Girl in the Mirror - Megan Moroney

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CHARLIE

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As I stand here watching that beautiful bastard hold Belle perfectly in his perfect, stupid arms, I want to rush over there and strike up a conversation with him and ask him how he's been. My pride had glued my feet to the floor, afraid to move. I don't want to get closer, but nowhere else exists at this moment.

My eyes connect with his, and the smile he supported while looking at Belle slowly fades as his eyebrows furrow together in concern. He can't walk in this house and demand I fall at his feet and speak to him. It defies every hateful thought I have told myself for six months.

I break away from our stare and turn around, walking into the kitchen. I grab a beer from the fridge, chugging it desperately for it to turn into any feeling besides this one. I rub my temples as my thoughts begin to kill my head. I walk outside, sit on the porch rocking chair, and stare at the sky, begging anyone to advise me.

My prayers are answered as the front door opens again, revealing a worried Knox. "You okay?" He closes the door and grabs the seat next to mine.

I cover my eyes with my hands, my elbows on my thighs, "I spent six months getting over him just for him to show back up, and every feeling I have for him has returned." It was the truth. I told myself to hate him for what he did. I never told myself to fall out of love. It's not like he didn't have an excuse to leave. His reason was self-explanatory. He needed to go. I hate that he left me.

"Charlie, maybe just talk to him. He truly has gotten better. If he hadn't, he wouldn't have stepped foot on this farm where a part of his world died. He wouldn't come here, secretly hoping you would show up."

"I'm just so tired of crying over him. I can't do it anymore, Knox." My eyes began to burn again at the thought.

His hand reached over to me, prying my hands off my eyes, making me look at him, "Just talk to him. It doesn't have to be about what happened. It can be anything. This way, you can feel if you still want or have gotten over him and just haven't noticed."

I sigh, wiping under my eyes as a teardrop escapes my cheek. "Okay." He squeezes my hand slightly, leaving me alone in silence once again. I chug the rest of my beer and stare at the stars, wishing it was November and we were still in love, dancing around his kitchen.

I take a deep breath, stand up, and slowly twist the doorknob to enter the house again. I glanced in the kitchen to see if he was in there; he wasn't. I walk into the living room, taking a deep breath. I look up to see he has disappeared from the couch. Brooke smiles at me, patting the seat next to her. I take it, resting my head on her shoulder, "Where's Belle?"

"She started crying, so Colt took her outside for a minute." I closed my eyes, thinking that was the sweetest thing a man could do. His being so good with kids makes me want to kiss him. Her hand rests on my knee, "Go talk to him."

"I will; that's what I came in here for." I kiss the back of her hair, stand up, and walk to the back door, where the screen door was opened.

I see him standing in the grass, slowly dancing with Belle in his hands, as he sings her "Isn't She Lovely" in a soft voice. He never told me he could sing. I watch him from the screen door, not daring to open it and disturb him. I know the creek of the door would put all the attention on me, and it's on Belle right now. After Belle's cries stop and he stops singing, I quietly open the door, it barely creaking. He doesn't turn to me; I don't think he heard me.

I lean against the column and watch him stare at the building next to the house, the barn. "I didn't know you could sing."

The ends of his lips curve upwards as he turns to me, "You never asked."

He is the same smart ass he's always been. I point to the door, "I'll just go inside."

He walks closer and shakes his head, "No, don't. Let me go give her back to her owner. Be right back." He walks past me, and I slowly breathe the smell of leather, the scent of him.

It takes me a moment to realize what he said, and I roll my eyes. "Owner?" I questioned out loud, though he was already inside. I smile at his joke and wait for him to return. I sit on the steps, resting my head on the column, and stare into the dark pasture lightened by the moon and stars.

The door opens and slams shut; I don't turn. The figure steps next to me, slowly sitting next to me. He hands me a beer, and I take it, "Thank you." He doesn't say anything as we sip the drinks in silence.

I am the one who speaks first, "How is Wyoming?"

"Cold as shit. I definitely took the Alabama weather for granted." I couldn't imagine. It was still probably still snowing there right now.

I take a long sip, wanting the awkwardness to disappear. "You still there?" I position myself where I can see his face. His beautiful face. With the stupid mustache, I loved to touch. I almost reach out and touch him. I don't.

"Yeah, though I'm sure Buck would love for me to go anywhere else. He's sick of seeing me," he pauses. "You want to go for a walk?"

I shrug, "Sure." I stand up, and we walk towards the arena. At least now, everyone can't hide and listen to our conversation.

We walk in silence as he stares at the dark arena. "I still haven't gotten on a horse or a bull." I don't respond because I'm unsure if he wants me to pity him. "I don't know why. I feel like that part of me is gone."

"People change."

He raises his beer, "I'll drink to that." He takes a long swig as I stare at him. "How's the new gig?"

He knows I started a new job? "It's great. I started on Monday. Did Brooke tell you?"

He nods, "She likes to keep me updated about you." He shakes his head and laughs to himself. Of course, Brooke keeps him updated.

I begin to adjust myself to speaking to him. "You know, if you want updates on me, all you gotta do is ask."

His eyes twinkled down at me as he smirked, "I didn't know I could still ask."

I playfully push him, "Of course, Colt. You're the one who stopped asking." He was the one who completely cut me off. Im pretty sure our last text message was one I sent to him.

"I figured you'd be better off without me annoying you." No. You never annoy me. I don't answer, so he speaks again. "It's good to see you, Charlie."

I genuinely smile at him, "You too, Colt."

"I better return you before they think I kidnapped you." They'd probably think we were fucking in my car. At this moment, that's the only thing on my mind. No more hate, just lust. Maybe it's just because I haven't gotten laid in a while.

We walk back to the house silently and part ways when we step inside. A smile forms on my lips at our professional conversation. I missed your stupid ass, Colt. Though, I don't know when I will see you again.