“God! Sherlock, calm down! It’s me!” John’s voice hissed, not wanting to wake anyone else up.
“John, what are you doing here?” I asked, also whispering.
“Well, you didn’t show up, and then I heard something, or someone, fall, and that only meant that you were having a nightmare.” He pointed out. I relaxed a little bit, just his presence made this life not seem so bad.
“I’m fine, just a nightmare.” I lied.
“About?” John asked, but it wasn’t pushy, it was just like if you want to tell, you can.
“Fire. The fire in the arena.” I said truthfully, cautiously brushing the side of my leg with my fingertips. There were scars still there, healed, of course, but still visible.
“There’s no fire here Sherlock, don’t worry.” He assured.
“I know that, I’m not an idiot.” I hissed.
“Well…” John said with a sarcastic smile. I didn’t find that funny, this wasn’t exactly a time to joke around, my heart was racing and I could feel sweat on my brow.
“Sorry, too soon, I know.” He muttered. I nodded shyly in agreement. “Why are you in here though, the chair’s empty if you need it.” John pointed out.
“I know, I, uh, well you didn’t really tell me I was allowed, I didn’t want anything to get all weird.” I lied. It was already weird. John walked over to me and took both my hands this time, making my stomach jolt again.
“You’re okay Sherlock, don’t worry.” He said again. I almost felt like he was about to kiss me right here, we were barely a couple of inches apart; it would only be so easy.
“Did you get burned in the arena?” he asked. I nodded again, it hadn’t been nearly as traumatizing, but it certainly left its mark.
“I don’t remember that, form the games I mean.” He said.
“Well you’re lucky.” I laughed. My hands felt like lead in his, I just couldn’t move them, he might pull away… “Sorry for hitting you with a tissue box.” I added, as if that was something I had to apologize for.
“It’s fine, I know you were paranoid.” he said with a small smile. I had to admit, it was tempting. He was right here, even if it wasn’t a pure love kiss, it might be nice. We were practically the biggest bromance I’ve ever heard of; why not experiment a little bit? To be honest, I have never kissed any one before, and John looked like a nice first. He seemed to understand me, he didn’t laugh at me when I fell out of bed at whatever time it was, he didn’t run out screaming when I sort of attacked him, he was the bravest person just to be standing here with me now. I knew I couldn’t get attached to tributes, I knew that it was a waist of heart, but maybe Molly was right, maybe my heart had been wasted long ago.
“Do you want to come back over?” he asked.
“If that’s okay.” I mumbled shyly. I really wanted to, of course, but I didn’t want to seem clingy and desperate. I thought I was almost giving off the impression that I couldn’t be alone when I slept, which was partially true. Not just anyone could ward off the nightmares, as far as I knew; only John could do that. Just my luck that he was going to get thrown to the same fate I had. He looked up at me one last time, our faces so close, his lips right there, all I had to do was lean in… and he stepped back, still holding one of my hands and leading me out the door. I guess hand holding was sort of like our thing now; it certainly calmed me down, assured me that someone was there, someone that could protect me. I followed obediently, feeling like a dog being dragged by its master, but at the moment I wasn’t complaining. His bedroom door was still open, as if he had rushed to get to me, which really made me feel special. At least someone had my back here. I sat back down on the leather chair, starting to feel like it was home away from home. John lay in his bed, his hand still wrapped around mine and his hazel eyes looking at me with warmth.
“Are you okay now?” he asked.
“As much as I’ll ever be apparently.” I decided. He smiled, as if I was in some way amusing. I think he saw me as more of a little kid than anything, he’d never want to kiss me even if I was interested, which I wasn’t.
“I miss home.” He decided.
“So do I.” I agreed.
“I miss my family, my house, my own bed, and that stupid goat at one in the morning.” he laughed, but it was a sad laugh.
“I don’t have anything to miss, but it’s a lot better than here.” I admitted.
“But, I don’t wish it never happened, just that something canceled the games and I didn’t have to go in.”
“You actually wanted your name to be pulled?” I asked with shock.
“Well, I’d never have this whole experience would I? I’d never be famous, never see the capital, never meet you.” He added, as if that as the most important thing about it.
“I’m not that important.” I shrugged, but I smiled at the complement that somehow warmed my heart.
“I think you’re perfect.” He assured.
“Now I know you’re sleep talking.” I laughed. Gosh, this would be perfect, right here, just kiss him, or, what if he was the one to kiss me? Oh god that would be perfect.
“Stop hating yourself Sherlock, you know as well as I do that you’re brilliant.” He assured. I felt myself blush, he thought I was perfect. I pulled my blanket up to my chin again, wanting to stay up and talk to him all night. But his eyes closed, and after a while his breathing slowed and I knew he had fallen asleep. He had called perfect, and brilliant, and why in this whole world did he have to go to the games? Take me instead, take anyone in the world, but leave this poor, saint like boy alone. I was terrified for him, if he died, what would I do? Molly was right, Molly was bloody right.

                I woke up first this time. John was still snoring peacefully with his head buried in his pillow, but facing me. The clock read 7:24, so we had plenty of time to get him to training at ten. I put my head back down on the chair and tried to close my eyes, but last night’s events came crashing back to me. It felt awful yet beautiful to admit to myself that maybe, just maybe in this stone cold heart of mine there was a spot for John Watson. I hated proving myself wrong and having Molly be right, it was always the other way around, I was the smart one. I had never liked anyone before, I had no idea what to do, what was I supposed to do? I knew that people flirted and tried to get close to them. I had no idea what I was doing, or how to flirt or anything. Maybe Mrs. Hudson could help, or Molly? No, I couldn’t let her know that she was right; I had been so mean to her about it. Maybe it would be better to ask; maybe it would help her forgive me? She didn’t know I was gay, but in all fairness neither did I, but something about John made my heart open up, and all I wanted to do was let him know. He deserved some last happiness before getting shipped off to the death games. I think Mrs. Hudson would go blabbing, so at the moment, as much as I didn’t want to, Molly was my best bet. The first signs that showed he was waking up were that his fingers started twitched, tightening against my fingers and sending sparks up my arm. His eyes opened and the hazel bore into my soul, making my heart do that stupid flopping thing in my chest.
"Good morning.” he said with a sleepy smile.
“I guess you could say that.” I agreed.
“Time for another fun training day huh?” he asked, groaning.
“Remember the terrains?” I asked.
“Volcanic, Polar, and, uh, rocky shores!” he said confidently.
“Try to work off those the best you can, I know you did the who survival thing, so try attacking today.” I decided. Even though I sounded okay, my tongue twisted and my heart was throbbing. Just the fact of realization made everything so much more awkward.
“I’ll do my best.” He agreed, sitting up in his bed and letting go of my hand. It felt a lot colder without his presence, lonely. But I got up as well, ruffling my hair and searching for my robe. I guess I hadn’t grabbed it before, so I just stood there awkwardly shirtless. It didn’t seem to affect John in anyway though; he was going about his business as usual, bringing his clothes in the bathroom to change. I sat in the empty room, trying to figure out what on earth to do with myself. This was new, new and terrifying. When he came back out he was dressed in the district twelve training outfit, looking very much like I did last year. I didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing though.
“You look stylish.” I laughed.
“So do you.” He agreed. I blushed from the neck up. “Sarcasm, you don’t have to look so scared.” He assured. I smiled weakly, but turned towards the door. He walked past me and opened the door, walking back out into the living room. I ran quickly to get my robe, tying it securely around myself and joining him in the living room. It was just starting to get light out, and we were the only two up now. John turned on the TV again, and once again there was nothing on, but he settled with the news. Obviously it was a slow news day, because they were doing a report on the best type of decorated turtles. Once again, this is what had happened to our society.
“Any other tips you can give me?” he asked.
“About training, or just life in general? I’ve got two good years of learning.” I pointed out with a laugh.
“Either I guess.” He shrugged.
“Don’t microwave a banana. They are very flammable.” I decided. John broke into a fit of laughter, and I joined in.
“How on earth did you find that out?” he laughed.
“Don’t you get bored?” I asked.
“Of course I get bored, but not that bored apparently.” He pointed out.
“Well, I experiment.” I shrugged.
“The worst thing I did was throw a rock at the goat. I ended up missing anyway, but I got grounded for like, ever.” John laughed.
“You rebel.” I sighed.
“It’s reasonable!” John defended.
“What’s so wrong with this goat?” I asked.
“Well, it makes so much noise because it was someone’s idea to put a bell on it, so it squeals and rings it’s bell and is just so annoying. And it never shuts up all throughout the night.” He added. I laughed, imagining that would be miserable.
“Well, when you get back there you’ll have a victor’s house, we can be neighbors.” I said happily, planning it in my head.
“Ya, if only.” He muttered.
“How’s school going? Is Mrs. Crow still there?” I asked.
“Unfortunately.” He groaned. That teacher was the Devil on earth, and she looked so much like a crow that it was the perfect last name.
“She used to yell at me for being advanced in the class. One time she made me retake a test because I got a hundred and five on it.” I laughed.
“In her class that’s not even possible!” John exclaimed.
“I used to steal older people’s textbooks, so I really had nothing to do with my life except read them and get smarter.” I shrugged.
“Well, now you don’t even have to worry about that anymore.”
“Apparently being in a room with kids my age would ‘frighten me’, and I’d go crazy murderous.”  I shrugged.
“If that’s a good excuse to attack those idiots, then I’d be back there in a heartbeat.”
“Where you bullied?” I asked.
“Not much, you?”
“Every day.” I sighed, remembering those memories. Compared to this though, the school bullies sounded quite nice actually. If I went back they’d be running from me this time.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” he muttered.  
“Not your fault, but I guess everything worked out after all.” I shrugged. “I’m a famous rich guy and they’re still getting yelled at by Crow.”
“Losers.” John agreed with a smile.
“You two are up early.” Mrs. Hudson pointed out with a smile, walking in the living room and sitting in the armchair.
“Not really, it’s only seven still.” I pointed out.
“Well, I guess it’s just early for me.” she shrugged.
“I guess so.” I agreed, not really wanting her to stick around.
“Last day of training then.” She pointed out. John nodded, and I wanted to thank her for pointing that out because none of us were already aware (sarcasm).
“I’ll do my best.” John said with an assuring smile.
“How about Irene, what’s she been doing then?” Mrs. Hudson asked.
“Mostly flirting.” John laughed. I smiled; maybe I should ask Irene how to flirt. No way.
“Well, I guess that’s a way to look at things.” Mrs. Hudson decided, but she didn’t look like she approved.
“Sherlock, do you have any plans for today?” she asked.
“Nope.” I said with a smile. It was true; I don’t think there’s anything else I can do for him. But for myself, that’s another thing.
“Well, I guess that’s nice.” She shrugged.
“Good morning all.” Molly entered the room with a cheery smile, and I just looked away with annoyance. It was a cruel reminder that she had been right all along. Stupid John, stupid heart, stupid love, no, not stupid John, brilliant John, amazing John, beautiful. Breakfast arrived a little bit later, which somehow drew Irene out of bed. She had a nasty bedhead, but she was attempting to tame it with a really big purple hairbrush.
“Good morning Irene.” Mrs. Hudson said with a smile. Irene just frowned, and I noticed a long piece of black hair fall into the sausage. Well, that crossed something off of my breakfast choices. John was digging in though, the most I’ve seen him eat in a while. I just stuck with bacon once again. Unfortunately Molly sat across from me, so it was difficult not to look at her. I was trying to think about what exactly I was going to say to her. I knew she really didn’t want me and John together, maybe not for her personal reasons, but because she was scared for me. I only had to make up a good reason to convince her to teach me to steal his heart. The tributes were rushed away at nine thirty, just so they weren’t late for training like they had been a couple of times, leaving just Molly and I in the house together. I didn’t know where she was, but I went to my room and changed as quickly as I could and went to try to find her. My brain was working overtime to think what I was going to say, and my feet felt like lead. My entire body was telling me this was a bad idea, but I ignored it. My heart was praising me at the moment, telling me that after all these years I was finally listening to it. I knocked cautiously on her bedroom door, and she called for a moment before opening it up.