Chapter 8 - I want so much more than a dream

Loki awoke drowsily from his sleep. Seeing it was but early morning and still dark out, he turned onto his side. Suddenly, the Prince felt a disturbance. An all too familiar tingled in the air. There was magic about him — magic not his own.
Now wide awake, he perched himself on one elbow to glance around. A breeze rustled the drapes on his balcony. Loki rose to shut the door but stopped a moment to look outside. From where he stood, he saw a light from his mother's balcony. The Queen sometimes did spells in the most unseemly hours of the morning when using certain herbs or waiting on specific alignments in the Heavens. A ripple of her magic must've ebbed toward him, as they often performed magic together, despite Odin's discontentment with this particular mother-son-bonding.
Another breeze hit Loki's bare chest. Though the chill didn't bother him, he still pulled the balcony door shut. Then Loki felt the same sensation as before. This wasn't Frigga's magic. And whoever's it was, was in his room.

Swiftly, Loki conjured a dagger in his hand, keeping the blade hidden against his wrist. He slowly turned to face his foe, but again saw no one. He noticed the clothes he casually threw over his mirror the night before lying in a pile on the floor, though. Vigilantly, he walked over, narrowed eyes darting around for any sign of movement.
Just when he was about to pick his clothes up, Loki heard a scuffle behind him and whirled around, ready to strike. His attack was blocked when a dainty hand grabbed his wrist, whilst the other skilfully robbed him of his weapon. Before he could conjure another dagger, his assailant threw him onto his bed and straddled Loki's hips to keep him down, his own dagger at his throat. A lock of blood-red hair then fell in his field of vision. His eyes widened as he stared into two familiar emeralds, edged by a burning red ring.

"Sigyn?" Loki exclaimed in surprise upon recognising his brother's betrothed. "What are you doing here? Why are you not with Thor in Alfheim?"

"You know damn well," Sigyn hissed at Loki. "I know what you did, Loki. I know you saw Queen Aelsa. You've gone too far this time."

"I've done nothing."

"Don't lie to me!"

The dagger nicked Loki's skin. Blood trickled down, staining his skin and the sheets underneath him. He held his hands up in surrender.

"Sigyn, please, calm down," he begged of her. "I swear I've done nothing. I knew Aelsa still held a grudge against Thor for what he did to her last —"

"You made him do it!"

"Yes! Yes, I did. And that is why I went to see her. I didn't want what happened ten years ago to put either of you in danger."

Sigyn's rage seemed to subdue. The red circle in her eyes slowly faded, and her grip on him loosened.

"Did you know what she meant to do with Thor?" she demanded.

Loki hesitated a moment. "I suspected her intent, though I couldn't be certain. And knowing my brother... he would not have objected to it. He might have even instigated it if he believed it would resolve his past transgression."

Sigyn pinched her lips. Loki began to understand what had occurred for her to act this way.

"Is that what happened?" he asked carefully. "Did they —?"

"Did you?" retorted Sigyn. "When you saw her, did you lie with her?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not Aelsa I want."

The maiden froze atop of him. Not caring that there was a knife at his throat, and she could kill him in an instant if she wanted to, Loki brought her to him by the nape of her neck, slowly but decisively, and tasted her full, red lips. How he had longed to kiss those lips again, ever since the day they had both betrayed their desires for one another. Now that it was at long last happening, Loki only wanted more.
Sigyn's nails dug into his shoulder as he fully pressed his mouth on hers. She trembled. Loki saw his chance to retrieve his dagger from her and threw it away. It clattered to the floor. The sound awoke Sigyn from a trance, and she pushed herself up with both hands against his chest. She stared at Loki, her face aghast. He wondered if this was because of what he had done or because she had allowed it.
Loki could tell she was torn between leaving or staying, so he swiftly removed the choice from her. He sat up and let his hands slip around her body, feeling her warmth through the gold silk of her dress. Sigyn gasped at his touch. Her hands were still on his chest, keeping Loki at bay. But he leaned in and whispered, "I want you."

Their eyes locked. The distance closed. Their mouths met again. Sigyn threw her arms around him and clutched his hips with her thighs. Her fingers entangled into Loki's raven hair. Finding her lips had parted a little, Loki pushed his tongue between them and beckoned for Sigyn to meet him. When she did, they danced furiously around each other, fighting for control — a fight which Loki was determined to win.
Sigyn made a small grinding movement as he pushed her against him by her thighs. That brief friction aroused every fibre in his body and shattered whatever propriety Loki yet held onto. He didn't have the patience to unlace Sigyn's dress and tore it open, ignoring her objecting grunt. He drew back, parting only long enough from her lips to rip the rest of the gold cloth off, leaving nothing but rags around her lower body. Her milky white breasts were the most beautiful the Prince had ever seen.

Fuelled by his yearning for her, Loki gripped Sigyn's body and turned over, having her lie underneath him. Her plump, rosy nipples hardened as his chest grazed them, arousing Loki further. His mouth moved away from Sigyn's lips to plant kisses along her jawline and down her swan-like neck.
As Loki nuzzled the dip into her collarbone, he squeezed one of Sigyn's breasts, gently but firmly. Her fingers dug into his hair again. He swore he sensed another ripple of magic around them. It wrapped the pair up, almost cloaking them as if to shield them in a protective veil.
Loki's lips moved to the tender hill that fitted his hand so well. Sigyn gave a light moan as his tongue darted over her sweet flesh, tasting every part of her. And when he took her nipple between his teeth, Sigyn clutched him with her thighs. Emboldened by her responses, Loki dared to push himself up against her. Sigyn gasped at the feel of his bulge and arched her back, tilting her hips ever so slightly. His lips released her nipple, and he raised his eyes to her face as he struck her again.

"Loki... Oh, plea—ah."

Her plea slipped into another moan, and her eyes closed as Loki pressed his hips to hers a third time, harder now. He trailed his hand down Sigyn's body, never taking his eyes off so he could see her reactions. His fingers barely touched her warm skin, but that fleeting brush was still enough to make Sigyn shiver. She bit her lip and fisted the sheet.
Oh, sweet mercy, what was this woman doing to him? Never had he wanted someone as much as he wanted her without there being any mischief or trickery involved. He had to meet her desire and devour her heat. She had to be his. But the sudden feel of Sigyn's fingers closing around his wrist as Loki intended to rip what remained of her dress off stayed him.

"Don't," she whispered.

"Why not?" demanded Loki, surprised.

"Because this isn't real." Her voice was edged with sadness. Tears filled her eyes. She let go of his hand and cupped his face, meeting his questioning gaze. "I've always dreamed that my life could be like a fairy tale. That I would meet my Prince and... But it remains nothing more than that. A foolish dream."

"Sigyn..."

"Farewell, Loki."

Loki awoke with a jolt, bathing in sweat and with a racing heart. The sheets were all tangled around his legs. His blue eyes quickly searched the room, but Loki found he was alone. The sun had already risen. The balcony door stood ajar, as usual. There was no dagger on the floor, and his clothes were still thrown over the mirror. And there was no sign of Sigyn anywhere.
Loki dropped back onto his pillow and groaned in frustration. Had it all been a dream? Had he really been so desperate for Sigyn that his mind conjured her image? It had all felt so lifelike...

Well, of course, she isn't here, idiot. She's with Thor in Alfheim. Your magic doesn't reach there, remember? Obviously, it was only a dream. There was nothing real about it. Sigyn made it clear she wouldn't betray her vow, so just forget it.

Irritated, Loki threw the sheets off, fully intent not to dwell on the tricks his own mind had played on him when something caught his eye — blood drops on his sheets. His hand went to his throat. Carefully, he traced his skin until his fingers found what he was looking for. He crawled out of bed and snatched the clothes away from his mirror. He froze. There it was, as clear as day — a cut, still deep red from the blood spilt.
A shimmer in the mirror suddenly caught his attention. The morning sun made something glisten in his bed. Loki turned back to look at what it was. His breath caught at the piece of torn gold cloth from a woman's dress. And lying on top of it... a red hair.

***

The glen was wrapped in shadows, safe for a few fireflies around the waterfall. Sigyn sat in the cold, damp grass, at the edge of the pool, with one hand stretched out over the surface of the water. With tears in her eyes, she made her illusion stop Loki from further undressing her.
Sigyn gathered what remained of her strength and closed her fingers around the serpent necklace Loki had given her. A breeze blew through the glen, rustling the leaves above. Her magic connected with his. His mind was her mind. Loki's voice echoed, calling out Sigyn's name. Now all that remained was to make it all a dream.

He fell back into his slumber and would not wake again before first light. Not if her magic had truly affected him. It was so stupid she hadn't thought of this before. If Loki's magic could touch her, hers could touch him as well, thanks to their pendants. But until now, Loki had been the one in charge. This was the first time Sigyn knowingly took control. And it felt so good.
She pulled the illusion back through the mirror as soon as she placed everything the way it had been before Loki had woken up. Her fake-self evaporated, and Sigyn fell backwards into the grass, panting from exhaustion and exhilaration.

She did it. She successfully conjured an illusion of herself and sent it through the mirror world. If only she could've stepped through the mirror herself without this trickery. But the risk was too great. For both herself and Loki. If anyone had caught them... The things Loki had done to her... He had been so eager, so lustful... Sigyn had seen, heard and felt everything.
Her fingers dug into the earth. Her tears fell. If only he were the one she was to wed. But she was bound to Thor, whom she was coming to hate more and more. Not only had the Crown Prince betrayed their betrothal, but he had also proven he hadn't changed at all. He was still the same prideful and shallow man she first met. Sigyn had believed him to be better and had allowed her heart to open for him. But she could never love him. Not like she loved Loki.

What can I do? I will never be happy with Thor, but he is the one I am to marry. If I break the betrothal, I lose everything. My family will never take me back. The Asgardians will hate me for turning away from their Crown Prince. I... I'm trapped.

Sigyn clenched her fist. She hit the dirt in outrage. She shook her head wildly in distress. All she had ever wanted was for her mother to embrace her as Frigga had. For a man to hold and kiss her, as Loki had. But she could have nothing her heart wished for. Happiness was not for her; only pain, entrapment, life in the shadow of another...
Her vision blurred. Her heart raced in her chest. That burning sensation Sigyn knew all too well when lost in anger coursed through her body like a violent river. She tried to regain control, but it was too powerful. It gripped her tight and wrenched her every which way.
Sigyn cried out, and the fire burst out from her body. Flames spread through the glen, rising higher and higher up the rocks until they died. The magic of the Urdarbrunn was stunned at the sudden force of such raw power, but quickly restored what was destroyed. It healed all except the young maiden who lay unconscious in the grass and who sank slowly into the darkness of her mind.

***

"What do you mean, she's gone?"

"I went to her chamber several times, but her bed has been undisturbed the entire night. I was hoping perhaps she found you to make amends, and you were enjoying the festivities together, but Sif said you returned to the feast alone in the middle of the night to collect Mjölnir and retired afterwards. She hasn't seen Sigyn either."

Thor looked over at the shield-maiden. Sif nodded, confirming what Astrid said. His brow furrowed. Sigyn could certainly take care of herself, but Alfheim wasn't Asgard. This was a strange land to her, and the Elves could be treacherous if they wanted to be. Malekith, the Dark Elf King, had ruled ages ago, but some of his folk still lived hidden amongst the Light Elves. If Sigyn had fallen into one of their traps, she could be in grave danger.

"I will ask Queen Aelsa to have the palace and grounds searched," said Thor. "Sigyn could not have gone far."

He left to find Aelsa in her private chambers as Astrid and Sif went to Sigyn's room to see if they could discover any hint of her whereabouts. Thor was glad they did not join him. There was no telling how Aelsa would react to his visit, and he did not want his fellow Asgardians to learn about what had occurred between them.
The guards at the doors allowed him in without question. Seeing Aelsa's chambers in daylight, Thor saw the beauty he had failed to notice the last time he was there. Plants, flowers, jewelled chandeliers, and romantic statues richly decorated the room. The bed was pushed further down into the room, leaving it more covered than he remembered. The sheer drapes were pushed open but hanging loosely at the bedposts. Where the bed used to stand was now a small pool with a little waterfall feature. Water lilies floated on the crystal surface, giving a sweet fragrance to the room. Bathing in the pool, with her back to him, was the Queen of Alfheim, her pointy ears stuck out from her hair, bound around her head in a braided crown.

"Have you come to see more of me, Thor Odinson?"

Thor cleared his throat, shaking off the enchantment Aelsa put on him simply by speaking and glancing over her shoulder at him. He approached, making sure to look down at her face and not at her naked body beneath the surface.

"Forgive the intrusion," he said, "but I am in need of your help. Sigyn is missing. No one has seen her since the feast, and I fear that —"

"Do you?" interrupted Aelsa. "Fear for her, I mean. Are you worried about her safety?"

"Of course I am!" exclaimed Thor indignantly.

Aelsa chuckled as she rubbed oil on her skin. "Then you certainly fooled me. You did not seem very worried about her last night."

Thor gritted his teeth. What happened last night should never have happened. Not his argument with Sigyn, nor his... nightly swim (though he wouldn't deny he had enjoyed that). He felt contrite over what had been said and done. He knew his pride got in the way again, and that it wasn't fair to Sigyn to have reacted the way he had when she only meant to help him. It was short of a miracle they hadn't come to blows again.

"Words spoken in anger. I do care for my betrothed."

"Then you will be pleased to hear she is in no danger."

"You know where she is?"

"Not right now, no. But I saw her in the early hours of the morning. I sought her out to discuss what she had witnessed in the garden. A certain pair having their way with each other in the waters of a dark pool can be quite shocking for a young maiden."

Thor felt his heart sink. "S-She saw us?"

"She did. Anyway, as I said, I saw her in her room, and after we spoke, I sensed her leaving Alfheim."

"What? Why did you not tell anyone?"

Aelsa shrugged. "Sigyn was angry. Understandable, of course, considering the circumstances. I suspect she wanted to go someplace familiar to mull things over and be on her own for some time. Or perhaps she preferred to seek someone who... appreciates her. I simply respected her wishes. And this way..."

The Queen rose out of the water and climbed the steps of the pool. Thor stood frozen, his eyes wandering over her body. Water drops slowly trickled down her perfect shape as Aelsa stalked toward him. Her hands crept up and cupped Thor's face to kiss him. The sensation of her lips on his, her naked body pressing against him, made Thor remember the night before.
How she found him wandering the garden aimlessly in frustration and led him to the secluded pool. How she undressed before him in the moonlight and waded into the water like a temptress. How he found himself in the water with her, taking her against the rocks at the far side of the pool.
The Elf Queen drew back, leaving the kiss lingering on Thor's lips. Her eyes found his. There was something about them that troubled him. They weren't warm or seductive like before. They were cold. Meticulous. Triumphant.

"My vengeance is complete." She abruptly let go of Thor and reached for the bath linen to wrap around her body. "I've had my fun with you, Thor Odinson, but you have served your purpose. You've proven yourself to be nothing more but a petulant child, far from a King of Asgard. A small prideful boy and puny God who let the woman destined to be a great Queen slip through his fingers. You have lost her love, if you ever even had it to begin with. And you have lost your father's love as well. Such a disappointment you are."

Thor stumbled back. Aelsa's eyes, which were normally dark blue, were blazing red as if a fire had awoken within her. He knew those eyes. He had seen a similar pair before. And just like then, Thor stood utterly crushed in defeat.

***

The palace was in a quiet state of chaos. Loki noticed the guards hurrying from place to place in packs. The servants kept to their regular duties, but they were clearly anxious. The last time they had all acted like this, there had been rumours of an assassin having found his way into Asgard to kill the Allfather. That had, of course, been Loki's doing — it took them two weeks to discover his trickery, to his great pleasure — but seeing how he had done nothing this time, something else must've happened.
Loki hurried to the throne room, where he came upon the Warriors Three. By their uneasy expressions, the Prince deduced it had to be something serious if it was enough to worry brainless brutes like Thor's friends.

"What happened?" he asked as he approached them.

"It's Lady Sigyn," replied Fandrall. "She has gone missing. Thor is searching Alfheim with Sif and Astrid, but they haven't found a trace of her so far."

"I feel useless standing here," complained Volstagg. "This whole kerfuffle has even made me lose my appetite. I've only had one breakfast. Surely there must be something we can do."

The three men turned to Loki. Despite their jests against him, he was still a Prince of Asgard and definitely the smartest amongst them. They often looked to him in times of need, as he had proven himself capable of quick thinking and logical reasoning more than once.

"Search all the places Sigyn has been to since she arrived in Asgard," he ordered. "If she's here, she'll go somewhere familiar. Question everyone you come across, but make sure they suspect nothing. Casually ask when they saw her last. Be subtle, understood?"

The Warriors Three bowed and marched away, talking amongst themselves about who would search what first. Loki entered the throne room, his mind boggled with a million questions. He had already discarded the idea of Sigyn's visit being a dream because of the gold cloth and the red hair he found in his bed.
The only other explanation he could think of was that Sigyn conjured an illusion similar to his own. But that would mean she'd learned to master more of her magic in very little time, and managed to keep it up from a great distance, which was simply impossible. All sorcerers, even powerful ones like fire mages, required months, if not years, of training.

Sigyn questioned him on lying with the Queen of Alfheim, yet she hadn't answered his own question about Aelsa and Thor. Yet, it was clear enough Thor had done what Loki had not, and Sigyn had found out about it. Now Thor had shown his true colours, she would never love him. A part of Loki leapt in joy over this. But it was only a tiny part.
What Loki truly felt was incomprehensible anger. How could Thor have done this to her? And with Aelsa, no less! Sigyn was twenty times the woman that Elf was, more even! All those times Sigyn could have been with him, but wouldn't betray her vow to her betrothed... It sickened Loki to think Thor so easily cast her aside. His brother didn't deserve Sigyn. He did.

Odin was seated on his throne, his sceptre firmly in hand. A dark shadow fell over his face, giving him a terrifying look. Frigga stood at his side, one hand on her husband's shoulder. They spoke in hushed voices, but fell silent when Loki approached.

"I heard." He took the steps up the throne to hug his mother. "Is there truly no sign of her?"

"None that we can find," she said. "Thor searches Alfheim while Heimdall both our realms, but it's like she's vanished into thin air."

Into thin air... Or perhaps she used the only bit of magic she does control.

"She must have been taken," said Loki.

"Taken?" questioned Odin. "Why would anyone take Sigyn?"

"Why would she leave on her own accord? Father, think about it; Sigyn is betrothed to the Crown Prince of Asgard, the heir to your throne. If one were to believe Thor was actually in love with his betrothed, she would become a target. Her own family might have even taken her back to get more out of their deal with Mother. If not them, then at the very least, an enemy of Asgard. Imagine what they can make Thor do if they have the woman who holds his heart."

Odin and Frigga exchanged a glance. The Queen nodded, and the Allfather rose from his throne.

"If what you say is true, we cannot waste another moment." Odin placed a hand on Loki's shoulder. "Do what you must, by any means necessary. You have my approval. Bring Sigyn back."

Loki bowed to his parents and ran off. He had a good idea of where to look for his brother's betrothed, but it was not in the hands of the enemy. Nor would Sigyn be found at her family home. He only said that to buy himself time.
There was only one way Sigyn could have left Alfheim with no one noticing. And there was only one place she would go to where she was shielded from everyone and everything. The only place that would coincidentally also explain what happened in his room that morning. The sanctuary he revealed to her — the Urdarbrunn.

***

"What do you think?" Frigga met her husband's gaze after Loki took his leave. She tilted her head at him, prompting him to continue. "Do you believe he has anything to do with her disappearance?"

"No," answered Frigga truthfully. "He seemed genuinely shocked to learn Sigyn is gone. And worried too."

"Indeed... which is why I am troubled." Odin sighed. "Loki has never concerned himself over what happens to others. You may be the exception."

"Don't say that. You know very well Loki loves us all. We are his family."

Odin averted at the mention of the word. Frigga knew why. She was the only one who knew why.

"I noticed, Frigga," he said after a few moments of silence. "I am not a blind fool, despite the lack of my right eye. I noticed how they are around each other. But it cannot be. The match is made. Sigyn is Thor's betrothed, not Loki's."

"Would you not rather have our sons marry for love?" questioned Frigga.

"Love... It is merely a matter of a boy meeting a girl under the right conditions."

"Oh? Am I to understand then our own marriage was not of love?"

"We knew each other for many years before we wed, Frigga. Our parents saw what we meant to each other, but also what our marriage would mean to Asgard. Thor's marriage is a matter of state foremost, as was ours. Would it be ideal if they loved each other? Yes, which is why I allowed Sigyn to come here a year before they are to take their vows. But will I release them from their bond if they are less than what we are? No, I will not."

Despite his absolute verdict, Frigga did not believe Odin would let his son marry if there was no chance of love. Her husband's notions of love were ancient and, in line with royalty, more traditional, but the Queen had long ago discovered that he too held a soft spot for it. She was certain that when it came to it, he would not stand in the way of true love happening.

"What will you do about Thor?" she asked.

Odin huffed, disgruntled. "His actions speak for themselves. I did not want to believe Loki when he came to me a week ago. I wanted to brush it off as another one of his tricks, but even Loki would not sink that low. If I hadn't gone to Queen Aelsa myself the day before Thor's arrival to speak to her of my intent for Thor and ask one of my ravens to stay behind to watch him, we would never have seen the truth. I believed he changed, Frigga, I truly did... But he is the same."

"Do not despair." Frigga put her arm around her husband's shoulders when she saw his sorrow. "Thor may yet surprise us all."

"Perhaps. Until then... he is simply not worthy."

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