In your head (part 4)

It was late, the breeze was cold and the night was quiet aside from the rippling water below the two. Adrien has snuck out after 'going to bed' for the night and met with Luka on the bridge nearby the houseboat. Luka promised he'd explain everything he saw inside Adrien's head. And he did. In extensive detail, Luka didn't leave out any details. Adrien wasn't sure how to react, how would you in such a situation anyway?

Your crush was inside your mind, talked to a bunch of different aspects of yourself and now knew about your innermost troubles and thoughts. While Adrien felt he could trust Luka of all people with this kind of thing, it was still odd to know what exactly was going on inside your mind when it's influenced my magic, your complex brain functions being personified to represent all the aspects of yourself. Adrien wasn't surprised at all that melancholy and rage were the first two to show up behind his mask, that's often what he felt after all.

Knowing his inner child needed to be healed was news to him, he didn't even know that having an inner child was a thing. He expected love to be loving, because under all his trauma he still loved those who meant something to him. And comfort, Luka never managed to get there, so neither of them knew what that aspect of him would be like. Adrien had answers, but he still had a lot of questions, ones Luka probably wouldn't have since he only saw so much of his mind. In a weird way, Adrien felt some kind of closure though. Like he finally knew what was wrong and what needed to be addressed to heal.

"And yeah... that's everything. It was surreal, very surreal..." Luka sighed, leaning against the railing on the bridge.

They sat with their legs through the gaps in the fence, hanging off the edge and arms leaning on the railing watching the water of the canals flow past and the street lights reflect off it. It was calming, quiet, only the two of them.

"Wow... I knew I was mentally fucked up but... wow" Adrien replied.

"You gave every right to be after going through all the shit you have. But it's not the end of the world, it'll get better. And I'll help as much as k can, promise. I know how to go about it now" Luka replied.

"Thank you, man I really needed this. Someone who knows everything, I can't do shit if I don't have someone to vent to or get advice from. Although inner me is right, you're not the therapist friend. My mental shit isn't your responsibility, you don't have to help with everything. Just what you can"

"I know, I know. I want to help you through. I'll do what I can ok?"

Adrien could live with that, he was grateful to Luka for his willingness to help. But he also didn't want to trauma dump on him. He had faith they'd find a balance though, they always did.

"So uh... about you know-" Adrien began.

"The kiss?" Luka cut in.

"Y-yeah, that. Obviously you know about well... how I feel. But please tell me you didn't see anything embarrassing in there"'

"No, no. I just saw some tears and got an earful from melancholy about heartbreak and stuff. I'm sorry Adrien, if I'd had known the feelings I had weren't one sided I'd have said something sooner"

"Don't blame yourself-"

Despite the anxieties he'd felt about Luka not liking him back, now he knew everything he did he felt kind of stupid. He was worrying for nothing, of course Luka liked him back! Now he knew, he could look back and see all the signs. Hindsight is 20-20 they say.

"I've just got... issues. That's what made me overthink and get myself so heartbroken and worked up over it. You didn't know, it's ok" Adrien said.

"Still, if I HAD known, then know I would have had something much sooner. Saved you all that stress" Luka replied.

Adrien signed, turning to face Luka and giving him a tired smiled. He looked so pretty in the moonlight, tired from a long day and wrapped up on his fluffiest jacket to combat the cold. How did Adrien get so lucky?

"Let's just forget about all the complicated crush problems and just be boyfriends now, hm?" Luka suggested.

"I'd like that" Adrien smiled.

Luka took that chance to steal another kiss, this time more gentle and raw than the rushed one they had in hero suits. Luka caressed Adrien's cheek as he drew closer, and Adrien's hand fell atop his free one. Their lips touched, Luka's snake bite lip rings were cold to Adrien's lips from the temperate they'd collected from the air. But as they pressed between his and Luka's lips, they warmed up.

Luka had a sneaking suspicion that when he got back home, Jueleka would pull the 'oooh Luka's got a boyfriend' card, since the bridge was indeed possible from the window of the boat. If he'd been spying from the same spot when she first kissed Rose, no doubt she'd be spying on him too.

When the kiss broke, Adrien leaned his head into Luka's chest and was engulfed in the worlds safest hug. He felt like everything was going to be ok, finally he had someone that knew everything and someone who could help him. He didn't have to hide anything from Luka. Not his hero identity, not his civilian identity, not his sexuality or trauma. He was an open book, and luckily it was someone trustworthy that read his pages.

"Everything'a going to work out, it'll be ok" Luka assured.

"As long as I have you, I know it will" Adrien replied.

"I'm just glad you trust me"

"You know if it was anyone else inside my head, I'd probably have not let them get as far as you did. You're the only one I can truly trust"

Luka gave him a reassuring squeeze, and a gentle kiss on the forehead. And with a smile, he told Adrien exactly what he needed to hear. 

"I love you Adrien. And I'll never break that trust, promise..."

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