Third Person POV

"Blaze, ijo, masyado ka na yatang matagal nauwi? Ala-una na ng umaga, saan ka ba nanggaling?" ang tanong ng matanda sa lalaking kadarating lang. There was no hint of warmth or peace on his god-like face like she would usually see everytime he steps passed that huge door.

He wore the same grim expression he had everytime he fought with Gabrielle Ray. Marahan siyang napailing nang lampasan lang siya nito.

She felt bad for the kid habang sinusundan niya ito ng tingin. She did not want to see him suffer again, but both of them needed space. The other one needs to heal and breathe while the other one needs to understand and learn so they could move better in the future.

Alam niyang may naging kasalanan din siya kung bakit lumaki ng ganito ang kanyang apo kaya nga ay bumabawi siya dito ngayon. She made a mistake of hiding behind the comfort of her home while her grandson lived a difficult life inside that huge house.

Ngunit matalinong bata si Blaze. Hindi magtatagal ay matututunan din nito kung paano at ano ang pagmamahal. Alam niya sa sariling mahal ng kanyang apo ang binatang ibinabahay nito. That child used to be so cold and emotionless. Para itong robot na sunod-sunuran lamang sa lahat ng sasabihin ng kanyang ama. But with that beautiful man and their child, his cold facade crumbles. He becomes human when he is with them.

Hindi pa man maamin ng kanyang apo sa sarili na mahal nito ang magandang binata at ang anak nila ipinapakita naman nito sa kanyang mga gawa. Alam niya dahil saksi siya sa nakakabaliw na pag-ibig ng mga 'to. She was there to tease them, give them advices but never dictate their decisions. Buhay nila ito, alam nila ang ginagawang desisyon at alam nila ang mga magiging kapalit nito.

Blaze was just lost and confused. He got lost dahil sanay itong sumunod sa mga utos ng ama niya at noong dumating na sa buhay niya si Gabrielle unti-unti itong nawawala sa daang dati niyang tinatahak. Now he had to welcome foreign emotions he had never felt before and he's having a hard time recognizing that. His ignorance is what hurted Gabrielle Ray.

She narrowed her eyes at the man that appeared in front of her. "Help that child, Bertram. You are one the reasonz why this is happening to him kaya tulungan mo siyang ayusin lahat ng 'to."

The older man sighed and looked at the stairs. "I know."

            BLAZE stared at the empty room with a blank expression. Parang biglang na-blanko ang utak niya habang nakatitig sa buong paligid. His heart felt heavy and tight and he's not exactly sure why.

He left him.

Gabrielle Ray and his son left him.

He was left again. He left him like what that woman did to him. Wala silang pinagkaiba.

Gusto niyang magwala. He wanted to punch his grandfather for taking him away from him. Bakit kailangan nitong mangialam sa buhay niya? Kung hindi nito tinulungan si Gabrielle na makaalis nandito pa sana ito sa kwarto nila, nakahiga sa kama habang payapang natutulog.

He wanted to go berserk, but he suddenly feels so tired. Why did they badly want to get away from him? Is he that bad? Is he that monstrous? Binigay naman niya lahat sa mga 'to at hindi siya magdadalawang isip na ibigay sa kanila ang kahuli-hulihang sentimo niya.

He just want them to stay.

But why does he want them to stay that badly? His riches, his fame and his success will continue to rise even without their presence kaya bakit ayaw niyang mawala sa kanya ang mga 'to?

He doesn't know why. Hindi rin niya magawang sagutin ang sariling tanong. He was so used to having answers to his questions and solutions to his problems kaya labis-labis na pagkalito at galit ang nararamdaman niya ngayon.

But he likes those unnamed emotions everytime he comes home to them. He likes that fuzzy feeling tuwing sabay-sabay silang kumakain ng hapunan at agahan. He likes seeing that guy every morning in the kitchen with his apron on. He likes having weird and nonsense conversations with his kid. He may not say it directly but he's always looking forward for his breakfast,his lunch, his dinner, and his late night snack. Gusto niya ang kakaibang kiliti sa kanyang tiyan tuwing nalalapit ang katawan nila sa isa't-isa gabi-gabi.

He feels complete everytime he's with them. The hallowed feeling he used to have before Gabrielle came to his life has slowly become a stranger.

He walked towards the huge mirror and stood in front of it. He looked at his reflection intently causing his emotions to rise. Magkasalubong ang makakapal niyang kilay habang pinagmamasdan ang sarili.

As the days passed by he's slowly becoming like his father without his knowledge. He used to admire that man. He used to want what he also wanted. Attain what he wanted to attain. In his eyes, he was the greatest.  He was made to believe that. He blindly followed his father.

But when he met Gabrielle Ray, isa lang ang gusto niyang gawin araw-araw: ang angkinin ito. He wanted to own him, possess him, dominate him. Para itong droga na ayaw niyang tigilan. At tuwing malalayo ito sa kanya parang bigla siyang nawawalan ng lakas, ng saysay, ng dahilan.

He wanted to please him.

So he gave him everything that he have, even willing to give more. But he keeps on asking for something that he doesn't have: Love.

Why can'y he have it? How do you even love? What does it mean to be loved? Paano mo ba masasabing mahal mo ang isang tao? Is it more valuable than money or expensive things? Mas importante ba ito sa kompanyang pag-aari niya? What kind of degree do you need to take to have it?

Those questions made him feel dizzy, angry and irked.

He looked back at his reflection with a piercing gaze and slammed his fist with full force. He kicked the chair where he used to make love with Gabrielle. He picked up the vases and throw it on the concrete wall. Pinulot niya lahat ng pwedeng basagin at isa-isa itong sinira sa harapan niya.

Kahit ano pang presyo ng mga ito, kung hindi nito napanatili ang katangi-tanging taong gusto niyang manatili ay wala pa rin itong silbi.

Pabagsak siyang nahiga sa kama at pumikit. Ipinatong ang braso sa kanyang mga mata at tahimik na pinakiramdaman ang paligid. Umaasa siyang tutunog ang kanyang cellphone at sasabihin ng tauhan niyang nasa kabilang bahay lang si Gabrielle at ang anak nito o di kaya ay nasa bridal house kagaya ng ginagawa nito tuwing nag-aaway sila.

Ngunit sumikat na lang ang araw sa mukha niya, wala pa rin siyang balitang natanggap mula dito.

It feels like deja vu.

Tila ibinalik siya sa araw kung saan nakahiga rin siya sa malambot niyang kama habang hinihintay ang pagbabalik ng babaeng 'yon.

His maid told him it was his mother. It was the woman who gave birth to him.

Minsan lamang niya itong nakikita dahil nasa pinakataas ng bahay ang kwarto nito. Hindi niya ito magawang makasama palagi dahil sa daming pinapagawa ng kanyang ama sa kanya. Nakakasama niya lamang ito kapag tumatakas siya sa mga teacher niya.

She would tell him stories, lay down in bed with him and cuddle, she would cook him food in her room, teach him how to play with toys.

That woman also wished to be loved by his father but his father gave her luxury things instead. Then that woman would smile and keep those things she received from his father carefully in her closet.

Akala niya habang buhay itong mananatili sa kwartong iyon para hintayin ang ama niya but she left. She told him she love him but still left.
She told him she was his mother but she never sends him to school, helped him with his assignments, or wait for him at the door. Kailangan pa niyang pumunta sa kwarto nito para lang makita niya ito.

But he couldn't hate her. He could never hate that woman no matter how much he tried.

He just wished she stayed and taught him how to love. He wished she stayed for him. If she brought him with her he would gladly follow her. But she chose to left him.

Naramdaman na lang niya ang pamamasa ng pisnge niya. His heart feels so heavy and painful. His throat feels so tight. Hindi niya maintindihan ang sakit na naramdaman. It was heavier than before. He feels like dying.

Gagaya rin ba si Gabrielle Ray sa babaeng 'yon? Habang buhay niya rin ba itong hindi makikita? What if he finds somebody else?

Unti-unti niyang minulat ang mga mata at tumitig sa kawalan. The sun is already up but he still feels so damn gloomy and dark.

Naupo siya mula sa pagkakahiga at saka napahilamos ng mukha.

He needs to find them.

Bumaba ang paningin niya sa mga nakakalat na mga sira at basag na kagamita sa sahig. Then his eyes stopped at one shiny object. Bahagya itong nakausli mula sa isang box.

Naglakad siya papalapit doon at bahagyang naupo. Kinuha niya ito at itinaas sa kanyang mukha. It was a cage with a shiny crystal birds inside and on the door. Inside the cage were miniature flowers and leaves.

He placed it down carefully and picked up another object from the box. It was a wedding invitation. His heart thumped like a maniac as he read his name beside Gabrielle's. He swallowed the lump on his throat as he observed the sketched reception and wedding customes.

It was amazing how he could easily picture everything out in his head.

"Do you love him?" A familiar aristocratic voice asked him.

G

alit niya itong binalingan ng tingin. The old motherfucker who took Gabrielle away from him. "Fuck off, old fart."

Bahagyang natawa ang matanda at saka napailing. "I know you hate me right now but I just want to ask you something, ijo. If you answer me honestly, I'll help you get him back."

"Help me get him back? You are the reason why he's gone. Are you fucking kidding me?" He sneered.

"No, no, apo." Umiling-iling ito saka humarap sa malaking bintana. "He's gone because he got tired of waiting for you. I am partly to blame but it was mostly on you. You are your own person, Blaze Andrew King. Noong nalaman kong may itinatago kang lalaki, I got curious. What could make my obedient and stickler of a grandson hide something from his father? So I dressed up in my ragged clothes and bought an old slippers and walked in front of that bridal house to meet your lovely man. And he was indeed lovely. I feel proud. Because for the first time you chose something for yourself and it was right. What amazed me most is the fact that you lasted for more than five years. Ngunit sa loob naman ng limang taong iyon, apo, labis-labis na pagtitimpi at paghihintay ni Gabrielle sa'yo. He was waiting for you to realize and learn about your feelings towards him but he got tired before you did. Kung hindi ko siya tutulungang makawala you will forever live in circle. You will never realize your own feelings and you will continue to hurt him until the both of you are ruined. Now I am going to ask you again, ijo: are you inlove with Gabrielle Ray?"

He shook his head tiredly and sighed. "I don't know. I don't know what it feels to be inlove. How should I know if I love him?"

Lumapit ang matanda sa kanya at seryoso siya nitong tiningnan. "You love him when he is both in here," itinuro nito ang kanyang ulo at sunod ay ang kanyang puso, "and here. Mahal mo siya kung siya pa rin ang laman ng puso't isipan mo kahit hindi siya perpekto, kahit walang kakaiba sa kanya. You know you love him when even the smallest details of him becomes so important and special to you. You love him when you still chose to be with him despite making you upset, sad or angry. You find ways to bring back that smile on his face. You love him when you are ready to submit your all to him. You love him when it feels like you are dying when you lose him."

Napalunok si Blaze habang unti-unting nanunumbalik sa kanyang isipan ang maamong mukha ni Gabrielle Ray. He was like a light to his dark world. A breathe of fresh air. He could light up everything the moment he steps in. And he could easily take that light away the moment he steps out.

He throw his head back and laughed softly. It was a mix of bitterness and joy. "Fuck. I was inlove with him all along."

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Waley na po akong time na mag-edit dahil bet na bet ko ng bumurlog. Supposedly ay kanina ko pa dapat 'to tinapos kasooo hahahaha minasahe ko pa tita ko para may pangload haha. I wrote this kagabi and kanina during may extra time kaya pasensya na po sa mga mali diyan hahahaha. Ayon lang po. Thank you for the votes, time and money wasted on my works. Happy 12k followers din!!! yohoooo madami na namang nabodol. hahaha. Ayon lang po. Stay healthy, keep safe and God bless you ols po. hehe labyu ol! mwuah mwuah! ciao!