Catherine's POV

The day is here. The guys have been rehearsing the past couple days, and they're excited. I'm nervous because it's an awards show, and that means alot of celebrities. You would think I'd be used to it by now, but I'm not. At least I will have Ashley with me the whole time.

The other day I had a wonderful day out with Hoseok. We went to an art gallery and then shopping. I found a beautiful dress that I'm wearing to the awards. Hobi was literally drooling when I came out of the fitting room. He stuttered like a cutie, and I knew I'd found the one. Dress that is...

We spent the evening in, and ordered room service. Later in the night we were intimate, but not more than we have in the past. I don't know what happened because I really thought we would make love, but he pulled back. I think he is waiting for me to make the step, and I'm still scared. I've waited so long, and said no so many times, that I don't know how to proceed. I guess I'll know when I'm ready.

Ashley (Halsey) came to my room to get ready with me, and when I opened the door, she almost choked.

"SHIT! You're fucking stunning!!"

"Thanks. I don't know what to do with my hair though... Up or down?"

"Up! Show that neck and your shoulders."

"Ok. Sounds good."

"Hoseok is not going to be able keep his eyes off of you."

"Well, since he can't touch me in public, I guess eyes will have to do..."

"uh-oh... Everything alright?"

"Sure. It's just different. Can't be seen together... Can't hold hands or kiss under the stars... I miss those kinds of things..."

"I would too.. is it not working out with you two?"

"it's not that... I really really like him. I want to be with him. It's just difficult. He's only around every few months and I've just been LUCKy that they travel here. I'm afraid to take things too far and get attached only to get my heart broken again."

"Go with your gut. If it feels right, it probably is."

"hmmmmm... I'm just confused about how to build a lasting relationship with someone through a phone..."

"Is that it? It's nothing to do with feelings for another person?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Oh come on... I see you... I know you're sweet on Jungkook too."

"uuuhhh... I won't deny he takes up space in my head... Rent free I might add... But I'm trying to follow my heart not my libido..."

"And it's only the physical that you're attracted to with him? You sure?"

"The other day was the first real conversation I've ever had with him. How can I think it's anything but physical?"

"Love's a funny thing..."

My mouth gaped at that and she winked and walked to the bathroom to get my makeup. This girl... I don't love him... I don't know him... Right?!?

Ashley and I get to the awards show, and head directly inside. I'm thankful for this since it's hot as hell outside, and I'm starting to get a headache. The screaming fans would probably split my head open. I'm again a seat filler, and even though she doesn't need to, Ashley agreed to do it with me.

Watching the show and moving seats is fun. Especially when we end near the guys. During a commercial break, I stand and say something to Jimin. He completely misunderstood me and started laughing uncontrollably. I still don't know what he thought I said. I was asking if he liked a certain performance and he literally busted a gut. I had to get a picture.

Poor Jungkook was caught eating... The boy has a hollow leg I think. Ashley teased me because Hobi and JK were sitting together, and are both in my picture. She's as bad as Bridget suddenly...

The show comes to the point where the guys go to get ready. As they walk by, Hoseok squeezes my hand and I smile. A minute later I feel a presence pressed against me and a husky voice in my ear whispering "you beautiful"... I freeze and feel the hair on my neck stand when his hand brushed across my lower back. I look up to meet a blushing but confident Jungkook's gaze. My knees are weak, my panties are now damp, and I shudder. I can't even smile. I just part my lips in surprise and look at him... He smirks and continues to walk behind the members.

WHAT.THE.ACTUAL.FUCK?!?

Ashley is looking at me with her brow raised... I guess she witnessed that little scene. Now I'm nervous... Did anyone else see? What about a fan? That could be horrible... I'm about to say something, when Ashley giggles and says "Gosh... You should see your face!"

I don't have the time to reply because they are announcing BTS... I'm literally left rubbing my thighs together from how frustrated I am. And this from only a single encounter with Jungkook... DAMN...

After the Awards

Ashley takes me backstage, and we meet a bunch of people. Taylor Swift isn't as nice as I've heard. But Ashley says she's just having a bad day and is one of the sweetest people. Kelly Clarkson on the other hand is super nice, and a hugger. She talked with us for a bit and it totally made my night.

We come across the boys mingling with everyone. Jimin calls me over to ask me to take some pictures.

"Please my lovely Cafferine... Take pictures..."

How can I refuse him?

When things settled down, and it was time to leave, I was exhausted. Ashley and I headed out to find our car. As soon as we were in it I called Bridget.

*otp*

"Hello!"

"Hey B! How's tricks?"

"I should ask YOU!"

"What do you mean?"

"I saw you on the TV at the awards. You look smoking hot bitch!!"

"Really? You saw me?"

"Did anything cool happen?"

"Our tea time will have to wait until I get home. I'll text you a few pictures later."

"Are you and Hobi going to see each other tonight?"

"They went to do a v-live, and then we may see them. Not sure. Ashley wants to go dancing..."

"You totally should! Get your groove on girl!!"

"We'll see. I'm pretty tired... But I can always sleep on the plane tomorrow. You're picking me up at the airport?"

"Yes. Can't wait to see you!"

"Me too B! See you tomorrow! Love you!"

"Love you babe!"

Ashley tells me that she texted with Namjoon, and the guys are up for some drinks and dancing at an after party. I guess that's decided then.

We stop at our rooms and freshen up and head out to the club. I'm looking forward to a drink or two. Walking in, it's completely different than Las Vegas. It's a small club with a dj and a dance floor. The club in Vegas was more relaxed. This place is high energy. We head to get drinks, and I almost inhale the first margarita. I take a shortcut and order a tequila shot and a 2nd margarita.

We find a spot to sit and finish our second round of drinks. I'm buzzed completely, and I excuse myself to go smoke a cigarette. Ashley said she'll order me another drink while I'm away. Stepping into the smoking area, I feel like everyone is looking at me. Probably because I'm just a nobody at this club that reserved for the private after party.

The group that was in the smoking area with me heads back in, leaving me on my own. While I'm looking out at the city I feel a body press against me and a hand reaches around and takes my cigarette. The voice against the shell of my ear says "this bad" and he puts it in the ashtray. I stop breathing feeling his hard chest against my back. I start to turn and he leans and says "Don't." I feel his hands holding my hips firmly and my breathing is strained.

The door opens and another group of smokers enters the area. I feel him move away and my back feels cold. I turn to look at him and he stares into my eyes. I find my voice somehow.

"Jungkook"

"Hi."

"Ummm... Should we go back in?"

"Yes... We will dance."

And he takes my hand and pulls me behind him. Ashley sees us coming and she nudges Namjoon. They watch us go onto the dance floor together. Thank God I'd had drinks or I would be too nervous. We start moving together and he's so fucking sexy. He spins me and starts grinding with me from behind and I'm totally lost in the moment. His hands on my waist and feeling him move against me sends all sorts of sensations through my body.

The song changes to a slower one and he spins me again. Now I'm face to chest with him. We're moving together slowly and in a far too sexy way if people were watching... And they are, because the next thing I know, Jimin is dragging Jungkook somewhere and Hoseok is in front of me with a questioning smile. I point to Ashley because I really want my drink. I take his hand and drag him with me to the table. I'm flushed and completely flustered. My heart is racing in my chest and I feel weak all over.

Ashley leans towards me and whispers to me "You ok? You look like you might pass out!" I give her a pained smile and nod that I'm alright. Namjoon asks me if I'm having fun, and I say yes. Hoseok is holding my hand and watching me closely. I have yet to be able to look him in the eye. I finish my drink and look for the waitress. Hoseok, pulls me up and brings me to the dance floor. He pulls me close and we move together. It's hot, but not as sexual as Jungkook was moving.

After a few songs, we head back to the seats. I'm tired and I tell everyone I am going to head back. Hoseok says he'll bring me, and since I won't see him for a long time, I accept. I give hugs to the rest of the guys. Jungkook looks upset, but I squeeze him a little and whisper "Thank you for the dance... my hero" to him. He nods smiling.

The car ride is silent. He's fiddling with my fingers, and I can feel he has something he wants to say. I don't ask because I think we need to be alone for whatever is coming. When we arrive, we release our hands to walk inside separately. I go to my room and wait for him.

When the knock comes, I feel my heart pounding. I open the door for him and he takes me into his arms immediately. I feel wetness on my shoulder and I realize he's crying. I hold him tighter and after a minute I pull him towards the couch.

"What is wrong?"

"I not want lose you"

"What do you mean? Why would you lose me?"

"....."

"You can tell me"

"Not see you for long."

"I know. But it's ok. We both have our stuff. We'll keep doing what we have been."

"Cafferine... I... I... I falling in l-love..."

"Hobi... I..."

"It ok... You say when you know"

I lean in and place my lips on his to show my care. I want to say 'I love you' to someone again. I feel alot for him, but I don't know... So I can't bring myself to say the words. But I can show him my affection.

We spend the night, touching and showing each other how we feel without words.

4:30 AM

I'm awake and making sure I have everything I brought. Hobi is still sleeping, and I pause to look at his beautiful face.

I think about last night and how he told me that he loves me. A warmth spreads through me, and I find myself smiling. I sit on the edge of the bed, and run my fingers through his hair while admiring him. He stirs, and opens his eyes. Our eyes meet and he sits up.

"Morning."

"Hi... Did you sleep well?"

"Yes. You are leaving?"

"In about an hour. I was thinking of going to get some coffee..."

"Dr say no for coffee..."

"I can't function without it... But I'll wait."

Hobi gets up from the bed and we hear a knock on the door. I go to answer it and find Ashley with a few of the BTS members. I let everyone in, and we sit in the living room. Hobi is in the bathroom getting dressed, and washing up. Jimin is looking at me with a smirk plastered on his cute face.

Namjoon  speaks first "It was really great you could be here this week. We hope that we'll be able to see you both again soon."

Ashley replies "I've got a tour starting soon, so it might be tough for me, but we will definitely keep in touch."

"After graduation I have no plans outside of work, so I'll be a little more flexible..."

As soon as I said that Jungkook choked on his water, and Jimin giggled at him

Namjoon rolls his eyes and says something to the younger guys in Korean. They both hang their heads down.

Jungkook looks sheepish and just says  "Sorry..."

Hobi appears from the bedroom/bathroom area and Jungkook visibly stiffens. I stand and grab my suitcase to move it closer to the door. Turning back I hear Ashley telling Namjoon that we are going to leave in a few minutes. I'm frankly surprised that these guys are awake this early.

Hoseok comes to me and backhugs me giving me a kiss on the cheek. I reach up and ruffle his hair and tell him I need to leave.

"I know... You come to Korea after New Year?"

"I can try... Are you not busy then?"

Namjoon adds "Actually, we have some free time after the holidays... Just the regular rehearsals, but it would be a good time to visit us."

"I will check my schedule for sure."

Hoseok is smiling and I'm happy that he wants me to visit him. Ashley stands and claps her hands announcing that we need to leave.

Jimin, Jungkook, and Namjoon all stand up to give hugs. I pat Hobi's hands for him to release me, and he does reluctantly. I give the 3 guys a hug and Jungkook squeezes me tight putting his face in the crook of my neck. The electric current from this action makes me shiver. He whispers "bye beautiful" in my ear so quietly I wasn't sure it was real... But his blushing cheeks tells me it was.

When he releases me, Hoseok grabs me and spins me towards him. I smile and whisper a "see you later" and he says "I love you" and then kisses me. I feel the claim he's laying, but I don't fight it. Kissing him back, I pull him tighter. I smile when he pulls back, joining our foreheads, and says it again.

"I love you Cafferine. I will miss you."

Me - "I'll miss you too." I pause and whispering so only he'll hear me "I love you too Hobi..."

He kisses me again and Namjoon laughs but speaks again.

"Ok... Hobi, they have a flight..."

Hoseok and I pull apart, and I say goodbye to him. Looking up at the others, there is a huge mix of reaction. Namjoon is smiling, Jimin and Ashley look surprised, but Jungkook looks mad... or sad... I still can't figure him out.

LAX

Ashley and I are waiting for the boarding of our flight when she finally says what's on her mind...

"Are you in love with Hoseok?"

"I think so... I feel like I am."

"I was just surprised when you said it... I guess I thought you were still figuring things out."

"I am... But I say 'I love you' to lots of people..."

"You know that he thinks you meant that you're 'in love' right?"

Sighing I reply... "I know... I think I am though..."

"You think? Cath... Be careful... Forcing yourself to feel things you don't, is not healthy. "

"I know... I really do... But he makes me happy..."

"I'm going to say something you won't want to hear... I see the way you are with him. I see you care. Then I see the way you are with Jungkook... I see more. Complete attraction... The connection when you two look at each other... I..."

"Stop. I don't know what I feel for Jungkook. He confuses me. But I care about Hoseok, and even if I'm not 'in love' with him right now, I know I will be if we keep going how we are. I am happy right now..."

"Ok. If you're happy, then I am too."

Our conversation ends, and I feel stressed. Did I make a mistake? It didn't feel like it at the time, but now she's made me question myself. I do love him... But it may not be the same way he feels for me. SHIT! Why is this so hard? And what does she mean about Jungkook? I'm crazy attracted to him... But I'm looking for something deeper. I think that's all he is feeling too... Attraction...  Right?!?

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Thank you for reading. I hope everyone is doing well! Love you all!!

STAY SAFE!!

STAY HEALTHY!!

WEAR A MASK!!

**MASKS ARE SEXY!!**