I don't quite remember falling to the floor; I don't remember screaming at him to come back, I don't remember trying to crawl up the tube after him. I know Molly and Mrs. Hudson were trying to calm me down, I remember pushing them away. I wouldn't let that stupid president take John; I wouldn't let him take my John. I woke up in my room with my spotty memories, the window open for the first time since I've gotten here. I was hugging my pillow and my head lay on the flat mattress, which automatically made my neck hurt. I didn't wait around, I didn't do the classic lying in bed for a while after you're unconscious, I immediately ran out the door and into the living room, where the only two members of the house, Molly and Mrs. Hudson, where sitting on the couch with a family size box of tissues. Mrs. Hudson had tea in her hands, but she wasn't sipping it, she was watching the TV, where they were showing the One boy fighting the Eleven girl. She was actually holding her own with a curved cavalry sword, and eventually he just gave up, moving on to pick off the weaker tributes.

"Sherlock!" Molly said suddenly. She didn't look too tear stained, so I'm guessing they were both alive for now.

"Is he okay?" I asked weakly, rubbing my arm where a dull pain was flaring.

"He made it out of the bloodbath with a backpack and a sword he picked up from a body." Mrs. Hudson said simply.

"Who's body?" I asked.

"The boy from Five." Molly said sadly. Greg's tribute, Jeff, I think, in the end I guess they were sort of allies.

"Irene's safe too, before you ask, she actually managed to worm her way in with the careers." Molly added.

"I actually wasn't too worried about her." I pointed out. I sat on the couch, wiping at my cheeks, which felt crusty with the tears.

"What happened?" I asked. The terrain was black rocks all around, there were little bushes spread out, but it seemed like volcanic had been the outcome. That wasn't good, food would be hard to find, shelter would be difficult, and water would be near impossible.

"It was actually quite scary, you started screaming and sobbing and tried to break the glass in the tube." Mrs. Hudson said.

"It's all kind of a blackout." I admitted.

"We had to get the peacekeepers in, they sedated you." Molly added. That would be why my arm hurt then. I watched the screen, the Six girl crawl under some rocks to avoid detection. I knew it wouldn't show John for a while since he had escaped. People wanted to see the blood and violence, not people running. Irene showed up for a minute, helping the Two girl try to take the Ten boy down. She didn't look scared, she barely even looked nervous, in fact she looked delighted to be killing off the competition, I found it sickening.

"She kissed me." I said simply, making both of them look at me like I was absolutely crazy.

"She what!?" Molly asked with shock.

"I didn't want to, but she did. Just thought I'd clear that up." I shrugged. It was never really a secret, but it was on my mind at the moment.

"Well that's quite unfortunate." Mrs. Hudson decided. I would've jokingly commented that she actually said something that could be taken as mean about another person, but now wasn't the time for smiles and laughs. It was miserable. There was silence after that, I guess I spoiled the mood, now we watched Irene and the Two girl finally get a good hit on the boy, striking his neck and hacking him down. The cannon didn't boom until the bloodbath was officially over, which might take a while. I could only hope these pathetic tributes would keep the Careers occupied for a while, giving John enough time to get as much distance away from them.

"It's volcanic, we figured that out." Molly said finally.

"I know." I muttered. I didn't want to say how John and I figured it out already, how I told him exactly how to survive this. I didn't even want to say his name in fear I'd start crying.

"Should we be out trying to find some investors?" I asked.

"We'll wait until after the bloodbath, tomorrow preferably. They don't want to put money into a tribute that can't even last the night." Molly said simply. I tried not to think that John might not. He would, he would survive, he'll kill those careers and win this bloody game. I watched as more and more blood spilt, people dying, screaming, the Careers completely wiping out whoever was trying to get their hands on the Cornucopia. I didn't know why it was called the Cornucopia; in fact I thought it was pretty much the opposite. If I was right, a long time ago they were supposed to hold food and stuff for peace offerings, now they held weapons for the death of innocent kids. I wanted to tap into John's mind right now, see what he sees, feel what he feels, I wanted to help him, guide him through this game like I did and help him win. But I knew that not only was that impossible, but completely against the rules and would get all of us executed. The Capital took these games way too seriously, not only were they for peace, but they rolled in thousands to millions of dollars each game. People flocked to bars, they invested, they bought signs and banners to support their favorites, it was pathetic. Even as a kid I was against the entire thing.

"Did you tell John?" Molly asked suddenly. I looked at her with a sad expression. I didn't want to talk about him now; I didn't want to think about him, I knew it would only amount in sadness. How she took my answer I couldn't tell, but she left the conversation. Caesar was reading off the list of the already dead while more were dying, just for people who had missed it. The list was quite long, which was both good and bad. It was good since there were less people to come after John, it was bad because the Careers would start hunting them down, Irene knew John was still alive most likely, and it gave him less choices for allies and less people to actually do the killing. The longer John could keep away the better, but I knew how traumatizing it was to take a life. It was what had caused most of my drug addiction and sleep deprives, it was the fact that I had been responsible for the death of another human, all he had wanted to do was survive. I could never get over that, no matter how many times I told myself that it was defending myself, and that was how it worked, I could never stop thinking he was just like me. I didn't want John to have to wrestle with those questions over and over again, just like I had to. This whole day seemed to only consist of downfalls; it was like a day dedicated to beating up on me, emotionally and physically. Mrs. Hudson left to go somewhere; I didn't look to find out, but a couple of minutes later she was back with two more tea cups and a plate of biscuits. Molly liked long talks and trust, and Mrs. Hudson thought tea and biscuits solved any problem life threw at you. I looked at the clock, it was 12:38, I had been out for a couple of hours, surprisingly. I had missed lunch, but I wasn't hungry, I didn't think I'd be able to eat all week just with nerves. That was another reason I had been successful in the games, I didn't need much food, water, or sleep, unlike all of the other tributes. They were starving to death when it was just like another day for me, eating simple leaves and roots and the occasional berry was enough to fulfill me for a day or two. Molly sipped her tea halfheartedly, she looked nervous not for herself, but probably for me. I seriously doubted that she was worried for Irene, that girl was pretty evil, but I knew she didn't want John to go down. She knew it was a rare thing for me to even have feelings, but someone I loved and sobbed over was someone who obviously had to be saved. I guess she'd come to accept that I'd never like her back. We sat on the couch until dinner arrived with the Avoxes, who brought less food than normal, considering we were two less people. I knew they would be cleaning the tribute's rooms down completely, which upset me. I didn't want to see all the proof that John had even been alive sanitized and removed. I didn't eat, but I sat at the table, saying the prayer and leaning on my elbows, watching the TV from here. The sun was starting to set; I hoped John was working on finding a nice safe place to sleep. I hope he was smart enough to pile some rocks around him, or roll in dust to camouflage the red stripes on the outfit. He had a sword, that was good, and a backpack must have all the necessary things to last at least a night. The only thing I was too worried about was water; it was very difficult to find in a volcanic terrain, the land would be very dry and barren. He must have some crackers or something in the bag, but those would only last so long without water.

"Are you going to eat something dear?" Mrs. Hudson asked. I didn't answer or do anything to show that I had heard her. I could almost sense a glance being passed by the two of them though, trying to tell each other telepathically not to disturb me, that I was emotionally unstable and suffering a loss. I hated how they were thinking negative, how I was thinking negative. It was almost like we had no confidence in him at all, like we were already having a gravestone engraved. I didn't want to see him again in a wooden box, laid to rest with his wounds still visible. As the sun sunk most of the way the cannons went off. I didn't count them until it was too late, but there were a lot. I could only hope John wasn't included. I went back to the couch, if they were tallying the dead then they'd start to show the living, just for confirmation that the actually were still alive. It started with the six girl, who was suffering a twisted ankle or something, tying a splint off with a piece of wood and a scrap of her shirt. Then it showed the Eleven girl, who was now hiding, like the others, in the crook of rocks. I guess she had made it out after all. Then, to my relief and excitement, John was shown. He was poking around another bed of black rocks, clearing out an overhang with his sword. When he was finished cleaning, the blade was covered in cobwebs and apparently a spider had tried to escape. He was now whacking it with the blade and jumping around, trying to step on it. In my opinion he was making way too much noise, but it brought a smile to my face when I thought it was impossible. After the spider was dead, John huddled in the shadows, dropping his bag under the rock and then the screen changed. I wanted it to go back to him, I needed to know that he was eating, that he was well hidden and getting the right amount of sleep. It changed to some guy from seven, who was still looking for a hiding place. He seemed paranoid, looking around and behind him almost every other second. It skipped around for a while, Caesar talking about upcoming events and advertising for companies and stuff. Most of the tributes were hidden now, except for the Seven guy, who was still looking around. It showed the Careers now on the hunt, Irene in their midst with a long sword and a dagger on her belt. They were all geared up, backpacks filled with as much food and supplies as they could carry and weapons enough to hold their own rebellion.

"So he's alright now?" Molly asked, sitting next to me on the couch.

"He got in a fight with a spider, but that was it." I said with a slight laugh.

"And Irene?" she asked.

"See for yourself." I muttered, gesturing to the screen, which now showed the Careers hunting down a poor girl, who was running for her life. Irene was among them, laughing and yelling at her tauntingly.

"Well I guess she made it in their ranks then." Molly muttered.

"That's not a good thing." I debated.

"It could be, until they're down to just them." She sighed. There was some silence.

"So, what happened, back before he went in?" she asked.

"We said goodbye." I said simply, squeezing my eyes shut to avoid more tears, if I had any left.

"Did you tell him?" she asked, the same question from before. I nodded silently, taking a deep breath and remembering the kiss. God, if only he weren't in the games, but it was still the best moment in my life.

"And then what?" she asked, a little bit quieter.

"I don't want to talk about it." I hissed, really not wanting to. I didn't need her all in my love life, even if it was close to being nonexistent, just the fact that she knew I liked him was much more than she should know.