Cross-posted on Tumblr

Content: Amity has a hard time coming to terms with her gay awakening.

Luz had no idea what she'd done to warrant the cold shoulder she was getting from Amity. For two weeks, their time at Hexside had been giving them daily opportunities to bond. They only had one class together, what with Luz splitting her time between nine different Tracks, but her Abomination class was quickly becoming her favorite, simply because it meant she could pair with Amity for group work. At least a twice a week, they'd seek out each other at break instead of their other friends, go out to the bleachers by the Grudgby field, and just spend their twenty minutes of free time talking. Even at lunch, while they'd both opted to go on eating with their separate groups, they would at least wave at each other. But now, Luz was lucky if she even got a quick hello before Amity scurried away; more often than not, Amity just pretended not to see her.

It took three days of Luz trying to catch Amity and apologize for her unknown offence before she realized that it wasn't just her. Amity was giving Boshca and the rest of her posse the exact same treatment, and refusing to work with others in class unless it was absolutely mandatory. The most confusing part, though, was that when group work was mandatory, Amity completely bypassed friends wanting to work with her and simply sat down with an unsuspecting quiet boy and began their work. Luz didn't even know this boy's name, nor had she ever seen Amity talking to him before. She'd even gone up to him after class and asked if they were friends, but he'd told her that he and Amity barely knew each other, and that he was just as surprised as she was.

And so, four days into the silent treatment, Luz made it her personal mission to figure out what was going on. At break on Friday, Luz hurried from her Oracle class and made her way through the halls to the classroom she knew Amity would be leaving. By the time she got there, Amity was gone, but Boscha was standing by the door with another girl Luz had yet to properly meet.

"Have you guys seen Amity?" She asked, wilting slightly under Boscha's judgmental gaze.

"Her human friend. How cute," The young witch gave a fake chuckle. "Would you happen to know anything about why she's been so weird lately?"

"No," Luz didn't like Boscha's tone; it sounded like she was implying Luz might've had something to do with Amity's recent behavior. "I'm trying to figure it out. That's why I need to find her."

"Probably out by the Grudgby field again," Boscha turned back to her friend. "But if she won't talk to us, I don't know what makes you think she'll talk to you."

Luz let out a huff and marched to the nearest side door, biting down on her tongue to prevent herself from snapping at Boscha. She was just as much Amity's friend as anyone else! Even more so than people like Boscha, who weren't even trying to figure out what the problem was.

Luz stomped toward he Grudgby field, her eyes scanning the bleachers for any sign of Amity. There she was, on the first set, sitting in their usual spot with her knees pulled up and her face buried in them. Was she crying? Luz broke into a run, climbing up the bleachers so fast that she tripped and fell forward, catching herself on her hands.

"Amity!" She exclaimed as she got back to her feet. Amity looked up at her like a deer in headlights, tears streaming down flushed cheeks. "What happened?"

"Go away!" Amity snapped, desperately wiping at her eyes as if to regain some dignity, though in reality she was just smudging her eyeliner. Her ears sank into a downward position, not unlike an irate cat.

"Amity-"

"Why can't you just leave me alone?!" Amity shouted, and despite her words, Luz reached out for her. Amity shrank away and hissed; an actual, legitimate hiss, showing off pointed canines. Luz had seen those before, but she'd never seen them used as a warning to stay away; part of her wondered if Amity would bite if provoked, but the rest of her trusted Amity not to harm her.

"Because I'm your friend," Luz plopped down beside Amity, hesitantly resting a hand on her shoulder. Amity shrugged her off with a grunt and buried her face in her knees again, presumably to avoid eye contact. "I want to help you. Please, Amity, what's going on?"

"I can't tell you," Amity mumbled miserably, her voice muffled by her legs. "You'll think less of me."

"I could never think less of you," Luz promised softly. Had Amity done something? That wasn't like her, she was typically a model student. "You don't have to tell me if you really don't want to, but I promise that if you do, I won't judge you."

Amity turned her head so that her cheek rested on her knee, showing Luz her face. She seemed to consider for a moment, her ears sinking even farther as she sat up.

"Something is wrong with me," She finally croaked. Luz's shoulders tensed with worry as Amity paused, seemingly unable to continue for a moment. "Recently, I've been a having these... thoughts. About other girls. The kind of thoughts I'm supposed to have about boys."

Luz waited for Amity to continue, but it seemed that was it.

"That's what's wrong with you?" She asked. Amity gave her a look, like she'd just asked the dumbest question in the world. "Amity, there's nothing wrong with that. You're just a lesbian."

"I'm NOT!" Amity's voice rose to a scream as she straightened, her ears shooting up. Luz winced and Amity softened, letting out a sigh. "Sorry, just- I'm not gay. I can't be gay."

"Why can't you? Is your family not accepting?" Luz asked. She'd never though much about what it might be like to grow up in an unaccepting household. She'd been blessed with a mother who, despite constantly pushing her to be normal, never judged her bisexuality.

"I'm sure the twins would be fine," Amity sighed. "They might tease me a little, but nothing genuinely cruel, especially not after the library incident. Its my parents that I'm worried about. I have no idea how they'd react, but I'm pretty sure that it would at least disappoint them. I'm supposed to be perfect."

"You can be perfect and gay, but you don't have to be perfect," Luz scooter closer to Amity, half-expecting her to shy away, but she stayed where she was. "There's nothing wrong with you liking girls. If your parents would judge you for who you love, then I'm sorry, but they're not good people. You shouldn't have to be ashamed, Amity."

"But I am ashamed," Amity muttered, averting her eyes. "You have no idea what this feels like."

"Of course I do," Luz leaned in close, like she was telling Amity a secret. "I like girls too. Well, girls and boys, but you get the idea."

"Wait, really?" Amity meet Luz's eyes uncertainly. "And nobody judges you?"

"Well, I haven't told many people on the Boiling Isles yet, but so far, no." Luz shrugged. "Like I said, there's nothing wrong with it, some people are just hateful."

"Thank you," Amity sighed and gave Luz a little smile. "And I'm sorry for being so cold recently, I just thought that maybe, if I stopped hanging out with girls, I would stop liking them."

"You don't have to stop," Luz took Amity's hand in her own, running her thumb over the back of it. Amity's face flushed, the tips of her ears turning pink as they tilted ever so slightly downward. "Coming out can be really hard, but when you're ready, I'll be more than happy to help you through it."

"How are you such a good friend?" Amity chuckled and leaned in to rest her head on Luz's shoulder

"I just want people to be happy," Luz reached into the pocket of her cowl and produced a nearly empty packet of tissues, holding it out to Amity. "Your eyeliner's smudged." Amity took a tissue and began dabbing at the black marks around her eyes. "So... do you like any girl in particular?"

"Yeah," Amity smiled warmly, glancing up at Luz in a way that made her heart flutter. "She's so nice, and she's always there for me when I need her. I'll tell her soon, but not yet. I'm not ready yet."

Luz couldn't help but wonder if Amity was talking about her, which then led to her wondering if that was a selfish thought. Now wasn't the time to be thinking about her own chances, but who else could it be? Clearly, Boscha and the rest of the popular girls weren't too concerned with Amity's wellbeing, seeing how Luz was the only one who had actually tried to figure out what the problem was.

"Well," Luz put an arm around Amity's shoulders. "Whoever she is, she'll be lucky to have you."

Suddenly, the sound of the school bell reached Luz's ears, signaling the end of break.

"We're gonna be late!" Amity finished removing the last of the eyeliner from her face and stood up, shoving the crumpled tissue inside her cowl. "Thank you again, Luz. And please don't tell anyone about this."

"Of course," Luz replied as she stood. "I won't say a word, I promise."

Amity flashed one more smile, her canines seeming much less threatening this time around, and started down the bleachers. Luz followed, glad to be able to get near her again. Those four days of being ignored had been hell, especially with the recent closeness between them.

If nothing else, it had certainly reminded Luz how much she valued Amity's presence in her life. Once her walls were down, Amity was one of the best friends Luz had ever had, though she hoped that one day they might be more. She had no real way of knowing who had caught Amity's fancy until Amity decided to say it, but a girl could dream. Regardless of what happened next, at least Luz now had a much better chance than she'd ever thought she would.