Alexander lay on his bed alone and stared at the ceiling. He felt as if he was caught in a wormhole of emotions. He couldn't have the man he loved and he thought it was unfair to continue his relationship with Pattisson. They would be docking on Capella Space Station tomorrow, perhaps he should apply for a couple of days leave and find some stranger to have mindless sex with. He had tried so hard to keep his love for Marc from destroying their friendship but the irony was he didn't know if it would survive this latest conflict in any case. After the violent emotional upheavals of the past few weeks, he didn't know if it was possible to be at ease with each other ever again.

Captain Ivanov had no problems with giving Alexander a couple of days leave.

"That's fine. You can help Major Pattisson escort Fraser down to Patrol headquarters, and then you're free for the next thirty six hours after that."

"Thank you, sir."

The Lieutenant hadn't seen Pattisson since their encounter in his cabin. He wasn't sure how he would be received, but the Major had his official face on as he arranged for the prisoner's transport, and they soon slipped back into their working relationship. Pattisson had half expected an attempt by Fraser's men to attempt a rescue, but nothing untoward occurred and they soon had Fraser safely housed in his new quarters on Capella.

Capella resembled nothing so much as a small city under a dome. The city was home to anything between two to three thousand people at a time, with apartments, hotels and shops as well as Patrol Headquarters. The dome was silver grey like the rest of the material used in building the station, but it gave inhabitants the illusion of openness, people could stroll around the streets as if they were planetside.

From space Capella looked like a large disc, it's edges crimped with docking bays and workshops, all catering for the space traffic which was its primary purpose.

"Can I have a word with you? Outside?" The Major came up quietly behind Alexander as he was leaving Headquarters.

"Of course, sir."

Both men were silent until they were out of earshot of anyone else.

The Major cleared his throat, "I was wondering if you were planning on going cruising tonight?"

Alexander stopped and stared at him.

The other man coloured slightly but pressed on, "Because if you were, I was wondering if I could come along."

To his surprise, Alexander felt a quick flash of hurt jealousy, so much for 'I think I'm falling in love with you'.

He tried to get over it. "Sure, why not? You'll have to wear civilian clothes of course," he reminded him. It was actually illegal for any crewman to wear uniform while out drinking or looking for a pickup, om or straight. "Where are you staying? I'm at the Blue Nova. "

"Me too," said Pattisson easily, at least he would be now, as soon as he could arrange it. He smiled blandly at the Lieutenant, now it was his turn to go hunting. "I'll meet you in front of Reception at 20:00?"

"Fine, I'll be there."

Alexander didn't recognise him. He hadn't seen Pattisson out of uniform before and he found himself checking out the slim man in black trousers and black silk shirt before he took a second look and realised it was Ethan. The Major had been wondering if the black silk was too much, but the heat in Alexander's eyes reassured him. He thought Jack looked pretty hot himself in his black trousers and favourite raw silk shirt. Pattisson was making a big effort to appear confident and avoid appearing too vulnerable, although he found himself staying close to Alexander as they walked through the narrow streets to the All Stars. He hoped this was going to work.

They pushed open the doors to find the place already full of hopeful men, drinking and laughing. The bar was going through a retro stage, with a human behind the bar as well as the customer console units in the centre of each table. Holodramas of famous moments in history played overhead, all starring unrealistically handsome men.

An hour later, Lieutenant Alexander sat morosely over his drink in the corner of the bar and watched the man he almost loved being chatted up by a young man with a pretty face and purple-dyed hair curling just below his ears. Except this time, his companion picked up the two drinks he had ordered, shook his head with a smile at the young man and headed back towards Alexander.

~~~

Pattisson had been watching Jack out of the corner of his eye, hoping for the slightest sign of jealousy and was psyching himself up to make his move.

"Here you are, Jack," he said putting the drinks down in front of him and sliding in next to him on the bench, sliding in so that his body was pressed hard against him. He leant even closer and said softly, "I have a proposition for you." He ran his forefinger lightly up the length of his thigh.

Alexander caught his breath and stared at him.

Pattisson spoke again. "How about we pick up each other tonight? No strings I promise, just sex, you can show me what to do." He ran his finger back down to Alexander's knee and let his hand rest there as he waited for his answer.

Alexander swallowed. "I thought it wouldn't be fair on you if we ... " his voice trailed away as the Major ran his hand up along the inside of his leg. "Uh."

"Jack, I'm forty years old," he broke off at Alexander's look of surprised disbelief. "Why? How old are you, thirty-two? Thirty-one?"

"Nearly," said Alexander. The Major waited. "Twenty eight."

Pattisson winced, "God, I'm almost old enough to be your father!"

Alexander laughed, "Not unless you were a very precocious teenager!"

"What I meant to say is that I'm old enough to take care of my own feelings. If you still want to have sex with me, and you're not just doing it to make Duran jealous, then I'd be really happy to go back to your hotel room with you right now."

"You don't need to worry about Marc, I don't think anything I do would make him jealous!"

"Are you sure about that? He looked pretty steamed up the last time we were together!" Pattisson wished he had kept his mouth shut. He didn't want to spoil his own chances by mentioning the other man.

Perhaps he could tip the scales his way again. He reached over and kissed him on the mouth. Alexander tasted of Amberi and cream like the drink he'd been sipping. He kissed him again, harder. Then he made the mistake of breaking off to have a sip of his own drink and looking up.

"Damn it! What the fuck is he doing here?"

He didn't realise he'd spoken aloud until he saw Alexander stare at him in surprise, he'd never heard the Major swear before, and turn to look around.

"Who?"

For one wild moment, Pattisson considered the possibility of grabbing Alexander by the arm and hauling him out of there. But it was too late, Mr Perfect was on his way over to them. The deep blue of his pants matched the exact colour of his eyes and the cream shimmer-shirt set off his copper hair so that it flamed in the poorly lit room.

"Hullo Jack, Pattisson." If looks could have killed, Duran would have been a pile of ash on the floor but luckily for him, Pattisson could only glare powerlessly. Fuck! He had been so close.

Alexander was looking warily at both of them.

Duran knew that he wasn't likely to get an invitation to join them, so he sat down uninvited. "I'm sorry to interrupt but I really need to talk to you Jack. I'm not going to make a scene, I promise."

"But I might!" growled Pattisson, half hoping Duran would take a swing at him again and be prevented from saying what he planned.

"I don't suppose I could persuade you to leave us alone for five minutes?"

"Not a chance!" replied Pattisson. He felt sick with disappointment, but he wasn't about to give up until Alexander told him in plain English that he didn't want him.

~~~

Duran had been observing them closely for the last half hour, daring to wonder if he had made a huge mistake when he had let Jack go without telling him how he felt. The truth was, that Jack and Pattisson were not behaving like lovers. Pattisson was in hot pursuit but it seemed to Marc as if he had not yet caught his quarry. And the look Pattisson was giving him now ... Good god, he realised. Pattisson was afraid. Afraid he was going to lose Jack.

He turned urgently to his friend, ignoring the Major. "Jack, I've asked Captain Ivanov for a transfer under Rule 158, but before I sign off on it I want to ask you if you think you could ever love me, as a lover, not a friend. I love you so much but I didn't realise it until I saw you with ... with someone else. I know you don't love me that way at the moment, but do you think you ever could, if I gave you time?"

Duran glanced at Pattisson. He was sitting there, motionless, as if there was nothing he could say or do to halt what was happening. He saw a brief, unguarded look of anguish cross his face and looked quickly away, he didn't want to feel any sympathy for his rival.

Alexander heard Marc's words as if from a distance, they were what he had most wanted to hear in the world. But god his timing sucked! He turned to Pattisson first, and saw the colour drain out of Marc's face as he thought he was going to choose the Major instead of him.

"I'm sorry, Ethan." The words fell like stones into Pattisson's heart. "I can't go with you. I'm in love with Marc."

Well, you couldn't get any plainer than that. For a second, Pattisson considered arguing but realised immediately that it wouldn't gain him anything except Alexander's embarrassment and his own humiliation. Time to be the gracious loser. He couldn't look at Duran.

"It's all right, Jack, I'll go." He tried to smile. "I've got a friend living nearby, I might try and catch up with her. Will you come outside with me to say good bye?"

"Of course." Alexander slid out after him. "Wait for me here," he told Marc.

The two men walked out in silence. Duran watched them anxiously, he wouldn't be able to believe what Jack had said until he told him again, when it was just the two of them.

"I'm sorry, Ethan," Alexander said again as soon as they were outside.

"Yes, well, not as sorry as I am!" Pattisson managed to pull a laugh from somewhere. "I hope everything works out for you, Jack, I really do. Good bye," he held out his hand. "No hard feelings."

Alexander shook his hand with a faint laugh. "No hard feelings," he agreed. He looked as if he wanted to give him a final embrace, but held off, respecting the distance Pattisson was putting between them. He watched him turn and walk away then he went back to Marc.

~~~

The Major walked around for half an hour, wondering whether to go to another bar and pick someone up, but he didn't want to hand over control of himself to a stranger. He hadn't felt an attraction to any of the men in the All Stars except Alexander. Maybe he should just accept that his brief walk on the wild side was over. He'd been given a taste of what passion could be, but he'd lived for forty years quite happily without it, surely he could do so again, right?

Admitting he was an om would have had serious implications for his life and career - which he had been willing to face if he had Alexander at his side - but now that was out of the question, perhaps he should just slip quietly back into his old life. He rang Johanna on his wrist com, he was certain she would be happy to catch up with him if she was free. For the first time since turning forty he felt old.