3/29 8:31 a.m.

I know the feeling of finding yourself stuck on the ledge

He had had worse days.

Today wasn't a good day, but he had had worse.

The day was cloudy and dark. He'd rather have rain, because at least there's a way to describe the weather. Right there, at that moment, it was just gloomy. Clouds shrouded the sun and Taehyung couldn't stand it.

He swore under his breath as soon as he walked outside.

It was cold.

3/29 8:49 p.m.

And there ain't no leaving from cutting yourself with a jagged edge.

Taehyung went home later that night and called Jungkook in tears.

"What's wrong?"

Taehyung's hand trembled as he dropped the blade.

"I cut too deep."

3/29 9:21 p.m.

I'm telling you that it's never that bad, taken from someone who's been where you're at.

Jungkook sat Taehyung down on the carpet and wrapped up his wrist.

"Why, Tae? Why?"

"Because I don't want to live anymore."

"Don't say that," Jungkook whispered, bringing his arm around Taehyung's shoulder. "It hurts when you say that."

Taehyung sighed, "It hurts me too."

3/30 2:54 a.m.

Laid out on the floor and you're not sure you can take it anymore.

And when Jungkook left that night, Taehyung couldn't sleep.

His arm throbbed with every move.

And his heart broke a little bit more with every breath.

He took a few deep breaths, ran his finger over the slits on his arm, and got up.

He texted Jungkook.

I'll be in the forest. Where we always meet up.

3/30 9:26 a.m.

So just give it one more try.

He woke up when Namjoon shook him awake.

"Hey, get up. Let's have some fun."

He grabbed Namjoon's wrist and let him pull him up.

He looked around.

Yoongi, Jungkook, Namjoon, Hoseok, and Jimin.

They were all here.

3/30 2:45 p.m.

With this lullaby and turn this up on the radio.

They drove for hours straight to the beach.

3/30 3:01 p.m.

I'm reaching out, to let you know that you're not alone.

Namjoon brought Taehyung back away from the rest of the boys.

"Jungkook told me about yesterday."

"About what?"

"Don't hurt yourself."

"I feel alone."

Namjoon hesitated before whispering, "But you're not."

3/30 3:05 p.m.

And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell cause I can't get you on the telephone.

So just close your eyes.

Taehyung looked deep into Namjoon's eyes.

"I know about Hoseok. And I know about Yoongi and Jungkook and Jimin."

"You don't know about Jin. Or me."

Taehyung leaned backwards into the wall.

"Jin's dead."

He released a shaky breath.

"Just know you're not alone." Namjoon flashed him a smile. "I have spray paint. Want to go?"

"Go where?"

Namjoon's smile got bigger and the constant twinkle in his eyes brightened.

"Nowhere."

3/30 6:17 p.m.

Your very own lullaby.

"Vandalism, motherfucker."

Taehyung smiled nostalgically at the outline of a human shadow on the alley wall.

"We did this to Jin." He smiled and looked up at Namjoon.

Namjoon grinned back.

And when Taehyung was looking away, painting more, he wiped away a tear.

Soon after, Taehyung felt a hurried tap on his left shoulder.

"What?"

"The cops, you clueless bastard, the cops!"

He grabbed Taehyung's wrist.

"Run." His voice rose to a shout as the sirens wailed closer. "Run!"

And so they ran, spray painting every wall they passed by until the cops had lost them within the city lights.

3/30 9:37 p.m.

Let me take you, out of the darkness and into the light.

"Well, where were you two?" Yoongi sat back.

"Probably making love to each other," Jimin teased, dodging Taehyung's fist with a smile.

"The cops are after us." Namjoon grinned, sitting back with his coffee.

"Because you were making out in public, I presume?"

"Jimin, you fucking bastard!" Taehyung laughed and pushed Jimin away, laughing harder when he fell.

"What are we doing tomorrow?" Hoseok asked. "And why are we sleeping in Namjoon's truck?"

Jungkook pulled the covers over his head and closed his eyes. "We're going to the boardwalk." He said. "To just walk."

timeless

Cause I have faith in you, that you will make it through another night.

Taehyung remembered the day Jungkook found him half dead in his bathroom.

For weeks following that afternoon, Jungkook had left post-its around his house.

Smile today.

It's okay to not be okay.

I love you.

Don't die tonight.

He had kept all of those messages and left them in a folder.

3/31 6:19 a.m.

Stop thinking about the easy way out.

The sun was rising when they made it to the end of the boardwalk.

6:23 a.m.

There's no reason to go and blow the candle out.

Taehyung saw a ledge at the top of a series of platforms.

One thought went through his head.

This is where I'm going to do it.

He started to climb up.

6:27 a.m.

Because you're not done.

He was at the top now.

Below him was endless lengths of water.

Dark, turquoise water.

If the impact didn't kill him, he would die anyways.

He didn't know how to swim.

6:28:01 a.m.

You're far too young.

He breathed hard.

And ran.

6:28:38 a.m.

And the best is yet to come.

He never saw the best of his life.

He knew he never would.

Because he was falling now.

And now he was in the water, struggling to swim up.

He had read somewhere before that most people who jumped off bridges into water didn't drown to death.

The impact hitting te water usually killed them, because the water pressure makes it no different from pavement.

The impact clearly hadn't killed him yet, but everything hurt like hell, and he was running out of air.

Couldn't move.

Couldn't swim up.

Couldn't breathe.

He regretted jumping as soon as his feet left the ground.

"Oh god," he thought,

"This is it."

He didn't feel anything once his heart stopped

6:28:32 a.m.

Jungkook jumped into the water.

By the time his hands reached Taehyung and wrapped around his waist, he was already dead.

4/21 11:34 p.m.

Your very own lullaby.

Jungkook walked out into the street in front of a car.

Full speed.

A tear was running down his cheek as the car came.

timeless

Lullaby.

[song: lullaby by nickelback]