee, female."

My gaze flicks to Harla whose jaw is clenched. She won't have my back. When a growl rumbles in the Alpha's chest, I lower myself on one knee and drop my gaze.

"Raelyn, under normal circumstances, you'd be whipped at the pole, but since you've likely conceived, this punishment is suspended for now. Therefore, you'll be shunned for one moon cycle, which means you'll be confined to the barn except for the times you are required to do chores. You are to remain silent the entire month unless you have my permission to speak. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Alpha."

"In addition, you'll pay tribute to the Moon Goddess together with Hailey during the next full moon. We will fix later what that entails, but it will require a sacrifice. Now go to the barn. My mate will bring you food and water later."

Huffing under my breath, I pick myself off the floor and storm out the backdoor. My whole body trembles. Given, I didn't flat out tell Hailey not to masturbate but claiming I encouraged her is a stretch. This is unfair. Hailey shouldn't have blamed me.

When I step into the courtyard, my anger evaporates. There, in the bright light of the soft winter sun is Hailey, collared up to the pole in the center. The Alpha forced her into a kneeling position and the chain is so short that she can only manage to rest one half of her face in the snow without risking that the teeth of the collar tear open her throat. Her welted and bruised butt is sticking up for the whole pack to witness her shame. It's the most degrading punishment I've ever seen.

I kneel down next to her. "Oh, Hailey."

"I'm so sorry." Her naked body shivers in the freezing wind. "My mom was so mad and when she yelled at me, your name just slipped out. I didn't mean for you to get into trouble."

"Don't worry. Just hang in—"

Someone pulls me to my feet. Jos's pale blue eyes are blazing. "Are you absolutely insane talking to her? If my father catches you, he will whip you, pregnant or not."

"I just—"

"Shut up and get in there before someone sees you." He shoves me toward the barn door.

I glance back at Hailey over my shoulder, offering her a crooked smile. Jos won't have it and pulls me inside the barn. After he slides the door closed, he wraps his arms around me, his stroking hands soothing as I weep against his shoulder.

"I can't do this. This is too much."

"You have to. I was there when my father talked to Lance and some of his other advisors. Lance wanted to banish you and declare war on your old pack, and only the reminder that you're carrying the alpha heir convinced my dad not to give in. However, if you step a toe out of line this next month, the repercussions will be severe, not only for you but also your family."

"I'm so angry about all of this, and I'm scared I'm gonna go insane if I'm locked in here."

"Don't worry. I won't let you go through this alone."

"What about Dante?"

He snorts. "Dante will take this as an opportunity to seek out Lara. Fat chance you will even see him until the next full moon."

I lower myself onto the ground. The relief that I won't have to deal with him for a few weeks is soured by the shameful sting that the father of my pup will be with another female without even showing the slightest compassion for what I'm going through. "Something happened in the woods."

The floodgates open again when new humiliation threatens to crush my insides. In between sobs, I fill Jos in about the incident with the rogue. "And if she conceived, she might return and challenge me for Luna. She was so big. I could never beat her."

"She only has the right to do that if she bears an Alpha male. Plus you don't even know if she got pregnant. Since she didn't wear Dante's mark, it's much harder for her."

"Still. It was at the most fertile time."

Jos squeezes my hand. "And there's no guarantee that Dante will ever be Alpha, so you might not have to fight her either way."

"What do you mean?"

"Any Alpha born of this pack can go up against Dante in the Trials. We were born only days apart, so what makes you think I wouldn't?"

"Does your father know?"

"It's been discussed. Dante doesn't take me seriously since I'm just the bastard son. Usually, he laughs it off when I remind him that Alpha succession is not a right. I swear he's so full of himself."

When the wind tears angrily at the hinges of the barn door, I jump. It's as if nature wants to remind me about my punishment. If Harla or the Alpha catch us talking, Jos and I will both feel the whip.

"You should go."

He forces my hands around a small bottle. "Here are the drops to kill my scent. I'll be back tonight when the others are asleep."

Warmth fills my chest; at least I have one friend left. "Thanks, Jos."

"Don't mention it."

~~~~

I spend my days in total isolation and darkness; my feeding times are the only interruption when the Luna brings me sandwiches and fruit together with a big glass of milk. If it wasn't for Jos sneaking in late at night to lie with me until dawn, I'd probably lose my mind.

A few times, I peek through a small gap in the doorframe at Hailey outside. She's shivering in the cold while the other pack members go about their business and ignore her for the most part. Once, I hear some males laughing, but that could've been triggered by something else. After three days, the Alpha releases her and her mom guides her back to the packhouse with a blanket tucked around her shoulders. If she is lucky, they won't punish her further until the sacrifice to the Moon Goddess.

Finally, after two weeks, the Luna comes for me outside my feeding schedule and informs me that I've been assigned to kitchen duty. When I step out of my dark prison, the bright light bites my eyes, and I have to blink a few times to clear my teary vision. With my gaze glued to the ground, I follow Harla into the packhouse. Hay and filth have soiled my clothes and hair; I long for a hot shower, but I'm afraid to ask her whether I can use the bathroom.

"Peel these potatoes."

I stare at the three large burlap bags; this will take hours. At least I can wash my hands. Pulling myself onto a bar stool, I grab the first potato.

"No, stand."

With a sigh, I slide back off the stool. I'm happier than ever that my hair is shorter and I don't have to deal with it falling into my eyes. Since I'm the only female in the house with Harla, we work in pressing silence. Potato after potato is dropped into the pot until my fingertips are raw and my wrists hurt. Once a pot is filled, it's replaced by another. It's almost as if she's determined to cook enough potatoes to last us through the rest of winter.

The backdoor creaks open and honeyed laughter drifts in before Lara steps inside the kitchen. Dante is right behind her, causing my breath to catch in my throat. Her stench is saturating his skin; no doubt they have spent the last days together.

The Luna's smile is cold. "This is hardly appropriate, Dante."

"Why not? It's not like it's a big secret."

For a second, his gaze flicks to me and I have to bite my lip to suppress a harsh reply.

"Still," Harla insists.

"No offense, Mom, but as future Alpha, I think I know what's appropriate for this pack and what's not. No need to worry."

The Luna purses her lips. "If you say so."

His smile can't hide the arrogance. "Lara and I are really hungry since we missed breakfast. Would you mind making us a snack?"

With a line of resentment on her face, the Luna turns toward the fridge and pulls out a platter with leftover rabbit meat. My mouth waters. I hadn't had fresh kill since my heat and would love a big bite. Focusing on the potato in my hand, I continue my work. Lara's scent is irritating and the knife keeps slipping. When I look up, Dante's smirk is like a new slap to my face.

More silence falls over the room as Lara picks at her food. Worry is etched on her forehead. As a subordinate female of the pack, she's still under the Luna's remit when it comes to chores and other perks, and judging from the tightness of Harla's lips, I'm no longer the only one on her shit list.

Harla sets a plate with a generous amount of rabbit meat and coleslaw on the counter next to me. "Why don't you take a break, Raelyn, and have your snack in the living room?"

Scared to thank her even verbally, I settle for a grateful smile before disappearing with the dish into the next room. Even though the food is delicious, my throat is clogged with rage. This is so embarrassing; Dante doesn't even show me enough respect to keep his lover away from the house we call our home.

"I'm taking Lara into the woods for a run and won't be back until tonight."

"I'll let your father know."

Not once has he taken me for a run outside my heat. I set the plate on the table, having lost my appetite. Though I shouldn't care since he's just a jerk, the blatancy of his contempt still bothers me.

The Luna appears in the doorway. "You may take a shower, if you'd like."

I nod to acknowledge her and give her another grateful smile. Up in my room, I peel out of the filthy clothes and wrinkle my nose at my disgusting body odor. My gaze shifts from the laundry basket to the garbage bin before I dump the old dress into the latter. It's ruined and even a truckload of laundry detergent won't be able to salvage it.

The hot water is like a salvation. As I lather my skin, the fresh smell of soap washes away some of my bitterness. A few tears still escape. I scrub myself clean over and over again in a futile attempt to kill my disgust and resentment, but the effort only leaves my skin raw and sore. Never in a million years did I expect that things in my new pack would be this bad. If my father had known, would he have still forced me to mate with Dante? Probably not, though deep down I know how desperate he was to avoid a war and preserve the pack.

When I step out of the shower, the small room is steamed up. I wipe over the mirror to catch a glimpse of myself but recoil when two arms wrap around me. Jos's aftershave flares my nostrils, quashing the shriek in my throat.

"Hell, you scared me."

"I'm sorry."

He traces his thumb along my jawbone and down my neck before running his fingers alongside my body. Quivering, I close my eyes and indulge in his gentle touch. My body is starving for affection. Cupping my breasts, he strokes me. His breath hitches and the hardness of his arousal against my naked butt draws out another tremble.

"I swear, if you weren't carrying my brother's pup, I would make love to you right here." Heat pulses under my skin as he covers my shoulder with little kisses.

"It's not meant to be, Jos."

"But would you let me?"

Since Dante is so obviously cheating with Lara, I should have the right to do the same. It still feels wrong, as if I'm selling my integrity for a stolen moment of happiness I'm not actually entitled to. "Honestly, I don't know."

"Well, I guess we'll never know." One more kiss and he drops his arms. "You should get dressed before Harla wonders where you are. And don't forget to take those drops."

"I left them in the barn."

"Don't worry, there are more in Dante's underwear drawer. You're not the only one who needs them these days."

No surprise there, though I'm not sure why my mate would even bother. Like he so eloquently put it—what he's been doing with Lara is not a big secret.

As if he could read my mind, Jos smiles. "The Alpha won't let him get away with it much longer. It's one thing if he showed some discretion, but my dad is not a big fan of rubbing his affairs into his mate's face."

"Dante brought Lara around earlier and didn't seem to care."

"Once you complete your punishment, things will be different. You are now carrying the Alpha heir, his grandchild. Once it's confirmed, my dad will put you on a pedestal and keep you there. You'll have all kinds of privileges."

Sounds like this could be my lucky break. "Let's hope so."

"Do you want me to come by tonight?"

"Yes." I get on my tiptoes and press a kiss on his lips. "And thanks for everything you've done for me."

~~~~~

© Sally Mason 2018

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