THIS IS JUST FOR FUN WOOOO! I never do this but like figured I might as well try it out.

update: i made portraits on artbreeder instead of writing this OR my research paper thxxx

the main weirdo

LUCY SCHRAAN: Very awkward lil' bean. Thinks about jokes, does not share them. Most likely to quietly chuckle about other peoples' references without acknowledging them. #gaypanic. If math was a person, she would obliterate them (with fire) (like, A LOT of fire). Is terrified of accidentally running over an animal and not realising it. Is very prone to saying "no" right away because, like, time commitments. Saying "no" gives her +2 anxiety. Tries to snuggle with her very ugly dog, Elmo, whenever she's upset. Usually a very slobbery backfire. Creates playlists to ease her anxiety. Spends way too much time reading Tumblr reblogs, gives zero craps.

los friendos

IZZY TORRES: Lucy's childhood best friend. Is still obsessed with middle-grade books (Leo Valdez, baby). Will wear shorts and oversized sweatshirts no matter what the temperature. Curly dark hair that she constantly complains about but still keeps long (like, butt-length) — if it's tied up, you know she means business. Will randomly start singing to herself in Spanish sometimes; everyone is used to it. Usually gets the lead in school productions, especially musicals, because she has the voice of an angel. Never wears makeup (minus stage makeup), but does have a very shiny chapstick she always wears. Is the first person to threaten to murder someone for you. Very physical — hugs, playful punches, shoulder grabs, etc. Tiny, but will yeet you.

MOIRA DAVIS: Very out-spoken and eloquent. Puts up with no bullshit. Tends to speak for Lucy when she's too scared to speak for herself. According to Lucy, has the best music taste in the world. Blonde pixie cut, thick black framed glasses. Palest bitch you ever did see. Always to be found in loose, tied blouses and high-waisted pants (her fashion icon is Ellie Sattler from Jurassic Park, but without the blood and tears from Act III). Has to study hard because academics don't come easily to her, but is the best head of tech you've ever met. Loves Erased. Screams in her car when she's upset, kinda works.

ALISTAIR ANTONOFF: So gay, practically has rainbows flying out from his skin (it's amazing — we stan a prideful child). Gives praise to Queen Bey before each meal; has the best nail, hair, and skin care regime you've ever seen; is the first to offer to do your makeup. Wears whatever he feels like (low-key chaotic Pretty in Pink energy). Is a very sympathetic, wise soul (but also: ADHD to the max). Has a massive crush on Clay (it's fine. Probably) and hates himself for finding his "masc hipster douchenugget" vibes so damn appealing. Has a fascination with Bollywood films and crime novels (will randomly gasp at lunch in the middle of some intense murder conflict). His favourite person is his mom, and they have an at-home spa date every other Saturday.

CLAY JOHNSON: Mr. Outdoorsy Boots. Is the universal teacher's pet and yet puts no effort into it. (Like, no teachers tell him to take his beanies off. Lucy is convinced that blond flo is balding on the top.) Debate kid, can be found reading random books by random White dudes at pretty much all times. Never talks with anything except grunts if his nose is in a book — other times, argues with a surprisingly deep voice. Lucy thinks he's a bit weird, but he's never done her any wrong, so she can't complain. He secretly has a fear of making friends and opening up, and he also has a massive crush on Izzy (it's fine. Probably).

MARIGOLD "MARI JUDE" LAW: Has been a movie nerd since the beginning of time, elevates everyone's pop culture references with her mere presence. Wavy brown hair and light green eyes, looks like a faerie model. Is on the heavier side and is super tall — her older, practically identical sister goes to the local regular high school and plays football/wrestling. Will try and talk to you no matter what. Unbelievably sweet. Allergic to peanut butter but has a strange craving of the smell. Wears jeans and sweatshirts when not in a romper. Is obsessed with shoes. Just does makeup for productions so that she can go to cast parties and chill with her friends, but has a fear of the stage. Is debate co-captain (with Clay) and is obsessed with moral ethics. Is the official Clay Translator. Definitely class '22 salutatorian.

NORTH CHASE: He will laugh with you about his name. Is student council vice president and is so over-involved, if you mention it he'll probably burst out crying. (Like, really snotty crying.) Is the king of self-deprecating jokes. Like Lucy, is terrified of relationships, but it's fiiiine. (Probably.) Always wears jeans and various school activity shirts — everyone is convinced that he owns nothing else (although he does have a few suits that he has to wear ridiculously often — he's on the interp team). He's a little bundle of joking stress, and no one is sure how to feel about it, but it's fiiine. Dark brown hair, needs a trim, is disastrously curly. Rose-cheeked and strong of forearm (percussionist). Is too tall to know what to do with his height.

XENIA COOK: Dyes her straight hair every other week (Ramona Flowers energy, but like, not toxic). Is a tech booth child — will only leave her blanket and the sanctuary to yell at insolent actors. Has a nose ring that she constantly fiddles with when she's stressed. On the gayest-ass side of TikTok but is somehow straight (like, is a man-aniser, you guys). Wears a lot of dresses and tights and cardigans, giving her this edgy cottagecore vibe. Wears badass makeup that brings out the olive of her skin (could make you look like anything with makeup, tbh). Will not tell you she has an issue with you, will simply ignore you. Really only talks to Izzy and Mari. Always has one airpod in.

definitely cute people

ASHLEY "ASH" KAGAWA: Only 4'11 but will totally kick your ass if she needs to. Usually quiet, low-key hard to converse with, but if she likes you, she'll talk to you nonstop. Seems to know something about everything. Definitely going to be valedictorian. Is a prodigy, yet is super low-key about it. (Literally, Spencer Reid has nothing on her. By three IQ points.) Wears sweatshirts with flannels. Shoulder-length dark hair is always a mess, oftentimes in a ponytail. Has "grandpa glasses," as she calls them. Blushes very easily. Has a love of making her own jewelry (girl's gotta do the self-care somehow). Doesn't have time to think about relationships — doesn't even have time to bake, like she used to love to do. Allergic to cats but would def buy a whole kitten orphanage.

LIA LAFOLETTE: Is a little snippy at times but is always the first to compliment your outfit. A wiry goddess with a hooked nose and curly brown hair. Doesn't always realise how curt/blunt she is. Very talented, funny actress. Humorous interper, MVP every year without fail. Looks unbelievably hot in a suit. Wears heels to make her look even taller. Really, big ol' fashionista. Will do anything for pizza. Holds fast to promises, hard to grudges. Has a hard time understanding her courses at times but will always find someone to ask for help (very often her best friend, Emara Ahmad — ignore all the rumours about the two of them). Could flirt her way out of an alien invasion.

GENE MANN: Literally the only jock at this school. One of the two drum majors, super into Science Olympiad, and is obsessed with tennis (arguably a very nerdy sport, unfortunately for him). Very buff but in an approachable way. Shorter than Lucy, but has had to carry her whenever she hurts herself in gym (it's an embarrassing amount. The gym teachers just have her run laps now, because she doesn't suck at it. They should never have tried to make her spike that volleyball). Wiry brown hair that is surprisingly soft, makes all jeans look disturbingly good. The class clown in choir, but in a very hypeful, supportive way. Is the first to offer you a ride home in the rain. All-around teddy bear.

Here goes nothing, my dudes. ;)