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Lucifer: Lucifer Morningstar. And who are you?

Lilith: Lilith.

Lucifer: Haha, nice to meet you, Lilith.

Adam: Oh, don't start!

Lucifer: I was only saying hello!

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Lucifer: This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes "ding!" when there's stuff.

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Charlie, during extermination day: What are you doing?

Lucifer: Helping!

Charlie: You've got a screwdriver, go build a cabinet!

Lucifer: That's really rude!

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Alastor: Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, "Oooh, this can be a little more sonic!"

Lucifer: What, have you never been bored? Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?

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Alastor: Mom, I'm thirty-one, I don't have a Christmas list anymore.

Lucifer: I DO!

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Lucifer: I'm never sure. I don't like being sure about things. One minute you're sure, the next everybody turns into lizards and a piano falls on you.

Charlie: A piano?

Lucifer: It's been a long day.

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Angel Dust: Is the future going to be all girl?

Vaggie: We can only hope.

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Lucifer: Have you got a mobile?

Lilith: I'm in my wedding dress. It doesn't have pockets. Who has pockets? Have you ever seen a bride with pockets? When I went to my fitting at chez allison, the one thing I forgot to say was, "Give me pockets!"

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Alastor: This is Niffty, not my assistant, she's, uh- some other word.

Niffty: I'm his carer.

Alastor: Yeah, my carer. She cares so I don't have to.

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Lucifer: I'm sitting in the TARDIS now, and I'm gonna wind up soon, but not before I make a few strange noises with my mouth that will go somewhere along the lines of bingle bongle dingle dangle, yickety do yickety da, ping pong, lippy tappy too ta.

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Lucifer: You're not special, you're not powerful. You're not connected, you're not clever, you're not important.

Alastor: This friend of yours, just before she left, did she punch you in the face?

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