I barely slept that night; I could admit I was terrified for the poor tribute asleep on my chest. I didn't want him to die, he couldn't die, I wouldn't allow it. I looked over at the clock, 5:02 in the morning. It was the last 5:02 I'd ever spend with John. Even though I knew it shouldn't be a memorable time, it meant nothing to either of us, but at the moment, as the two changed to a three, I wished it would go back. John still wasn't moving, but his breath had even out to a normal rate. My guess was that he was awake, but didn't want to be, he was trying to keep his eyes closed as long as possible so that he didn't have to actually wake up. I felt my eyes get hot again, but I blinked the possible tears away. Not yet. Suddenly he gripped my hand and his eyes flew open.

"Don't make me go!" he exclaimed in a sudden outburst, burying his face in my neck and hugging me. I tried not to act as though he was strangling me, but in reality his hug was crushing my lungs.

"You'll be okay John, don't worry." I assured, hugging his back and trying to calm him down.

"Sherlock..." he didn't finish that thought; he left off with my name.

"It's okay." I said in a sort of whisper.

"No, no it's not, I'm going to die." He muttered, muffling his voice against my skin. I felt tears splash against me, which wasn't helping my no crying rule much. I patted his back, trying to calm him back down.

"Please don't make me go in there." He begged, "Please, I'll do anything!"

"I'm so sorry John, but I can't interfere or they'll kill me."

"Well, at least I'll have company up there." He said. I didn't smile at that, I knew it was a joke, but there was nothing funny about it. I wanted to promise him everything would be okay, that he'd live through this horrible experience, but I couldn't promise anything.

"Sherlock please don't make me go." John begged, more tears falling.

"I have to John, I have to." I defended. He cuddled, if possible, even closer, now his forehead was against my chin and his chin was pressing down on my Adam's apple. He took a deep, rattling breath, as if trying to remind himself that he was still alive. I should've been thrilled about how close we were, there was absolutely no personal space whatsoever, but I knew this only meant that he felt safe around me. It wasn't romantic, it was terror. If this night was just another night, the most we'd do was hold hands. I didn't want John to be scared, he should be, but I didn't want him to. He was too perfect, too innocent to be thrown in there and told to kill, but even the best of kids have to become murderers just because Mrs. Hudson happened to pick their name out of that glass bowl. I ran my fingers through his hair, it calmed me down, and so I might as well try it on him. It actually seemed to work, he stopped shaking for a little bit at least. His hair was soft and smooth from the fancy capital shampoo, but golden flakes from the interview still gleamed on my hand.

"Are you okay now?" I asked cautiously, scared he was going to burst out crying again. He took another deep breath, controlling himself.

"I guess I have to be." He agreed.

"Do you want to get some breakfast?" I asked.

"No." he said truthfully. He repositioned himself to sit his head on my chest again, holding my hand. I smiled at him, trying to make the best of this situation.

"You'll be okay John." I repeated. I kept saying that, I kept lying to him and to myself, because no one is ever okay in those games, before and after.

"I just want to stay here for the rest of my life." He muttered. I gazed at the clock; my precious 5:02 had become 5:13. We would have to be up at around seven or so, I hoped John would fall back asleep just for strength, but I knew he probably wouldn't now that he seemed awake. I didn't know what time I had to send him into the tube, I know they're allowed one person from their team to send them in though, and I really hoped that person would be me.

"Can you give me any more tips?" he asked suddenly. I thought about that, things I really needed in the games.

"Don't light fires unless absolutely necessary, and never at night, and if you have a really bad injury clean it out with water and tie it off with a tourniquet. Never drink water unless you did your best to filter it." I decided.

"I'm scared Sherlock." He admitted, but I could figure that out by myself really.

"You'll be fine."

"You're lying."

"It's what I need to hear; both of us need to hear it." I pointed out.

"What if I don't make it, what will you do?" he asked.

"I guess I'll cross that bridge if I come to it, but I really hope I don't."

"But really, don't get into drugs or something." he insisted.

"A little late for that."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Under the bed, stored in a shoe, enough morphine to last a couple of weeks." I admitted. Instead of being the concerned parent anyone would be, he just chuckled a little bit.

"Well, it figures. Do you really get that messed up afterwards?"

"I was one of the worst, I assume, but it's not all money and fame." I didn't know why I was telling him this, I knew I should be trying to motivate him to win, but in all fairness the prize was your life, and that was worth fighting for.

"If I come out, me and you are going to beat the crap out of the school bullies." He decided. I couldn't help laughing at that.

"All right, you've got a deal." I agreed. Sounded pretty good to me, not only did the both of us get fame and fortune, we could have the satisfaction of beating up the jerks that made our childhood miserable.

"If you get out, you better stick around with me, I'm not just going to be that weird neighbor." I added. "Of course." John nodded. I smiled, but it wasn't a good sentiment, sure we'd be neighbors, but he still had to live. John started to shake a little bit more in the silence, but I just interlocked our fingers and he seemed to calm down just a little bit more.

"Do you think the others are up?" he asked.

"I doubt Mrs. Hudson even went to sleep. She gets more nervous than the tributes." I admitted.

"Did you sleep?" he asked.

"No, of course not." I muttered, as if it was something to be embarrassed about.

"I did, believe it or not." He admitted. I knew, only because he missed my love confession. Idiot.

"Well, if you can fall asleep again that would be good." I pointed out.

"Not a chance now." He muttered.

"Do you think the other tributes are this worried?" he asked.

"Probably, but they're probably alone, not cuddled up with their mentor." I pointed out.

"Well then they're missing out aren't they?" he said with a small smile. I nodded with agreement, the y really were missing out. If I had needed anything during my days here, it was a friend, someone that I could curl up with and tell them just how terrified I actually was. Molly was a kind of hug and tell your feelings type, but for some reason I always pushed her away.

"What did you say, I remember you saying something, but I didn't really hear." He admitted. Oh.

"I just said I wanted you to do your best in the games." I shrugged. For some reason I didn't want to tell him right now, it wasn't the time, the time was spoiled by sleep apparently. He hummed in agreement against my chest. I wondered what he'd do if I actually did tell him. We were both drunk on fear and sleep, so I doubted he'd react like he probably should.

"How scared were you?" he asked.

"A lot more scared than you, remember I got a four." I pointed out.

"I guess I'm worth two of you then." John laughed.

"You're worth ten of me." I assured, dead serious. He didn't answer, but I could almost sense his smile, making the room seem a lot brighter, even though there was no light coming from anywhere. We sat there for a little while after that, just sitting there. I was trying to burn this memory into my brain, because I knew it would be ending soon. All of this would be ending soon; the worst and best days of my entire life would be just memory.

"Should we get up now?" John asked.

"It's your choice." I pointed out. He nodded, but didn't make a move to get up. He just lay there, as if he wanted me to be the one to push him off of me. But, to my relief or disappointment I couldn't tell, he rolled off of the bed, landing on his feet and leaving me chilly from the missing source of body heat. I got to my feet and pulled my robe on, clasping the necklace around my neck and searching the closet for my clothes.

"What do I have to wear?" he asked, his voice shaking. I wanted to give him a hug, but he was halfway across the room.

"You can wear anything you want, then you change right before you go it." I said, picking out my purple shirt again. I guess I'm not one for new things. I didn't want to leave John out here, but I didn't want to change in front of him, so I just dropped my clothes on the bed and led him out to breakfast with me. I felt him grab my hand, whether in fear of what's in the living room or fear of what's coming. My guess is the latter. Either way, it seemed to both of us that it didn't matter what anyone else thought, we'd hold hands as much as we want for as long as we could. Mrs. Hudson and Molly were in the living room again, the TV turned on, repeating the interviews and parades and trying to guess the fan favorites. Mrs. Hudson looked nervous, her face was pale and her foot wouldn't stop tapping.

"Good morning dears." She said, but her usual cheeriness was left somewhere else. I knew this was the last time she'd say that to both of us at the same time. Molly seemed to notice before Mrs. Hudson that our hands were interlocked, and she just gave me a bit of a smile, but I ignored her. There was nothing to smile about right now, nothing at all.

"How'd you sleep?" Molly asked.

"Okay." John shrugged.

"Miserable." I said truthfully.

"I'm with Sherlock on this one. It's a miracle Irene isn't up yet." Mrs. Hudson decided.

"I doubt she's even nervous." John muttered as we both sat on the couch. This time he sat very close to me, as if he was a scared child that just wanted to be close to their mom. John watched the TV, but then looked away quickly.

"Could you please turn that off?" he asked. The TV clicked off almost as soon as he said it. John shivered even though the room was nice and warm, and I just gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. No one seemed to want to talk, I knew they were all wondering what's going on, and Mrs. Hudson, who loved schedules and torturing everyone with them, looking bursting to tell us.

"How are you feeling then?" Molly asked John.

"I'm very nervous." He said simply, taking a deep breath.

"I understand, that's perfectly normal, I'm sure everyone in this building is nervous." Molly assured.

"Not Irene." I pointed out.

"Well you don't know that yet dear." Mrs. Hudson objected. John just mumbled something even I didn't catch, probably something about Irene. Why couldn't it still be 5:02, with him snuggled into my chest, still pretending to be asleep?

"You'll do great in the games John, I only got a seven when I was in there." Molly pointed out. John just shook his head, as if not believing anything of himself. He had the best score from District Twelve in a while, and still he was convinced he was going to die. I felt like he needed a hug, or I just needed a hug, either way I really couldn't hug him in front of both of these people.

"Happy Hunger Games everyone!" Irene's triumphant voice made John get even paler. She sounded simply thrilled to be here, unlike everyone else. Her hair and makeup was already done, and she was wearing a tight black dress that made me want to throw up.

"Someone's happy." Mrs. Hudson observed, not even trying to hide the coolness in her voice.

"Well of course, today's the day is it not?" Irene pointed out.

"Yes, it's so great to see that you're not scared." Molly said with a smile.

"I'm not scared, the crowd will love me, I'll be the victor this year." She said, sounding very confident.

"Even the sponsors can't save you from a tribute with a knife." I pointed out, not exactly trying to ruin her mood, but then again trying to get her a lot less excited.

"No, but they can give me a gun." She said obviously.

"It'll only kill if you know what to do with it." I objected.

"Okay Sherlock, that's enough." Mrs. Hudson snapped, which left the two of us just glaring at each other. Irene's angry look changed to a confident smile in the blink of an eye, making me, for some reason, even madder. The Avoxes arrived with breakfast, setting the platters on the table like they did every day. They didn't seem bothered by the day or the upcoming games, they actually seemed quite relieved to get us all out.

"Let's have a nice big breakfast okay?" Mrs. Hudson suggested. John didn't say anything, I knew from experience that before the games it feels like you're going to throw up if you eat something, but you actually had to force yourself to, because this was the last meal you had until you had to fend for yourself. John and I walked over to the table apprehensively, suddenly the food didn't look so much as a feast, but it was more tauntingly. I saw Irene's eyes flash down to our interlocked hands, and I just smiled at her, but she didn't show any reaction. We sat in front of the food and Mrs. Hudson said an extra-long prayer for good luck and safety in the games. I even added in some in my head, wanting John to be safe and win, I hope it made a difference. This time I didn't eat, but I made sure John did, loading up his plate with the things I thought looked healthiest, like potatoes, eggs, and fruit. But he didn't eat much of it; he seemed to be forcing himself just to pick up his fork. And to add to all of that, we were both working with only one hand, we were still holding hands underneath the table.

"Sherlock how come you're not eating?" Molly asked. I just glared at her to shut her mouth, and she went back to merely picking at her pancakes. Irene was the only one who seemed to have an appetite, filling up her plate and seemingly eating at a faster pace than she had before. She seemed to be the opposite of a human being, mad when she should be happy and happy when everyone else is cowering in fear. John set down his fork, most of his food still sitting on the plate, but I wasn't going to force him to eat it. I only made him drink a whole lot of juice, as much as he could, because water would be the most dangerous task in the games. If you don't find some, you will die, it's that simple. When even Irene was done, Mrs. Hudson excused us back to our rooms to get ready, and that was the first time John and I separated since we fell asleep last night. It wasn't a long period of time, but I felt empty the minute he was out of my sight.