~ ☼ ~

I'd been scared to be on the train before, but now I was too shaken to think about it. We couldn't find a ticket to Chicago that we could afford with the pocket change Lucas had, but we could find a train to Cleveland. We decided - or the three of them did - that we'd do that, then figure it out from there.

As we sat in the Amtrak station, waiting for the train to get there, Aria and Kiera went to the bathroom together. They invited me to come, but I didn't want to. Instead, I sat on the plasticky chairs and felt like crap.

"You okay?" asked Lucas, as he sat down next to me.

Usually, I'd reject the intimacy, but now I just picked at my nails and avoided his eyes.

"Yeah," I said. "I just feel bad."

"You don't have to feel bad," he said.

"Yeah, I do," I said. "There could've been another way."

"AJ, what else were you supposed to do?" he said. "Imagine if the kraken had become active again? For all we know, somebody's already been seriously hurt. Or killed. If that was the only thing we could come up with, then that was it. At least you helped save Pittsburgh."

I was surprised about his passion towards the subject. "Do you really think so?"

"I do," he said. He cleared his throat, then said, "I know this is going to sound bad... but the gods, the monsters, they're all immortal. Death isn't the same thing to them as it is to us. Even to us, it's better than it is for mortals. At least we know where we're going."

That made me feel better. It was true that Pallas had been around for millennia, and her peers and enemies existed in an in-between between life and death as we knew them. This was child's play for Olympians.

Even Kiera, who'd been the one that defended Pallas in the first place, seemed to hold no ire for me now. I had this feeling that all demigods felt the same way about the gods, the way the gods felt about us. That we could take anything. I swallowed, then looked at Lucas.

"I don't know where I'm going," I said. "I was raised Christian. Which one am I going to?"

Lucas grimaced. "Heaven, or Hell? I'd hope Heaven."

I snickered. "No. Heaven or the Underworld."

"Ohhh!" Lucas' cheeks went red. "Got it."

I giggled, against my angst. "You think there's a chance I'd go to Hell?"

"No!" he said. He held up his hands. "Well - I mean, you said it, not me."

I shook my head. I tried to find a smart response, but then, I thought about the gravity of it again, and the pain came back. Lucas noticed.

"You're not the only one, you know," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"Think of everyone on the Titan's Army," he said. "Would you forgive them?"

He was comparing me to the Titan's Army? Was it really that bad? I'd thought the Titan Army was going to kill innocents when it came down to it. That was not the same thing. Right?

"I'm just saying they got manipulated," Lucas said. "Luke will exploit your angst against the gods and your sympathy for everyone else."

That's what happened now, to me, too.

"Dang," I said, unable to say anything else.

I focused on Lucas. He seemed so sad, and said this so perfectly, that I had to imagine...

"Did you know someone who joined the Titan Army?"

Lucas swallowed.

"Several people," he said.

Shoot.

"It's an insidious thing. It's more apparent in Camp than you think."

I didn't know what to say. I'd kind of tuned out the whole coming war for the whole of last summer. It was easy to do when Alec was always there to make me laugh or Riley was there to force me to do arts and crafts or something else stupid like freeverse poetry. Now I felt bad. Kids had been being exploited the entire time without me realizing. I guess I just hadn't recognized because I hardly talked to anybody but my siblings, and an Apollo kid would never join the Titans.

I looked down at my hands. Maybe that was a false assumption.

I clenched my fists, then said, "I'm so sorry, Lucas."

"It's okay," he said. He shook his head. "I just hope - I don't know. I hope, no matter who wins, there aren't too many innocents hurt."

I didn't like the implication that it wouldn't be us that won.

~ ☼ ~

Nothing happened on the train.

That was my consolation prize, I guess. But it ended up making me bored and hungry. Lucas was flat broke now - a very concerning fact given how much further we still needed to go - so I couldn't get something to eat. Maybe it was for the best to stay away from the dining car after last time, anyway.

I needed a distraction, and to get my mood up again. So I got a drachma from my local banker Lucas Burgess, at my service, and went to the bathroom.

After the sink had been running for a few minutes, I threw the coin in. "Oh Iris, Messenger of the Rainbow," I said, "Show me Alec Thompson and/or Riley Brown at Camp Half-Blood."

Alec must've been pre-occupied, because it showed me Riley. She was sitting in the arts and crafts pavilion, her hands around a pottery wheel. At the sight of me, she jumped, and messed up her bowl.

"Oh my Gods," I said. "I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay!" she said. She gave me a grin. "I'm just happy to see you!"

She kicked off the pottery wheel, and I examined her.  She looked the same as she had last time I'd IM'd her, of course, which was largely the same as last summer: rich brown skin, dark coily hair, and serenity in her eyes. She wore feather earrings today, though, something I imagined was kind of a safety hazard with the moving motor beneath her.

When she sat back up, she grinned again. "How are you?" Before I could respond, my sister moved forward, towards the IM, and squinted. "Where are you?"

I grimaced. "On a train."

"Not again!"

I smiled, thankful to find someone who understood.

Riley and I chatted for a few minutes about what had happened so far on the quest. I didn't tell her the details - this was a public restroom, and I couldn't just go full teenage girl and spend hours in here on the phone talking to my BFF - but I gave her the low-down. By the end, she was shaking her head.

"Yep," she said. "Sounds like a quest."

"Yep," I echoed, popping the p. "How's camp?"

"Camp's..." her smile faltered. "Well, you know how it is, AJ. I'm sure you all talk about it."

"Okay, none of that, please," I said, waving my hands. "No titan stuff."

Riley sighed, but gave me a thumbs up. "Got it. Let's talk about..."

She drummed her hands on her legs. Then she said, "How about Lucas?"

"Lucas," I echoed, trying not to show anything on my face.

"Come on, AJ" she teased. "I saw you last year when you met him."

"Yeah, and you told me to stay away from him," I retorted. "Still feel that way?"

Riley's eyes went temporarily dark. She looked away.

"I don't know how I feel about my psychic abilities right now," she said. "I might've been horribly wrong. I've been wrong before."

"Or maybe you were right, but not in the way you think. Maybe you were just predicting that he'd take me away for the summer."

This cheered her up; she laughed. "Maybe."

Somebody knocked on the stall door. My stomach churned in embarrassment, and I said, "Be right out!"

"Gotta go?" Riley asked.

I nodded. "I'll be back at Camp soon. Thanks for talking, Riles."

I went to wave the IM away, and she scoffed. "AJ!"

"What?"

"Nothing else? No 'I love you, sister dearest?'" She narrowed her eyes. "Not even a smile?"

"I'll give you a smile." I said. I bared my teeth at her like a beast.

"No! Give me a real smile!" Then she gasped. "Oh my gods... a smile... and my nickname is Riles... Smiles for Riles! Give me one!"

I couldn't help but laugh; it was just stupid enough for it to be one of those deep belly laughs.

~ ☼ ~

Lucas, Aria, and Kiera were sitting in a quad-seat configuration when I arrived back. Kiera had procured earbuds and had them in her ears... what she was listening to, I couldn't tell you. I imagined her cord just ended in air.

Meanwhile, Aria and Lucas were making polite conversation.

"Yeah," said Aria, nodding her head. "I like Colorado, too."

"Colorado?" I asked as I took my seat next to Lucas. That was a given, I guess, because Kiera and Aria always sat next to each other. To my chagrin. Just once, I wanted to sit next to Aria and not have to deal with weird feelings the entire time. Just once!

"We're talking about where we vacation," Lucas said. "We're both Colorado fans."

Yeah, I could've figured that out.

"I've never been to Colorado," I said.

"I've only been once," said Aria. "It's expensive to get to the mainland, and I already have two flights a year because of Camp. We can't really afford lots of plane flights beside that."

I almost gasped. Somehow, I'd completely forgotten she lived in Hawaii. I think she was Native Hawaiian, based on her last name, tan skin, and dark eyes. They crinkled when she smiled at me, nodding.

"Yep," she said. "I know. Sad."

I did not correct her that I was gasping because I had a bad memory, not at the price of flights between Honolulu and Denver.

"What island do you live on?" Lucas asked.

"Maui," said Aria. "I absolutely love it. Tons of mountains. You know I love that outdoorsy stuff."

"Yeah," I said, "About that. Not to change the subject, but can we talk about you being able to talk to horses psychically?"

Aria shot a nervous glance at Kiera, but she looked like she was fast asleep. So she scratched her neck, then said, "Yeah. That's freaking cool."

"It's crazy it what is," Lucas said. He shook his head. "I mean... you know who the god of horses is, right?"

My eyes went wide. "Who?"

I was not expected for Lucas to breathe in sharply through his nose and say, his voice low, "Poseidon."

I gasped again.

Poseidon... if Aria was his child, it would make sense why he hadn't claimed her. Alec had told me the Big Three gods weren't supposed to have kids, which was why Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace were such a big deal. Percy Jackson! I thought. If Aria's related to Percy Jackson...

"No," Aria said. She waved her hands in an X motion, shaking her head at Lucas. "No, no, no. I am not a child of Poseidon. I like the beach, but I've not once felt a draw towards the ocean. I'm a woods girl through and through. Plus, it's my mom that's the godly parent, and my dad is definitely straight."

Well, I guess that finished that.

"Maybe you really are the lone child of Artemis," I joked. "That would mean we're cousins!"

Lucas grimaced. "Um... AJ, we're already cousins."

Oh. Right. Suddenly I felt even worse about having a crush on him. I slumped further in my seat.

"I don't know," Aria said, twirling her ponytail in her finger. "Maybe... maybe I'm no one's daughter."

"Someone had to birth you," I said. "You came out of someone's womb."

Lucas made a face, which I relished. Now I could finally return to my plan of embarrassing myself on purpose before I did it on accident.

"That's not necessarily true," Aria said. She quirked an eyebrow, and the sight of her, usually not super humor-oriented, trying to make me chuckle made me burst out laughing. I appreciated the effort.

"What are you implying?" I asked. "Another immaculate conception?"

"Maybe."

Suddenly, Aria's joking was cut off by Lucas getting a phone call. We both gasped, and he groaned.

"Lucas!" I said, feeling genuinely betrayed. "You've had a phone this whole time?"

He sucked in a breath; he brought it out just long enough to refuse the call, then said, "My dad tracks it. I couldn't use it. He'd know I was on a quest."

"And he doesn't know that already?"

His face was shadowy. "He doesn't know much about my life."

I was still pissed that we'd gone through all that work at the tourist trap and lost our credit card because of it - yes, that was technically my fault; no, I didn't care - when he could've just taken an F and chanced a call. But I knew enough, from Alec, that if someone was that mysterious about their parents it was probably warranted.

I wanted to ask about it further, but I couldn't get the words out. So we all just sat there, awkward now, until I said instead, "What did Pallas say to you?"

Lucas seemed surprised I'd forgiven him so quickly. He sat up straight, his polo wrinkling, and said, "She... she told me to say hi to my mom for her."

"Aw," said Aria. "That's sweet."

"Mhm." Lucas cleared his throat. "Well, I haven't spoken to my mom since I was 10, so it's never going to happen."

Now it was awkward again.

"Well," I said, "Last summer, when I was on my quest, Apollo nearly killed my siblings and I. We were in a flying car - the Sun Chariot - and he transformed it into a motorcycle and we all fell out. Actually, we definitely would've died if it weren't for-"

I stopped myself; Alec's powers, to my knowledge, were not in the public domain. So I just said, "If it weren't for this thing we found that worked as a parachute."

Lucas and Aria both looked surprised together. Then Aria said, throwing up her hands, "My mom's never even acknowledged I'm her daughter, so."

"Yay!" I said, fake cheering. "We love godly parents!"

I saw a genuine smile appear on Lucas' beautiful face. I loved that genuine smile, especially when it was because of me. My cheeks went red.

Gods, I thought, please don't let me mess this up.

~ ☼ ~

A/N: I love Amtrak and will never stop spreading the good word of passenger rail as long as I write <3