I'm Sorry, Jungkook…
I'm Sorry…

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Author's POV

Heartbroken is a heart that shattered like millions of pieces of glasses they said.

But did they feel it?

Do they actually know how it feels to be heartbroken?

Because surely, Jungkook feels nothing like how they describe. He feels like all he wants to do right now is cry and scream at the top of his lungs to let it all out because it's not hurting– but killing him inside. The pain he feels in the chest is overwhelming, he feels like his soul was just taken out from the area. And even after explaining that, the pain he really felt was so far from it. So how can he ever describe what it feels like? Because certainly, real-life heartbreak is unexplainable.

He should have been ready… He could have seen it coming already when Jimin suddenly turned silent, but then why? Why is hearing it from the older person made him so much more hurt than he imagined?

"W-what?" He asked stuttered, wanting to make sure what he heard was true as he stared at Jimin who was looking down all along. No, he's not mad yet did not disappoint but that doesn't mean he didn't feel anything inside because truly, he thought Jimin would say yes. After all, the older male has been doing nothing but giving him greenlights for the past three weeks. So what could go wrong? Is the surprise isn't enough?

"I said no, Jungkook." Jimin declared coldly; not even spared the younger a glance as he stared under the water where the lights were before, feeling his heart, breaking painfully inside. He needed to do this… Not only for his good but for Jungkook too. He knows the others deserve so much more, deserve someone who is reliable, deserve someone who is lovelier, and deserve someone that could love him without worrying about anything.

And yeah, Jimin is anything but those last three statements.

He keeps wondering if he didn't meet with Aíden, will all of this happen? Will he meet the younger ones at the party? Will he be the third wheel in their relationship? Guess not. Even if he didn't meet Aíden, he would still meet Jungkook by the time he arrived at the company. How ironic… He could never run away from this. His shitty life was prettily planned by fate.

But why…?

Why let him meet Jungkook again?

Just to hurt him again? Because certainly, it works.

"A- ah, it's okay hyung… I don't mind, I could wait for you more. Let's go, we could act as if nothing happened." Jungkook spoke out, feeling his inside weakening but still maintaining himself from breaking. Yes, he meant what he said earlier… He is willing to wait for Jimin longer, no matter how long it takes. The older one probably just isn't ready to say yes, it's not a big deal to him– or at least, that's what he's trying to assure himself.

"No, Jungkook…" Jimin trailed off, as Jungkook watched the older man turn around slowly to him before looking upfront. Just then he realized the other was crying because his tears were beautifully shined by the reflection from the Han River bridge lights which undoubtedly, reminds Jungkook of what happened three weeks ago– when they had their first dinner date. Jimin still looks beautiful from his eyes. The only difference is that Jimin is smiling whilst right now he's crying… and it's not something that he would like to see.

"I want us to stop here. Whatever we have now, just stop."

Jungkook immediately widened his eyes by the mentioned. Stop? Their relationship? What's next? Abandoned him? Jungkook chuckled slowly at his thoughts and closed his eyes before taking a deep breath; feeling anger rose inside him by the way Jimin simply threw him like some kind of useless piece of trash. Oh wait, even useless trash has value, people are getting money from just recycling it which is funny... Because Jungkook doesn't even have one in Jimin's heart. He means nothing to the older male.

Or at least, that's why he believed so.

"Why?" He asked simply, feeling all of his energy drained out by the one question yet still, he acted tough. As if this didn't hurt him, as if this means nothing to him… But it's good if you think about it back. The less you show your emotions, the less you hurt. People always say that, and Jungkook just wanted to test the theory. Guess it works.

Or probably not.

"I asked why Jimin!! Why?!" He yelled loudly, watching the older man do nothing for the past minutes except stare at him. Yes, he does understand when the older said no, who is he to protest the answer? It had just been three weeks after all, Jimin probably wasn't ready yet but stop? Stop this relationship here? After all the effort he put on those three weeks just to show how much he loves Jimin, the other wanted to stop? He at least deserves an explanation WHY.

"Because I can't love you!!" Jimin snapped and moved closer to him by taking two steps further.

"Can't you understand that? I can't love you Jungkook, no matter how much I wanted to. I just can't." He whispered in a soft pitched tone, completely opposite of how he just yelled earlier as he let his tears fall from his eyes without blinking; feeling them running down through the top of his cheeks skin. Who said Jungkook is the only one who's hurting? Who said he wasn't hurting? His whole body is aching!! It takes a lot of him to not run and hug the younger.

But he again understands, rather than hurting Jungkook later; he's more willing to hurt himself. Yeah, he knows the younger one probably would be heartbroken, and all right now, but he's sure that later on the wounds would be healed and Jungkook happily lives with someone else… The other doesn't have a problem searching for a new one. He got everything that a person ever wanted. Money, looks, height, title, good personality… All of it, you named it.

Unlike Jimin.

What does he have to offer? Nothing.

Literally.

And that's why right now he's standing in front of the younger one; decided to break it off their relationship for once and for all.

"And why is that?! Why couldn't you love me? I gave you everything!! Every inch of me!! And instead of returning it, you pushed me away!! Is it because I'm not enough?! Or is it because you simply don't love me–"

"Don't you dare say that!" Jimin cut him off angrily; feeling his legs weaken every minute passed.

"Then what am I supposed to say?! Three weeks, Jimin… I showed you my love, without asking anything in return. I didn't ask for your body, your money, or even anything else!! All I ever asked is for a chance and your time. And you did agree!! Then, why?! Why stopped now?! Because you're already bored of me?! Or because–"

"It's because I'm a murderer, Jungkook!!" Jimin burst out, watching the other doe's eyes widen bigger than the earth while his face paled as if he just saw a ghost. "Now you got silent?! Why don't you ask me again? I've killed someone, Jungkook!! I'm a killer!!" Jimin yelled with tears falling continuously from his eyes, he's sad… So sad… He couldn't explain how disappointed he is in himself for making Jungkook think he doesn't love him because clearly, that's wrong.

Hell knows he loves Jungkook so much.

"Scared now, hmm? Got nothing to say? That's why I said earlier, I can't love you! I'm a murderer, I killed my own sarcastic-stupid-extremely-abusive mother. I'm unpredictable and I could slaughter you anytime… Don't you understand yet?!" He continued as Jungkook kept silent; too shocked to say anything about it. Is this the reason…? He watched Jimin take a step closer; unintentionally making him move back in return which later on he heard the older chuckle in reply.

"Ah, I should see that coming. You're scared of me now, aren't you?" Jimin asked with a smile on his face despite the tears in his eyes; feeling his heart breaking when the younger took a step behind. Of course, Jungkook would do that, who in the right mind wouldn't? Knowing that this world is full of murderers is scary enough, confronting one of them is more. Moreover when the person is someone you love. Jungkook must feel so disgusted in him and probably wouldn't want to see him again.

Jimin scoffed at his own thoughts as he turned around and gaze under the water again; the image of those words appeared again inside his mind. Though there is nothing anymore, he still feels the words are there; shining for him from under the water. It was so beautiful, something that he would never forget until the last of his breath.

Tears surged in his eyes again as he waited for the other to said something. Anything, any words… He just wanted Jungkook to say something but the younger remained silent.

Jimin sighed and looked down; he badly wanted to look at Jungkook, wanted to see what's the reaction but he can't. Not right now, because if he did, he knows that he will drop everything and run back to the younger and said what he just confessed before was nothing but a piece of lies even though it's far from that.

"Say something, Jungkook… Please…" He sobs as he keeps his eyes forwards; not risking it by looking at the other. Jungkook must feel regret falling in love with him, must feel so disgusted by the fact he murdered his own mother. The younger didn't even speak any word after, presumably he was so stunned to say anything or didn't want to have anything with them older anymore. And of course, Jimin couldn't believe anything else apart from the second assumption; the younger truly hates him now.

Or at least, that's what he thought. But the problem is that what Jungkook thinks is far away from what the older is assumed.

He feels shocked… scared… and mostly guilty. He couldn't believe what he heard, Jimin killed his own mother? Jimin, his lover a murderer? The confession itself was enough for Jungkook to feel useless and disappointed in himself. How could he claim to love Jimin when he knows nothing of this about the older? How could he didn't realized those barely seen scars on Jimin's body were coming from the mother? And where was he during those times?

He wants to say something, he wanted to tell Jimin that it was okay and they'll get through this but he can't even open his mouth. He feels as if there are locks that didn't let his jaw open wide. He feels as if there's a strong magnet that was placed below his feet which was not letting him go. He wanted to scream, yell, and cry, he wanted to move, run and hug Jimin, he wanted to comfort, assured, and love the older likewise but he can't. His body didn't give in.

So he stood there like a rock; letting the time fly on itself not knowing every second passed; Jimin's heart was breaking.

"Guess this is it huh? This is our ending?" Jimin asked as he turned the other way around; his back facing the younger as he took a deep breath. He wanted Jungkook to say something, say he still loves him, say he wanted him to stay, say that he doesn't care and they can work this out. But at the same time, he didn't want Jungkook to say anything. He's afraid that one word was it all took for him to be back in the younger's arm which is no, no, no; he couldn't let that happen.

So with heavy breathing, broken heart, weak legs, and trembling body; Jimin took a deep breath and opened his mouth with tears drowning the hazel orbs; blurring his sight.

"Goodbye then, Jungkook…" He mumbled and walked away fastly; leaving the younger behind who only watched his sculpture go further to nowhere until he was completely lost in the dark.

And of course, just then Jungkook realized what happened as he snapped his head around; searching for Jimin. "Shit." He cursed and started running like a crazy man, searching for the older figure anywhere near the Han River but Jimin was nowhere to be seen. "Sweetheart!! Where are you?! I'm sorry please come back!! We could work this out!! Please!!" Jungkook yelled loudly while tears started crawling from his doe's eyes; messing up his handsome face.

"Jimin?! Sweetheart, where are you?! Please, I said I'm sorry… I didn't care about it. We could work that together just don't leave me!!" Jungkook begged and continue to search everywhere for the next twenty-five minutes. Feeling his legs start to give up, he let his body fall on the sand with a sob left his mouth. He couldn't think of anything else except where is the male. Jimin, Jimin, and Jimin… was all that replayed in his mind.

"SeokJin-hyung!! He must go there!" Jungkook whispered like a crazy mad as he stood on his feet before running to his vehicle; didn't waste any time to drive away; failed to realize the familiar figure under the bridge; hiding behind one of those walls while hearing and watching what he did all along for the past twenty minutes.

"I'm sorry, Jungkook… I'm sorry…" Jimin mumbled under his breath and cupped his mouth; trying to not cry further as he dropped his body and hug his knees to his chest.

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[A/N: Who's dead? I am but I woke up from the grave and stole my phone just to update😌]

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