By the time Loki and Hermes arrived at Cape Taenarum, the Norse Goddess' resolve had weakened considerably. All she wanted was to return to Sigyn. The ache she felt from being this far away from her, from having left with their bond so damaged, was worse than dying. The only thing that kept her from making Hermes turn back was the bitter truth. This had to happen. Else it would only be for the worse.

"Are you all right?" asked Hermes, gently setting Loki on the ground beside him.

She wobbled a few moments, the sensation of having moved faster than lightning over an enormous distant not nearly as similar as travelling by Bifrost. "A bit queasy, but I'll manage."

"It's not much further. The entrance to the Underworld is just ahead, through that chasm."

"I remember." Loki gave an exasperated tsk as she looked down the familiar path. "It's always a cave, or a dead tree, or a chasm, or whatnot, isn't it? Why can't the doorway to the Underworld ever be in a meadow or something?"

Hermes chuckled. "That wouldn't exactly carry the same appeal in the stories now, would it?"

"I suppose. Shall we?"

"What's the rush? We can catch our breaths for a few minutes. Have you even had breakfast this morning?"

"No, but —"

"No buts, Loki. You know you cannot eat anything from the Underworld, else you'll be trapped there forever. Persephone has already agreed to provide all you need from her mother's siros and orchards, but you'll still be tempted. If you eat something now, that's a few hours you win at least."

Loki hated to admit it, but Hermes made a valid point. She well recalled the tale of how Persephone herself had eaten half a pomegranate from the Underworld's garden. Whether she'd done so willingly was still a question of debate amongst many. Yet from what Loki had heard, the rulers of the Underworld were a good match, not unlike Odin and Frigga.
Reluctantly, Loki sat on a flat-surfaced rock while Hermes took a canteen and bundle from the pouch at his hip and offered them to her. She scowled up at him. If Hermes believe she would just readily accept anything he offered, he was sorely mistaken.

"Something wrong?" asked Hermes.

"You dare ask me that?" sneered Loki.

The Greek god cocked his head in confusion before realisation finally struck. "Ah... right. Well, I can assure you, it's safe. I didn't prepare or pack this. Sigyn did."

"Sigyn?"

"Yes, this morning. She had it ready for your journey."

Loki's heart lurched in her chest. Had her wife really...? She tried to find any sign of trickery in Hermes' eyes, but there was none Loki could see. Then again, she'd been wrong about him before.

"Loki," Hermes spoke, "if I wanted to harm you, I could've attacked you many times over by now."

Another valid point, proven by Hermes' past conquests. Loki might've used the excuse of Midgardians' tendency to exaggerate in stories during her argument with Sigyn, but she couldn't deny the unfortunate truth. If Hermes wanted something, he took it, regardless of what it cost or who suffered. However... their own affair had lasted over a century. A testament to his patience and resourcefulness.

Seeing Loki remained hesitant, Hermes opened the canteen and drank from it. Next, he undid the bundle of food, breaking a piece of the bread and put it in his mouth. Then he pushed both into Loki's hands and took a step back, arms outstretched. "There," he said. "No poison, no trickery. Now will you please eat what your own wife prepared so she doesn't kill me for not taking care of you? She's uttered several threats against my person, and there's not a single doubt in my mind she can execute every single one of them."

The Grecian promptly sat on a log opposite Loki. She yet eyed him cautiously, half-expecting one of his many bastard sons or daughters or even his half-siblings to jump out and ambush her. But the only sound drifting along the morning breeze was that of birds waking and leaves rustling.
Loki glanced about her a last time before finally unwrapping the package Sigyn had made for her. A smile crept up her lips. Aside from a mouthwatering, fresh-baked loaf of bread, there were strips of honeyed pork meat, some goat's cheese, and a tiny jar of... Loki's smile faltered as she stared at the jam, her lips pressing together to hold back a sob.

"Loki? Hey, what's this now?" Hermes was at her side in the blink of an eye, his arm already draped around her shoulders. "Why the tears?"

"The jam," answered Loki, her voice breaking. "Cloudberries. It's... Sigyn had a craving for those when she..."

"Oh... I see. Do you want me to get rid of it?"

"No!" She clutched the jam as if it were a piece of precious gold. "No, I just... It's fine. Sigyn must not have been paying attention."

"Or maybe she did," offered Hermes. "Maybe she's reminding you what and who you're doing this for."

Loki met his dark gaze. Not for the first time did she catch a certain look in Hermes' eyes. One she used to long for but now hated. Yet this close to her former lover, his body touching hers, and Loki couldn't help remember the days she called him hers and he called her his.
The little jar in her hand grew heavier, as did the necklace at her small bosom. She averted, thankful for these simple yet precious gifts her wife had given her. Hermes was right; even in her absence, Sigyn was reminding her of her promise. Of her goal. She couldn't falter.

Loki swiftly brushed her tears away with the tip of her fingers and shrugged Hermes' arm off. If he took offence, he didn't show it. He shifted a little, creating some distance between them, but didn't move away. With a sigh, Loki held out the bundle of food and waited for Hermes to take something. He shot her a grateful smile, settling for a piece of cheese.
They ate in silence, watching the sun rise over the horizon. Now that she was much further south, where temperatures were much more agreeable than in the fjord lands of Midgard, Loki was quick to discard her travel cloak. She folded it neatly before putting it in her satchel and closed her eyes a moment to soak in the warming rays of the morning sun. They almost felt as comforting as waking in Sigyn's embrace. Almost...

"I see that hasn't changed."

The sudden sound of Hermes' voice jolted Loki. She opened her eyes to find the Greek Trickster looked at her with an amused expression on his smug face. "Excuse me?"

"The sun," clarified Hermes. "You've been sitting there for over fifteen minutes, just soaking up its energy. You used to do that after engaging with me in certain... activities."

Loki shot him a menacing glare. "Why I do what I do is no longer any of your business, Hermes."

"I'm just saying, it's nice to see some things haven't changed. But, um... out of curiosity, you really haven't?"

"Haven't what?"

"Slept with your wife since you changed into a woman. As I recall, you were most eager to try this body out with me in my male and female form. Sigyn doesn't strike me as someone who would object to exploring this, so what's with the delay?"

Loki stared at Hermes, utterly perplexed at his callous words. Then the rage settled in. Every fibre of her being battled between the urge to scream and maim the God next to her or to rip his throat out and throw his body over the cliffs further ahead.

"Hermes," she spat his name through gritted teeth, her jaw clenching in sheer anger. "Sigyn and I have only just lost our child. Both our bodies have suffered great injuries, as have our hearts and souls, and mine has completely been transformed into something I utterly detest. You may not understand, having a serial rapist father as a sole role model and being the plaything of a whore while having done your fair share of questionable things to your own bedmates, including myself, but perhaps you could at the very least consider that sex is the farthest thing on some people's minds after experiencing trauma. If you can find even a shred of compassion and decency in whatever remains of your rotten heart, you will never speak to me, or anyone, for that matter, in such a boorish way again."

With that, Loki jumped to her feet, stuffing what remained of her breakfast into her satchel and promptly turned around, fully intending to continue to the Underworld by herself. Unfortunately, she again forgot about Hermes' speed. He cut off her path in a heartbeat, making her stumble back with a gasp. Before she could defend herself, Hermes grasped Loki firmly by her shoulders and pulled her in.
When their lips met, Loki's entire body stiffened against him. Every muscle tensed, spasming violently as they fought against her paralysis. But she remained frozen, too shocked to even push Hermes away.

Memories flooded her. The way Hermes had laughed after she'd discovered him with that traitorous bitch. How he hadn't even denied what he'd done and even went as far as inviting Loki to join them because 'it was all in good fun and never meant anything'...
Tears stung Loki's eyes, and finally, she regained her senses. Her nails dug into Hermes' upper arms, mimicking his own grip on her, and she brought her knee up. He grunted as she struck his groin and loosened his hold, giving Loki the chance to wrench herself free. She was quick to hit the Grecian's obnoxiously perfect jawline with a left hook that would have even made Thor wince.

"Stop, stop!" Hermes held his arm up in defence from the ground, as Loki towered over him, prepared to inflict even more damage on him. "I yield. No more."

But Loki didn't want to stop. Hermes deserved every bit of pain and so much more. Not just because of what he'd done to her, both now and in the past, but because he just wouldn't learn. He was always just... him.

"Give me a reason," she hissed. "Give me a reason not to tear you limb from limb, you miserable craven, because clearly this is the only language you and your disgusting kin can speak. Your pantheon is the vilest of all, Hermes, and you damn well know it. Always taking what isn't yours, desiring what belongs to another, forcing yourselves on those too weak to defend themselves against you. Well, I am not weak. I am Loki, and I will never submit to the likes of you ever again!"

Again, Loki made to leave. Again, Hermes stopped her. Yet this time, it wasn't by action, but by words.

"Who hurt you?" he called after her. Loki froze in her stride, her breath catching. She kept herself from glancing back, so he continued, "I mean it, Loki. There's something you're hiding. Something terrible that's happened to you. I can't help but think it was in this form and... the one who hurt you was like me."

She swallowed, still reluctant to face him. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't do that," said Hermes strictly. "Don't deny your pain when it's so evident. You know very well what my abilities are."

At hearing those words, Loki's head jerked, her eyes finding his. Of course, how could she have forgotten? As a psychopomp, Hermes could read the souls of others if he was near enough. Get the lay of the land, so to speak. An impression. Upon touching them, though, he could syphon what the soul had experienced into himself. A hand could be swatted away, but a sudden kiss by a man such as him... That momentary shock was all Hermes needed to get whatever information he sought.
It was Loki's good fortune she had learned long ago to protect her mind from creatures such as him. Hermes may have got some something, but not everything. And he never would. Not if she had a say in it.

"Kiss me again," threatened Loki, "and I'll castrate you. Understood?"

She walked away, leaving Hermes in the dirt, where he belonged.

***

"Lady Sigyn, are you certain we cannot join you?"

"Yes, Rúna," answered the Princess. "Return to Asgard and tell Odin and Frigga what we discussed, but only that. I'll call for you when Loki and I have returned and if we have need of you."

The young handmaiden nibbled her lip, no doubt holding back another reason why she should come along. Bless the girl, she really was ready to follow her to the ends of the Nine Realms.

"I still don't like this," said Fandrall, coming up behind Rúna. "Even if Eros is arguably one of the better Olympians and less of a warrior, he's still the son of Aphrodite and has immense power at his disposal. And what of Loki, hm? Pardon me for saying so, but Hermes is as dangerous and conniving as Loki herself can be. She should never have gone with him on her own."

"I'm aware, Fandrall." Sigyn gave a tired sigh as she eyed the Greek God feeding a family of hares underneath the pine tree further ahead. "I didn't agree to any of this at first either, but Loki made her choice and I have to respect that. Besides, we couldn't go on living like that. Something had to be done. We came to Midgard in search of healing, so... maybe this is it."

"And if it's not? What then?"

In all honesty, Sigyn didn't even dare to think about the 'what if?' just yet. She held no belief whatsoever in any of the Olympians - though, admittedly, Eros indeed seemed the least likely to betray them - but she didn't have to either. She only had to trust in Loki. And in herself. Somehow...

"Have you got everything?" she asked, purposefully ignoring Fandrall's last question.

"Yes, Lady Sigyn," answered Rúna before Fandrall could.

"Good, then you should depart now before you lose the light. Give our love to the King and Queen. I will send a message from Eros' palace as soon as I've heard from Loki to let them know we've settled in and we are well. And remember, not a word about what's happened to Loki to anyone."

The handmaiden and warrior nodded. Fandrall bowed solemnly in farewell and turned to the four horses and one pony to tie them together to ease their ride through the fjord to where the Bifrost could easily open. But Rúna remained in place, fidgeting a moment with the sleeves of her dress. Then she sprang forward and wrapped her arms around a stunned Sigyn's neck.

"Please be safe," she whispered. "If anything were to happen... You and Loki have been the closest thing to parents since... Sigyn, I love you both so much. Come back, please."

Too overwhelmed to speak, Sigyn reciprocated Rúna's hug, clutching the young Asgardian in a tight embrace. Something wet stained her cheeks, nearly causing Sigyn to give in to her own tears as they stung in her eyes.

"Go on," she mumbled with a sniffle, and nudged Rúna away. "Enjoy your time at home and be with Fandrall. Know you have my blessing and Loki's. Go, go."

Their hands were the last to break apart, their fingers prolonging the inevitable for as long as they could with a slow drag. Sigyn remained at the fire pit as she watched Fandrall help Rúna up in her saddle before climbing onto his own horse. They both looked behind as they rode off, and Sigyn waved goodbye, feeling her heart contract inside her chest once more.

There'd been a time when heartache was something the fire mage only read about in books. It had been a fantasy, a fleeting thought she never imagined experiencing herself. Her parents and brothers had never shown care or love, so she had never expected to feel anything if something were to befall them.
Thirty years had since gone by. A blink of an eye for one possessing longevity and youth. Yet in that blink, Sigyn had found a new family. She'd found love. In even less time, it had all gone away. Lost, with only the smallest hope of ever retrieving it.

For the first time since meeting Loki that day in the Frigga's garden, she wished she hadn't. Better to not know love than to have and endure its agony.

***

Loki traversed the chasm at a brisk pace. She knew Hermes could easily catch up to her thanks to those damned winged sandals of his, but so far, he was smart enough not to. The more distance she put between them, the more time she gained to gather her thoughts.
Under no circumstance could she allow Hermes to get that close to her again. That was the second time he'd surprised her, and she didn't care for it. She had to keep her wits about him. The last thing she wanted was for him to find out about the horror she went through seventy years ago. If he ever learned of that...

Loki came to an abrupt stop. A sudden cold had hit her. There was no breeze, though, not down here. And were those... whispers she heard?
Cautiously, she searched her surrounding until her eyes settled on a crevice. It was well hidden, barely visible to mere mortals. But she was no feeble Midgardian who lacked magic sight. 

If there was one thing Loki and Thor shared, it was their curiosity to explore. The former Crown Prince had always longed to go on grand adventures to known realms with his friends in search of glory and fame, whilst Loki felt more inclined to traverse the hidden, secret paths between realms on her own. 
Yet standing where she once stood centuries ago, her intent not of mischief but of necessity, Loki felt her courage waver. And she barely had any to spare. Thor undoubtedly would've rushed in without a second thought, hammer raised high, roaring like a thundering beast and announcing his arrival to the entire Underworld. Not for the first time did Loki wish she had but a smidge of his foolish bravado. How she hated that. 

A pebble skimmed across the chasm floor, nearly making her jolt. Loki rolled her eyes in annoyance and tsk-ed. "Hermes, will you stop following me like a creepy stalker and just get over here already?"

"Can't blame me for being prudent." The Grecian approached with a light-hearted chuckle. "Didn't want to take any chances of you still being angry with me, as both you and Sigyn seem to favour a very well-aimed kick to one's manhood, in every meaning of the word."

"I am still angry with you. If I didn't need you to introduce me to Hades, Persephone, and Mnemosyne, I would've disposed of you already. As it is, it seems I must tolerate you. For now."

"Lucky me. Shall we?" 

Hermes offered Loki a hand, as if to guide her into the crevice that could barely fit one person, let alone two. She ignored him and went in on her own, wedging herself through the tight entrance. Just one foot in and a waterfall of half-mumbled slurs — most directed at Aphrodite — fell from her lips.
Last time she'd ventured into Hades' world, Loki transformed into a snake and had easily slithered in. But because that vain harlot had cursed and stripped her of her magic, she couldn't even cast the simplest protective charm. The rocks scratched at Loki, pulling at her clothes and hair, restricting her movements. It became harder to breathe, and darkness quickly enveloped her. Then the pressure was gone.
Loki's lungs filled with much needed air as she tumbled out of the impossible pathway and onto black sand. A pair of firm hands grabbed her shoulders, and Loki hurriedly slapped them away, fleeing from Hermes in a half-crawl. She looked up, meeting his expression. The bastard actually had the audacity to look hurt as well as surprised. 

"I don't need your help," said Loki, as she stood and dusted herself off.

"I'm not so sure of that," said Hermes. "Loki, can we please just —"

"The dock is that way, yes?"

Hermes sighed at the interruption, but answered nonetheless. "It is. I hope you remembered to bring the ferryman's due."

"Charon's fee, Cerberus' treat, and a gift of stories for my gracious hosts, yes, I brought everything. I haven't forgotten what you told me about the laws of xenia."

"Oh, well, at least I did something right then." 

Loki chose not to reply to that. She walked steadfastly down the pathway to the single dock, with Hermes following close behind. 

"Looks like we arrived just in time," he said Hermes. "Here comes our ride."

A great barge, illuminated by a single torch, slowly approached from the tenebrous fog, its ancient and splintered form gargantuan, its black hull overtaken by rotted branches and vines. The vessel creaked as it docked, and a gangway slammed down directly in front of Loki. The smell of sewage water, damp earth, and decay wafting from the boat made her stomach churn.
Hermes stepped forward as a cloaked figure at the stern materialised from shadows and dust. Loki gasped, recalling too late what Charon actually looked like. The gaunt creature with skin like aged parchment stretched thin over brittle bones met Loki's fearful gaze as it listened to Hermes. She found no eyes, merely two ember-like lights gleaming from sunken sockets beneath a tattered hood. They shone brightly... brighter... brighter until...

"Loki," Hermes called to her, jolting her from her trance. "The payment."

Hurriedly, Loki reached into her pocket, having prepared the ferryman's coins before she'd left home. The gold coins clunked into Charon's outstretched, skeletal hand. One by one, the fingers closed, accepting Loki's payment. She boarded silently and sat as far away as she could from Hades' first obstacle. 
As Hermes joined her, the barge began to move, gliding smoothly over the dark river Styx with every paddle of Charon's warped oar. Loki dared to look over the side, regretting it instantly. Faces. There were faces in the water. 

"Mortals no longer believe in us," said Hermes upon noticing her aghast expression. "They've forgotten the ancient rites. Most who see Charon turn back in horror, doomed to wander the earth until they're found by Hades' pets and dragged to the other side. Some try to board, but Charon accepts nobody without payment. That," he motioned to the water, "happens when a soul falls into Styx. They are instantly plagued by all the woes and throngs of their mortal coil, too inconsolable to get out, and are lost in the current. It's a shame, really. I miss the times where I snuck into Hades' court and watched his representatives decide which soul was to go where. It was always a good show when somebody was sentenced to Tartarus."

The name sent a shiver down Loki's spine. She clutched herself, wondering if it was any worse than Helheim. That dark and misty abode of the dead in the world of Niflheim had more than once been the stage of Loki's nightmares as a child. She'd been terrified of Garmr, the four-eyed, blood-soaked hound, of the giant eagle known as the 'corpse-eater', of being trapped beyond the impassable river Gjoll.
Yet from what Loki'd gathered during her studies and her time with Hermes, the prison of the once-dreaded Titans differed from Helheim in one very important way. While Helheim was what awaited all those who died of old age or disease, those not killed in battle, regardless of how they lived their lives, only the most wicked and depraved souls resided in Tartarus, their crimes in life warranting eternal punishment. 

"Is... she there?" asked Loki with a sideways glimpse. "In Tartarus, I mean. I heard rumours that... a former Asgardian was trapped there. And that my father approved."

"He did. And yes, she is," answered Hermes, knowing all too well who Loki referred to. "That hag will never see the light of a new day again, Loki. I've made sure of that."

"Hm... Thank you."

"I didn't just do it for you, though I'll admit you were my main reason. No, her greatest mistake was making an enemy of a son of Zeus. Nobody manipulates me. Not unless I allow it."

The anger edging the God's voice felt oddly reassuring to Loki. Hermes was many things, but he kept his promises. And if he promised vengeance... woe to those who had tempted his ire. 

"So," Hermes raked a hand through his hair, "now that we're in the same boat with nowhere to go, can we perhaps finally have a civilised conversation?"

Loki scoffed, crossed one knee over the other, and leaned in with her arms wrapped around herself. "Civilised... That's a very odd word coming out of an Olympian's mouth."

"Hey now, that's just rude. Don't forget, the Greeks laid out the foundations of democracy, philosophy, and mathematics. Without us, they would've been as rough and dimwitted as your Northern savages."

"Without you, there might've been a pantheon actually worth worshipping. Instead, the Greeks had to settle with petty beings who throw a tantrum at everything and claim everything they believe is theirs to claim."

"Oh, as if your kin is so much better!"

"You're damn right we are!"

Loki's eyes shot fire at Hermes, her lips curled back in an aggressive snarl. The Grecian met her anger dead-on, his own expression twisted by indignation. Then he huffed and dropped his head in his hands. 

"Zeus, this is going to be a nightmare," lamented Hermes. 

"For once, we're in agreement," said Loki. "I won't stop you if you wish to leave."

"Leave?" Hermes turned his head to look at Loki, his brow furrowed in surprise. "Why would I do such a thing?"

"Why would you stay?"

The ensuing silence was disturbed only by the water splashing against the hull as Charon's boat continued to traverse through the Styx. Loki closely regarded Hermes as the Olympian averted with a look of... shame? No, that couldn't be it. Hermes never felt shame. 

Oh Norns, no. Loki's eyes widened as she then recalled what he'd called her in Olympus. Oh, he better not!

"Whatever misgivings you have about my intentions," said Loki, "allow me to make one thing quite clear; I won't return to you, Hermes. My world has changed, and so have I, but my feelings for you haven't. If I can't go back to Sigyn, I won't go back at all. Even if you were to take a dagger to the chest and bleed out for me, I would still prefer a life of solitude over even an hour with you. I will never stop hating you for what you did to me."

"And what about what you did to me?"

"Excuse me?"

Hermes met Loki's gaze. Something new lay in the Greek Trickster's eyes. Something Loki had never seen in him before — resentment. But what could Hermes possibly resent Loki for? 
Before she could ask, though, the boat jolted, and Loki had to grip the bench she sat on so she wouldn't lose her balance. She looked up at Charon, who stood motionless at the stern, his oar still in his hands. The green dots shining from beneath his hood were on her, and she felt as if he were staring into the very depth of her soul. Wait, was he? Did the ferryman hold such power? 

"We're here."

At Hermes' voice, Loki turned her head and gasped at the harrowing dwelling of the Underworld's rulers looming over her. Somehow, it looked even more dreadful than when she'd last been here to steal Hades' Helm.
Hermes rose to his feet and waited for Loki to do the same, but she sat paralysed. Her thoughts ran rampant in her head. There was still time to call this whole thing off. She could demand Charon transport her back for an extra fee and leave this dismal place behind. Sigyn had been doing her own research, so maybe if they worked together...

No, I can't. I've gone through everything already. Aphrodite isn't some mediocre Goddess, but as close to a primordial being as anyone can get. She holds powers even Frigga respects and fears. She did this to teach me a lesson, so... a lesson I must learn. Sigyn can't help me with that.

With a deep breath, Loki finally stood. Her legs trembled as she followed Hermes down the gangway. She dared to glance over her shoulder. The ferryman remained still, uttering no words of farewell, but kept his embers on her. Again, Loki felt herself contract from the inside out at Charon's penetrating stare. She hoped she'd never required the creature's services again.

"Huh... that's new," said Hermes suddenly.

Loki faced the front again, the towering obsidian walls making her feel as small and insignificant as an ant, as the jagged iron gates groaned open before her. Two figures came towards them, the eerie, corpse-blue mist from the river rising and swirling across the ashen ground as they approached. A giant shadow then came up from the darkness. Either it was a trick of the mind or that shadow had three heads.

"Since when do you greet visitors at the front door?" asked Hermes.

"Since when do you presume to tell me what to do in my own realm?" retorted the man. He stopped a few feet from Loki and Hermes, a woman a full head shorter than him halting at his side. A pair of black eyes narrowed at Loki. "So... you're the one then."

She swallowed the lump in her throat and curtsied, gravity pulling her down. Hermes waved his hand from Loki to the man and said, "Loki of Asgard, allow me to introduce the King of Elysium, Asphodel, and Tartarus, ruler of the five rivers, guardian of the dead, and brother to Zeus, the Thunder Bringer — Hades."